Friday, April 17, 2009

Insomnia really sucks.

It's 3:25am and I am sitting here in bed, wide awake, listening to the sounds of Big D lightly snoring, Tucker's small dog-breaths and whimpers and growls as he "runs with the pack" in his sleep, and the rough whisper of one of the cat's tongue as she patiently grooms herself in the hallway.

With perfect clarity I hear the whir of the lap top, the almost silent clicking (that I normally don't notice) of the cable box in our bedroom. The glowing sickly green light of the numerals on the alarm clock, normally blissfully ignored as I slumber away, now seem to be an annoyingly penetrating beacon of light in the bedroom. And my throat and eyes are dry as bones. That really has nothing to do with anything except for the fact that becuz I'm awake, I'm super aware of my itchy eye lids and my intense thirst. (excuse me while I gulp down half a glass of water!)


I don't normally suffer from insomnia. Before getting pregnant, I hardly ever had trouble sleeping. as a mater of fact, it was almost the joke between Daryl and I. He is a pretty light sleeper and often wakes up if a dog scratches too loudly, or a cat hacks up a hair ball, in the middle of the night. It takes him a lot longer to fall asleep whereas I am one of those people who lays her head on the pillow (often certain I'm going to read or watch a little tv) and is instantly unconscious. so we would joke about how I could sleep easily while poor Big D often was lucky to get enough hours of sleep in a night to carry him through a long work day.

Well, situations have now seemed to reverse. I know waking up a billion times a night to pee is one of the culprits--hell I wouldn't be awake to have freakin' insomnia if I hadn't gotten up to pee! But the problem now, often, is once I'm awake, I'm AWAKE and can not fall back asleep.

Unfortunately, tonight is one of those nights.

And when this happens, it's like my brain is on auto-pilot. Thoughts, worries and ideas whip rhythmically around and around in my brain and I can't seem to shut them off! Money stress, excitement over the baby, thoughts of what I need to accomplishing the next day/week/month, and most recently added is job stress. Not the typical job stress of course. This is all related to me having a child. My maternity leave, coverage, hours when I come back--there has been a lot of shit hitting the fan lately at work. And while I've done my fair share of crying and worrying about it lately, I finally feel like things are on the upswing. I don't want to jinx myself so I'm just going to leave it at that for now, until/if anything changes. But keep your fingers crossed for me!

And now to hopefully get my mind off work at fucking 3:30am in the morning, I'll leave you with a cute story about Daryl's cousins!! Both girls, the oldest Rian is ten years old, and the youngest Shayne just turned four. They were out shopping with their mom the other day--shopping for Hunter!!--when little Shayne threw a penny in a fountatin at the mall and made her wish.

She told her mom what her wish was, that she wished Baby Hunter could be born TODAY! But then, she immediately told her mom, so Rian reassured them that becuz Shayne told her her wish, it wouldn't come true.

So no worries! Baby Hunter will NOT be making his grand appearance....TODAY.

Damn, those kids crack me up!

Okay, I'm going to switch off the computer so wish me luck that I'll catch that elusive Zzzzzz-train. G'night, all!


PixieDust said...

Ugh.. I have always had trouble sleeping. I think I can almost count the days when I slept through without waking up a lot of times.. :)

Hehe, just imagined Hunter came today! One of my friends, who is quite big, only found out she was pregnant when she went into labour! I would crack up completely.

Anonymous said...

Unisom. I have the worst insomnia while pregnant, and especially this time around, I cannot shut off my brain, think happy thoughts, and drift off to sleep. My OB has no problem with it, and even recommends it if it is an ongoing problem. Hope this was a one time thing!

the cubicle's backporch said...

Yuck. I've been waking up worrying since I lost of my job. It's so hard to turn your brain off!!

Emily Jean said...

I had tons of problems sleeping the whole time I was pregnant! I saw many late night infomercials!!!

I hope you fell asleep and slept soundly!!!

Anonymous said...

I was never a great sleeper, and I would just lay for hours awake when I was pregnant. And it wasn't consistent. . .sometimes it'd take me two hours to fall asleep. Then sometimes I'd fall asleep, only to be awake for two hours in the middle of the night. Then I'd pass out exhausted at like 7, which doesn't lead to good sleep. It sucked even though I didn't have to go into work!

Stephanie said...

I was always a good sleeper too..until being pregnant :(
Hope you were able to get some sleep from 4:00 on! lol
Cute story about your nieces!!

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Thanks for checking out my blog! Congrats on the baby that's coming...and I guess I'm going to be screwed when the time comes for me to get pregnant, because I already have insomnia A LOT!

Laura B. said...

Oh girl...I feel your pain. I couldn't sleep Wednesday night either. I was up three or four times to pee, I couldn't get comfortable, Morey's belly was upset and he went out twice. It was one thing after another and I just couldn't sleep worth a darn. And that's so not me! I hope this was a one night thing and you can get back to some good sleep. We're going to need it because in a couple months we're not going to be getting much at all! :-D

Morgan said...

Ugh...hope you got some sleep! I never had problems with sleep until I got pregnant, but before I fell asleep and stayed asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Not to burst your bubble, but it only gets worse after the baby LOL! But then that will only get better with time too and it is all ~SO~ worth it!

Tabitha said...

I feel your pain ha ha !
It is almost 1am here and I am wide awake ~ I should be asleep as my daughter had a sleepover last night and I didn't get alot of sleep then~ but here I am sitting blogging!!
I suffered the same when I was pregnant ~ but never since then (until tonight of course ha ha !!) ~ hope you get that much needed sleep.
Love the story about the wish ~ kids are so funny.
Love and hugs tab XXX

Poltzie said...

I had insomnia too - drove me insaine! But I really do think that it prepares you for when the baby comes.
Also, I got really good at walking to the bathroom, sitting down, peeing, wiping, throwing the toilet paper in the toilet (ok, I wasn't always good at that part), flushing and walking back to bed while still mostly sleeping. You will too!!

Stephanie said...

One more of Nature's ways to get you ready for Hunter's arrival. It's been 5 years, and I can still navigate the house in the dark much better than my husband. :)

Trannyhead said...

I hate HATE pregnancy insomnia. You're so tired (because you're pregnant) and yet you can't sleep. It's just the worst. Ugh! I try for the Chamomile tea.

Jaina said...

Insomnia is never fun. I had it last night at about 2:45. I woke up to get water and pee...and didn't fall asleep again until 3:30. I was SO annoyed. I hope you got to sleep!