Monday, February 18, 2008

FYI: Sorry to those of you who don't really care about this kind of stuff...but just a warning, this post is a wedding-rambler. Some of it might not make any sense to you, dear reader, but it's me working out the thoughts that are circling like frantic birds in my brain right now!

When will it all be OVER?!?! This process is just so not FUN to me anymore. And I hate that! Why can't I be rich to afford a wedding planner to do it all for me?? *SIGH*

It sounds so silly. I know this. Even to my own ears it sounds that way. It's a wedding for goodness sakes...not a campaign to end world hunger. I guess I just get frustrated becuz I don't have a lot of help from family (and I don't just mean financial, although lord knows that alone is enough to keep me up awake at night! Staring at the ceiling has become a frequent nighttime past time of mine the past few months!). And some of my friends have been awesome pitching in and offering to help and giving me great suggestions but yet I have some girls in the wedding party who have been absolutely NO HELP whatsoever. It makes me sad, because I picked them for a reason (and I obviously am not talking about you, Cars! I love you girl!)...and I have done nothing but doubt my decision from the very beginning.

This whole process has made me painfully aware of how selfish some people can be. They are my friends and I still love them but at the same time, some of the things they've said/done (or haven't said/done at all!!) during this whole time has really hurt my feelings. I don't want to go into too much more detail than that, for personal reasons, but it just makes me sad. Plain and simple.

I guess I need to look at the "glass is half full" part though and realize that some other friends have really stepped up to the plate and done (and offered to do) WAY MORE for me than I ever could have imagined (you know who you are! old and new friends alike. :-)) and I appreciate it more than I can say. I know who will be there for me, in life IN GENERAL, if I need a helping hand. My only hope is that I can continue to return the favors as well as they are given! I know the only way I can show my appreciation is by action. And I hope all these friends know that I would drop everything for them in an instant if they needed my help!

After all, that's what friends are for, right? :-)


Michelle Leigh said...

Ahhh, hang in there. I remember planning my wedding, it got stressful, but once the big day comes, it will all seem worth it. Don't even fret over those people not helping. It will just cause more stress. My sister had a similar situation happen during her wedding process and sometimes you just have to let it go. Try to enjoy it all, it will be worth it!

krissy said...

Listen to me chicky! Those so called friends get a chocolate bar for their gift! The ones who helped gets the gold!!! That will teach them!!! Ha!

Okay, in seriousness and not in a vendictive way.....cherish the ones who are offering more then their fare share and then tell the selfish ones how much fun you are having doing this stuff with the good friends. Maybe they would get the subtle suggestion! And maybe if it sounds interesting to them...they will get their butts in gear!!!

But you are's a wedding and it's what happens after the wedding that counts the most! So, even if it isn't perfect for you, remember that your man is!!!!

Hang in there! I know the pain all too well! And btw...I used to be a wedding planner!

~**Dawn**~ said...

I have to day that I am getting the impression this happens often with weddings. A good friend of mine got married about six & a half years ago. She asked one of our "group" to be in her wedding. Turns out that one did *nothing* to help her out, while the other two of us who were not in the wedding helped her more than anyone. She said she wished she'd known how it would turn out, because she would have made some very different choices.

Anonymous said...

I was lucky, we got married in Oakland near my parents, while living in Alaska, so my mom planned everything. so all I had to do was argue with them about everything, but at least I could hand up on them (which I did, to my dad, once).

It's weird how you find out where you stand with people at your wedding. Wait until you find out how many people 1) won't RSVP and you have to call them and 2) RSVP that they're coming and then don't show up, for the stupidest excuses, and don't even apologize. But it's all about you and D, which means nothing now, I know! but then you'll get married and can pass on the same advice to people who won't believe it until it happens to them.

Keri said...

It's funny in a sad way.... my 'maid of honor' i picked cause i thought she was my best friend... I passed over Chele to pick this sudo friend... and it turned out Chele was the one who bent over backwords to help and my MOH barely showed up to anything except the wedding itself.

Life's big events sure have a way of weeding out the 'dead wood' in one's life.

Enjoy the good times of planning and ignore the 'opinions' and lack of work.

Anonymous said...

Hindsight is always 20/20 . . . if I had to do it all over again, I would elope - and we had one of the smallest, easiest weddings you can have.

And Keri is right - the 'big' things that happen in life are the ones that will show you who your true friends are . . . the ones who would drop everything to come to your rescue. Michelle is right too - once the big day gets here, it will all be worth it. And remember: at least a half-a-dozen things will go wrong on that day, but you will be the only one who notices! (Just to give you fair warning!)

Melissa said...

Weddings are not easy. I learned that with my sil. She learned the same thing you are who would go to bat for her and who wouldn't.

In the end it will all work out I just hope that your stress level goes down rather than up. If I was closer I would help...

Robyn said...

I didn't pick my friends thinking they would help out. I didn't expect them to. I was happy when they did, but it wasn't required of them.

Blogget Jones said...

My wedding day was glorious! And your will be, too. Just expect that there will be a bump in the road during the day, somewhere, but that it'll be okay. At the end of the day, you'll have great stories and a great love.

And I can say this, even though one of my wedding party tried really hard to destroy it all. Even called my fiance AT WORK less than a week before to tell him she hated him. She deliberately dyed her shoes to NOT match, for the photos. Nice girl.

But at the end, I had my glorious day. And she didn't figure into my life anymore. Like others have said, you see people's true colors.

Poltzie said...

I remember feeling this exact same way while planning my wedding! I was amazed at who screwed me over and I was amazed at who stepped up to the plate.
I also remember laying awake at night so stressed about everything.
I promise you though it's all worth it in the end and you will love your day.
Wish I could do more...