FYI: Sorry to those of you who don't really care about this kind of stuff...but just a warning, this post is a wedding-rambler. Some of it might not make any sense to you, dear reader, but it's me working out the thoughts that are circling like frantic birds in my brain right now!
When will it all be OVER?!?! This process is just so not FUN to me anymore. And I hate that! Why can't I be rich to afford a wedding planner to do it all for me?? *SIGH*
It sounds so silly. I know this. Even to my own ears it sounds that way. It's a wedding for goodness sakes...not a campaign to end world hunger. I guess I just get frustrated becuz I don't have a lot of help from family (and I don't just mean financial, although lord knows that alone is enough to keep me up awake at night! Staring at the ceiling has become a frequent nighttime past time of mine the past few months!). And some of my friends have been awesome pitching in and offering to help and giving me great suggestions but yet I have some girls in the wedding party who have been absolutely NO HELP whatsoever. It makes me sad, because I picked them for a reason (and I obviously am not talking about you, Cars! I love you girl!)...and I have done nothing but doubt my decision from the very beginning.
This whole process has made me painfully aware of how selfish some people can be. They are my friends and I still love them but at the same time, some of the things they've said/done (or haven't said/done at all!!) during this whole time has really hurt my feelings. I don't want to go into too much more detail than that, for personal reasons, but it just makes me sad. Plain and simple.
I guess I need to look at the "glass is half full" part though and realize that some other friends have really stepped up to the plate and done (and offered to do) WAY MORE for me than I ever could have imagined (you know who you are! old and new friends alike. :-)) and I appreciate it more than I can say. I know who will be there for me, in life IN GENERAL, if I need a helping hand. My only hope is that I can continue to return the favors as well as they are given! I know the only way I can show my appreciation is by action. And I hope all these friends know that I would drop everything for them in an instant if they needed my help!
After all, that's what friends are for, right? :-)