Thursday, April 30, 2009

WHY is it, that people feel like they can make comments about your weight (when you are pregnant) that they wouldn't normally make to your face otherwise?

I am not one who gets all bent out of shape usually over these comments. Yes, I have focused on my weight a bit but I have not been obsessed with it like I originally thought I would be, when I first got pregnant.

I'm actually pretty proud of myself and my big baby belly.

And I've heard quite a few things so far (and let me just state, none of it is malicious in any way..I'm certainly not insinuating that people are purposely trying to be mean) and I've been okay in letting these comments bounce of my (rather large and continuously growing) chest:

Are you sure you are not carrying twins in there?

You are that big

That shirt you are wearing makes you look EVEN BIGGER than usual, April!

Wow, you look like a house today--ha, ha, ha!

Yup, I've heard those and some others. I've just brushed them off with a laugh. Although I admit I've often felt the need to reply a tad defensively to these same people "Hey, I've only gained 15 pounds in six months. I think I'm doing pretty good." (and actually that may be more like 20 pounds now...I'll find out at my next doctor's appointment on Wednesday).

These comments all came from people I know. People who know me.

Well today marked my first comment from a stranger. And again let me stress, she wasn't being mean in the least, but, after I left I felt kind of annoyed. I went to the pharmacy to pick up my prenatal vitamins today.

The woman ringing me out gestured to my belly and said, "You're due soon, huh?" And funny enough, I didn't know what she meant at first, then I looked down at my burgeoning belly.

"Oh, heh, heh, no not soon enough. I'm due August 10th." I smiled back at her.

Her eyes widened and and she nodded knowingly before asking, "Are you having a boy?"

"Wow, yes! How did you know?" I asked. Thinking maybe it had to do with an old wive's tale or something....some of my friends think I'm carrying low.

"I had two boys, myself. I got huge, too, early on when I was pregnant."

Um, excuse me? Did you just insinuate I was "huge", bitch?

Yes, I'll admit it, I'm never going to be one of those cute, petite preggo's with their perfectly shaped basketball bellies...but damn it, I'm almost 5"8, I'm a larger girl to begin with, and I'VE ONLY GAINED 15 (20) POUNDS!!! WTF?!?!?!?

I basically just laughed it off with her, collected my shit, then scurried my FAT ass away from the counter. And immediately got mad at myself for letting this get to me.

For goodness sakes, I'm carrying a life within me, a life that my Big D and I created together, out of love. Why does it have to be about weight? Why does it have to be about "Ooh, she gained how much?"

I talked myself down from the annoyance and made it outside where I had to cross the parking lot. I passed exactly four men--three walking and one in a car---all of them checking me out. I started to swing my bags a little higher.

Obviously, "huge" or not, even with my big 'ol pregnant self---I still look good. Heh heh.


Aimée said...

Aww, I feel your pain, I was a LOT bigger than you to start with and by the time I was as pregnant with my son as you are yours, one of our neighbors in England asked if I was having quints. (it did NOT end there, just one example) I know what you mean though, some comments, you can kind of say "meh" to, and others just are eye popping. I for one think you look beautiful and are glowing!

(sorry for my lack of comments lately - I have been reading and love ALL of your posts and pictures!) xoxo

Keri said...

I think you looked damn HAWT when i saw you... RAWWRRRRRR....
oh, and honey, my arse gained over 50 pounds with both my early babies, so 20's a walk in the park.

and from here on out the comments 'well-meaning' people make just get worse... wait till Hunter's here and you get 'very' unwanted advice on everything! One woman actually chastised me for Ava's legs being bare in Nov... her freakin pants had ridden up while i was dashing into CVS...

Melissa said...

Oh hun, you look awesome! The glow coming off you in the pictures you post says it all. And pregnant women always look healthy...that's why men look when one walks by.

And anyone who gives you a hard time is just jealous they didn't look that good.

I agree with only gets worse from here...sorry, that's probably not what you wanted to hear.

How about this then...opinions are like assholes...everyone has one! :)

the cubicle's backporch said...

Yuck. That's all I can say. I've never said "Wow, you're huge!" I just always ask when the due date is.

People just don't think.

Kat said...

Ya know what, April? Some people just have no common sense. Seriously. You might as well get used to it. It will always be something. After you have the baby people will probably still make ridiculous comments. Except they will be aimed at your parenting. "Do you really think you should take your baby out in the sun?" "Don't you think you should put a hat on your baby?" "Your baby looks too cold!" "Your baby looks too hot!" BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

I think you look fabulous. And your weight gain is perfect for being 6 months!

Sweetly Single said...

You are beautiful!!!!! And all that matters is that you and Hunter are healthy.

And the rude people....well they are just worried that your water will break all over their toes

Fidgeting Gidget said...

My sister in law is about your height and when she was pregnant with her first, you couldn't even tell she was pregnant until she was 8 months along. She used to get pissed at people for the exact opposite reason...they always commented on how skinny she was and how it wasn't fair. I guess people just feel the need to say something, when in reality, if they can't say anything nice, they shouldn't say anything at all.

I think your baby belly is cute! Wear it proudly! :)

msprimadonna67 said...

Silly people sometimes feel the need to comment just to fill the silence. Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy the thought of the amazing miracle of love growing inside you.

Cecily R said...

People are weird.

You look lovely.

I can't believe I actually typed 'lovely'. I am a total dork.

But you still look lovely.

The Captain's Wife said...

I hate to say it will only get worse. As long as you are pleased fuck the rest of them.

I LOVED how my belly looked, how it felt to know that I had a living being inside of me...I worked hard to be healthy and keep my weight gain within reason, yet got all the same comments...and they got to me too.

Anonymous said...

Ha, nobody ever ased if I was having twins, even when I said I was 5 months pregnant but looked like 10 days overdue. Isn't that weird?

Stephanie said...

Your boobs, your belly, your attitude...ROCK!!! :)
Wear it all proudly girl! You look great and more importantly, feel great!
I know people can say things mean, but wait until they give you ALL the unwanted advice once Hunter gets here! lol
15-20 pounds is just fine for 6 months anyways!!!
Love ya girl...keep on cooking!!!

Anonymous said...

YAH why on earth DOES It have to come down to WEIGHT?!?!?! I mean WTH???!!!

GIRL..... I think you are fabulous all around. You look fantastic and you handled yourself with class and dignity. Keep it up. Your an inspiration to me, who is generally a sarcastic weeping mess from those kinds of comments.

Morgan said...

You look freaking awesome, dont listen to those people!

bekah said...

I think you look so cute! I wish I were showing! As is I have people rubbing my stomach already saying OOh I see a bump! And Im see my lunch. I am only 11 weeks along.

Anonymous said...

You look great, so no worries!

And as for stranger comments, have you endured the stranger belly grope, yet? I seriously thought about patting the chest (if a woman) or the groin (if a man) of the next person that groped my belly. And when I mentioned I didn't like being touched, since, hey, it is still my body, I had people tell me I was the one with the problem.

People seem to forget that although pregnancy is a wondrous miracle, it still involves the body of the woman carrying that baby. Hang in there!

Jaina said...

You're hot and we all know it. Sometimes people just don't think. ::hugs::

Bluevelvet24 said...

I hate when people are like that. It's bad enough when you are not pregnant and people ask if you are expecting. Twenty pounds is nothing. You are doing great! I had put on almost 30 pounds in seven weeks when I was pregnant. I had people tell me that I should lose weight when I was pregnant. Screw people. You are having a baby. Some people might be jealous because they can't get pregnant or they are single and no one wants them. A lot of people just like to be assholes. It must be the most wonderful thing in the world to know you are going to be a mom! Enjoy it and to hell with these people.

OHmommy said...

oh gosh... i can totally relate.

thta is why i plan on not ever getting prego again. people are assholes. seriously.

3 Peas in a Pod said...

I think people just talk and don't realize what they're saying. Has to be that. Otherwise people are plain old mean and I don't think they really are. People stay stupid stuff. When I was preggo & people said dumb stuff to me I always looked at it as a learning experience on what NOT to say to pregnant women. Geesh. Don't let anyone rain on your parade April. 15-20 lbs. is GREAT!!!!!!! You look awesome and you're glowing.

Much love from NJ,

Krystyn said...

People can be jerks. I guess I have to tell myself that most of the people making the comments were never preggo. That's the only logic I have for it.

But sadly, I think it only gets worse once the kid gets here...then it is parenting advice and comments about your kids (like, "oh they aren't missing a meal!"

Poltzie said...

yeah, that totally made me crazy too - I hear ya sister!