Sunday, December 30, 2007 I'm ready to relax.

Yesterday was a busy day. It started with D and I being a bit lazy in the morning and watching one of his Christmas gifts (the 3rd Pirates movie). Then we had to go to the Cashin Family Christmas Party which his grandmother guilts him into going every year. This is extended family that D hardly even knows: his father's cousins, his great-aunts and uncles, and lots-o unknown children. Yay! So we spent about three hours crammed like sardines in a teeny-tiny house with a bunch of virtual strangers while I kept my psuedo-fake smile plastered on and picked at appetizer meatballs and soda. Yum. *SIGH* (I had to be on my best and FRIENDLY behaivor, as this was the first time I was meeting all these people.). And I tried to not giggle out loud when his grandmother, at one point, introduced me as "My niece's fiancee." Um, your niece? When did I become a lesbian? Or more accurately, when did D have the sex change? LOL Then some little five year old girl who I originally thought was cute, started punching other kids, then turned her punchs on D's (already upset) tummy. She was like a Mike Tyson/little princess on crack. I was THISCLOSE to reprimanding her about hitting people but seeing as how I didn't know these people, I felt a little funny telling this kid to keep her hands to herself while all the other adults turned a blind eye. What is wrong with people??? Anyway, thankfully, painfully, we skipped out before dessert with the apologies that we had dinner plans. (Yeah, like THREE HOURS later, but they didn't need to know!).

So last night we went to the casino (Mohegan) with my bestest friend, April, and her hubby Agustin. Had fun but man, oh, man I realized what old people we are now! First of all I wrinkled my nose at HALF of the younger girl's outfits and thought, "I'd never let my daughter leave the house dressed like that." We had dinner at a restaurant and April and I only had one drink (a cheesecake martini! Yum!) and the guys didn't drink at all...and we were all perfectly content with that. Then we did some gambling...yeah between Daryl and I we spent sixty bucks...and it PAINED me. LOL I know people that drop hundreds at the casino yet all I could think of was, "Cable bill, electricity bill, and groceries, OH MY...." Then we got coffee at Starbucks (mmm...must get as much gingerbread latte in my system before they stop serving it till next year) and then headed home. We were home before midnight! Like 11:30pm. And I was EXHAUSTED. Yep, no partying like a rock star anymore, that's for sure!

Anyway, I forgot to mention our lovely trip to Ghetto-Mart (otherwise known as Walmart) and it just reinforced in my mind why I will NEVER shop at Walmart again...and even more specifically the SUPER Walmart in the next town over. As a birthday/xmas gift I was given a new camera by a friend but unfortunately it stopped working so we went to return/exchange it. As we walked in the door we were practically accosted by the employee who could barely speak English. We believe he said, "Return? Return?" in a frantic voice as he spotted the bag in my hand. Then he slapped on that little pink sticker to show that we really brought in the bag full 'o shit and did not steal it. (yet when we left with our bag the employee there paid NO ATTENTION whatsoever. Strange.) Whatever. After getting in line at the courtesy desk (ha, that's a laugh, what courtesy?) we see signs that said: "RETURNS, aisles 12, 13 or 14 ONLY". *SIGH*. Fine. So mind you, there is only ONE EMPLOYEE in one of those aisles and no customers. SCORE. I hustle around to go in the aisle the correct way and start to hand my bag to the employee holding his hand out to me, and immediately this senior citizen rolls up like lightening with her wheelchair and whips her shit onto the belt. Now I love old people, really,I do. I have lots of patience, believe it or not, so usuasully I would have just kinda sighed and laughed. But yesterday, I was already cranked out at how busy Walmart was and getting more irritated as our shopping excursion progressed.

"What the *&%$? This old lady just cut me?!?!" I turned to Daryl and snapped.

"I think she might have been waiting on the other side." He said diplomatically. This pissed me off more as usually D is the one to lose his patience quicker than me in Walmart.

"Um, hello? There is a LINE to wait in?" I informed him. But whatever. My fued was not with D, so I didn't' want to argue with him. As we're standing there, the line behind us SWELLS to epic perportions. The flustered employee continues to help old Miss-Line-Cutter while another employee walks up, points to a customer standing at the end of the register and said, "When you're done there, help this customer return her Ipod."

Um, EXCUSE ME? Biatch? Do you NOT see the huge line of people, ALL of us waiting to return OUR shit? And yet this lady is going to get to cut the line? No, no, no. I think not.

I was ready to throw-down but thankfully the employee started our return first. He refunded us our cash and we got the hell out of line. And headed back through the throngs of people to the electronics department. Where we proceeded to stand at the cameras and make urgent eye contact with the two photo department employees who were so busy chatting about their past night out, and how many tacos they could eat in one sitting, then to pay attention to us.

"Okay," I told Daryl. "Maybe we actually need an electronics employees. I'll get one."

The electronic employee helpfully smiled at me and replied, "Oh no, m'am, you need a photo dept. employee to help you with cameras."

"Oh, you mean the employees who are ignoring us?" I asked sweetly. He laughed nervously as I stalked back to the cameras and loudly interrupted the highly intelligent photo employees conversation with," EXCUSE ME? Can someone help us over here?" And of course our camera, and even the next step up which would have been another ten bucks, were SOLD OUT and not coming in for another week. So we had to purchase a camera that was FIFTY bucks more. I am one who can NOT be without a camera for long periods of time so I willingly forked over the cash.


We left Ghetto-Mart with a sigh of relief, opened up the camera in the car, and realized that it has a rechargeable battery to which we have no charger at home. Son of a.........


Melissa said...

Oy, sounds like my trip to Panera! I to hate Walmart with a passion! I very rarely if ever shop there.

Mmm, cheesecake martini, that sounds really yummy. I can't even imagine what they use to make it taste like cheesecake.

Taj said...

You had a time if it! I've proudly not step foot inside of a Walmart since 2000.

Cheesecake martini? Sounds delicious!

Heather said...

wow...makes me wonder how my trips for returns/exchanges will go.