Thursday, October 30, 2008

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

It's pumpkin-carving time again!! Here the doggies wait patiently for any pumpkin seeds to get accidentally flung onto the floor...
Daryl saved ALL the pumpkin seeds so that we can throw them in our compost heap (and maybe grow some pumpkins of our own next year!) Tucker said, "Come ON Dad, hurry up with the carving!"


I was very busy contemplating, then drawing, my pumpkin's faces!
Yes, we have a Devil-Dog (ignore Mister Grumpy-Pants in the background. He didn't realize he would be in the picture too!)

I am a prima-donna. I don't like to get my hands dirty. So, sue me.
This is what we call a Daisy-Bug!


This poor guy had an accident...or an enemy...not sure which!
Big D, the master pumpkin-carver.
Mid-way through, we found out Tucker has a strange obsession with pumpkin seeds. Munch, munch, munch! Do you see the half-chewed seeds near him???One of the almost-finished products!

Look, I never said we were pros. Heh.


(And, just in time for Halloween, here is a short little diddy I wrote a couple of years ago. It's not spooky in the least! Read on...Happy Halloween!)

Seasons of Change
by: Me
As the morning sun crests the horizon, an invigorating, familiar scent tickle’s the cool air. It’s a comforting smell, and one I look forward to every single year. It always manages to put a—sometimes big, often times spiky— grin on my smooth, golden skin.

The scent of burning leaves is stronger now, and from two houses down, I can see the trail of curling smoke climb hazily to greet the sky. I yawn and blink the sleep from my blurry eyes. My eyes are large and round, like shiny half-dollars, and the pupils are a swirly sapphire. I can feel the warming rays start to bathe me with radiance and I’m so elated, yet again, to be alive.

Suddenly, from behind, I hear the creak and subsequent groan of the old screen door and quick, impatient footsteps clomp hurriedly down the steps.

Jackie—” A voice squeals excitedly. “—good morning to you!”

“Slow down, you silly girl!” I jovially reproach her. “Before you come tumbling down the steps and hurt yourself!” Rachel appears before me, giggling. Her smooth blond tresses are upended into perfect pigtails tied with ruby colored ribbons. She’s dressed warmly in denim overalls and a red long sleeved tee shirt. In her hands, she’s clutching a knapsack covered with the smiling, plastic grin of Barbie.

"You’re such a worrywart, Jackie.”

“I only worry about you, kid. After all, where would I be without you? Rotting away somewhere, unloved and uncared for?”

“That will never happen!” She declares vehemently, her face darkening slightly with the swiftness of a cloud passing the sun. “I promise to always take care of you.”

I sigh sadly, despite a wide, toothy grin. “I know you say that now, kid, but you’ll grow up someday and forget all about me.” As she shakes her head, twin pigtails bob and swish like horsetails around her flushed face.

“Cross my heart and hope to die. Even when I grow up, Jackie, I’ll always take care of you.” She bends over slightly, reaches out one soft, smooth-skinned hand and runs it down my rounded cheek. I feel an unfamiliar wetness building beneath my lids and I quickly blink it away lest she see.

“Come on, let’s get on with it! I’m ready for our field trip!” I cry, forcing enthusiasm back into my voice. Rachel envelops me in a small-child bear hug, wrapping her plump arms around me, and straightens up. Despite my weight, she seems not to struggle.

“Wow, either I weigh less every year, or you’re developing some muscles, Kid!”

“Hey, I’m ten years old now, Jackie! I get stronger every year.” She smiles proudly and even though my eyesight is only level with her neck, I can feel the up-curve of her lips against the top of my head.

“Ten years old. My, my, where has the time gone?” There is the gentle tug of gravity whooshing through my middle as she ceremoniously plops me into the basket hanging from the front of her purple bicycle. Rachel has generously faced me outwards, so that I can sightsee along the way. I am grateful to her for that. Long purple and white plastic streamers trail from the handlebars, and as she begins to pump her short legs, the wind whispers through them with a soft thwicking sound.

“Ah, I do love an early morning bike ride.” I think happily to myself. The birds are singing to us as we pass and it’s sweet, melodic. It’s a sound I’d only heard wistfully in my dreams for the past ten months or so.

“We’ll be at the fair in no time, Jackie. I can’t wait! I think we’re gonna win this year, for sure.” Rachel shouts over the sound of the wind rushing in her ears. She’s moving so fast down the blacktop that I almost expect us to lift off and start flying. I feel like ET on the soaring bicycle. It’s a thrilling thought.

“How’s our competition this year, kid?”

“Horrible! Wait till you see! You have the most handsome smile around, Jackie. If we don’t win this year, I’ll know that the Bailey twin’s parents have this competition rigged!” I laugh softly, and Rachel doesn’t hear the sound. She’s too busy hearing the nonexistent echoing in her ear of a voice in a microphone, ‘Number 34, Rachel Palomino, first place!'

Over the rim of the basket I can see men stooping outside front walks to pick up their morning newspapers, dogs trotting happily through the grass damp with morning dew, children on bicycles or tossing baseballs and enjoying the cool Autumn Saturday morning. “Here we are, Jackie! Look, look!” The fairgrounds are a mass of color and sound and delicious smells. It’s overwhelming and nerve-wracking and intoxicating, all at the same time. There is a large, yellow canvas tent set up and around the tent is a smattering of food concessions, game booths, and picnic tables. Further back is a Ferris wheel, a Scrambler, and a couple other new rides that I don’t recall from last year. Fair-employees are swarming around like worker ants, setting up, straightening, and readying their wares for the rush of the crowds. Already, people are lined up at the ticket booths, eager to get in.

Rachel rides her bicycle around the throng of people and sidles up to the fence that keeps people from entering without proper payment. There is an opening in one section of fence and a security guard stands there, large beefy arms crossed over his chest. He surveys the mass of people, as if waiting expectantly for something or someone.

“Sir?” Rachel pipes up. I strain my eyes, not moving my body, to see her over my right shoulder.

“We need to get in. Jackie and I are in the competition going on in the big tent in thirty minutes.” She flashes a piece of paper that she has pulled out her pocket. The man looks at it quickly, then down at me in the basket, and smiles.

“Go on in, little lady. And good luck!” He winks at her and she grins in return, pedaling through the opening in the fence. The distinct odor of cow manure assaults her nostrils and she wrinkles her nose in distaste. “A smell that only someone who is ONE with nature could love.” I tell her, glancing back at her, and laugh. She rolls her eyes but continues to pedal on until we’re inside of the main tent. There are tables and booths set up all over but Rachel squints in consternation as she quickly reads down a listing of what is going on at each booth or table.

“Jackie, Table 12! That’s where we go!” The tires of her bicycle crunch loudly over the wood chip flooring and people dodge out of the way, waving angry fists.

“Hey, Kid, I don’t think you’re supposed to ride your bike in here.” I mention to her as I take in the hustle and bustle going on around us. I hear her giggle mischievously behind me.

“Too late, Jackie, my boy!” She replies and brakes so suddenly I feel the weight of gravity pulling my body forward until my face is smooshed into the inside of the basket.

“Look, Jackie, would you look at our competition?” Rachel squeals softly near my ear. She is bending down, so close I can feel her breath, warm and smelling of peaches.

“Kid, I’d love to look..maybe a little assistance?” She gingerly lifts me from the basket and it’s like an explosion of sound and an orange glow emanating all around me.

“Wow.” I whisper. “There are a lot more entries this year.” Almost as if she did not hear, Rachel places me gently onto the black foil tablecloth-covered table amid a smattering of silver confetti shaped like bats and witches and ghosts made of lollipops covered with tissue and tied with strings. There is a small folded piece of cardboard with the number 34 printed gaily in green magic marker, followed by Rachel’s full name and age.
“I made you a hat.” She opens up her Barbie knapsack and pulls out what looks like crushed black construction paper. She fingers the creases and folds and displays the white “buckle” she’d glued on to the front.
“This is fabulous! I’m a Pilgrim—” I smile as she plops the construction paper hat upon my head with a triumphant exhale of breath.
“—with your Thanksgiving feast!” She exclaims and pulls a paper plate from her bag. She has certainly colored, with her stubby fingers and bright crayons, a feast for champions on that paper plate. There is the turkey, which closely resembles a large brown pencil eraser, a round orange-tinted ball of what appears to be mashed yams, and tiny, yellow circles that I assume are corn niblets. She proudly places the plate beside me.
“You are definitely the most creative, Kid.”
“You think so, Jackie?”
“I do. I’m proud of you.” The hands on the clock travel slowly around the face as multiple judges with clipboards pass by our table. I feel like an intensely scrutinized bug under a monstrous telescope lens. Rachel starts to fidget behind me. She is humming the Star Spangled Banner off-key. Around us, children giggle and play hopscotch, adults murmur about grocery shopping and leaf raking left to do for the day.
Carried in on a spicy current of autumn air is the scent of fresh made apple fritters and the sticky sweetness of cotton candy. It feels like hours have gone by before there is finally heard a metallic-y tapping into a microphone followed by a patient throat clearing.
“It’s time!” Rachel breathes excitedly above my head.
“Good afternoon, everyone! And welcome to the Sunnybrooks Annual Pumpkin-Decorating Contest!” Rachel leans over the table and looks hard at me, squinting her eyes just a bit. She scrutinizes me, and it’s almost as if she’s forgotten I’m a pumpkin.
“We’re gonna win this, Jackie. You and me. I can feel it.” I suddenly feel weary. Seeing her child-like grin and innocent blue eyes before me seems to take its toll. We go through the same process every year—and every year—the same ache afterwards. Whether we win or lose the competition (and the closest we’d ever come to winning was 3rd Runner Up two years ago), it’s as if the light bulb brightens in Rachel’s head after the announcement, and she abruptly remembers how the Fall will end for us. I wish I could prolong this moment, hold steadfastly to this innocence and bottle it up, not just for Rachel but for myself.
Seeing the sadness that skitters across her vision, when the first mottled blemish appears on my bright orange skin at the end of every fall season, is enough to make me wish I could cry real tears with her. It will be a long year ahead of us.
“And the First Place winner of the 2006 Annual Pumpkin-Decorating Contest is…Rachel Palomino with #34, Jackie!” Applause rains down like the tinkling of bells and for a moment, I am confused. First place winner?
“Oh my gosh, Jackie! We did it! I knew they couldn’t pass by your smile this year! I just knew it!” Rachel cries ecstatically, planting a kiss on my cool, firm cheek. I feel as if the breath has been stolen from me and a moment passes before a warm, golden glow seems to fill me up from within.
“You did it, Kid! This was all your handy work! Congratulations!” Children and adults alike are congratulating Rachel and for a moment she is lost in the glow of her victory.
I watch her, a loving smile across my broad face, as I envision the beautiful woman she will become. My smile is also bittersweet, for where will Rachel’s growing up leave me? My “home” in her backyard, the pumpkin patch along the back of the property, along a white picket fence—it beckons forlornly to me.
“Jackie, let’s go home! I wanna show you off to everyone!” Small, warm hands lift me up and place me carefully, lovingly, into a wire basket on a bicycle. A first place ribbon is attached to my forefront and I puff up with pride.
That pumpkin patch beckons to me.
But I’m not ready. Not yet.

Another day....ANOTHER DAY.

*SIGH*


Is it Friday yet, people? This has been one of THE longest weeks ever. I'm mentally, emotionally and physically tired. And my cold is almost (but not fully) gone yet...I've become at ONE with the tissue. I might actually buy STOCK in Kleenex.


Anyway, nothing new to report really. We were supposed to go to Christopher's wake tonight but the other night when Daryl's friend Steve called him (Christopher's uncle), he said there might not be any services because the family is in a bad, bad way (obviously) and could not handle it. We found out there will be a simple memorial service for him tonight in Springfield, Mass so we might go. It depends on how we both feel tonight becuz you are talking at least a forty minute drive each way. I have to be honest and admit to you guys, too, that part of me is so incredibly relieved I don't have to go to an eight year old's wake. I was feeling really anxious about that earlier in the week, seeing this small little coffin, knowing a little boy was inside. It scared the hell out of me. But I also wanted to show my support to Steve and his family AND I didn't want Big D to have to go alone, so I was gonna do it no matter how upsetting the thought was. So now that I know I won't have to, I feel like I can take a deep relieved breath.


Later on tonight, Big D and I are going to sit down to some normalcy. We are going to get a pizza (that ALWAYS cheers me up. I'm a pizza-whore) and carve our two gigantic pumpkins! I want some kick-ass Jack-O-Lanterns on my front porch tomorrow night. In other news, there is FIFTEEN BUCKS worth of Halloween candy sitting on my kitchen table, unopened. (I'm not a freak for candy, we will actually go through all of that with Trick or Treaters tomorrow!) The fact that it is unopened, I am PMS'ing, and it's been sitting there two nights since I bought it? Completely A-MAZING. Let's see if it makes it till tomorrow night. Mmmmm...all my favorites: peanut butter cups, Kit Kats, Skittles (my favorite PMS candy!) and Starburst.
And on that note, I leave you with last year's sweet little Jack-O-Lantern. Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Note to Self:

When you are having an emotional, stressful, "Am I going crazy?!" (and yes, today was no better than yesterday...I burst into tears today double the amount of times yesterday) kind of day...here is the following successful formula of self medication:

1. Anxiety Pill-which makes you feel sleepy and woozy, and too tired to cry
2. 3 chocolates (preferably peanut butter cups or kit kats)-which causes you to get a little more energy in you from the sugar
3. A relaxation massage where you tell the therapist, "If I burst into tears, please do not take it personally."-which simultaneously relaxes the shiznet out of you but then makes you feel alive for the first time all day
4. A grande Nonfat Pumpkin Spice Latte, no whipped please-which not only pleases your taste buds, but perks you up at the same time
5. Wine, baby, wine at a friend's house-which will then mellow me out in a good, pleasant way and insure that yes, I will be able to sleep tonight.

Crazy Lady has been deactivated.

Mission accomplished.

Monday, October 27, 2008

I am a total, blubbering, mess of a disaster today.

And it's only three thirty? I gotta keep it together for two and a half more hours?

First and foremost, Daryl called me at work this morning and told me some very serious news, about our good friend Steve. This article below is about his EIGHT YEAR OLD nephew, Christopher.

http://news.aol.com/article/boy-8-killed-in-gun-show-accident/226339

I'm so saddened and feel so nauseous over this horrible loss. I did not know his nephew, but Steve s is a great friend and I can empathise with his loss. I can't stop reading this article, and sticking in the face of MY eight year old cousin, AJ, and following it with the thought, "Oh my God, how would my family go on if this tragedy had happened to us???" I have no problems with children being taught proper gun handling and safety by their parents and trainers...however...I just want to f*cking scream out loud and ask that trainer, why, oh why, was an eight year old allowed to handle a semi-automatic rifle...a gun that Daryl informed some grown MEN can not even fully control???? I will never, ever blame the father in a situation like this...I can't even read the stupid comments on the bottom from horrible, senseless AOL users...I'll be appalled if I do read them. I don't now the full story (if the Dad was with him) but he was with a professional trainer...I guess I just don't understand how a professional would think it's safe to allow a CHILD to hold a gun that is so powerful? I'm just confused.

Anyway, this sounds like a petty thing to be upst over, but the animal lovers out there will understand. I've also been upset all weekend about my little dog Daisy. Daisy is a four year old Jack Rat. I've had her since she was approximately six months old. Daisy has major behavioral problems. She has food/toy/possession/fear aggression. This is something that has gradually gotten worse the past 3-4 years (lots of change for her in our household during that time: her and I moving into a new house, then Daryl moving in and up until that point I hadn't done a very good job in training her and SHE thought she was the alpha dog in the house, then a new dog when Daryl gave me Tucker for Valentine's Day of '06, etc.) and we've tried so many different things to alleviate the problem. Tried different trainings (read articles online, read books, took other people's suggestions) and even hired a dog behaviourist who came to the house every few weeks to help try to train both US and the dog; but Daisy is a tough cookie. This weekend was the final straw unfortunately, because she attacked Tucker (most of you know he is an 80-something pound yellow Lab who is THE biggest baby ever. Daisy meanwhile is 19-20 lbs. of fury. And sometimes DOES attack him unfortunately but usually it has only happened a couple of times a WEEK)...she attacked him SIX times just on Saturday. Granted no blood was drawn, thank god, but I worry that one day she will get rougher and rougher and really hurt poor Tucker.

I need to find her a home with NO other pets or even children (no dogs or cats...we have three cats and she chases them constantly. It's like her prey drive kicks in as soon as they start to run. She's never hurt any of them, thank god,however, I feel it's only a matter of time before she DOES. Her and one of my cats did get into a couple of spats and I've always been right there to separate them but I'm so afraid she'll kill one of the cats one of these days when the cat decides to really fight back). I've tried so hard to find her a home on my own but becuz of her issues (and the fact that I don't feel comfortable letting her go to just anyone...I am specifically requesting someone with dog experience. I would feel horribly responsible if some uninformed person adopted her and she bit them or WORSE) I am finding it almost impossible. I thought we were going to have luck with a Jack Russell Rescue Group (that the dog behaviourist had recommend) however once they found out that Daisy has bitten, they said she is a liability and they would not take her. She HAS bitten both me and Daryl when we tried to take a Kong away from her. :-( There's that toy/food aggression. We do not let her have any treats or food-filled Kongs unless both her and Tucker are in their crates just for this reason alone. We can not let rawhide bones or even nyla bones lie around the house. She will even attack Tucker if he walks by while I am eating something.

I feel like Daryl and I have tried so much. It has even been suggested that if we can't find Daisy a home, we put her to sleep. I just can't do that. Despite the BAD in Daisy there is so much GOOD at the same time. She is a love bug to humans, she is a huge cuddler and would be content to nestle in with you on the couch. She loves to go for walks, loves to swim, loves one on one attention from a human. She has an extremely unique and SMART personality and I don't hesitae to say that with the proper environment and owner who can devote MUCH one on one time to her and her training, that I believe some of her bad behavoirs can be fixed. I know our home is NOT that place for her...it's taken me a while to finally fully admit it and not simultaneously feel like the WORST Dog-Mommy ever. I'm a freakin' emotional basket case. I've been crying nonstop all day.

What doesn't help is that I'm PMS'ing this week, AND for some insane reason I decided TODAY would be a good day to start counting my points again (weight watchers). I've already probably gone over cuz when I started blubbering at my desk for about the 2nd or 3rd time today, my boss suggested, "Why don't you go run out and get us some yummy coffees! Get away from your desk and have a few minutes to yourself." I did it, and then immediately felt guilty as I sipped on my sugar and cream-laden iced coffee. In my defense, I decided early this morning to count points when I woke up and realized I felt slightly better (before my day went to hell in a hand basket). I was sick as a DOG all weekend from this stupid cold/sinus infection/whatever. It just keeps hanging on. I've probably blown the entire contents of my brain into every tissue I can get my germy mitts on. AND my f*cking printer died today at work...on a crazy day when I need it.

OH GOD, can I complain about anything else????

Friday, October 24, 2008


We all go a little.....batty......sometimes.Some, more than others!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I had an insane--I mean INSANE--craving for tuna fish the other day. That craving had carried through an entire week (a week where I mentioned multiple times that I wanted to eat tuna fish!) so I finally decided on Monday that I was going to give in to said craving.

I mixed up the tuna and reduced fat mayo, slapped it on a wheat roll and threw on a slice of American cheese AND some of the most delicious homemade pickles evah (Thanks, Daryl's Grandma!!). YUM-MY.

I savored every bite, chewing with utter relish, and reveled in my gratification that is TUNA. I am totally shocked I didn't moan in pleasure, THAT'S how good it was. I made it through more than 3/4 of this heavenly sandwich (there was probably about 3 bites left) before I noticed it....dum dum da DUM....a speckle of green. That tell-tale flag waving frantically in my face. Mold.


What did I do, you ask?


Well, naturally, I pinched off that moldy piece of green and finished the last three tasty bites of my sandwich.

Is that bad? :-) Hell, you just don't mess with a woman's craving, damn it!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

This is how I roll...er....blog...


....with a big yellow teddy bear chin nestled upon my knee.


And this look (accompanied with a pitiful little whimper when I made eye contact)???
It means, "Mama? I'm so very, very tired. Can we PUH-LEEZ go to bed now? Pretty please with a doggy biscuit on top?"


Yes, Big Boy, let's head to bed.


Goodnight, all!!
Help us come up with a name!

We are probably going to be getting our Fidelco foster puppy soon (like within a month or so). We're trying to come up with three name choices ahead of time. The way the naming process works with Fidelco is each litter is named after a certain letter of the alphabet. And then you have to name your puppy with a name starting with that letter. (For example for a "B" litter you need to name your dog starting with a "B") Also, you need to submit three of your top choices and Fidelco from there picks the one they agree on.

Now, a couple other bits. We can't choose just any common overly-used name becuz you can't choose a name that already belongs/belonged to a previous foster puppy OR graduate guide dog. This is where you all come in! We picked a couple of names so far (out of a baby book LOL) so I want your opinion on which of them you like best. AND I want you to come up with a few of your own as well!!! Oh! And the name can only be one or two syllables...no more than that AND should not rhyme with a command (for example: CLOWN which rhymes with DOWN).

Please give me opinions!!! We are getting a male puppy and the next two litters are a "T" and a "U" but most likely we are getting a "T" puppy....

Talon (which is a French name that means "wily")
Tegan
Thayer (which is a an English name that means "protected; sheltered")
Timber
Tristan (which is an English name that means "impulsive")

Okay, help, I need more "T" names please!!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I am EXHAUSTED and my feet are SWOLLEN.

I had a fantastic day.

My cousin, Jenn, got married and it was a BEAUTIFUL Fall wedding. Just perfect. She looked absolutely stunning in her dress (I loved the chocolate brown accents), the weather was gorgeous (if a bit COLD...okay try FREEZING outside in our sleeveless/strapless gowns. Brrrrr!). The food was delish, the dancing was ALL DAY and now I'm recovering with my red, blistered feet reclined in the chair. Ouch!

Love this picture...Jenn's daughter, Corrina, (16-ish months) is gazing up at her mama in awe in the limo. And below is our girls, ready to party!

The picture above shows Jenn and her sweet 10-year old daughter Kaitlyn. And below is Jenn, Carlos and Corrina. Me and my Big D.

Obviously, we're all getting DOWN by this point!!

Big D and bridesmaid, Natalie above. And Jenn shoveling in some cake into Carlos' mouth, below.

A little bit of Madonna, girls??

Oh yeah, baby got back.

And below, sweet little Corrina (and her babysitter!) is beat and ready to call it a night. What a great day and a great new family!

Friday, October 17, 2008

PHOTOSTORY FRIDAY (can't seem to post link...sorry)


For this Photostory Friday I am focusing on Fall (doh! Didn't I do that for the LAST one? Sorry, guyz, but I super LOVE Fall. I could talk about it every day if possible!)



Last Sunday Daryl and I decided to go out pumpkin picking to a local orchard (the same orchard I went apple picking at last month). While I would have liked to spend hours there frolicking through the pumpkins in the beautiful and warm Autumn sun, Big D was basically like "Okay, we got our pumpkins, let's go!". Men, humph! Luckily he didn't rush me out before I was able to snap a few photos for the 'ol scrapbook (if I ever get around to DOING it!).





All the leaves have not changed over yet but they're coming along nicely!

Here is my big kid (heh heh!) heading to the pumpkin patch!


Look at all the pumpkins, how will we decide?? Ok, that is mild sarcasm...the place was picked cleaner than teeth after a dentist cleaning. Geez Louise, people, did you pick your pumpkins in SEPTEMBER??
Then we stumbled across some greenies, like this baby. It's time will come! (and maybe we'll be back to pick you, little green pumpkin!)




I put Big D on the job. Me: Ooh, that one. Big D: (bending over to pick while i pointed and supervised). That's a good man right there.


My happy little picker!

Here I am. I swear I'm not scowling. That darn sun was bright!!

Bringing our bounty back to the truck (25 lbs. each! They don't look heavy but take my word for it, those orange beauties were heavy! As we went back up hill to reach the truck! I moaned and groaned so much, Daryl took them both. LOL)

This picture is not even from the orchard, but Daryl took it a couple of days previous and I just love it. It's such a beautiful early Autumn shot. Gorgeous!



P.S. Where the hell did my comments section go?!?!? Is that it under the dotted line?? So confused! Stupid blogger!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Wednesday really sucked.

(I hear that seemed to be a trend in the blog-world yesterday, incidentally.)

Work was really, really crappy. I found out about some changes going on at my company, some that will affect MY job as well (not being laid off or anything, just additions to my job description) and I'm not happy whatsoever about it. I don't really feel like going into the details, I'll just say that I don't like where things are going. That coupled with a busy day at work, put me into a foul mood (but also solidified my determination to really start looking for another job, hardcore. No more waiting for one to fall in my lap!)

Then around noon-ish, I called my mom to say hello (I actually wanted to tell her that a certain song was on the radio, it's a song that my dad used to belt out at the top of his lungs, so whenever it comes on, we usually giggle about it) and after I told her and laughed, and noticed she didn't laugh with me, I asked what was wrong.

"Your grandmother is in the hospital again."

*Thud*


Brought back down to reality, after my moment of smiles.

Apparently, Tuesday night my Grammie called my mom (who lives on the 3rd floor, my Gram lives on the 1st) and asked her if she could feed AJ dinner, cuz she was throwing up. (AJ is my nine-year-old cousin who she babysits for about 3x a week while my uncle is working his second shift job.) So AJ came upstairs and my mom made him some hot dogs and they settled down on the couch together to watch a movie.

The phone rang again.

My mom answered to hear a tiny, sickly-sounding voice say, "Cheryl, please help me. I cant stop throwing up."

My mom and AJ ran downstairs to find my grandmother on the floor in her living room, at this point just dry-heaving, babbling and slightly incoherent. My mom immediately called 911. Poor AJ started to freak out saying, "Please don't let my Mimi die!" This is his FOURTH time watching his Mimi be taken away by an ambulance...THREE of those times before he was the only one home with her and had to call 911 himself. This poor kid is going to be traumatized when our grandmother, God forbid, does die. Becuz obviously it will happen someday. I'm a grown-up...I realize that (even though it breaks my heart to think about it). But AJ? It's got to be hard to see that. I remember when my paternal grandmother died when I was 13. It was hard enough to deal with at THAT age, I can't even imagine having to deal with it any younger.

Anyway, my mom sent AJ out to the front porch "wait for the ambulance and fire truck" but really to just get him out of the house so he wouldn't have to see his grandmother lying on the floor. When the ambulance got there, the EMT's asked my grandmother if she had eaten anything out of the norm. She did in fact eat a chocolate that someone had brought back from Hawaii recently. She was adamant that the chocolate was "poisoned". My grandmother is not crazy or anything, however, ever since her hip replacement and the general anesthesia she had, she has come out with really strange thoughts and ideas. So she kept saying that there was "white powder" on the chocolate. She showed the EMT's the chocolates which looked perfectly normal and my mom insisted to them, when my grandmother could not hear, that she watched her eat the chocolate earlier and it was normal-looking. No "powder".

On the way to the hospital they began hydrating her becuz she was severely dehydrated. Yesterday (after her first night there) the doctor's still had no idea what was wrong. Her heart seemed fine, her blood pressure was only slightly elevated. But he would not let her go home. They continued to hydrate her and sometime between late yesterday and today they were going to do a CAT scan of her stomach. My worst fear...is that the cancer has spread. That's the worst case scenario. I'm hoping (praying), on the other hand, that it's just a food she ate, or something reacting negatively with one of her medications. *SIGH*

I don't expect her to live forever, I'm not that naive, but I'm just not ready for her to go yet. She's my only living grandparent. I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again, I want her to see a great-grandchild. I want her to be alive to experience that. She wants to experience that. She's the only grandparent I had at my wedding and I damn well want her to keep going until I get pregnant and have a baby! Call me selfish, but I want that.

And on the whole baby-makin' front? We're moving onto our sixth cycle TTC. I know that's "nothing" and like a drop in the bucket to some, but it feels like FOREVER to me. Like eternity multipeld by a billion. I'm so ready to become a mother. I'm tired of that ache I feel when I hold other people's children (while simultaneously keeping the happy grin plastered on my face becuz yes I am happy for them and I don't want my friends to think I'm not!). I'm tired of not being able to walk through a store without trailing my hand along the baby clothes that seem to scream at me as I walk by. I'm tired of people asking me, "So? When are you gonna get pregnant?" DON'T YOU THINK WE'RE WORKING ON IT, PEOPLE???

I'm sorry I repeatedly talk about this, I bet some of you are like "Enough complaining already! It's only been six months!" I try not to make my blog center around it, but some days, the feelings just rear up and seem to kick me in the face. I'm doing everything I can. I've started temping this month (basal body temp) and as crazy as it sounds to some of you, I'm doing the whole Robitussin thing the week before you ovulate. It's supposed to help thin out your CM (and if I have to tell you what CM is, don't worry about it...LOL) and make it a hospitable place for those little Spermies! I'm ready to break out the fancy decor and the "WELCOME ALL SPERM" sign, maybe light some fragrant candles and make it an oh-so-desirable place to be. Heh. The coolest hot spot in town, little Sperm? April's Uterus. Open 24 hours daily!!!

Now....let's hope one lucky fellow decides to take up residence....

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My weekend wasn't' super exciting or anything...at least not by blog-standards.

For me, it was pretty darn good though.

Friday I was feeling crappy, fighting off that cold that was threatening to overtake me (by the way, I won! I single-handedly fought that bitch OFF!) so instead of going to 'Chele's like we were supposed to, I headed home and had some comfort food (pizza) while huddling in my pj's under a blanket on the couch. I turned in pretty darn early to bed, too. I think I needed to catch up on some sleep.

Saturday I slept in till about 9:30 which was heavenly! Since I was feeling better, I decided to tackle cleaning the house. Scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom, washed dishes, did laundry, straightened up our new bedroom AND I made homemade apple crisp. You GO, April-Martha-Stewart, you! The rest of the day was spent vegging out. I didn't even SHOWER till like 8pm and after that I was pleasantly sleepy and watched a movie with Big D.

Sunday we were up and about early-ish and off to go pumpkin-picking! It's definitely FALL in New England, people. I had absolutely no idea how to dress. It was warm (HOT) with that sun shining down on you, but not summer-warm...and yet it wasn't cold enough to wear a sweater. I finally opted for a short sleeved shirt with a long sleeved zippered one over it. Layers work best this time of year for me! I'm either too hot or too cold. Like Goldilocks...yet I can never find that temperature that is "just right". After picking out our two huge (25 lbs. each!) pumpkins, we headed off to Big D's favorite store, Cabela's. Hunting season for him (deer) is quickly approaching and he needed new shot gun shells. And even though I'm not into hunting or fishing, I LOVE wandering around Cabela's checking out all the stuffed animals (we're talking taxidermy here people, not stuffed teddy bears), the tanks of fish and the the cool gadgets. And the tons of good lucking men swarming about. Women are out-numbered in that store like 20-1! Heh heh. Don't tell Daryl though. He'll never let me go again. Ha. But, man, if you are single? Seriously, get your ass to Cabela's. Anywho,the rest of the day was spent first grocery shopping, enjoying a delicious Starbucks Pumpkin Spice latte (hot chocolate for Big D) and then Big D made dinner (delicious cod!!) while I did MORE laundry (the bane of my existence. Ugh). The plans we tentatively had with D's friend's for dinner on Sunday night fell through and honestly, we were both okay with that.

Monday Big D had to go back to work (poor soul) while I got to stay home on my holiday/day off (Good 'ol Columbus!!). So I decided to be a wonderful stay-at-home-housewife-for-a-day and make him homemade beef stew for dinner. In addition to, no lie, MORE laundry. Interspersed with sitting my fat ass on the couch and watching TLC all day while eating for lunch first a super-sized serving of apple crisp, followed by an entire bag of 94% fat free popcorn. Yes, you read that right. An entire bag of popcorn. What a schlump.

Anyway, that was my weekned in a (large) nutshell. Oh! And the rough draft mock-up of my tattoo is complete! I'm very pleased with how it came out...I just need him to make a few minor changes/additions to it before I'll be ready to get it done! Granted, I still need to figure out where I'm putting it. I'm still torn on that.....

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The ASPCA must have THE smartest marketing person on the face of the planet.

I've probably seen their commercial (you know the one I mean, with the Sarah McLaughlin song "Arms of the Angel" playing and the saddest most pitiful looking puppy dogs and kitties you've ever seen) about a hundred times. I seriously don't think that's far off; it's on quite often.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EYocy_DN60

(sorry I don't know how to post it, other than the link)

No lie, I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Every time it comes on, I try so hard to keep my eyes dry. No dice.

It just popped on about two minutes ago, and without a word, Daryl dropped the book he was reading and quickly looked over at me.

"Are you gonna cry again, hun?" He asked with a knowing smile.

"No, come on now. I'm over that." I scoffed back at him, surreptitiously peeking over the top of the lap top at the TV screen. As Sarah's melodic, mournful voice carried through our living room (cuz of course we had on our surround sound!), and the saddest brown eyes stared through the screen at me....my eyes started to well up again.

"Damn it! Their marketing dude is a GENIUS!" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Why?" Big D asked, looking back up from his book. At the sight of my tears, he started to laugh.

Now, I'm off to go make my donation to the ASPCA.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

We had a little bit of "excitement" in the ghetto, last night.

My Mommy came over for dinner and a movie last night and it was with full bellies and light hearted banter, we were ending the visit. I was standing in the front door, holding Daisy under one arm like a fat football, watching my mom start to walk down our front walkway, headed toward the street where her car was parked. I was being silly and joking around and at first not realizing why she wasn't answering me back at all. I saw her look over her left shoulder at least once, possibly twice, and then she seemed to be inserting her key in the lock of her car for a very long time. We often say that our road is like a freakin' uphill, curved racetrack, with the way people coming bombing up the hill. So usually if you are parked in the street, and a car is speeding up on you, you would have to wait to open your car door till it passed. I figured that's what my mom was doing.

After the car had already driven by, my mom had still not gotten in her vehicle. A very distant corner of my brain wondered why she was hesitating.

"April," She called out in a whisper loud enough to carry up to the house. "I think there's someone in your yard over there!"

"What?" I made her repeat it, unsure if I had heard it correctly and then quickly saying in a confused voice, "Daryl, my mom thinks there is someone in our yard!" I think at first Big D didn't quite register what I said either because he just continued to sit on the couch with a sort of blank look on his face.

"April, he's running away through your neighbor's yard!" My mom called out. At that, Big D it was like realization clicked and he jumped up off the couch and reached for his work tee-shirt that was laying on the couch. He whipped that on and then slid his feet into flip-flops and grabbed a flashlight. I called out a goodbye to my mom so she would leave and then Big D ran outside and proceeded to sweep the beam of the flashlight into the dark corner of our side yard and then tracing a line with it into our neighbor, Ronnie's yard which is the direction that my mom said the person had run. Meanwhile, I threw Daisy in her cage and then ran to the kitchen and switched on the light, then immediately turned on the sun porch light as well and tried to peek through the slats of the kitchen window blinds into our backyard. No movement.

I started to feel a little nervous that Big D was wondering around alone outside and ran back o the front door and realized he was now diagonally across the street. I saw the bobbing flashlight as he walked through the yard of an empty house, that another set of neighbor's had moved out of during the summer. He also shone the flashlight down the cul de sac that hugged hte opposite side of Ronnie's property, since that is the direction that the figure ran towards.

When Big D was back in the house, his first thought out loud was, "Are you sure your Mom wasn't seeing things?"

"No way! My Mom doesn't not have vision problems, honey. and she's not prone to over-reacting. If she says she saw someone, I believe her." I called my mom on her cell and asked, "You're positive you saw someone, Mom?"

"Oh yes! Definitely! I heard crunching leaves when I as walking down the walkway. didn't you notice I kept looking back in that direction? And then by the time I got to the car, I saw the figure. And then they took off running!"

"What....uh....size was this person Mom? Was it like a man? Could it have been--" I hesitated, almost embarrassed to say my thought aloud. "--could it have been Ronnie?"

"No!" My Mom reassured me. "It was not a man, it looked like the size of a teenager." Unconsciously I whooshed out a big breath of relief. I didn't want to think that my neighbor, the crazy drunk, was peeping in my windows, but hey, stranger things have happened!

Anyway, Daryl told me to call the local police department which I immediately did. Within 10 minutes, we saw a squad car coming slowly up the street, shining it's light into yards and down the cul de sac. As he pulled up in front of our house, Big D walked down to greet the police officer. I heard snippets of conversation and saw another cop nearby, cruising down the street towards the low income housing then coming back around the block and parking beside the first officer's vehicle. Then a few minutes later Daryl thanked the officer and came back into the house.

"I'm going to the police department tomorrow. I have to fill out a piece of paper that will have the cops add our address to a list they have; they will cruise by it like once every night."

"Oh, wow, really? They can do that?"

"Yeah. I explained to him that it's getting ridiculous around here. Between my work van being broken into back in January and our GPS being stolen, and the house being broken into when you first moved in three years ago...and after calling the cops when those delinquent kids shouting in the street at 1:30 am two weeks ago...I told him we are very fed up with this neighborhood!"

"Good! It's the truth." I grumbled. Around 11:30 pm we turned in to bed. Daryl dropped right off to sleep like a baby. Me? Not so much. I rechecked every lock on all the windows and doors. Pulled the curtains tight. Reminded myself to ask Daryl in the morning to take out the last remaining ac unit....why make it easier for someone to break in? And new blinds...I am running out Friday, payday, and buying blinds for the one window in the computer room that doesn't have any, and also replacing any blinds in the house that have broken slats (PEEP holes!).

Oh, and one more thing? I'm going out with my friend B, (the state cop) this weekend to learn how to shoot Big D's guns (something I've been wanting to do for a long time now. I hate having guns in the house and knowing that I have absolutely NO IDEA the proper way to hold one or shoot one or anything).

I'm not tempting fate any longer...god forbid anyone ever tried to break in while I'm home alone? I'll be prepared.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Happy Hump Day, all.

I called in sick to work yesterday...my tummy was not in a good way. Let's just say, I could not leave the bathroom for QUITE some time to actually get ready for work, so I knew it was a lost cause. That coupled with this impending cold (that my body is so valiantly trying to fight off!) and I felt pretty yucky yesterday. Of course instead of laying on the couch the whole day like you SHOULD do when sick, I did a ton of laundry. I have this crazy thing that happens when I'm home sick...I start to feel guilty for not doing anygthing and then end up having to clean something or wash dishes or do laundry, whether I feel like crap or not.

I'm not looking forward to going into work today either cuz I'm sure that shit is not in order...it's like no one even gives a crap about covering my stuff (except for answering the phones) when I'm gone. Which means I will come back to one of the other campuses/teachers freaking out that they didn't get lists they needed yesterday. And that is so frustrating to me. On the job-hunt front, I have not heard back from the second job I applied for. I know it's pretty difficult to find a job right now so I'm not holding out much hope, but at least it's giving me the courage to keep trying! I also grabbed an application this past weekend from the Yankee Candle store at the mall. Not sure yet if I'm even definitely going to apply, but I'm contemplating it. The extra money during the holiday season would be nice, plus I would get a discount which would be helpful for gift-giving. But I'm still hung up on the whole giving-up-my-weekend part of it all. I contemplated saying I'm not available on weekends but I've worked enough retail to know, that is usually not an option. So I might just say I'm available on Sundays, or maybe every other Sunday. Saturdays I'm not wiling to give up though cuz I don't know when our guide puppy training classes (time) will be and on which Saturdays, and I really want to go with Daryl so that we both get equal training time with the puppy.

Anyone else have a three day weekend coming up?? I'm SO psyched about it! This is the first time since I've been at the school that I'll have off Columbus Day (now with our new owners, we have some additional holidahys off we never got before like: Columbus Day, Presidents Day, Martin Luther King Day, etc.). This weekned will be SO quiet and mellow and I'm freakin' excited about that!!! I want to take the big camera and Big D (and maybe the dogs depending on where we go) and go hiking in the woods to get some pretty foliage shots. And I gotta clean the house. Anyone else planning their weekends already???

Monday, October 06, 2008














I came to work to relax.


My weekend was pretty darn busy.



Friday I had a company retreat so I had to drive to Madison (45 minutes) to the Mercy Center. It is right on the beach and we actually got some "me" time (what our facilitator called "mini-retreat time") where for 45 minutes we could do whatever/go wherever on the property that we wanted.



The catch? No talking, whatsoever. To anyone.





I strolled around the beach, naturally, kicking through the sand, picking up seashells, taking photos with my cell phone and trying not to get attacked by high tide (at one point when I wasn't paying attention, a wave came crashing in and soaked the very tips of my sneakers as I hopped up onto a rock to escape it).










The weather was slightly overcast, and it was cool and windy down by the water(I was damn chilly in my denim coat), but I appreciated every glorious peaceful minute of it by myself.










(Check out that crazy-hair picture...I TOLD YOU it was windy! LOL)
. All in all, it was a very relaxing day (and a day away from work, woo hoo!) and I was feeling quite refreshed afterwards. Friday night, Big D and I ordered dinner in and watched a movie.





Saturday we were up and out early and went to the school to get massages by the students. We both needed it...my hip has been aching horribly lately so I was hoping this would give me some relief! Then afterwards we headed to Fidelco to sit in on our second class, before we get our foster puppy. I am getting more and more excited to dig in with our future foster puppy! We even went home and started some of the lessons with our own dogs, that we learned in Saturday's class. Hopefully in this whole process, we will come out of this with our own dogs better trained! Daryl bought a couple of dog-training books this weekend and he called me today all pumped up, while I am at work, to say how "wrong" we have been going about things with Daisy and her food/toy/possession aggression. So we are very excited to take into consideration the stuff we've read in this book (that the Fidelco employee had recommended) and put it into practice with our crazy little Daisy.

Anyway, after our busy morning, I had about an hour to rest up at home before I then had to jump in the shower and get ready for my cousin Jenn's bachelorette night. I got ready in record time (for me!) and hauled ass to the nearest package store to get a bottle of red wine, then hopped on the highway and started spacing out so that i ended up missing my damn exit. I had already been short on time at this point, and still had to run to the ATM, so I cursed out loud and got off the next (MUCH further away) exit, found the ATM, and then made it to the restaurant about 15 minute late! Thankfully, Iwasn't the latest to arrive, we still had two more coming and the damn restaurant wouldn't seat us till we had at least FIVE in our party so we ended up having a drink at the bar first. After some delicious rigatoni al la vodka and girl talk, we headed back to Jenn's house. I couldn't believe it but most of her girls all left. It was just me, Jenn and her MOH. I felt bad for her but she didnt' seem to mind. She had lined up her friend's hubby to come over and teach us to salsa dance (Jenn's future hubby is Puerto Rican) and I giggled and drank my wine, feeling silly about dancing in front of everyone but once it was my turn to dance with him, I concentrated on his feet and started shaking my hips, and I ended up being the best salsa dancer out of the three of us, if I do say so myself. Heh heh. I've got rhythm, baby.

Sunday, I got to sleep in till nine thirty (holy crap!) and I enjoyed every sleepy second of it. We went out to brekfast, filled up our "gas tanks" and set in for the long, grueling day of moving over our bedroom into the newly painted old computer room. What a pain in the ASS. My body was aching from all the stuff I carried and lifted all day. The house was a unbelievable MESS as we moved stuff. This went on for HOURS (and sweeping and dusting cuz damn the dog and cat hair was lurking in all kinds of places in each of the two bedrooms).



Then it was off to meet baby Aubrey Rose (who is now nine months). She is the daughter of Daryl's cousin, Liz (who was a BM in our wedding party).













She is just such a cute little chunker!! I wanted to give her many squeezes, however, she was a bit cranky due to a cold. So sadly I could not even get her to smile for even ONE picture. Next time. I refuse to give up!!

Friday, October 03, 2008

I know summer is pretty much over...at least in my neck of the woods, but how about one last memory of it to hold us over through the cold, cold winter to come....


A DAY AT THE LAKE

The water was cool and green, pierced intermittently by golden shards of sunlight that dazzled like prisms . I sat, carefree, on the old wooden dock, haphazard slabs of wood like graying teeth in a straight, prim line, beneath my warmed legs and bottom. My toes swirled figure eights in the water; it enveloped my feet and ankles in its cool embrace, and I breathed in deep lungfuls of the pungent summer air; it tasted clean on my tongue.

A lone duck glided by on a gently bobbing wave, and the solemn animal glanced over curiously, cautiously, unsure of this human in her home. Beads of lake-water rolled smoothly down her feathered back like marbles and she lifted her lithe body up briefly, extending her wings. Was she trying to appear bigger, so that predators would not mess with her? Or was she simply stretching her weary limbs after a long day of endless swimming? Finally, she turned her dark brown eyes away, as if dismissing this human. I watched the beautiful bird dunk her smooth head into the water and pull out, then dunk it again and come up chewing. She made life look so easy, that duck.

"Perfect." I murmured to myself, pleased; nodding, heedless of whether anyone behind me could see my lips moving as I spoke to myself. "This is how life should be."

Diamond-glints sparkled atop the water, so many facets winking and blinking teasingly till I was almost blind. The water seemed to have a life all of its own, as it harbored so much incredible life, and I was grateful to watch and absorb it. A leaf bobbed close to my foot, then away, then closer still as the waves bore it towards my sun-browned ankle. I was amazed how that leaf looked--golden, veined and velvety like a butterfly’s wing--even as it swirled a few inches down beneath the mysterious green depth.I struggled to catch one last glimpse of it, though it was gone.

“Where are you going?” I wondered aloud. A deeper thought broke free through the beauty: “Where am I going?” I had no answer. I realized that at that moment in time, I didn't need an answer. I was perfectly content to see where life may lead me.

A nearby boat’s motor interrupted my solemn reverie; it whined and pleaded like that dog at the back door begging to be let out into the comforting warmth of the day. I closed my eyes and felt the wind tickling my sun-kissed skin, heard the whining buzz, as it filled my ears like cotton, and I sucked in fresh air so deeply that myself and the lake seemed to breath as one being, swelling in and then whooshing gently back out. Ebb and flow.

I wished life could always be like this--this simple, beautiful, wonderful, clean day at the lake--everyday.


NOTE: I'll be at a company retreat (by the ocean! let's pray it doesn't rain) all day today so I'm sorry I won't be around to comment on your blogs. I hope you all have a fan-tabu-lous weekend!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Ugh. Another cycle about to end...damn period due Sunday. And I've got ALL the PMS-symptoms to prove it. Back to the drawing board.

Last night I was not in a good state. Between my anxiety (which has reared it's ugly head for multiple reasons and multiples TIMES this week), to massive PMS and the most horrendous chocolate-craving I've ever experienced before in my life--let's just say Daryl was lucky to get away alive from my clutches.

At 8:00pm, with my hair pulled tight in a not-so-attractive ponytail atop my head and dressed in only my pj's (oh ok, sweatpants and a tank) I threw on sneaks, a denim coat and literally RAN out to the truck. The short drive to S&S took way too long. I was jonesing in a big way, as images of chocolate danced merrily in my head and I practically shook with the need. I salivated at the thought of how good it would taste. All while simultaneously asking myself, "Really? For real, you're driving out to the store at eight o'clock at night just to get chocolate?" Yup. I was. And I did. And I can't even begin to describe to you the sweet relief as I nibbled the edges off that very first peanut butter cup (which was 1 of 4, I won't lie to you) while I huddled on my couch. And despite the intense relishing of the that chocolate, I also simultaneously felt like an asshole as I ate it in front of Big D, who so studiously munched away on his unsalted peanuts, while he watched tv. *SIGH*

In case you are wondering, Big D's doctor's appointment was so-so. Yes, he is doing good with his diabetes and his glucose level (tested at the office) was pretty darn good, at about 120. However, his cholesterol is B-A-D. SUPER BAD. Horribly bad. And now he is on two more prescriptions. I'm stressing out about his health. I just want him healthy, I don't want to have to worry about him dying on me (I know that sounds melodramatic, but I have a pessimistic streak in me, so sue me). He is not as worried as me...he is more matter-of-fact and just like "Let's take care of it" but I can't help but worry. Just like I know he would worry about MY health if I was the one in his shoes. Anyway, we ate oatmeal for breakfast this morning and I'll force it down his throat EVERY SINGLE MORNING if I have to, in order to lower that cholesterol. That's love, baby.

And on my end, I called the doctor this morning myself and made an appointment to talk about this damn anxiety. I went from having an episode of it like once a month--no big deal--to which if I wanted to (but more often than not I try to take care of it w/out meds) I would pop a pill if it got bad....to this week having that horrible tightness in my chest and feeling like I can't breathe and like I'm going to bawl at the drop of a hat...EVERY SINGLE DAY. *Sigh* And then there is my hip pain. I just am so sick of it. I can't sleep on my right side, it kills when I've been sitting or laying down for a period of time and go to stand up, and even just sitting here if I turn a certain way it is just a dull, throbbing ache. It's been going on and off (more off than on, thankfully--it seems to bother me more fall into winter) for over a year so time to get to the bottom of it. A doctor, a year ago, told me I probably pulled something and showed me stretches to do but why is it rearing it's ugly head now? A year later?

Ugh. I think I just need to drown my sorrows in a deliciously-spicey, Starbucks Pumpkin Spice latte. Hell, I'm not pregnant, I can drink as much freakin' caffeine as I want!! (and no, for those wondering, the coffee is not what is causing my anxiety-feelings. I don't drink that much of it. Maybe one cup in the morning and that's it. And the anxiety often comes on a day when I haven't even had any. In case ya wondered.)

Wednesday, October 01, 2008


Awww, I feel so honored!! 'Chele told me I'm WONDERFUL! Me, little 'ol me! (okay, yes, I'm far from "little" but you get the idea). I love you, too, 'Chele. Thanks for the sweet award!

And I know a bunch of you have graced me with awards in the past few weeks (I suck, I'm sorry!) and I can't remember WHO and WHAT awards. My memory is horrendous. If you can remind me in the comment section (if YOU even remember, heh) then I promise to acknowledge your awesomeness too! You guys all ROCK.





So now I want to share in my specialness. I'm passing this on to some super-cool peeps:



1. KittyConcerto- This sweetie needs a little bloggy-friend-love today so I hope this helps!



2. CountryMouse- Cuz she is so super cute (see, Bekah? I TOLD you I only read your blog cuz you are "hot". LOL) and witty.



3. Living the Dream- Becuz she seems like the nicest person EVER...and she has really adorable puppy dogs who I just want to smooch. :-)



4. Just the 2 of Us- And I'm sure you all read my last post where I gushed about Steph and her thoughtfulness!





And don't feel bad if I didn't pass this award on to you, it's not that I don't love you all, it's just that there are so MANY of you and I do have to get to work this morning. So if I'm reminded of the past awards I've received, I will keep on sharing the love. I promise!!






Oh! And for those of you who like this sort of thing, here is a teaser of the house renovation post to come!!! 'Chele, can you believe that only ONE coat of primer and ONE coat of paint was enough to cover that dark-as-blood Merlot color? LOL Here is Big D in primer-mode...I still need to take some after shots but until he finishes painting all the trim, I'm holding off. This is the dark-ass color we started with!!! Aren't' you dying of curiosity to find out what color we painted it???? Hmmmm????