Oh brother, it's starting already.
Big D talked to his Dad last night on the phone to make sure that he, and his girlfriend, were able to come to the rehearsal dinner. I have to get D's mom the headcount immediately as she needs it to book the restaurant.
Anyway, D's father started in on his, "I just can't stand your mother."
Okay, seriously, you're divorced. OBVIOUSLY you can't stand her. You don't need to love her. You don't need to even LIKE her. This isn't about HER, this is about your son.
Daryl said, "Look Dad, if you don't want to come it's your choice. I can't force you. I really want you to be there for me and April, but I won't hold it against you if you don't go. But, I really need to get a head count asap."
D's dad started saying something about the cost of it and D quickly interjected, "April and I are not paying for the rehearsal dinner." He left it that. From my point listening to D's side of the conversation it sounded like his father asked, "Well who is?"
Daryl sighed, rolled his eyes skyward and quickly replied, "Mom's paying for it. I didn't ask her to; she offered."
"WHATEVER." His father replied. And then he started in about it being awkward, blah, blah, blah and he sort of alluded that maybe he wouldn't come. SO AGAIN Daryl said it was his choice, but come on, it's been SEVEN YEARS, time to get over it and be a grown-up and do this for DARYL, his son.
Finally, his father said he would "swallow it" down and come to the rehearsal for his son. And of course he stuck in, "If your mother is paying, then I'm definitely going." (Now I definitely am glad his mom is not paying for the booze!!)
Sometimes, it really amazes me how adults can behave SO childishly. Come on, dude! Yeah, divorce is tough, yeah it sucked, but you know what? Seven years have passed, things have changed, your ex has re-married and YOU have been dating someone for years...time to move on and forward and not look back! And just concentrate on the fact that your son is happy and making a big step in his life! Just be there and support him! That's all we ask. I love my FIL but sometimes he makes me want to bang my head on the wall.
So, needless to say, after this conversation last night, it just reinforced my decision to quietly thank my MIL and step-FIL and give them a gift another time...and at the rehearsal dinner 'll just thank everyone for their support as a whole group. No hurt feelings...no stress...no fights.
Just some lovin'.
After all, isn't that what this whole thing-a-ma-jig is about??? Mine and Daryl's LOVE? Thank you very much!