Okay, I feel really juvenile for even typing this, but it irritates me so I have to vent.
Last week was a coworker's birthday (someone I'm friendly with here but don't see outside of work) so even though I'm COMPLETELY strapped for cash (let's just say one of my dinners the other night was cheese and crackers and a leftover egg roll. *Yum*<---insert sarcastic voice here), I ran out on my lunch break and got her a card and a ten dollar Starbucks gift card. Oh, and a cute little birthday stuffed animal. And she emailed me later that day saying she knows I've been broke and I shouldn't have worried about buying her a gift, but she appreciates it. So that made me feel good that I was still able to do something for her.
Jump ahead to today when she is in the office putting "Thank You" cards in everyone's mailbox that gave her a gift (and mailing some out to family and friends etc.). SO I looked in my mailbox assuming I'd see a thank you card there...nothing. Now, let me explain, I'm NOT one of those kinds of people that does something just so that I can hear a "Thank You" afterwards or EXPECT gratitude. I give cuz I like to give and it makes me feel GOOD. I like to see people smile. But that being said, I have to admit, I'm feeling slighted that it seems EVERY ONE else got a thank you card--EXCEPT ME.
Part of me (the high-schooler part that I read about in Dawn's blog about insecurities and wanting people to like us) is like "Oh it's becuz you only gave her a ten dollar gift card, she thinks you're cheap." And then I'm all snotty-sounding in my head saying, "Who cares? It's all I could afford!" Then there is the OTHER part that is like, "Sheesh, that's totally rude that she didn't give me a card but she did to everyone else. Screw her!" Then the rational side of me is like, "Hmmm...maybe she forgot about me?" or "Maybe it got lost in the shuffle and I"ll see that Thank You card in a couple days."
Now, I ask you, WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??? Why do I hold on to things like this? In the GRAND SCHEME of LIFE this is completely insignificant! And despite knowing all this, it kind of just festers in the pit of my stomach! Ugh. I need to let it go. I know this. Sorry for this crazy, babbling vent. Now that I'm finished typing this whole thing, I almost want to sheepishly delete it. LOL