I tried to kill my husband last night.
Accidentally, of course. Geez, people, what kind of a wife do you think I am??
But I'll tell you this. I feel like a total shithead. I have been craving ALL the foods, lately, that we've either cut way back on or stopped eating completely since Daryl was diagnosed with diabetes. And of course there is still so much we don't know yet about what is okay to eat, and in what increments, so it's a constant learning process. We learn as we go.
And last night, all I wanted was mashed potatoes. Carbs. Yummy, homemade, creamy mashed potatoes. I know mashed potatoes is a weakness for both myself and Big D and I thought I didn't make too much. Of course, my eyes are horrible at gauging correct portions when I'm cooking. And I made too much. I was smart though and immediately packed away leftovers in tupperware containers for me to have with lunch during the week at work (I made goulash--with ground turkey, not beef--over mashed potatoes). However I still doled out too much mashed potatoes to Daryl. His "old portion" size before being told to cut way, WAY back on carbohydrates.
And then after dinner, he was still hungry. I had made fruit salad (grapes, watermelon, blueberries and strawberries mixed together) for snacks/dessert for the week, and even though I know there is sugar in fruit, we figured, 'Hey, it's all about portion size.' so I only put it in a small dish, maybe like a cup's worth? And he also had an apple. As he was eating that apple, I started to feel bad. Like, Oh shit, I think we screwed up. But I just attributed it to my knack of over-reacting to things. Hell, it's fruit, and some mashed potatoes, what can it hurt?
Out came the blood glucose tester and from the prick of his finger to the actual testing, I didn't have a good feeling. And then when Daryl said, "Uh oh." I knew it wasn't a good reading.
He felt crappy for a bit after that--slight stomach ache and no energy--and he laid down on the couch and fell asleep. I silently kicked myself and berated myself. I should know better! I'm the one who has always "eaten healthier" and tried to get us both to lose weight before and make proper food choices! And now here he has to do it for his HEALTH and I'm giving him crappy options! I know he is his own person,a grownup, and will eat what he wants to eat, but I still felt responsible. Daryl trusts my judgement and I feel like I steered him wrong! I didn't do a very good job of looking out for him last night. :-(
I learned my lesson. And so did he.
The Food Nazi is in town. Look out!
And please, for any diabetics out there (or anyone watching their sugar and carb-intake) can you PLEASE give us some ideas? What is good for him to snack on? To have as "dessert"? What can he have for breakfast besides eggs? I'm feeling overwhelmed and confused!