Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I have nothing to say today.

I'm feeling kinda anxious, a bit more stressed, and I can't stop munching on "stuff" (skittles, chocolate covered espresso beans, etc...). I feel PMS-moody but MINUS the PMS part. Work is crazy, everyone here sucks, and I want to just go home and lay on my couch. I want to relax and not have to use my brain for a little while for anything other then "hmmm...what tv show should I watch next?"

I'm sure Big D probably thinks I'm acting like a crazy female. I can almost hear the thoughts that are probably spinning in his head, "What is up with her? She's got all kinds of fun stuff planned: Newport this weekend, Bachelorette next weekend, wedding in ONE MONTH and then honeymoon. Why bother being moody, why cry?"

I guess I'm just feeling very overwhelmed. And I have not had a free moment to myself in what feels like forever. I can't wait till it's just me and D on the beach, under the warm sun, digging my toes in the sand and just...breathing. Oh god, that thought almost makes me cry. I definitely need a break.

So, onto a meme that I read on four random blogs today and decided since it was so prevalant, I'd steal it and use it myself:

  1. maybe i should let myself have a good cry.
  2. i love the smell of gasoline, tires, coffee and bread baking.
  3. people would say that i’m funny.
  4. i don’t understand why people need to cause drama at work. Ugh.
  5. when i wake up in the morning I feel impatient for Saturday.
  6. i lost my mind, lately.
  7. life is full of messy houses...mine is one of them. *SIGH*
  8. my past is and always will be a huge learning experience for me.
  9. i get annoyed when people cut me off on the road or highway.
  10. parties are my idea of a good time.
  11. i wish I had more energy.
  12. dogs are cuddly little muffins who often drive me crazy but I could not live w/out.
  13. cats give me comfort when they sit on my lap.
  14. tomorrow I am working. Again. On the same damn project.
  15. i have low tolerance for people that are two-faced.
  16. i’m totally terrified of death (on a serious level) and spiders (on a silly level).
  17. i wonder why i can't force myself out of this slump!!
  18. never in my life have i smoked or done drugs.
  19. high school was a time I never want to relive.
  20. when i’m nervous i talk too much and fidget.
  21. one time at a family gathering um...I don't know...it's been too long since one.
  22. take my advice: eat yummy chocolate covered espresso beans
  23. making my bed almost never freaking happens.
  24. i'm almost always making a list.
  25. i’m addicted to coffee in the morning.
  26. i want someone to cheer me up.


Poltzie said...

Oh April,
That is just how I felt a month before my wedding! Weddings are wonderful and so worth it but they really take a toll on you!
Rest up, cry as you wish and get lots of big hugs!!

Chele76 said...

c'ming on up :)

Law Student Hot Mama said...

I HATED wedding planning with a passion. Good thing my mom did most of it . . . seriously I wanted a fat Elvis Vegas-style wedding but she wasn't feeling it.

Anyway, the honeymoon was THE BEST because the damn wedding was OVER! Though, admittedly, I had a GREAT time at the wedding!

Also, I think when you just admit to yourself that something is going to go wrong it's better. I mean, I fully expected something to go wrong - and it did. One of my bridesmaids passed out during my ceremony. But hell, who cares? I still got married, it was HILARIOUS and nobody cared. Really. Just go at it assuming there will be something that won't happen quite right.

ALF said...

Hope you're feeling better soon!

Rhea said...

You just need a really big, long-lasting, snuggly hug!!!

Hang in there.

BTW, I got married at 19 because I found out I was pregnant (we'd planned to marry anyway, just not quite yet). I planned a massive wedding and got married all in two months, while so stinking sick...

jessica said...

go get a facial and a massage to relax you april!! it will be over soon, all TOO soon!

Motherhood for Dummies said...

wow you have only a month till the big day! Hope things are going smooth...well...as smooth as planning a wedding can be :)

OHmommy said...

Don't worry so much... in one month it will all be a blur. And you and Big D will be on some fab beach laughing about what so and so DID at your wedding. LOL.

Can you blog all about it from the beach? I hope your honeymoon hotel has internet. :)

~**Dawn**~ said...

Sounds like what you need is a weekend to just do nothing. And some Disney World. Coming soon. Hang in there.