Monday, January 11, 2010


Parenthood is sometimes (okay, most of the time) exhausting.

I'm having with Hunter what I like to call the "Nap Wars".

Currently the score is Baby: 3, Mommy: 0.

And Mommy is losing it!!

It started a couple of weeks ago with Nap Problem #1!

It got to the point where Hunter had to literally be rocked to sleep for every single nap, otherwise he would not go to sleep in his crib (up until that point, I was able to rock him till he was groggy and lay him down that way, and he would go off to sleep on his own with his Mommy Bear (sounds of heartbeat) and his Rainforest Soother playing).

Mommy is getting tired of this becuz seeing as how Hunter only TAKES usually a 25 minute nap (the longest is 45 minutes but those are few and far between), I end up spending 15-20 minutes rocking and soothing him to sleep, and then by the time I start to do laundry or do the dishes or just RELAX he is waking up again! Argh! And yet I know he can nap for longer than that becuz in someones arms, he will sleep for a freakin' hour and a half! So that's my complaint, he won't soothe himself to sleep (I have to rock him till he's out) and then he only sleeps in his crib for like 25-ish minutes

And now the newest, Nap Problem #2, that started about 3 days ago?

Hunter WILL NOT NAP!!!! I rock him to "sleep" (I'm sure he's not fully out) and then gently lay him in his crib like always with his bear and soother on. Not even 10 or 12 minutes later, he is awake crying and whining his little heart out. So within the past day or so, after rereading the Baby Whisperer which says not to let him cry it out, I go in and put his paci back in his mouth and pat his back/belly or rub his head and "shhh-shhh-shhh" to try to soothe him back to sleep.

It doesn't freakin' work. He just cries and whines and screams and whines until I get so frustrated I take him back out. And then we end up with a cranky, tired baby who needs a nap but refuses to take one.

A little more background here. Hunter sleeps GREAT at night time. He goes to bed around seven p.m. and occasionally fusses a bit or "talks" but otherwise is able to soothe himself to sleep. We have a nap/bedtime routine that we follow: Diaper change, swaddle him up with one arm loose, pop in his paci, rock and soothe him and either talk/sing quietly a little bit after turning on his Bear and Soother, and then gently lay him in crib once he is asleep (or at bedtime, groggy). Then he sleeps through the night like a champ until approximately 6-7 a.m. the next morning.

I don't really know what else to do. Everyone keeps telling me to "stick with it" but stick with WHAT?? I feel like what I'm doing is not WORKING.

I'm frustrated and tired and exasperated.

Good thing he's so damn cute. I can't get mad at that face.


Stephanie said...

I know its hard, just try and be consistent in whatever you do. It may not work, but just get a schedule and see if you try it for a week! Something might start to catch on. Will he sleep in his bouncy chari or swing?!!?
So sorry babe that you are so exhausted..I promise it gets better!!

Birdee said...

I have noticed major changes in LO as he hit 4+ months. I think it's because we are funner than sleep, and it is exhausting. I see LO fighting to stay awake so he can be with us.
I'm so torn on the CIO method. I first off don't believe in it. My book "Healthy sleep happy child" or whatever it's called say's don’t let them CIO for any longer than an hour, AN HOUR!! I can't do an hour!. From what I remember reading, Baby whisper says there is nothing wrong with letting them cry for 5 to 20 min. Do you remember reading that? Maybe I'm getting my books mixed.
My problem - and i see it turning into a BIG problem eventually so I want to nip it in the bud right away - is he goes back to sleep after some soothing, but how much longer till he realizes crying = mom. UGH, so yeah, I think in my case, some crying may be very necessary. But it's so hard to listen to him cry, especially when I know a little soothing will put him back to sleep.
Well now he's waking every 2 hours in the night for some soothing. (Crap!) and I'm so tired too.
Well let me give you a little hope, my other baby is a teenager now and he was a lot harder to put to sleep as a baby (insisted on being held all the time). So they do grow out of it. ::wink::

April said...

Birdee, I just reread passages of The Baby Whisperer and she said she DOES not believe it letting them CIO, even for five minutes. I read this after the other day I let him CIO for 15-20 minutes at three different then I felt like a horrible mother. :-( But then I know there is another method that (forgot name) advocates letting them CIO for an hour. I can't even last more than 20 minutes?!??! How the heck can I do an hour? but someone on FF said it worked for her, I just don't know. I'm so frustrated. And like you, I don't want Hunter to think crying=Mommy picking him up. This is frustrating!

Laura B. said...

April, have you tried talking to your pediatrician? Honestly, Parker never naps in his bed when we're at home. He usually sleeps in his bouncy seat or on the floor. For some reason when I lay him in his crib to nap he wakes right up...go figure! Perhaps try him in his swing or bouncy seat and let him nap there...or even his car carrier...whatever works for him will help you tremendously and him too.

Cecily R said...

Sleep issues are HARD. I'm sorry and I wish I had some words of wisdom for you!

One thing I do know is that this too shall pass. My kids all had phases--in and out of good sleep patterns (Evie is currently in a crappy sleep phase).

Good luck April!

Anonymous said...

I think the first thing to figure out is what kind of child he is (like I should talk, Julia's still inconsistent in her naps, but at least she takes them now). Julia is SUPER NEEDY. So at first I did try the Baby Whisperer method of picking her up when she cried all the time at night.

And there's a difference in letting him cry it out, and letting him cry. There's a cry Julia has where we can tell, nothing is going to stop her except for us going to her. But there are other cries where it's a whiny, "I wish you'd come in here, but if you don't I may be okay." Or she'll cry for a minute, then shush for a bit, then start again.

But you just need to pick one method and try it for a week, and if it doesn't work, move on to something else. Not every method works for every child, so what worked for somebody else may not work for you. I mean, based on Gabrielle I could tell people "you don't need to sleep train, they'll start sleeping longer on their own." Because I did NOTHING to get her to sleep at night or nap, she just did it as she grew older. Julia's a work in progress!

Morgan said...

I laugh at this post because I can relate to it in so many ways! It gets hard sometimes, especially when there is some sleep being deprived lol! Hang in there, it gets better mommy! :)

K13 said...

I have no valuable tips to add as I had these same issues with Ethan way back when I was at home with him...occasionally i've been known to resort to taking a drive in the car as he ALWAYS falls asleep in there!

Jaina said...

I've never heard of the baby whisperer, so I'm not familiar with that. From my experience with my little brothers and cousins, if they know you will come in to them when they fuss, they will do it, nearly every time. I think it's more painful for the mother to let the baby just cry it out. I can't say for certain, but I suspect if you put him down to nap and let him cry it out, he will eventually fall asleep. It will be hard for you the first couple times, but he will eventually get it. Just a suggestion that I've seen in my family for schedules and whatnot. Everyone does things differently, this is just what I know.

Good luck April! I hope Hunter gets back to a regular nap schedule.

Krystyn said...

Oh, the battle of wills. Who is stronger?

Be consistent and you will prevail!

But, seriously, as our doctor said, a baby won't die from crying. So, don't rock him to sleep..the first couple times will suck (just turn the monitor off and work out or something)...but he will eventually understand that you are the mommy and you are the boss. Hugs!

Melissa said...

I think that's why God makes them so darn cute, huh? Without that I'm sure we would eat our young!!

I don't have have any advice since we didn't sleep until Hope was a year old...

The picture on top of the page is adorable...