Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Note: I'm sorry to those of you who don't want to read all my pregnancy in's and out's but I don't journal by hand anymore and I do want to remember everything. So into my blog it all goes!

Why is it that I'm freakin' ravenous all the time, and yet the look/smell/taste of most foods totally repulses me? It makes it a little bit hard to figure out what to eat, no?

AND why is it, that the only foods that DON'T repulse me, are the most unhealthy ones??? I crave beef, but not in a healthy form, oh no. I crave beef in burritos, or big, fat cheeseburgers. (Think: Taco Bell, McDonald's). Or pizza. Thank gawd, I am not sickened by my lovely, tasty pizza! Ha! But seriously, at this rate, I'm going to weigh a bazillion pounds! I'm trying to keep it in check, don't worry. But it's definitely hard when that hunger is gnawing at me. And the worst part is when it is gnawing at me, I've usually waited too long to feed it, and the nausea kicks in and I don't WANT to eat. It's a vicious cycle.

I have not thrown up (yet) and for that, I'm eternally grateful. However, I've had many a gagging/dry heaving moments. Ha! Most of them, make me laugh afterwards. Yes, I'm crazy. Sunday night around 8pm, I was hungry, sick to my stomach and nothing in my house looked good. I finally settled on peanut butter slathered on some saltine crackers but about four crackers into it, I realized that was not a good idea. With my stomach rolling, I ran to the bathroom and knelt down by the toilet and started dry-heaving when all of a sudden I caught a whiff of the toilet bowl cleanser (that I've never smelled before except for while cleaning) and that immediately set me off gagging again. And I ended up laughing about it. Then the other day I swigged down some water with my prenatal vitamin. But becuz those vitamins are so big, if I don't drink enough water with them so that they slide unencumbered down my throat, the feeling of it touching my throat makes me gag. So you can guess what happened, as the water almost spewed out of my mouth and I raced to the kitchen sink, the nearest place to vomit, if that happened. All the while Daryl is shouting out, "Don't puke in the sink! Don't puke in the sink! It still doesn't drain properly yet!" as he hurriedly shoved a garbage bag into my shaking hands. Yes, a garbage bag. Again, we could only laugh afterwards!

My fatigue has died down a little bit, as in I don't feel like I'm comatose every night immediately after dinner. But I do still need to be in bed by 9pm every night or the shakes start and my body starts to feel like a wet noodle. Daryl loves it becuz I am unconscious as soon as my head hits the pillow which means I don't come out yelling at him at midnight like I normally do, as he snores on the couch, "Come to bed, would ya??" I'm a wicked light sleeper, normally, and sometimes his snoring can wake up the dead. But no more does it disturb me!

What else? One of my good friends, Stacey, had gotten me a kick-ass pregnancy journal for my birthday and this book goes into crazy detail that NO OTHER BOOK has gone into about the baby's growth. Daryl and I both have found it insanely fascinating. but the best part for me was today when I read the following:

"No longer considered an embryo, your baby is now a well-proportioned, small-scale baby."

Such a simple sentence. But I can't explain in mere words the affect it had on me. My eyes welled up with tears, and my breath choked in my chest a little bit. And I suddenly felt it...I AM GROWING A BABY INSIDE OF ME. Not an embryo, not a bunch of cells, but a baby. Our baby. Mine and Daryl's. A baby that will have little ear lobes, and sweet little eye lashes, and tiny finger nails, and whose heart is beating, beating, beating within my own body.

This baby already IS my heart.

20 comments:

Stephanie said...

Yeah for this post! (ok, the last part, not the first part! lol)
Isnt it the craziest feeling in the world to know there is a BABY inside you?!?! Just wait until you feel cashew get the hiccups or kicks you!!! AMAZING!

My Two Army Brats said...

I'm pretty sure anyone reading your blog will want to read about your adventure in pregnancy. I love that you can laugh at the dry heaves I usually ended up in tears. Have the wild mood swings hit you yet? I cried once and was mad as hell slamming things around because I thought my hubby the other half of my piece of chicken that I wanted him to put in the fridge and it was the first meat I had been able to eat and not puke up in a month!

I love the last part about the book but you didn't tell us what it was called. My favorite book was "your pregnancy week by week" and I made myself wait to read what each week said as I went along!

Congrats again, keep enjoying!

Kori said...

The smell of eggs cooking made me so sick. It was horrible.

At night before I used to go to bed I would pour half a can of coke in a glass and grab four saltine crackers put that on the night table next to the bed. When I woke up the next morning I had flat coke and stale crackers for breakfast before my feet ever hit the floor. It helped with the puking for the most part. I just had to have something in my tummy.

Weirdest thing I craved was pepperidge farm raisin bread. not the cheap stuff the good yummy stuff.

RCRambling said...

I love reading this, as it brings back reminders of my own pregnancy.

While I was pregnant, I was part of a online support group, which sadly disbanded before I could copy all of my pregnancy-based posts and tiny blog. I wish I had known about the bigger blogging world back then, since I would have loved to document so much more of my pregnancy. I also lost my old emails to friends about the pregnancy, when my computer crashed, so I'm a bit bummed that I don't have more information saved.

Take care and yes, greasy food was a frequent craving for me - and I lost weight during my pregnancy.

lovelylalo said...

I am very excited to read about your pregnancy adventures. It has been SO long for me! LOL...so now I live vicariously through you, cause I am finished!

Sorry you are having so many issues with being nauseous. I was very lucky with both the BOY/GIRL and didn't have these problems. Yay for no yacking-just yet.

Also-Yay for Big D being there by your side with the trash bag. You two are an amazing couple and I am so happy that you are expecting your first BABY!!

Melissa said...

I craved nachos and romaine lettuce. Eat what you need to. If it's red meat now, believe me when I say to you it will change next week. Your body will tell you what you need.

Your last paragraph makes me want to go downstairs and snuggle with my little girl!!

Tara @ Living A Dream said...

Awwww!! I love to hear all about your pregnancy!! I'm glad you are still feeling pretty good, hopefully it will remain that way. I bet that journal is really cool... you'll have to give us more updates! Take care of yourselves!! Squeeze that little Cashew for me!

Tabitha said...

I personally am loving these updates on your pregnancy!
This post managed to make me laugh and bring tears to my eyes ~ so sweet!!
Love and hugs XXXXX

Julie said...

I am all smiles!!

I check in on Chashew on your side bar everyday. That is so cool!

I was like Kori, I had saltines on my nightstand-eating them before I got out of bed helped. I never threw up just the heaves and disgust. The biggest key is never let your belly get empty, that is when you start to get sick. Figure out something healthy you can tolerate and eat it often to outway the bad stuff. for me I could eat antipasto salad- protein and veggies- not the healthiest but I could tolerate it. But I soooo loved me some taco bell. My boss at the time was also pregnant and whenever she came to my office we'd head to the border and fill up on taco bell and Oh I loved jalepenos on EVERYTHING!!!!!

Robyn said...

I slept like I had never slept before when I was pregnant. As far as books go I loved Great Expectations, it went into a lot of detail too. If you want it I can send it to you.

Flea said...

Awww! A baby!

When pregnant with my first, I craved spicy big bite hot dogs from 7-11, topped with chili and cheese, washed down with orange juice. For breakfast. Go figure. She's my spicy, emotional child.

Kat said...

It is so amazing isn't it? And no matter how many babies you have it will always be just as amazing and unbelievable. So awesome!

About the nausea.
I found that the nausea starts when I haven't eaten for a while. If you can just eat something small every few hours that usually helps a little bit. If you get too hungry that makes it so much worse.
Good luck!

Kel said...

It's your blog honey and you can blog about whatever you want!

Have a great 2009!
~K

Steph said...

I love reading about others journeys through motherhood keep the posts coming!

Amy said...

Oh my god, why do all my comments keep not showing up. You must hate me now and delete them, I cannot be that stupid that I've managed to not properly comment twice in one week!

Grandy said...

You are so cute...and so funny. I am sorry I've been absent but HOLY CRAP! YOU'RE PREGGERS!! I must be the last person in the bloggy world to congratulate you but...

WOO-FRICKIN-HOOOOOOO

Grandy said...

Shoot...I forgot to say what I came here for.

Happy New Year, Beautiful!!!

Krystyn said...

try to eat something before you get out of bed...it really helps!!!

and really, you will start to feel better soon.

~**Dawn**~ said...

It really is mind-bogglingly amazing that you are growing an actual baby, a real little human being, inside you, isn't it? It amazes me & I've never even experienced it.

Jaina said...

Oh April, I'm just so excited and happy for you. I hope the heaves go away and that you can start to eat more normally again soon. I love all your pregnancy updates :)