Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Today I'm a hurtin' pup.

So as I mentioned in my previous post, I fell last night outside my house. I was coming back from the pizza place with Sarah and started to walk up the walkway when she said, "Oh be careful! It's a sheet of ice!" I kind of shrugged her off, after all it's MY house and I knew it would be a tad slippery, and started up the walk, pizza boxes in hand. My feet IMMEDIATELY began to slide out from underneath me so I somehow managed to get my bearings and said, "Wow, you weren't kidding!" and hopped over to the yard...which was JUST as freakin' slippery.

i.e. HARD PACKED SNOW COVERED OVER WITH A SHINY LAYER OF ICE.

I maneuvered slowly but surely up the shiny glistening slope (my yard/walkway/driveway is of course on a hill!) and once I was ready to step back down to the sidewalk, I smartly handed the pizza boxes over to Sarah. (This is foreshadowing, people!)

Then I took a step and that was it...DOWN I went like a sack of potatoes. First landing on my left knee scraping a little skin, then onto my ass, soaking my jeans! Sarah was like, "Oh my god! Are you okay?" And at that point I was more mortified than hurt.

Then I tried to stand up.

Now visual a cartoon character bug with eight legs...each leg going in different directions. That was me on all fours. I could NOT get my footing! Almost there...then...oops, nope....DOWN AGAIN. I had thrown my hands out to catch/break my fall and in the process I broke something alright...I broke two of my acrylic nails (that I just had done Friday) on my front cement steps, scraped some skin on my palms, and felt the pleasant jolt of a hard cement step connecting with my belly (right below my chest) with my full body's weight behind it.

And now even more embarrassed, and HURTING, I hear, "APRIL! Are you okay?!?" It's Sarah's brother, John, who I had invited over for dinner as well (we're friends) who had just pulled up and witnessed the whole thing. He had jumped out of his car with the engine running and I was like, "DON'T come up that walkway, whatever you do!" LOL

So it didn't hurt too badly last night but TODAY is a different story. It feels like someone punched me, repeatedly, in the upper gut. Plus my REAL nail on my pinky (one of the acrylic nails that got broken on that finger) is somehow now jabbing into my finger and it hurts to type! And my leg is *gently* throbbing. Lovely.

Oh, and wanna hear how the rest of my morning went TODAY? I had to go on two errands this morning...the first an office building in my town where there is NO parking so I had to circle the block, and park behind the building. Then I had trek through barely shoveled/sanded sidewalks (OH MY GOD! ICE!) and walk the block to get to the building. Then I had to sit in a waiting area for 30 minutes with some shady characters (I love my house but NOT my town--that's fodder for another another post though). Finally finished up there, left the building and some creepy looking guy in sunglasses and a hooded coat starts talking smack to me in Spanish from behind me and whistling at me as I rounded the bend to go back to my car. I walked as fast as I could go considering now my insane fear of falling on ice/snow again.

Then from there it was on to the DMV Photo Licensing kiosk in Middletown. Again, parking sucks so I pulled into the dumbest shaped lot I've ever been in. It was shaped like a star so once you got to each end of the aisle, you had to then either reverse all the way back out OR do five billion k-turns to turn yourself around. NOT fun with a truck (or any big sized vehicle for that matter). And every space was full. At one point I noticed this young girl, who was driving out of the aisle I was driving INTO, mouthing off at me--and by now I'm already wound tighter than a top, ready to explode. I rolled down my window and was like, "What did you say?" And I hear, "Are you f*&%ing retarded? You can't get out this way!"

Oh. No. She. Didn't.

With my mom still on speaker phone on my cell in my lap (I had been bitching to her about the parking, the lot, etc.) I was like "You wanna talk about retards, b*tch? YOU better shut the f&^$ up and mind your own business you stupid little &$#@! This whole parking lot is a &^$#-show!!!" (There was more to it but the moment is now hazy in my mind...anger just took over.)

And OH MY GOD, did I just say that???? I called that little prissy brat a choice word that I NEVER use, a word that I HATE...if I wasn't so freakin' mad at her I probably would have clapped a hand over my mouth in surprise! It was like that scene out of A Christmas Story:
"Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge!!!" But it wasn't fudge that he, NOR I, said. LOL

Anyway, I didn't get to work until eleven thirty, didn't get to eat my breakfast till noon, tried to laugh at someone's joke but my stomach hurts too badly...will the rest of the day go by any smoother you think???

5 comments:

Amy said...

Oh my god that is INSANE about the girl. I'd say you were crazy, but she started it so I'd say she deserved it.

Keri said...

So, i guess we're not going ice skating this weekend... ;}
Funny , i usually fall going down the stairs. Broke four acylics off below my real nail one winter when i took a digger down my parents steps... couldn't take my glove off and 'look' till i got to work... remember smoking a cig with a bleeding glove, but i was not gonna look. Couldn't sit straight for a week. oh... an the aruro boralis on my butt !! the shades of color it went through. sheesh.
Glad you ok. And ya gotta watch that road rage girlie !lol least you didn't throw snowballs at her.

Chele76 said...

ouch

Melissa said...

Yeah, you took my advice and didn't use the middle finger ;)

I hope your feeling better, a few Advil would probably go a long way to helping...either that or a Vicodan or two.

Here's hoping the rest of your day is better than the beginning.

Zoe said...

ouch that sounds painful...the fall and the parking lot cat fight!