Friday, July 11, 2008

I had a...weird(for lack of a better term)...moment this morning while driving into work.

I'm a pretty emotional person. I cry a lot. Big D can roll his eyes here, cuz he knows how easily my waterworks can turn on. Sad movie? Tears. Sad commercial? Tears. Someone telling me something sad happening in their life? Tears. Missing my Dad? Tears. Stressing about something going on in my life? Tears. It's endless. But it is also cathartic and I often feel better, more refreshed, after "getting it out".

This morning as I drove in to work, I had the windows open (the humidity finally went down! yay!) and for the first time in a week, I got to breathe in some fresh morning air. I was sorta spacey (but still paying attention to the road) and didn't really have one particular thought in my head. I had the radio on, but there was nothing sad or intense playing (it was just a Third Eye Blind song, I think...)

Suddenly, without rhyme or reason, I started to cry. And the more I questioned why I was crying, the more I couldn't stop!

It was the strangest, yet most beautiful moment ever. All of a sudden it was like I saw myself, and deep into my core. Saw how much I've evolved through the past 31 (almost 32) years of my life. Realized that I truly like myself, as a person. That I am successful in family and friends (if not with money, LOL)and that I still have such a long, crazy journey ahead of me (hopefully) but yet it was more than all of that. It was such a deep, intense, heart-squeezing moment, I almost couldn't breathe. The cars around me ceased to exist. The sound of the radio was just a gentle, pleasant blur in the background of my mind. It's like my eyes were finally (figuratively) wide open and astonished at what they could see.

I felt free.

It was the weirdest moment ever, but also the most magical. A simple ride in on my way to my boring job, on a typical Friday morning...and yet here I was/am alive and well and happy. Just beautiful.




This may sound weird or sappy or over the top to some, but I'm so thankful for this quiet, quick moment in my day. I had to record it before the feeling of it, that thankfulness, melted away into the daily monotony of every day life: grocery shopping, bills to pay, etc. I'm so thankful.

13 comments:

Melissa said...

It's amazing how you can have so much and still have unhappy moments, huh?

I also share your tears today...but not because I'm happy. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...

Jaina said...

What a cool moment. I rarely cry, but it's such a release when I do.

Melek said...

sometimes, you just gotta get it out. i usually feel so much better after a good cry...except for the puffy eyes part :)

Kathryn said...

I can relate. I cry over everything too. I always have. I am a very emotional person. I've actually had a moment similar to what you just described.
It is amazing when you realize how much you love your life, isn't it?

Thanks for stopping at my blog. I am loving yours! :)

imbeingheldhostage said...

Great blog, there's a nice feel to it. And I loved this post. I haven't had a moment like that (yet), but I bet it was amazing. Mine always come triggered by something... well I think they do. :-)

Krystyn said...

Okay, that happened to me, and a couple days later, a big fat positive! Maybe that means something?!?!

Rhea said...

That is kind of a weird moment, but wonderful! I love it! It does feel better to have a release like that and to see deep inside yourself. Very cool!

Heather said...

i love those cries!

lisaschaos said...

That is a pretty amzing moment. How cool!

Flea said...

You didn't crash in a fiery wreck and die! Yay! Because I would have broad sided another car at that point. But that really IS beautiful, April! Many times I've wished I could cry like that. And I LOVE that you are so happy with you. :)

Cecily R said...

I've done that before, and I agree with you. It was just one of those moments that needed to happen and I am grateful it did.

I'm a crier too. I cry all the time over silly things. Happy, sad, I cry.

Stephanie said...

This doesn't sound weird at all. I think we all have these moments. We just wish they would be a bit more frequent than they tend to be. Hopefully you got to hold on to that a while longer.

kittyconcerto.com said...

people call me a crybaby because I cry when I'm sad, angry, depressed, frustrated, and sometimes even when I'm happy.

It's a curse and a joy. Weird? Probably. But I totally understand. A good friend of mine goes to the beach just so she can cry. Beautiful.

but I just don't recommend having this extraordinary moment while driving.....