Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I am taking back my previous bitchy and whiny post. Life is too freakin' short to worry about a cat shitting on your couch, or a crappy cup of coffee.

My mom just called me earlier to tell me her friend Peggy called her sobbing and said her husband died at quarter to one in the morning. Her husband, Dennis, was very ill. Terminally so, with cancer and a brain tumor among the worst things. They knew he didn't have long to live. But last night he got up to use the bathroom and started coughing....who knows if something ruptured or what...but he started bleeding out profusely. Peggy ran to call 911 and when she came back into the bathroom, Dennis was already dead. She never even had the chance to say "goodbye" or "I love you".

God. How can I complain about stupid, stupid things like an annoying pet or drivers cutting me off on the road, when this woman will no longer have her husband, the love of her life? And not only will she not have her husband, but she will not have their home either. They are an older couple (Peggy in his early seventies, Dennis is his sixties) and were living off of Dennis' unemployment check. They have no family (that there are good relations with...so no one to take her in really), no savings, no pension, no insurance, NOTHING. This poor woman does not even have enough money to do a memorial service for her husband. She will have him cremated and he will be buried (with the ashes of their beloved dog) in a Veteran's cemetery (since there will be no cost for a plot there).

And completely off on another tangent now...what the heck kind of world do we live in where people can't even afford to DIE? It is just not right! To have to grieve for your husband while simultaneously wondering how in the hell you are going to pay your rent? And live? I feel for this woman so intensely...and I only met her and Dennis once or twice. I feel like I know them though from hearing about them through my mother. That's the problem with having Death touch me and my family so closely...I feel like I can't help but empathize with every person I know who loses a loved one. A part of me feels their ache. I know there is not much physically that I can do for this woman, or financially, but I might bake her something. I know the last thing she will want is to eat, but I really feel the need to let her know that people do understand what she is going with, and people do care.

Anyway, enough of this rambling, depressing blog...I think I need some tea.....

6 comments:

Melissa said...

Sending prayers to your mom's friend and those around her.

Zoe said...

i used to work in home care and i saw some seriously sad stuff with the elderly. i hope that it all works out...praying for her.

Cecily R said...

Oh I am so sorry for her! That's awful. I hope that there are people around her that know what has happened that can help.

The fact that you feel so much for someone you don't know is a sign of your kindness. The world is a better place for it. :)

Melek said...

that's so sad and scary... how horrible for your mom's friend.

Taj said...

Oh, that is sad. Hopefully she has kind people like you and your Mother to help her through this sad time.

kim said...

Thanks for thoughtful comment on my blog.

I like your idea of baking her something -- I know my grandpa appreciated prepared meals after my grandma died. He probably wouldn't have ate more than toast if nobody made him stuff.