Friday, August 29, 2008

Sorry I didn't update yesterday on John's prognosis. I was too tired and worn-out to blog. But news is better thankfully.

Yesterday I got up, showered, and ran to Dunkin to get myself a coffee and a donut for Mom. Cuz I know her too well and know that when she's stressed she will not eat. Not that a donut is so healthy but she does love her some glazed donuts. We then headed to the Veterans Admin. Hospital to see John. I wasn't sure if they would let me in considering I'm not technically "family" but man is this hospital lax. They didn't even ask who I was. (By the way, there is nothing MORE depressing than a Veteran's hospital....sorta run-down and outdated with sad, old Veterans wheeling themselves around in wheelchairs or hobbling on canes. Sad, sad, sad on all of their faces. It was heart-breaking.) And distressing that these are the men and women who have fought for our country at different times, different places and yet no one can even clean up the freakin' urine all over the floor of the rest room I happened to use? It was just plain sad.

Anyway, we walked into the room in ICU and there is John, hooked up to so many wires and tubes and monitors that it almost took my breath away. And I've never seen anyone simultaneously look so old and yet childlike laying there amidst all of that, his eyes closed, under his white blanket, and a random spot of dried blood on his earlobe. It's so random but my thought was, "Couldn't someone have wiped that dried blood of his ear?" My mom grabbed his hand and one of his eyes fluttered half way open and focused on her and he squeezed her hand back. She asked a couple of questions, not expecting an answer since obviously he could not talk with a tube rammed down his throat. He seemed to get frustrated that he could not talk and pulled his hand free and gently smacked his blanket with it. Beside him lay a piece of paper and a pen with the shaky, scribbled word, PAIN in big upper-case letters written on it and also some more scribbles and what what looked like an L for, I"m assuming, left side. John's eyes fluttered close and he seemed to go in and out for a few more minutes; his right leg kept twitching and I couldn't take my eyes off his foot, not covered by the blanket. His other foot that protruded was covered by a gauze wrap. My mom informed me that his left leg had a pump in it originally and it looked like they must have removed it.

"Why don't' they cover his feet?" I asked. "That would annoy me, having my feet popping out like that." It reminded me a of a moment, a bit over six years ago, as I stared down at my father lying in his own bed in his own bedroom, dying before our eyes. His feet were uncovered and I was giving him a foot massage. Dad, when he was still able to talk, would not let his visiting nurse's aid give him a foot massage, no matter how many times she offered, becuz he always proudly said, "My daughter does that. April gives the best foot massages." Weird, how staring at someone else's feet could bring back this memory.

A nurse entered at that moment clutching a syringe filled with liquid and greeted us. She informed us that she was giving John some morphine for his pain and she told us she would answer any questions we asked. The pump in his heart and leg had already been removed and the nurse was pretty optimistic that they wold be removing his respirator, without further problems. She did let us know that he had fluid in his lungs (since most patients after this type of surgery are made to get up and walk, so that fluid would not build but obviously they had not been able to do that with John) but that while it was not great, it was not life-threatening either. One thing I found out from my mom too, was that during his double bypass surgery, and after they restarted his stopped heart, they removed three blood clots as well. Thank goodness they removed them.

After the nurse left, my mom and I stood there in silence, analyzing John, lost in our own thoughts. I stared hard at every visible bruise on the inside of his arms, every toe nail on his visible feet, the top of his shiny head, and realized I'd never once stared this openly, and searchingly at this man.

"I feel better." My mom said, "--But I'll still feel more relieved once they get that tube out of his throat." I nodded and agreed. My mom suggested we leave becuz if he opened his eyes again (although highly doubtful with the morphine coursing thru his blood) that she didn't want him getting frustrated again about not being able to talk.

So...there is hope. The doctor had told my mom that John's heart was much weaker than they anticipated. But there was progress and for that, I am hopeful. And I am a big believer in positive energy and despite my nervousness, I feel like I brought some positive energy into that ICU room and passed it on to both my mom and John.

Today, I'm back at work. I have cried this morning, but that's me. I cry always. But I did laugh twice. First on the way to work, when I passed by a strip club and did a double take to see two half-naked strippers sitting by the roadside, legs crossed demurely, by a huge sign that practically shouted, FREE COFFEE!!!! I started to laugh. And honestly, I wanted to stop and get my free coffee but I would have been late for work. Then once in work, my boss showed me a form that a potential student had filled out. THe student had received a massage while on vacation in Williamsburg, VIrginia; On the form she had written "Williamsburg, Vagina". No freakin' lie. I just about died laughing.

Laughing is SO good for the soul!!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I need you guys to send some good, healing thoughts this way, please.

My mom's boyfriend, John, went into the hospital Tuesday for his scheduled double bypass surgery. John has always had heart problems for as long as I've known him and all the men in his family have died from massive heart attacks before the age of sixty. John is now sixty four. He is the one exception to the rule.

While being operated on, John's heart stopped and the doctors had to perform emergency surgery on top of it, and get his heart restarted. He is now sedated and on a respirator, among other machines, and every time they try to take him off the respirator his blood pressure plummets dangerously low. It happened right in front of his son (who is in his early twenties) scaring the shit out of him.

My mom has been pacing the floors, nervous and worried, but holding her emotions in check. I know this is exceptionally hard for her. After all, she helplessly watched her husband die six years ago and now there is the chance she could watch her boyfriend die as well. I hope it does not get to that, but she is trying to prepare herself for the worst.

I've known John for like 7+ years and while we haven't had the closest, squishiest relationship, I'd say within the past two years or so, things have changed for the better between us. Within the past two years, I've invited him to every holiday dinner and function we had as a family. Within the past two years he's warmed up some (he is a man who has a very hard, crusty exterior and it takes a lot to get through that to see the man inside) and I've seen him smile more, joke more. At my wedding, there were two moments that stand out in my head with John. The first is when I danced the Father/Daughter dance with my best friend's father, Ray. It was an extremely emotional moment for me obviously, but also for more people in attendance than I even realized. John came up to me afterwards and threw his arm around me, openly crying, and said "Your father would be so proud of you, April. That was beautiful." I remember being almost in shock to see this hard man cry. The second moment was towards the end of the night, after alcohol loosened up the lips, when John came over and hugged me and said, "I know I have never told you this before, April, but I think of you as a second daughter. Congratulations to you and Daryl. I love you and I'm proud of you!" Whoa. Of course thinking about that again brings me to tears. No matter what, I want him to come through this and be healthy and happy and be around to see his own daughter get married, see his two sons graduate from college and high school, and see my first child be born.

I had planned on him being Grandpa-John to my future kids. I still want that. I'm praying that we'll all get that chance to call him that someday.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Geez Louise my right eye lid (both upper and lower) has been twitching intermittently (sounds like car troubles) since last THURSDAY. Can someone PLEASE tell me how to make it stop??

I am not drinking any more caffeine than usual (I have one coffee a day, once in a blue moon, two coffees a day); I'm not lacking on sleep; I don't feel stressed out; I am drinking water.

What else can be causing this annoying freakin' twitch? I want to scream!!!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

I had a fantastic weekend. I left work early at four on Thursday and after getting everything ready and packed in the truck, Daryl and I hit the road for Cape Cod. We arrived around eight thirty-ish and met up with Steve, Kim and their 3 kids, and Jason, Christina and their 2 kids at the house that Steve's family owns.

Early Friday morning we were up early to coffee and then made headed out, taking Steve's two boats out on the water and into the inlet where we were going to get some beach time.
We also did some clamming and Daryl and I learned how to rake the mud for clams and steamers. It was really cool! The kids all had a blast.
Anyway, the majority of the day was spent sun-bathing, reading and relaxing for me while everyone else either boogey-boarded, built sand castles, chatted and enjoyed the beautiful weather. And I even took a quick (unexpected) dip in the ocean when Big D so kindly knocked me over. I made sure to immediately jump on his back and pull HIM down into the ocean, thereby accidentally ripping the crotch of his swim trucks. NICE.

Hours later, we all headed back towards the house (in our multiple vehicles) and Christina, myself and three of the kids (the girls aged 11-13) stopped at the grocery store to get some staples that we were lacking at the house, most importantly stuff to make ice cream sundaes with! Then once home, I took my very first OUTDOOR shower. I know no one could see me in the shower but becuz it was open on top to the sky, I just felt so exposed and....uh...NAKED. I hated it. LOL. We grilled steaks and burgers for dinner, and cooked some corn on the cob. The other adults (minus me and Christina who don't like seafood) made clams casinos and also cooked up the steamers. Everyone was completely stuffed afterwards went to bed somewhat early. Saturday morning Daryl made breakfast for all eleven of us. Scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. Then after showers, the girls and boys went our separate ways. The boys went out clamming again while the girls hit up a local flea market, Christmas Tree Shop and a tee-shirt shop. A couple of hours later, all eleven of us were back on the road. On the way to our destination we stopped at this really cool lighthouse to take some pictures.

Finally, we all headed out to P-Town for some sight-seeing, sweet treats and fun. We saw a replica of a pirate ship, endless storefronts of adorable souvenirs, and a crazy-ass yacht called Hooters IV filled with nothing but incredibly HOT, tanned, muscled gay men dressed in nothing but speedos, colorful (and short) sarongs and smiles. Not a hooter in sight. Ironic, no? Finally we headed home where most people had a late grilled dinner (I chose to go straight to my ice cream sundae) and then to bed.

Sunday morning we woke up early to donuts and coffee that Big D brought back from Dunkin Donuts. We headed out to our ten a.m. Whale Watch and proceeded to take a billion and one pictures. It was completely amazing to see this large and lithe beautiful creatures jump and dive in the water. The day was gorgeous as well with sunshine and a lovely ocean breeze. I did get sunburn on top the sunburn I already had on my nose but it was nothing super painful. I'll leave you with the last picture we took of our trip, a sun-burned but completely relaxed and happy Daryl and I. Cape Cod was heavenly.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Winding down my work week! Today is my "Friday" since I'm off from work tomorrow. WOO HOO! I just hope the day goes by quickly...unlike most Fridays that drag-ass!

Today I'm leaving work early at 4:00pm (yes, 4:00pm is "early" considering I'm normally there until 6:00pm) and I'll head home to meet up with Big D so we can get on the road by about 4:30-4:45ish. Daryl is driving us to the Cape which is about a three hour ride from here. We're already packed and I cleaned up the house and put clean sheets on the bed for Lorelei who is house/doggie-sitting for us this weekend. I just have to vacuum the living room with my fabulous new Dyson before Lorelei gets here. She is allergic to cats (and yet she still house sits for us! What a saint!) AND the last time she was here was after Daryl vacuumed seven times in one weekend (*snort*) and she didn't have any allergy attacks! God, I love that Dyson.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to a nice, stress-free weekend! The weather is (supposedly) going to be great which means lots of reading on the beach, grilling and good fun with friends. Although I'm definitely not eager to put on a bathing suit in front of polite company. Heh heh. Oh and on the whole baby-making front? I'm taking it easy this weekend. No calculations of ovulation, no testing kits, no strained baby-making booty. We're just going to enjoy ourselves and I'm not going to worry. Wish me luck on that!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

How you know you have a big 'ol rack....

...when two hours later you look down and see brownie crumbs wedged into your cleavage. TWO HOURS after making the brownies.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Oh my Lord.

I was just talking on the phone at work to a customer who was a "rambler". (That's what I call the people who ramble on and make absolutely no sense and that I have NO IDEA who to direct their call to even after there entire ramblification. And yes, that's my own made-up word.)

Anyway, I finally said, "Okay so you are inquiring about a check that you mailed to us or that we mailed to you?"

And she replied, "A check that I made out to yous."

No, that was not a typo. She really and truly said "to yous".

And I have to talk to these people?!?!??!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Morning guys and gals. It's freakin' Monday again. I swear the week feels like it lasts for 30 days and yet with the weekend I can sneeze and it's DONE.

My weekend was pretty busy but in a good way. Friday night my bestest girl, April #2 (I call her 'Mini-Me' heh heh...) came over for some girl time and cheering me up. She did a fabulous job and I ate way too much pizza. We talked for hours and made plans for the next time we would hang. We talked about life and how sometimes it can suck. And how sometimes things start to just go right (her and her hubby are both very excited to be going back to school, her for medical assistant and him for culinary school. And he is now a US Citizen! Yay! I'm so proud of them!).

Saturday morning we had a guy come to give us an estimate to pave our driveway. It was going to cost way more than we want to spend right now so even though I would love to have it done before the winter, I'm thinking we might have to wait till the spring time. So instead we went and spent a shit-load of money on a bunch of "stuff" (don't worry, I got a very generous thousand dollar gift from someone recently so it was "fun money"!!) that we have been wanting but up till this point could not afford. We went to "The Pit" at Bob's Discount Furniture. The Pit is where they sell items that were either floor models or pieces that have a scratch or tear in them. We found a chocolate brown, velvety feeling reclining love seat for...get this...only $299! Then after that we headed to Best Buy where I found my one true love (sorry Big D, I mean my second true love). Can you really you be in love with a vacuum? A vacuum that was on sale for a hundred bucks cheaper than usual? And not just any vacuum but THE vacuum. I may have to vie for Dyson's affections from Big D. He has now vacuumed the living carpet seven times. Since Saturday. And then immediately steam cleaned the carpet. And then vacuumed again. It's become an obsession. Anyway, Saturday we were supposed to be going to a picnic for Daryl's dad's family but I had cramps and was not feeling it. So we vegged for a couple of hours before our evening plans. We went to dinner with Joe and Erin and I had a very yummy summery-tasting sangria. Then we saw The Pineapple Express at the movies. It was a fun, stress-relieving night and I enjoyed it immensely!

Sunday we got up around eight, got some Starbucks and then off to grocery shop at our favorite warehouse store, BJ's. Then it was on to pick up the love seat. Yippy!! I LOVE IT! And I'm so psyched to have enough seating for when we have company over instead of me and Big D usually having to sit on the floor. Saturday night my cell phone broke so Sunday we had to go and spend MORE money (are we sensing a pattern here?) and I got my new phone, a Blackberry Curve. So far, I like it, but I hate the process of getting used to a new phone all over again. Daryl made deliciously yummy homemade bacon cheeseburgers for dinner for us, my mom and Lorelei. Our company stayed an hour or two then left. big D and I got some ice cream afterwards (yes, i comfort-ate this weekend) when I started feeling down and teary for the first time all weekend. I finally turned in around 11:30-ish p.m. and had a nice sleep-filled evening.

And this picture has absolutely nothing to do with my weekend but I just love is my Bailey.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Today is way better than yesterday.

While I still have (very) mild cramps and I'm still (extremely) disappointed, my recently crushed spirit seems to have gotten a little bit of a recharge this afternoon.

I've got two shots of espresso (from an iced caramel macchiatto. The Starbucks barista must have seen the forlorn look on my face cuz she offered me a free shot of espresso in my drink!) coursing eagerly through my system, deliciously pretty hot pink toenails from my self-care pedicure a few minutes ago, plans with my bestest girly, April #2, to hang out tonight while Big D is working and we will chil, bitch about life and eat pizza to our heart's content...AND an appointment with my favorite massage therapist, my good friend Sarah, next week.

I'm making it ALL about self-care and happiness and healthiness from here on out. I can't guarantee that I won't have my moments of "poor me" and "why??" in the future but I hope to make them less and less. I have to start taking better care of myself. And by taking care of myself I mean my body, mind and spirit. Not just my body. The body is the "easy" part.

Thank you all so, so much for your fabulous and much-needed words of wisdom. You have no idea how much they have helped to boost my mood today. (along with this kick-ass pedicure)

Tonight I plan on giving Big D a couple of extra squeezes for his sweet and caring self the past few nights. Just a look from his understanding warm brown eyes has been enough sometimes, and yet he's given me so much more than that, even though he too was disappointed with the turn of events. He's made it all about me the past two nights, about what I want to eat for dinner, what I want to watch on the's those simple things...but they helped make it so much more bearable and I'm grateful for that! Being loved totally rocks.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I was thinking I might have good news to share with you all today.

I was hoping I might have good news to share with you all today.

I was wrong.

My period was two days late as of yesterday. I've never had a late period before.

I tried to not get swept away on that wave of hopefulness, despite the fact that I felt "different". Didn't have my usual period-symptoms. I was so bloated and gassy, in a way I have never felt before, for at least 3-4 days straight. Everything I ate disagreed with me and I burped it back up. I had a horrible 2-day long head ache. My boobs felt huge and heavy. I was physically exhausted, even after a full night of sleep. I was having, for lack of a better word, almost "hot flashes" where I would start to sweat profusely no matter if I was sitting in front of an a/c unit blowing full force.

Last night I was on the phone with my Mom, around 9:25 p.m., when I started to feel funny. I ran to the bathroom to pee and when I wiped, I cried out "Oh no, I'm bleeding!" I hung up with my mom and stared down at that slightly pink tissue paper and just said, "No."

Until that moment, I didn't realize just how much I had hoped for this. I didn't realize just how broken I would feel, how empty. I couldn't cry.

I've been up on and off practically the entire night with the most painful cramps I've had in years. Cramps that lasted all night, as the bleeding slowly picked up in pace. It was a lot slower than my regular periods flow in the first day and brighter. And I can't say enough how painful my cramps were. And yet I couldn't cry.

Until this morning. Laying in bed next to Daryl who was trying to make me feel better, make me laugh, make me feel.

I know this isn't the end. I'm know I can "try again" and that "it will happen eventually". But first I just need to get over the loss of what might have been.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


I got up to pee around 4:40ish this morning...and afterwards I could not fall back asleep at all. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, eyes wide open, unable to summon back my sleepy feelings.

I stayed that way for another 45 minutes until Big D's alarm went off at 5:30am. He sleepily turned it off and then fell back into his Zzzz's. I laid there, awake, some more. Finally, blissfully, I started to drift back off. Only to be so rudely awoken (what felt like mere moments later) by my own damn alarm clock. Misery.

So between the sleepiness, and some other "stuff" that is cluttering up my brain, I am finding it almost impossible to focus on work. Is anyone else working hard today?Or hardly working?

Monday, August 11, 2008

Okay, peeps, I jumped on this whole Twittering bandwagon.

I remember Michele and possibly Dawn had sent me links WAY long ago and I thought "Ack! Something else to keep up with?" And quickly deleted the post. But now that I can't go online as much anymore, I figured I can at least keep in the loop through twitter, baby. Finding ways around the system, heh heh!! So check me out on my side bar!! :-)

Anyway, it's dark, rainy and gloomy here on a Monday. I'm bloated as all get out. I feel like a great big gassy balloon that's about to float away. Ugh.

Can someone spare some Bean-o? Or Gas-x, perhaps? I'm desperate over here.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

It totally sucks that the weekend is coming to a close already.

I just wanna throw a tantrum. Is that juvenile of me? Sorry.

My weekend was pretty decent. I had a fun time at Keri's on Friday night with her, her hubby, Michele and a couple that Keri and her hubby are friends with. We watched the opening of the Olymipcs and had lots of junk food, and pizza and wine and then my fabulously delicious Death by Chocolate. Poor Big D was working overtime so he never made it to Keri's house. He ended up getting home about the same time I did, at midnight. Saturday we got up around nine thirty, which was heavenly, and then decided to go browse some camper places. We grabbed some iced coffee and went to our first stop, a camper place about fifteen minutes from home. First of all, I felt like a juicy steak that was being eyeballed by a shark. Those people want the SALE, man. We explained that we had NO INTENTION of buying yet, we were just looking and doing some homework. Our plan is to buy the camper in the spring. The salesman was like, "Oh no, you'll be buying one today." Um, no asshole, we won't. And then once we drilled it through their heads that we really weren't ready to purchase yet, that we just had some questions about different options, the salesman couldn't answer any questions and basically abandoned us.

Our next stop was a camper place that is actually in Mass. It was a huge place! And the salesman was awesome. He was a friendly, helpful and very sweet man (who, until he mentioned a "wife" I seriously considered trying to hook him up on a date with my mom! LOL) who showed us everything we wanted to see, including stuff we never could have afforded but that I wanted to see anyway. Cuz I'm nosey. "You can always dream!" He told us with a smile. Some of these motor coaches were nicer than my HOUSE. It was insane! We're talking master bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms, islands in the kitchen, cherry wood cabinetry, leather couches and chairs, corian (sp?) countertops, the works! It was crazy, but I had a blast fantasizing! And we also got more food for thought about what we could afford and what we wanted. Anyway, after our window shopping, we headed home to get ready for our dinner out with Joe and Erin. We enjoyed our margaritas and dinner (I had super yummy fajita quesadillas) and then stopped for Starbucks afterwards. It was fun and relaxing.

Today, Big D and I went out to breakfast, where supposedly some dude was checking my fat self out while we waited for our waitress to put down silverware and napkins on our table (I was completely obvlious of course, cuz I hadn't even showered and had no makeup on and certainly didn't think I looked halfway attractive...maybe it was my big rack that caught his attention) and Big D made sure to give him some dirty looks. Then we ran out and saw a few more campers, then headed home to veg out. My mom came over for a visit for a few hours and we watched the Jaws marathon on t.v. Anyway, now I'm sitting here feeling cranky about going to work tomorrow. Trying to distract myself though. I want to enjoy the rest of my Sunday and not think about WORK yet!!

Friday, August 08, 2008

I seem to be having a trend lately of totally yucky Fridays.

Last night Big D and I got into a HUUUUUUGE argument (i.e. yelling match) that stemmed from a misunderstanding AND the fact that men and women totally "hear" different things...even if it's the same statement. Sometimes I wonder if we are speaking a foreign language between men and women! Grrrrrrr....

So this morning I went to work really down and grumpy and then pepole at work started to irritate me and the anxiety began. Then two clients reamed me out on the phone (unfairly I might add) and for like the fourth time that moring, I started crying. Decided the best move for me would be to take the rest of the day off as a sort of "mental health" day. Heh.

So I came home, washed dishes, did some laundry and had tacos for lunch. Nothing makes you feel better than delicious food! :-) Then Big D and I "made up" which was a huge weight off of my shoulders. I do not like fighting with him nor do I like unresolved eats away at me.

Anway, looking forward to later. Going over to Keri's tonight for junk food (I made my yummy Death by Chocolate and used peanut butter cups instead of heath bar this time.) and the Olympics. That silly girl loves her Olympics!! LOL

Tomorow Big D and I are going to look at pop-up campers. We're not ready to buy one yet but I love to window-shop so off we will go. In the evening we're meeting up with Joe and Erin for dinner. We don't see them much more than once maybe every four or five months or so, so we love to spend time with them! What are YOUR plans this weekend? Anything fun going on??

p.s. crazy weather going on! It was just hailing (like dime-sized hail) then switched over to hard, slanting rain and wind. I was nervously eyeing the power lines that lead to my house, but now the winds have died down and it's thunder and lightening up a storm. (no pun intended). And weirdly enough, the rain is slowing down and the sky is brightening up already. Weird!

Thursday, August 07, 2008


Don't read this post if you have not yet read the last book in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn.

I'm giving you ample warning!!! Julie, that means you. Ha! (by the way, Julie, I can lend you all the books in the series if you want, so that you don't have to go out and buy them? Let me know and I'll get them to Michele to give to you.)

Anyway, what did you think of the book, if you have finished it?

For the most part I thoroughly enjoyed it! I have to admit though, at first, I was totally pissed off that Bella became a vampire. I know, I know, that has been almost promised from the start of her and Edward's relationship. However, part of me was holding out hope, despite what all the characters said, that she would change her mind. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was necessary and I like the fact that because of that, it made this vampire series different. Most of the other series I've read, the human girl does not become immortal.

I also found the ending of the book to be slightly anti-climactic. While it was a relief that none of my favorite characters were killed off by the Volturi, I was also left thinking, "Hmmm, that's it?" The fact that they were able to pretty much "talk" their way out of it, with Bella's help, seemed almost the easy way out. I think there should have been some type of battle at least, even if it was on a smaller scale. Instead of the Volturi running like scared bitches. Anyway, other than that, I still freakin' LOVED it. I will definitely reread this series again at a later date (if I love a book, I won't hesitate to reread it down the road...)

Now, about the upcoming movie, Twilight-- my girl Mrs. Kitty brought up the movie in her last post. And it got me thinking. While most of us are super excited to watch it, I think we're all not holding out hope that it will be a blockbuster hit. I personally do not care for almost any of the actors who they chose for each character....except for Edward. Most people have complained about the actor cast as Edward saying he is not good looking enough, not big enough, too slight, not "immortal-looking" enough. However I think he is perfect. His smooth skin, his pretty face, his perfectly coiffed hair...and his build fits exactly how I pictured Edward. Not as tall as Jasper, or as jacked up as Emmett. I think they did a good job with "creating", in him, the face of Edward. Robert Pattinson, the character who is playing Edward, was also Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and if you look back at that character he portrayed, a normal looking boy, and then back to him as Edward, you can see the progression of him becoming a vampire.

Now onto Bella...I am NOT thrilled in the least with the actress portraying her character. First of all, her acting (from what I've seen on the trailer) seems very cheesy and forced. I could not feel anything between them, nothing as powerful as her feelings are portrayed in the book. Her appearancea? Well to me she seems way too..."gangly" to be Bella, her voice too deep, and not pretty enough. As well as all the Cullen's do NOT seem pretty enough to me, to be immortal. I really hope that my fears are all proved wrong. I WANT to enjoy the movie. I WANT to love it. I am keeping my fingers (and toes!) crosswed that it proves all of us wrong!

What do you think???

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Well, I'm finally checking in on the 'ol blog world. Sorry for my horribly depressing last post. When I go back and reread stuff like that I'm all like, "Eww! Keep that shit up and no one is gonna read your blog anymore!"

Today was better than yesterday. While I'm still not happy with some changes going on at my job, I am a little less stressed out. Slowly making it through the mountain of paperwork required by the new company.

Not much else new going on in my life right now. You could say that its been pretty damn boring! I did go shopping with 'Chele last Saturday and that was fun. I bought my copy of Breaking Dawn (which I'm now finished with...let me know if anyone wants to chat about it! I'm curious to see what every one's thoughts are!) and also a couple of tee's from Old Navy that were on sale for eight bucks each. The rest of the weekend was pretty tame because Big D was on call so we couldn't' really go anywhere. Watched a lot of tv, and on Sunday stayed in my pj's all day, under a blanket, reading. Loved it. Let's see, what else? I ordered my bridesmaid dress. It's cute. Short (tea length), strapless and it's in a spice-orange color (deep, don't picture bright orange) with mocha trim. It's perfect for Autumn (this is an October wedding). Also we are already planning the shower. I can't meet up with the other girls this weekend (they just asked me today if I could meet this weekend) cuz I already have plans but I told the MOH to keep in contact with me so I can help out any way i can.

Oh! Good news, I lost four pounds! But granted it's four pounds from the disgusting ten pounds I have packed on within the last six months or so. Major ugh. But I'm not going to complain. I just need to keep up the momentum!!!

P.S. Big D and I have been talking about buying a pop-up camper (used) and I'm SO excited at the idea! I love camping and I think a pop-up camper would make it even more convenient (to bring the dogs). Plus it will be a cheaper vacation (since we're totally po'). I'll keep you posted!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Can't talk much and don't have much to say anyway.

Not sure if I should even be online. New bosses had us in meeting today to tell us how everything was not changing right now. Which means everything WILL change down the road.

And had to fill out like four inch-high stack of paperwork. No exaggeration. Then I started to feel like I was going to cry (damn PMS gets me every time...turns me into a pile of human mush)buried amidst a pile of W-4, direct deposit, benefits forms blah blah myself and another coworker drowned our sorrows in fast food. Now I'm bloated and uncomfortable from all the salt. And still on the verge of tears.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Cat Scratch Fever, baby!!

Or, not.

Seriously, last night while I was watching So You Think You Can Dance with my mother, it suddenly dawned on me that my hand had been hurting for like the past thirty minutes or so. I sort of just shrugged it off--since the biting-incident had happened that morning and I figured it was bound to hurt eventually. It didn't really dawn on me to think that it should not have taken 12 hours for the pain to kick in. Duh.--and I iced it before bed to bring down the swelling.

Cut to today...I get ready for work all the while feeling a dull throbbing pain in my hand. I took the dogs out and then clapped my hands to get their attention when they were done and immediately thought, "Ouch! That hurts!" Even though I obviously clapped my palms together it radiated to the pain in the top of my hand. I looked down at what was now a reddened, inflamed and hot circle of skin surrounding one of the puncture points. Hmmmm...interesting. So I iced it and again once I was at work. Surprisingly, the swelling did not go down nor did the redness fade. Even after popping some Advil.

I started to joke around with coworkers about my Cat Scratch Fever to which most, if not all, looked down at my hand, winced and said "Oooh, you better keep an eye on that. It doesn't look good." Since I've never been bitten by a cat before (I mean, bitten hard enough to pierce skin...I've only had that happen once with a dog) I didn't really think much of it...but then I hopped online and realized JUST HOW MUCH BACTERIA a cat can "inject" into you with their long pointed teeth. And considering I'm trying to make a baby, random dirty-kitty-cat-mouth-bacteria floating around in my body so generously donated by Bailey is probably not a good thing! I ran to the Walk-In Clinic today at lunch and got a prescription for Amoxcyllin from the very sweet little man doctor (little was the operative word...I towered over this guy) and even though I felt totally silly for going to the doctor for a freakin' CAT bite he reassured me that it was the right, smart thing to do considering three weeks down the road I could start showing symptoms from an infection. So I'm gonna start popping my antibiotics tonight and banish my Cat Scratch Fever, baby!

Anyway, in other news, I know I only touched upon this two posts ago, but my company was purchased by a large corporation this week. As of Monday, life at my work will change as we know it (and as some have known it for the last 28 years). I think it's fair to say that some people are worried about their jobs and on a lesser front worried about how day to day life here will change. I was a little scared at first, I admit, but since then I feel like I've come to a dawning realization. While I've had my issues working here, this company as a whole has been super supportive and often times very comforting. I am not necessarily scared of leaving (or staying for that matter)--it's more the idea itself of change that scares me. If my path is not meant to continue on here, I know this will just be a stepping stone in the journey that is my crazy life. I accept that. I cherish the experiences I've had, the people I've met along the way, the incredible evolvement (is that a word? I think I just made up a word.) of ME as a person. And I will forever be thankful for that. Life is full of changes. We can only take what we can from them, and continue on to the next phase.
PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

This Photostory Friday will be about one of my good friends...someone I am so proud of. My best friend April's husband, Agustin, will be sworn in today as a U.S. Citizen!

Agustin has come so far. He came to this country about eight years ago (give or take), looking to earn better money then he was making back in his own country, Argentina. He had a mother back home that he was supporting and the mere pittance he made in Argentina would never be enough to get ahead.

When he arrived in America he spoke not a speck of English. He got jobs, with the help of his work visa, doing anything he could make money at: washing dishes in a night club, construction, painting. He slowly began to teach himself English with the help of simple television programs which he watched when he could. Eventually he took an English class. When I first was introduced to him, he barely spoke English and his accent was very strong. He was a handsome, young man (he is about six years younger than myself and friend April) trying to make friends, with his huge, friendly smile, and make his way in a new country. April #2 had only recently just met him herself. When they started dating we used to giggle together about her conversations with Auggie, how despite his limited vocabulary, they made it work and communicated with each other.

Three months later, April announced to me that her and Auggie were engaged. I was surprised to say the least, but knew that April was smart enough to make her own decisions and I supported her. they were married in a small ceremony at the Justice of the Peace's home, then we had dinner at a local restaurant...their love, despite it's newness, was so refreshing, so new, so real. I was extremely happy for my friend. I have known Auggie for six years now and Daryl has known him for about three, and we know how hard of a worker he is (he has his own business!), how much of a family man he is and how good of a husband he is to my friend, April...and Daryl and I are so proud to call him our friend.

Here we are now, after six years of marriage for April and Auggie, and today is another big, monumental day in his life, getting sworn in as a U.S. Citizen. I'm so happy for his success!