I have a closet obsession....I LOVE rap. Hardcore, sharp, gritty, offensive, (and yes.. .*gulp*...obscenity-ridden) rap. I don't know when this obsession started but the reason it's a closet confession is cuz I look completely and totally ridiculous rapping along with Ludacris, G-Unit, Jadakiss and 50 Cent (I know, I know, what about the Feud?? All I can say is, hey, I don't discriminate!LOL).
Anyway, another thing about me is my minor (very minor) road anger. I won't call it road rage, cuz I don't get that crazy, but behind the wheel I have quite the potty mouth when other drivers piss me off.
So tonight after leaving work, I had to run to Petco and pick up the pups dinner and I was none too happy about this (Big D was supposed to but he had to work late and I couldn't be a bad Mommy and not feed the furry little buggars!). I came to a full stop at a stop sign in the parking lot and was just getting ready to go when this small white car comes blazing from the the side (we were at like a T-intersection) and blows through their own stop sign, cutting me completely off. Thank god I had enough foresight to see this coming and wait before pulling out in front of him!
Now, I drive a red Chevy Colorado 4-cab, not a huge truck but not a teeny tiny one either. And when I'm behind the wheel of my red mammoth, with a little G Unit pumping from my speakers, I sometimes feel, uh, "bigger" than other people. I felt pretty intimidating as I threw my arms up in disgust and mouthed some choice words, followed by a very unlady-like hand gesture- no, not my gang sign LOL. I followed this dinky little white piece of crap car full of punks out to the stop light (hey, not cuz I'm crazy! I was going the same way...) and continued to uh...mouth off. I then saw the driver doing a (pretty good) imitation of me by throwing his hands up, and flipping his friend the bird, then they all started laughing and the back passenger turned back to shoot me an amused glance.
What the hell? I wondered. I'm big and bad and red! You should be trembling in your Nikes! Then I readjusted my rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of myself. This is what I saw...
....Strawberry Shortcake about to throw some 'bows.
Of all the freakin' days I wear my cute, fuzzy pink hat and poofy pink scarf.