I had a...weird(for lack of a better term)...moment this morning while driving into work.
I'm a pretty emotional person. I cry a lot. Big D can roll his eyes here, cuz he knows how easily my waterworks can turn on. Sad movie? Tears. Sad commercial? Tears. Someone telling me something sad happening in their life? Tears. Missing my Dad? Tears. Stressing about something going on in my life? Tears. It's endless. But it is also cathartic and I often feel better, more refreshed, after "getting it out".
This morning as I drove in to work, I had the windows open (the humidity finally went down! yay!) and for the first time in a week, I got to breathe in some fresh morning air. I was sorta spacey (but still paying attention to the road) and didn't really have one particular thought in my head. I had the radio on, but there was nothing sad or intense playing (it was just a Third Eye Blind song, I think...)
Suddenly, without rhyme or reason, I started to cry. And the more I questioned why I was crying, the more I couldn't stop!
It was the strangest, yet most beautiful moment ever. All of a sudden it was like I saw myself, and deep into my core. Saw how much I've evolved through the past 31 (almost 32) years of my life. Realized that I truly like myself, as a person. That I am successful in family and friends (if not with money, LOL)and that I still have such a long, crazy journey ahead of me (hopefully) but yet it was more than all of that. It was such a deep, intense, heart-squeezing moment, I almost couldn't breathe. The cars around me ceased to exist. The sound of the radio was just a gentle, pleasant blur in the background of my mind. It's like my eyes were finally (figuratively) wide open and astonished at what they could see.
I felt free.
It was the weirdest moment ever, but also the most magical. A simple ride in on my way to my boring job, on a typical Friday morning...and yet here I was/am alive and well and happy. Just beautiful.
This may sound weird or sappy or over the top to some, but I'm so thankful for this quiet, quick moment in my day. I had to record it before the feeling of it, that thankfulness, melted away into the daily monotony of every day life: grocery shopping, bills to pay, etc. I'm so thankful.