I need you guys to send some good, healing thoughts this way, please.
My mom's boyfriend, John, went into the hospital Tuesday for his scheduled double bypass surgery. John has always had heart problems for as long as I've known him and all the men in his family have died from massive heart attacks before the age of sixty. John is now sixty four. He is the one exception to the rule.
While being operated on, John's heart stopped and the doctors had to perform emergency surgery on top of it, and get his heart restarted. He is now sedated and on a respirator, among other machines, and every time they try to take him off the respirator his blood pressure plummets dangerously low. It happened right in front of his son (who is in his early twenties) scaring the shit out of him.
My mom has been pacing the floors, nervous and worried, but holding her emotions in check. I know this is exceptionally hard for her. After all, she helplessly watched her husband die six years ago and now there is the chance she could watch her boyfriend die as well. I hope it does not get to that, but she is trying to prepare herself for the worst.
I've known John for like 7+ years and while we haven't had the closest, squishiest relationship, I'd say within the past two years or so, things have changed for the better between us. Within the past two years, I've invited him to every holiday dinner and function we had as a family. Within the past two years he's warmed up some (he is a man who has a very hard, crusty exterior and it takes a lot to get through that to see the man inside) and I've seen him smile more, joke more. At my wedding, there were two moments that stand out in my head with John. The first is when I danced the Father/Daughter dance with my best friend's father, Ray. It was an extremely emotional moment for me obviously, but also for more people in attendance than I even realized. John came up to me afterwards and threw his arm around me, openly crying, and said "Your father would be so proud of you, April. That was beautiful." I remember being almost in shock to see this hard man cry. The second moment was towards the end of the night, after alcohol loosened up the lips, when John came over and hugged me and said, "I know I have never told you this before, April, but I think of you as a second daughter. Congratulations to you and Daryl. I love you and I'm proud of you!" Whoa. Of course thinking about that again brings me to tears. No matter what, I want him to come through this and be healthy and happy and be around to see his own daughter get married, see his two sons graduate from college and high school, and see my first child be born.
I had planned on him being Grandpa-John to my future kids. I still want that. I'm praying that we'll all get that chance to call him that someday.