Friday, February 27, 2009

In honor of the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal: The Octo-Slam.
You get fourteen eggs, no sausage, and the guy
next to you has to pay the bill.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Some days I REALLY CAN'T F***ING STAND working for a big corporation. I miss the non-corp. days before the old owner sold.


And Keri, you made me giggle. I had to do a test post cuz my blog was acting all screwy. All my posts were GONE! *POOF*

THIS is where I want to be today. Cuddling, at home (please excuse the huge pile of dirty laundry in the hallway), with the sweetest of all my fuzzy-babies. Molly is the kitty and Tucker is the pooch. And they are not evil, even though those crazy-glowing eyes may say it.

I'm just really tired today (having more and more trouble sleeping lately. Between flip-flopping from my left to right side all night when one hip starts to ache, getting up to pee multiple times, and then waking up in a panic becuz I keep ending up on my back, a place I'm not supposed to be--I wake up exhausted every morning now. And I'm moody today for some reason. Feel like crying but honestly there is no reason behind that. Blah.

Oh! Speaking of my kitty, Molly, I have a favor to ask of you guys! Have any of you ever had your dog or cat suffer from a food allergy? Poor Molly has a problem that I've become aware of within the past week or so. Her fur at the base of her body, right before her tail, is sparse. It's not a bald spot, however the fur has thinned out. And starting there and going mid-way up her back, she has a red, spotted, scabby rash. I also felt more of it, this morning, when I was petting her up by the back of her neck.

I'm at a loss. I have not changed any cleaning products or anything in the house. All of my kitties are indoor kitties. The only thing I can think of is I slightly changed their food about 3 weeks ago. I always give them Purina One Indoor Advantage...the one for sensitive bellies that's made with yogurt, turkey etc. (one of my other kitties has a puking problem and this is the ONLY food that doesn't make her puke all the time). Anyway, about 3 weeks ago, I suddenly realized I was COMPLETELY out (bad cat-Mommy!) so on my lunch break I ran to the store. Which of course did NOT have the type of food I feed them. They DID have Purina but it was a different version. I bought it anyway, thinking, "Hey, it's the same brand, how different can it be?" Well not only is Bailey, Miss-Pukey, up to her old ways but now THIS with poor Molly. I really think it may be a food allergy.

I'm going out today to get the regular kind of cat food I always feed them, but I wanted to see other pet-owners opinions. Does it sound like a food allergy to you? She doesn't seem to be having any other problems, she's just as lovable and roams the house as usual. I figured I'd hold off on calling the vet (who will charge me an arm and a leg for a vet visit) until I switch her back to her normal food and see if that helps alleviate the problem. Does anyone have any suggestions though of anything I can put on her back to maybe help the healing process? Or should I just leave the area alone?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I am so happy!!

Happy that I made the switch...and it's a good one.

Daryl took me to my appointment yesterday with my new OB...and we both LOVE her. She is a very sweet lady who gave us more information the first twenty minutes of meeting her than my old doctor had given me in my entire four months of pregnancy, so far! She didn't rush us, even though I knew she was jamming...the waiting room was packed. All of her appointments seemed to be on time (except for ours, but part of that was my fault. We didn't show up early enough and we had a TON of paperwork to fill out. And then not all of my medical records had been faxed over from the old doctor so they were trying to get those all together).

She looked Daryl in the eye and included him in all the conversations which I GREATLY appreciated, since my old doctor barely acknowledged his existence (and the first appointment we had, he had even had the gall to ask Daryl, "What are you doing here?"). And that used to piss me off becuz this is HIS baby as well as mine, and he is concerned about ME, his wife's, health. She asked Daryl his medical history, something the old doctor NEVER did. She had me pee in a cup (to check for proteins in my urine, etc) which again is something my old doctor NEVER did.

And this may sound totally silly to some, but, when she was locating the baby's heartbeat and got it, the doctor said something like "Oh there you are, little pumpkin" and my heart just melted. I felt like my old doctor never acknowledged our baby as anything other than an "it" or a "thing" and that frustrated me to no end. And here was this new doctor, this woman who we had never met before yesterday, who seemed so warm and maternal and I think this is EXACTLY what I've been needing!

"Your pregnancy should be a fun experience." She told me, after Daryl explained how I would cry about the appointments with the old doctor. I nodded and thanked her for saying that. We left on such an upbeat attitude and I felt practically giddy.

Oh, and the best part? In TWO WEEKS we can find out the sex of the baby!! I can hardly wait, I'm so excited!

So, in closing, thank you ALL for helping/suggesting/pushing me to find a new doctor. I hate change, am afraid of it, despite always knowing that it is usually for the better. I just wish I had done this sooner!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

16 weeks: Our little Cashew
(Holy crap! 16 weeks already?!?)

Your Baby This Coming Week

Your baby now weighs more than the surrounding placenta. She measures about 4.4 to 4.8 inches (about 11 to 12cm) from crown to rump and weighs about 3.5 ounces (100g). She is positioned halfway between your pubic bone and your navel.

Fat, which is important for your baby's metabolism and heat production is beginning to form around this time.

The placenta, which will weigh more than a pound at full term, is also developing rapidly. It is now a large and well-established network of blood vessels responsible for exchanging nutrients and waste to support your baby.

P.S. I included a pic to show approximately how big our baby now is, measurement crown to rump (for those of you who aren't familiar with the crown to rump measurement, this does not include the measurement of the legs).

When I measured it out on a piece of paper and laid my pen next to the line I had drawn, I could not believe my eyes!!

This kid is growing like crazy!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

What a Saturday!!

It started off like any other day. I had lunch plans with the girls, and then Daryl and I had dinner plans with some friends. Since we were up early we figured we'd go to breakfast at a local diner and while there, Daryl said, "Let's go to Lowe's afterwards."

The beginning of the end. Heh heh. (I know this is going to be a long post but stick around! It will included video AND pictures!)

At Lowe's we purchased some 2x4's, plywood, various screws, nails, shims and a new door for the sun porch.

Have I told you our plans for the sun porch? If not, let me digress a moment. Our sun porch is off the side of the kitchen. Our house is super tiny, which means our KITCHEN is tiny. We've had the idea for quite some time to utilize the extra space by making the sun porch part of our kitchen. Daryl's friend and also his uncle, both carpenters, said it was great idea. This is something we've been wanting to do before we even got pregnant to make more space for baby and baby STUFF, but like most things in life, it got pushed off. Now that I'm four months pregnant, we thought,"Hmm...not a lot of time to get this project going!" The other change we'll be making which I'm even MORE excited about? Daryl's uncle, who has his own business as a custom-cabinet maker and d kitchens, was going to update and replace all our kitchen cabinets and counter tops. WOO HOO! We'll be also knocking out the wall in between the kitchen and sun porch so that the kitchen will have more space as well.

Basically, we'll have a brand-new kitchen!

Anyway, back to the story. Daryl's plan was to start on the sun porch himself, by replacing the two chintzy doors out there now (one facing the front of the house, the other facing the back yard) becuz they are not normal house doors. They are both small, sort of like screen doors, and once the sun porch is part of the kitchen, we need secure doors so that no one can break in!

As Big D begins the process, we realize something. There is rotted wood. A LOT of rotted wood. At first he thought it was termites (as you'll hear me lament in the video) but then comes to the realization that it is water damage. And the wall is totally shot. It literally crumbles away beneath his tools.

Not good.

This meant we were going to have to replace the ENTIRE wall, and not stick with our original plan which was to re-frame for a bigger door, and then sheet rock over the existing wall frame. So first I'll post the video before it starts to go bad. LOL

As you can see, this project was slowly starting to turn into WAY more work than it was originally intended to be! A little while later after I left Big D alone to do his work (cuz like I said, I don't do manual labor) I hear something kinda like, "Oh my god. That's not good." And next thing I know I see him on his cell phone speaking quickly with someone. He comes into the kitchen where I am and said, "Well, Uncle Rob is on his way. We have a problem." Since I'm totally not technical when it comes to home renovations, I'm just going to say, one side of the roof on the sun porch was starting to slowly fall. Daryl had it propped up with one lonely 2x4.

So Uncle Rob (and family) showed up and we made it a party. I ordered pizza and entertained the rest of the family while THIS went on:

I told Daryl he looks dead sexy with his mask on. This is after he and Uncle Rob took down two windows, a door, and the rest of the wall.
The guys worked diligently for HOURS.

Here is one of our new windows. One down, two more to go. And THEN a sliding glass door. I'm MOST excited about that!
So needless to say, we now have a wall and a new window. Which leaves two other walls to contend with (and who knows what condition they are in. I'm assuming if one is rotted, they most likely all are). Until Daryl's uncle comes back to lend a hand, Daryl will in the meantime put up some insulation on the completed wall and probably also started working on the heat for this room (both of which will be a snap for him). Needless to say, with the unexpected costs that have sprung up, my wish for central a/c this spring/summer is now on hold (Daryl was going to put it in himself so free labor, but parts would still be about $800).
But for a brand new kitchen? I'll forgo central a/c and live with my shitty window rattlin' units for now. SO here is where we are for now. Be prepared peeps, more renovation posts to come!! (INCLUDING the baby's room which will also be a lot of work. Oy! I'm tired already and I am not even the one doing it!)

Friday, February 20, 2009


I have often wondered in the past four months, how I could love (so much) a little baby inside of me. A baby who I've never met, never held, never smelled, never touched. A baby I have yet to feel kick or move within me.

I have often wondered what is it, that could make a mother's heart expand so much in such a short time, about this little being that is growing, growing inside, still tiny, small enough to fit into the palm of my hand.

I keep hearing that I won't know "true love" until the moment I've laid eyes on my child after he or she enters the world. But if that is so, how does it explain the way I feel now? The ever-growing, intense love I feel now for this child, sight unseen?

And then today I stumbled across this blog (<---click there to read it), and this woman's heart-breaking end to her nine-month journey of love. She will never get to hear little Aiden's cry. She will never get to watch his newborn chest rise and fall. He became an Angel before she had that chance. And yet her love was true before she ever laid eyes on him, before she held his still form in her arms. She shared nine months cultivating this love, like a beautiful flower, allowing it to blossom and bloom. I know some people may not agree with me but in my opinion, I became a Mother the moment that second pink line showed up before my disbelieving eyes. I fell in love before my child even looked like a child.

I bawled like a little baby while reading Cynthiaa's story. And while I found it initially so upsetting and heart-wrenching what happened to little Aiden, I now see that no matter what we all serve a purpose. The unbelievable support she has received from all over the world, the lives that her little Aiden-Bug has touched, is immeasurable. It reminds me to cherish each and every moment of this pregnancy becuz God knows things could change in an instant. I promise my little Cashew, to continue to embrace every day I have with him or her, becuz you just never know when it will be your last.

There is nothing more beautiful
than a
Mother's Love for her child.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I know it's Wednesday but I'm JUST getting around to posting about my weekend.

It was a busy one!

It's obvious I'm feeling better, cuz we did more this weekend than I've done the entire past four months!

Late Friday Daryl informed me we were going over his coworkers house for pizza and to hang out so even though I was tired after a LONG work day, I agreed. Big D almost never makes the plans so I didn't want to tell him 'no'. Met a couple of new people (mostly the girlfriend and wife of two of his coworker/friends) and we hung out till about nine until I knew my body was crashing. Time for bed!

Saturday we were up and about early-ish. We had Timber's puppy class at eleven so we stopped at Panera for bagels first. I almost threw a tantrum becuz they were completely out of my favorite bagel, Asiago. Bummer. I've become so very demanding now when it comes to my food. Don't mess with me when I'm hungry!! Heh.

After class it was off to get my hair chopped at my aunt's salon! I brought a picture of a style I liked and told her to cut away! I'm sorry about the crappy shots (front and back), I took them on my cell phone and they came out a tad grainy. Also got the 'ol brows waxed thank GAWD. I felt like a million dollars when we finally left the salon. And Big D told me I looked hot. Good husband. Grabbed lunch then ran home to shower and get ready to go out.

We didn't have Valentine's Day be perfectly honest I kept forgetting it even WAS Valentine's Day. I decided we weren't going to buy gifts this year cuz we money is tight and I just couldn't justify it. So instead we opted to go out for pizza and a movie with Sarah and her hubby, Brian. Sarah is hugely pregnant right now ( believe her due date is in a couple more days) and she's been having lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions lately but we weren't worried. I brought our new Fetal Doppler over and Dr. Daryl used it to find Sarah's baby's heartbeat (we thought it would be SO easy to find but of course the baby is down low, in position, and moving around like a squirmy worm, so it took about 20 minutes for him to locate the heartbeat). So then the two preggo's were starving so off we went to eat our delicious Sicilian was so thick we could only eat one piece each! We went to see Friday the 13th afterwards with lots of candy in tow. I ate a box of Junior Mints, my favorite and Big D had Black Forest gummy worms...SO good. The movie was okay...not quite a "remake" like I thought it would be...and DAMN was there ever a lot of young, blond boobage! LOL Typical horror-movie I guess, right?

Sunday, up pretty early after my brother Sean called to say he was at the truck stop in Southington (he is a truck driver who doesn't normally work around home...he drives more out on the west coast) and could he take Daisy overnight? I think he wanted some company for his ride to Mass. So we bundled up Daisy into the truck and off we went. She LOVED being in the truck, this little tiny black and white 20-pound dog peering out of the window from the high passenger seat. It was hysterical! I wish I had my camera! We brought my brother a coffee then left to go run some errands.

We decided to start our baby registry this weekend becuz my MIL, who is throwing us a Jack and Jill (our choice!) baby shower this June has been asking for our registry info (she is planning out the invites). I feel bad that she lives three hours away, in NY, cuz I sometimes worry she will feel disconnected from this whole process. She is so excited over the upcoming birth of her first grandchild that I know she just wants to be as involved as she can, despite being 3 hours away! So I try to keep her involved by email as much as I can with all the pregnancy and baby-goings-on! So Big D and I headed to Babies R Us with the plan to just start the registry and maybe put like 4 items on it, and then come back to it at a later date. But at least we would have started it and gotten the cards that MIL can put in the invites, when the time comes.

Since Babies R Us didn't open till eleven and we still had an hour to wait, we hit up Borders where both of us went our separate ways, browsing the store. I ended up buying Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart. Finally it was time to go to BRU and Daryl was like a kid in a candy store. I thought for sure he'd be "bored" but oh no...he was in position of the "gun" and a Daddy-on-a-mission. He had already researched a couple of items (namely car seats and strollers) so he knew exactly what he wanted so we put that and a couple other items on the registry. We had an appointment at noon though so we had to hustle and before long, it was ten of twelve and we still had a good 15 minute ride ahead of us! Ran to our next errand, then the grocery store to get stuff for me to make Death by Chocolate, then home to whip it together and change clothes and head off AGAIN. We had dinner plans over Joe and Erin's, always a good time, and as usual Erin made a deliciously yummy meal! Preggo Mama was especially pleased. :-) We went downstairs to Joe's killer media room where we watched our movie on a giant movie screen. After dessert, I fell asleep on the couch, while Daryl and Joe and Erin's dog, Enzo, cuddled beside me (Enzo is in LOVE with Daryl! LOL) so we decided to call it an early night.

Monday, President's Day, both Big D and I were blissfully off from work. That doesn't always happen that we're both off (unless it's a MAJOR holiday like Christmas) so we were happy! The plan was to do absolutely nothing and just veg out all day. Did that happen? Of course not! We ran to a place called House of Doors, filled with just--you guessed it--doors. We are going to be making our current sun porch (not heated) part of the kitchen and it will take some work. But first and foremost, we need to replace the two cheap-ish, doors that are out there now. We need something much sturdier for when that room is part of the kitchen. We didn't like their prices so headed to Lowe's and checked them out there, and also did some "wishful" window-shopping, where Big D and I stroll through the store and point out things we WISH we could buy. Daryl=new grill. Me=beautiful patio furniture. Neither of which will be happening this year! Ha!

I was craving a cheeseburger so after that we headed to Ruby Tuesday's where I could stuff my face. Since it was in the mall, I asked Daryl if he'd mind taking a run up to the maternity store with me. I wanted to pick up a couple of maternity shirts. Three shirts later, we were done in the mall and heading to Circuit City just for ha-ha's, since the store is closing and we wondered if there were any good deals. I got one of my favorite movies ever: (DON'T LAUGH! I love it!!)
Labyrinth for $5.00!!!! I've loved this movie as a child, have always been fascinated by it, and I love David Bowie's character! I'm a freak, what can I say. Anyway, by the time our errands ended, it was about four thirty, five, and we were back home. FINALLY, FINALLY we got to veg out for a few hours before bed!

All in all, I had a great--mostly spontaneous since half of our plans were last minute--weekend, spent too much money and did not feel bad about it! Both Big D and I realize that we should enjoy these types of days/weekends while we still can before Baby Cashew plays a more prominent role. ;-)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

15 weeks: Our little Cashew

Your Baby This Coming Week

Fine hair called lanugo covers your baby, who now measures about 4.3 to 4.6 inches (10.8 to 11.6cm) from crown to rump and weighs about 2.8 ounces (80g).

Fingernails are well formed and the arms and legs may be seen moving on an ultrasound. Your baby already has his own unique fingerprint pattern!

Your baby can hold his head erect and he can also make faces with his slightly developed facial muscles. Your baby may practice squinting, frowning and opening and closing his mouth.

Your baby's bones have enough calcium deposits to show on an X-ray. If your baby is female, her ovaries will be in place in her pelvis and more than five million ova (some of which may be fertilized to become your own grandchildren in another generation!) have formed.

P.S. For the fruit referencers out there, Baby Cashew is now about the size of an apple or a navel orange!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I really love this sound.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing it. :-)

Friday, February 13, 2009


Having a crappy day.
Even though its Friday and almost the start of my 3-day long weekend WITH some fun stuff planned here and there.

I'm dealing with a personal issue that is really frustrating to me, and when I get frustrated I get upset. And cry. And it doesn't help that I'm fighting off a cold (or whatever it is). Granted, this cold kicked Daryl's ass for almost 2 weeks and here it's only been like 2 days for me and already I'm feeling better (so I should stop bitching right?)...but add in the stuffy head and nose and runny, red-rimmed eyes that accompanies crying all morning?

Yeah, let's just say it sucks!

But I just want to say that despite this issue I'm dealing with, going through crappy stuff just reinforces how happy I am to have some people in my life to help me deal.

My husband. The man may drive me absolutely bonkers some days, and I have to walk around the house cleaning up after him like a big child (hey, maybe he is preparing me? LOL) but when I'm down, he is the first one there to bring me back up. Whether it's a hug and a kiss, or comforting words over the phone. I'm reminded time and time again why I love this man so much.

My Mom. Another one who can sometimes make me want to bang my head on the wall and who doesn't hesitate to give me her opinion (which ALWAYS differs from my own) but yet when I need some information or guidance, she is right there for me. I may be an adult now and the dynamics of our relationship have changed somewhat, but there are days when I'm brought back in time and she is the Mom she was when I was a kid (which is not to say the Mom she is to me as an adult is bad, just different!).

My friends. I have a lot of friends. They are all important and special to me and each hold their own unique place in my heart. Every now and then when something comes up, I turn to a certain friend who may be better able to relate to what I'm going through/dealing with etc. Today that friend is Crystal. I've known Crystal since birth. Our mothers were friends since middle school. Becuz of this bond, we have often felt more like sisters than just mere friends. We've gone through our trials and tribulations and our friendship has DEFINITELY weathered some crazy storms, the worse being when we didn't speak and were mad at each other for a year and a half, but yet no matter what, like magnets, we attract back to each other. Today she was there for me, just to listen to me vent and release some much-needed emotion. And it felt like a release! I appreciated it so much! I appreciate her so much. I hope I am good enough at letting her know just how important her friendship is to me!

Anyway, my coworker is off to get pizza for lunch today...I haven't wanted pizza for WEEKS but today it just sounded right. So I'm going to enjoy my yummy lunch and then head into the weekend with a lighter heart.

P.S. It's nothing major going on, just some stuff I don't want to post about on my blog. Don't worry!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


My boobs are freakin' heavy.

My lovely ta-tas have definitely grown and then grown some more in the past 14 and a half weeks. If I thought they were big before? I was sadly mistaken. I will never make that mistake again, as I'm told they will just continue to morph in size.

Some days, I tell Daryl that I feel like I'm walking around with baby watermelons strapped to my chest. It's not the hugest deal (pun intended) that they are big, oh no, it's the fact that they feel like they weigh at least five pounds each. And that the headlights are ALWAYS on, if you know what I mean. And if you don't let me spell it out for you. My nipples. damn nipples are so sensitive now that all day long its a matter of trying to ignore the fabric of bra and shirt rubbing up against them. And it is extremely annoying.

I have gone from my usual 38D (yes, I think I told you once before, I have pretty big knockers) to now realizing that I have to, have to, have to get a new bra. I've been trying to hold out cuz my bras were older and sorta stretched out so in my perverse April-logic I thought I'd have more time to grow in them.

Well, I was wrong.

While the cup size is not bad right now and I could continue to deal with it if it was necessary, what I can't deal with is how tight the band feels around my body. Ugh! I feel like I'm being squeezed. ALL. DAMN. DAY.

And becuz my boobs are so freakin' heavy, it just makes that squeezy-feeling worse as gravity takes its toll all day long. Some days, I will admit, when no one is around my desk? I rest my whole chest on my desktop. Aaaahhhh, temporary relief. Of course it doesn't look very professional if I'm caught in the act. Or my other favorite past time? When I run up and down the stairs at work, I make sure to hold them tight against me. It may look crazy but it sure as hell doesn't hurt!

So it is now time. Time to invest in some new (inexpensive) bras. I stress the inexpensive cuz lord knows how long I'll be wearing them till my boobies grow another size! Lord have mercy!
At this rate, I'll be able to breast feed an entire army of hungry babies. Ha! Kidding.

And yes, I just wrote an entire post about my "girls". But good gawd, they are so heavy.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sorry I've been so lax in the posts lately, peeps. I haven't really had anything super exciting to blog about (and I certainly don't want to bore you all with the ins and outs of my pregnancy...hell, we still got five and a half months left to talk about it!) so I just took the route of not really blogging!

But I miss you all dearly, so here I am!

And sorry this next bit IS pregnancy-related but I think I failed to mention: I made an appointment with my new doctor! I'm so psyched about it and feel like a huge load has been taken off my shoulders. I've heard such rave reviews about this WOMAN doctor ("She's a sweetheart" or "She gives you lots of information" or "She never rushes you out of an appointment" or "You will just love her!!") so even though I've never met her yet, I still feel like it will be such a huge improvement over my last doctor! By the way, when I ran into my old doctor's last Friday to ask to fill out the medical release form and ask them to fax the info to my new doctor, the nurse snottily replied, "Well, you do realize it's not going to be done TODAY, right?" I wanted to be like, "Thank you, bitch, thank you. You have just re-confirmed for me why I am leaving this office!"

Another pregnancy side note, but one that makes me weight gain. So far I've still only gained 5-ish pounds! I must admit I packed on the five pounds really early on--and it had fluctuated up and down a pound or two for about 2-3 weeks--so I was mildly panicking. My goal is to try to still eat somewhat healthy throughout this pregnancy and not gain more than I "should". For those who don't know me in IRL, I went into this overweight. I wouldn't say I'm HUGE cuz my height helps me balance it all out (no one EVER correctly guesses my weight, and for that I'm thankful! LOL), however, I was trying to lose at least 20 lbs. before getting pregnant (but I really could have stood to lose 25-30 lbs). And obviously that didn't happen. Ha! So my fear this whole time has been that I would use pregnancy as an excuse to eat and that my weight would get wildly out of control.

I know it's still early, but, I feel like I'm making good progress! I eat my three small meals a day (what helps is that I can ONLY eat small meals...I get insanely full much quicker now than I ever did) and I eat a snack in between each meal. I have my moments of "unhealthy" eating (potato chips, too much Italian bread with dinner) but for the most part I've been good about trying to make healthier choices! I've been big on yogurt, granola bars, apples with a dollop of peanut butter, bananas or oranges...and it's been satisfying most of my cravings! I haven't had pizza in weeks--I know, can you believe that?--and even chocolate has been pretty unappealing. So I'm taking advantage of that and trying to get in my fruits and veggies!

Let's see what else? I have a 3-day weekend coming up so I'm psyched about that. Daryl and I don't have a ton of plans either so we're going to hopefully get cracking on cleaning out the spare room (soon to be nursery). and I also want to go see--don't laugh, I LOVE horror movies--the new Friday the 13th but I'm thinking we'll save that for Sunday. I don't want to go the day it comes out which is this Friday the 13th, and I'm sure Saturday Valentine's Day the movie will be mobbed too, so Sunday seems like our best bet. We don't have any big plans for Valentine's Day and I'm perfectly fine with that. Daryl ordered us a Fetal Doppler online the other day and he had given me the choice of that or else we'd go out for a nice dinner on Valentine's Day, but I told him that is so over-rated. I'd rather stay home and make a nice yummy meal for us. One year I made Daryl lobster and he LOVED it. And I always usually try to make a heart-shaped dessert. Maybe this year I"ll do heart-shaped pancakes for a breakfast in bed.

Hmmm...oh and something to make my head swell today! I was feeling very fat and blah today (I hate my hair and can't wait to chop it all off this weekend so I pulled it back in a ponytail today) and as soon as I walked through the door my coworker B looked up and he said, "You look beautiful today!" Then I had two other coworkers tell me I looked "pretty" and "really nice" about a boost to the 'ol self esteem! As I get older I often think to myself "Ugh, I don't look as good anymore. I've gained weight, I have wrinkles, blah, blah, blah." but then when a day like today comes along, I happily think to myself, "Damn, I've still got it!" Ha ha!!

Monday, February 09, 2009

14 weeks: Our little Cashew

Your Baby This Coming Week

Your baby measures about 3.7 to 4.1 inches (about 9.3 to 10.3cm) from crown to rump and weighs about 1.75 ounces (50g).

Your baby's bones still consist of soft cartilage but they are now beginning to harden and the development of the bones and the marrow continues. Her ears are developing into a more recognizable shape and any hair already on the head and brows will become thicker.
Your baby may already be sucking her thumb.

Her skin is thin and translucent and all her blood vessels can be seen through it.
Her hair continues to grow on her head and her eyebrows. If her hair will be dark, the follicles will start to generate pigment to color her hair.

Your baby is moving more now and is becoming increasingly flexible. She can bend her arms at the elbows and wrists and she can make tiny fists with her hands.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Ugh. Being broke SUCKS ASS.

I was just on the phone with a bill collector trying to set up a payment arrangement to catch that shit up to date. One down, a million more to go, right?

I can only laugh, or else I'd cry. What keeps me sane is that I know everyone can empathize. We are in such a shitty time, a shitty economy, and I know most of us are feeling the burn! I feel bad for so many of my friends who I watch struggling on a daily basis. I've known at least a small handful of people that have gotten laid off within the past month or so.

It freakin' sucks!

But this is when I have to keep reminding myself: Daryl and I have a roof over our head. We have our health (although Big D needs a swift kick in the ass lately for not being as up on his diabetes meds as he should be! But that is fodder for another blog post). We have our active little Cashew on the way. We have our families and friends. We have great memories with those who are only here with us in spirit. Our fur-babies--as obnoxious as they can be sometimes--are healthy and give us lots of love and laughs. We have job security, something we are both insanely grateful for right now.

And despite being crazily stressed out about money and finances, especially with this little Cashew on the way, we still manage to maintain our silly senses of humor. I think the best characteristic of our relationship together? We never cease to make each other laugh.

So, yes, it could always be so, so much worse.

P.S. I spoke too soon, by the way, about the nausea being gone so Karma decided to come and bitch-slap me and remind me that SHE is in charge, not me. I've puked twice in the past three days. Yeah, baby.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

I got to hear the little Cashew's heartbeat today!!

It was such an emotional moment for me. I was literally on the verge of tears, ready to let them go, when a wave of guilt washed over me that Daryl could not be there to hear it with me (this is the first appointment he's had to miss due to his work schedule). And while I struggled to control my emotion the funniest thing happened, I started to laugh! Which made my belly jiggle and the doppler move around and the h/b got static-y so I tried to STOP laughing since I wasn't ready to stop hearing that rapid galloping beat! And my mom, who had come to the appointment with me, was totally in awe. She didn't expect to get to hear the heartbeat (neither of us did!) so it was an unexpected treat. I lamented the fact that my Big D was not there to hear it but the nurse assured me that we'd hear it at every appointment from then on (of course I'll be at another doctor's office by my next appointment, but I'm assuming they'd do that the same way). And she also told me that it sounds like a strong, healthy heartbeat which made me smile.

The doctor FINALLY got the measurement he needed and said everything looks good to him. We all kept chuckling at just how much the baby was moving around. I think this was the most active I'd seen him/her to date. Twisting, rolling, turning, arms and legs going a mile a minute. The doctor at one point said, "You have yourself a very active baby. And active is good!" So, it was super cute after we left the appointment, that my mom kept repeating almost like a mantra, "An active baby is a GOOD thing!"

I think my mom is now officially in love with her grandchild.

Anyway, I got a print out of the back of the baby's head and neck (since that's where the doctor spent most of the time focused on). It's a 4D shot and it's so cute....he or she has his/her arm up and covering the quarter section of the face that would have been visible, as if he or she is bashful of us looking. And the doctor, who of course was perfectly fine and nice during the appointment, made a second print out for my mom to take. I went and had blood drawn afterwards and then headed back to work, meanwhile wondering 'Am I making the right decision switching doctors?' Once I called Daryl he was like "Come on, April, you are switching! You have been miserable and you know this is how this doctor is. We'll have one visit where he's fine, and two more where he is cocky as hell, and I don't want you to be on this roller coaster of emotion and stress through out the pregnancy."

He is totally correct, of course. So, tomorrow I'll be stopping in his office on the way to work to tell them I need my medical records released to the new doctor's office.

Anyway, I swear, I feel like all I've been doing today is eating. And now the indigestion is killing me! If one more person tries to stuff a bite of something down my throat with the assurances of "It's okay, don't worry, you're pregnant!" I'm going to beat them over the head with the food item. Just becuz I'm pregnant does not mean I want to gain a bazillion pounds! What I WANT to ask after people say this, is, "Oh do YOU plan on carrying that extra 20-30 lbs. for me, after the baby is born? No, I didn't think so." So now I'm paying the price, and my tummy hurts. Ugh.

Ooh, on a side note, I had a massage yesterday! It was much needed. I wish I could get them more on a regular basis and with a licensed MT (instead of just with student therapists) cuz I'd love to work with one person who gets to know me and my body and all its quirks. But unfortuantely that is definitely out of my price range right now. And if we could afford it, I'd be signing up Big D first and foremost...that poor man has so many aches and pains due in part to his job but also from his motorcycle accident years ago. When he gets a massage I know it oftens gives him such great relief! Anyway, all I'm saying is I'd love to work on a regular basis with licensed MT. The students are great, don't get me wrong, but you start over "from scratch" essentially with every one since it's a different student every time. Yesterday came right at a good time though, cuz I've been having this pain in my low back on the right hand side...constant and not debilitating but definitely uncomfortable, so she worked that area good and I'm happy to report: no pain today!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

I'm frustrated and I have a stress-stomach ache... but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Went to my doctor's appointment last night and after waiting the prerequisite 45 minutes, they ushered us in. The first words out of the doctor's mouth as he brought up the baby on the ultrasound was, "Oh, this baby is already not cooperating." I wanted to instantly roll my eyes and tell him to lay off my kid. Instead I silently watched the screen.

After about 10-15 minutes of the doctor poking around and analyzing, he said he still could not get the measurement. So I asked, "What does this mean?"

"It means you need to come back on Thursday."

I immediately looked at Daryl whose face had tightened up and he looked disgusted. And then as if I wasn't irritated enough with the doctor, after I pulled my shirt back down and was still laying there while he randomly chatted with us about the damn weather (THE WEATHER? you can't give me information on my pregnancy but you can talk about the stupid mother-f'ing weather?), he RESTED HIS HAND ON MY THIGH. I wanted to swat it off in disgust. I am in no way saying he meant that as an inappropriate gesture--I mean hell, my husband is standing right there--but if it was meant as a "fatherly" gesture or something, he could shove that hand up his ass.

I am DONE with this man. DONE with his God-complex. DONE with his sarcasm, horrible bed-side manner and lack of time and interest in my pregnancy. Just plain DONE.

I did cry again in frustration today BUT we've made progress. I asked a couple more friends who I knew delivered somewhat locally (cuz the majority of my friends have delivered at Yale which is not SUPER far but in proximity to mine and Daryl's work, it's farther than we want to go). I called one of the OB-GYN's who my friend and her sister went to and loved AND it turns out that Daryl's' cousin went to as well. I briefly explained my situation to the woman who made the appointments and kinda hesitantly asked if I should keep the appointment with my current doctor on Thursday, just becuz the window for this test ends this Sunday. She agreed I should keep it but then said to have my medical records faxed over to the new doctor's office after all was said and done, and to call after to make an appointment. I breathed a huge sigh of relief to hear her say that.

While I am NOT looking forward to going back to the asshole-doctor again this Thursday, I feel better knowing I already have a plan in place to get OUT. And the hospital that my potential new doctor delivers out of has one of the best birthing centers in CT. I've heard/read many good things about them today after asking around and looking online. I'm not sure if Daryl will be able to go with me on Thursday...even though I know he would want to, he is trying to save up his PTO so that it accumulates for other more important appointments and for when the baby is born. So UGH, I might have to deal with this f'ing doctor myself on Thursday. But I'll deal. His time is almost done, thank goodness.

How am I doing otherwise? Not bad, not bad. No more nausea (unless I'm absolutely ravenous), not as much fatigue even though I still go to bed somewhat early. I've gotten into a pattern of going to bed and watching television around 9:00 and I enjoy it. I keep telling myself to take advantage of it now while I can. Sleep and rest while I CAN sleep and rest!

What else? My hips and lower back have started aching. My body pops and creaks a lot more so than usual when I get up from a chair/bed. Sleeping is a tad more uncomfortable, but not impossible. I am looking into a maternity pillow. (Kandi-I looked at Babies R Us this weekend for the Snoogle and wouldn't you know it, the damn store was freaking OUT of stock! Jerks! LOL) Oh, and the best part of all, everyone says that I should be peeing LESS now as I enter into the first trimester? Um, yeah, not me. I pee way more. I'm up about 3-5 times a night peeing. And during the day? I lose count. Also, I'm still waiting for this beautiful lustrous hair and fabulously glowing skin to kick in. Instead I still have my pizza-face and limp locks. In my face's defense, it has cleared up a TINY bit but just a tiny bit. And my hair? I'm ready to cut if off. For reals, yo. And don't tell me not to...this has been a long time in coming.

Otherwise? I feel great! I'm serious! I know that sounded like a lot of complaining, but I really do feel a lot better and that makes me very happy!!

Monday, February 02, 2009

13 weeks: Our baby Cashew

Your Baby This Coming Week

Your baby measures about 3.2 to 3.5 inches (7.6 to 8.9cm) from crown to rump and weighs about 0.9 ounces (25g). Your baby is now nourished by the placenta.

His face is developing and his cheeks and the bridge of his nose are appearing. His ears are moving from the sides of his neck to higher on his head and his eyes are moving closer together. Your baby's external genitals are now distinct and may be recognized on an ultrasound. Your baby will move away from stimuli near your tummy, such as noise and light.

Your baby's eyebrows have formed and a small amount of hair, called lanugo, has appeared all over his body. Lanugo, which will be shed before birth and replaced with the hairs with which your baby will be born, is thought to have a protective function.

Insulin is present in your baby's pancreas. Some bones may be well outlined. Your baby's thyroid gland, already developed by this week, begins to make hormones.

Baby boys begin to develop the prostate gland at this time and the ovaries of baby girls descend from the abdomen into the pelvis.