Tuesday, July 01, 2008

OMG. *COUGH*

Mace spritzed into the air and then immediately inhaled deep within your lungs really fucking hurts. Especially two years expired mace, which one would think isn't as potent.

So, I just walked back into my front office after reading outside on my lunch break. It looked a teeny bit hazy in the office and it might have smelled a bit funny, but it didn't quite register. One of my employees, G, poked his head in and spat out, "April, get out of the there! Can't you smell it?"

To which, I--the incredible dumb ass I am--took a huge-ass sniff and started to say "Smell what--??" And immediately erupted into a spasm of coughing. I ran out of the room, practically hacking up a burning lung, as the other two coworkers down here, now sequestered in a closed office further away, giggled and informed me that coworker B had found the mace in a drawer and just spritzed it, curious about what it was. I, who almost then proceeded to puke into coworker, M's, garbage can, was not quite as amused. I started to cough so hard that I ran back outside where coworker, G, gave me some eucalyptus oil on a napkin to smell and clear the mace out of my orifices.

While I admit I did laugh and see the humor a little bit, as I now sit in my heavily aired-out office (doors and window wide open) smelling a faint stink in the hair, a head ache forming, deep in my throat burning, I said to coworkers G, W and B (B who sprayed it), "Well, I always wondered what it was like to get maced."I guess you gotta have a sense of humor, huh? (oh and please ignore that nasty freakin' zit forming on my nose. It's just a god damn stellar day,no?)





P.S. Please don't miss my post from my weekend with cute pictures...I don't normally post twice in one day so I'm sure I threw people off here but I could NOT not share this with you. My throat is still fucking burning.

19 comments:

Krystyn said...

What a genius your coworker is! Hmm, this sort of looks like pepper spray or mace, I wonder what it does if you push this little button right here? Wow!

Stephanie said...

I actually did this once. But it was me who set off the spray. And it was pepper spray, not mace. I totally know what burning lung feeling you are talking about :(

jules said...

OMG!!
That sucks, but your hair looks great!! :)

Amy said...

See now, I would have died. Or would've though I was dying, with the burning lungs, and coughing, but no knowledge that I'd just inhaled mace, not being able to smell it.

April said...

Julie! HA HA! Thanks!

kittyconcerto.com said...

That royally sucks! But you DO have a great sense of humor about it, which I totally admire. Thanks for taking one for the team and relaying back that mace still sucks ass if ingested. I was darn curious.

Melissa said...

Damn girl, you work in a rough office, huh? Hope you're feeling better now!

Kellan said...

Oh, that is funny - but what a goof co-worker - too bad it didn't close the office down for the day.

Have a good evening - Kellan

Taj said...

I saw a guy get maced once and thought it was hilarious. Of course I was 18 at the time. Don't think I'd find it as funny now.

But yes, your hair looks good! :)

Robyn said...

If you smell it in your hair make sure you lean back into the shower to wash your or it will run back in your face and not be pretty.

The Cubicle's Backporch said...

So what was he doing with mace in his desk at work? Or was it left over from a previous occupant?

I've never been maced, but always wondered what it does to you. I'll consider you my experimental guinea pig! :)

Kel said...

Just 'spritz' some mase around? Now that is funny...who would've thought that!

Have a great day!
~K

countrymouse said...

ugh i got maced at a basketball game back in high school...that stuff is MISERABLE.

ugh.

Steph said...

Oh yuck, why on earth would you spray mace old or not if you were intending to us it???

Steph said...

Oh yuck, why on earth would you spray mace old or not if you were intending to us it???

lovelylalo said...

WOW, what a start to your day! Very stellar. You make me laugh. I wonder what it is like to get tasered...perhaps you should ask B to be your dummy for that one. :-)

Jaina said...

That is absolutely no fun. Ugh. I hope your throat feels better.

Dan Mega said...

Awww that sucks. To get them back- dead fish in their desk.

GoteeMan said...

geez - hope your throat improves...

I did something similar once when I was young - a group of older kids told me to take a deep sniff of something in a cup... what the dumbasses didn't tell me was that it was chlorox mixed with ammonia, which can freaking be lethal...

as a result, ended up not breathing for about 2 minutes (not being able to), and then an onset of asthma a few weeks later...

ah, well - such is life...

J/