Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Some thoughts on this pregnancy:

1. I would LOVE to have a little baby girl this time around. If I got my boy and a girl, I would feel like my childhood fantasy of having children is complete! Now mind you, if we find out I'm carrying another little boy, I would not be disappointed. I will be just as happy to have him! But we can always wish for something, right? ;-) I don't hold a lot of stock in the old wives tales, but based on how sick I've felt this time around (with Hunter I just had random bouts of nausea here and there, and occasionally puked when brushing my teeth. With this little Peanut, I had been feeling sick NONSTOP and I literally can not touch something to the tip of my tongue-- like my toothbrush or Hunter's binky when he plays his game of shoving it in my mouth--without it setting me off gagging and heaving. I have only puked ONCE, and quite possibly I had a stomach bug at the time, but I've come CLOSE to puking constantly and running to the toilet, dry heaving like crazy. It was never like this with Hunter.) SO...based on the extreme nausea, the majority of people are guessing GIRL. I, however, am not convinced. ;-)

2. I love the feeling of knowing I'm carrying this little Peanut in my belly, while simultaneously being able to carry his/her big brother in my arms. I swear, since getting my BFP, I feel like I've fallen into even deeper love with my little baby boy. I am constantly contemplating how far we've come to get to this point with Hunter...the incredible journey it took to get him here. The journey of conceiving and carrying that baby to term, to me, is just amazing. Awe-inspiring. And I'm thankful every single day that I get to do this again and I PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for another healthy, happy little Peanut to go with our sweet Cashew.

3. I think I'm a smarter, tougher pregnant Mama, this time around. I remember how naive I felt when Preggo with Hunter, not knowing what to expect, and what all the twinges, pains and feelings meant. This time around? *SHRUG* I kinda feel like "Old hat. I remember this." I know exactly what to expect as my body grows, and what labor will be like (I put this loosely, cuz obviously I realize no two labors are the same!) and while this is comforting, I also feel like it takes away a little of that special "newness" of being pregnant. I want this little Peanut to know just how much he/she is wanted and how much I appreciate being pregnant, so even though I don't feel like I NEED to reread all my pregnancy books, I did go out and buy another pregnancy journal. I loved keeping track of my moods/cravings/weight gain/feelings/thoughts all through-out Hunter's pregnancy and if I hadn't had this journal (which also chronicles day-by-day growth of the baby) there would have been a lot I'd have forgotten throughout my pregnancy with Hunter. So I want to be able to go back with this one and have those memories and thoughts at my fingertips, as well.

4. Damn, my boobies hurt! I feel the twinges and slight "pains" every single day. And I love to think "That's my milk ducts preparing for the hard, but rewarding, work ahead of them!" I do plan on nursing with this little Peanut but I have no idea how long. I feel happy to have been able to breast fed Hunter until he was six months (and until he started biting me--locking DOWN--on a regular basis despite me trying to "correct" this behavior) but I'm slightly worried I won't be able to do it this long with Baby #2. I will be going back to work almost immediately, most likely (6-8 weeks) which is so different than with Hunter since I had quit my job and was home with him exclusively for six MONTHS. And while, yes, I only work part time (approximately 5-6 hours a day, Monday through Thursday) it's going to be HARD to pump at this job. I work in a small but insanely busy Naturopathic Doctor's office. She has appointments scheduled approximately every half hour and with Hunter...I was a slow pumper. I would pump for like 20-30 minutes and STILL only get about 3-4 oz. max. I just don't see how this is going to work when I'm at the office, cuz I'm the only office person and the Dr. needs me to check patients in/out and sell supplements as people stop in. I would LOVE some advice on this from people who have had similar difficult work situations and how you made pumping work. I really don't want my milk supply to dry up too early! Advice? Thoughts? Suggestions?

5. At almost eleven weeks, I'M ALREADY SHOWING!! HOLY CRAP!! I've been deluding myself that no one notices my belly growing (cuz right now I know my uterus is probably not much bigger than an orange) and I've been a little down on myself, thinking "Look how FAT you are getting. THAT doesn't look like a preggo belly, just one who's eaten too many Oreos!". I am already in maternity pants, cuz the band on my own pants/jeans was so incredibly tight and painful that at the end of the day my stomach looked beet red, like someone beat me! Anyway, yesterday was the first time, I think I really acknowledged it: I'm starting to LOOK pregnant! First, my Mom made a comment right after I got dressed for work and she saw my belly. The shirt was a little tighter than what I'd been wearing lately so she was really able to see it and she said, "Wow, you're showing already!" I argued with her, no, no it's just fat. She disagreed, of course,and reminded me that SHE showed early on with her second pregnancy. Then I was sitting at work and checking out a patient when completely out of the blue she asked me, "Is this your first child?" I was slightly taken aback (like I always am when people presume someone is pregnant without really knowing) but quickly recovered and pointed to my belly and said, "Oh this one? Nope! This is my second, which I guess explains why my belly exploded within the past 2 weeks or so!"

6. Please, please tell me I'm not crazy??? Just within the past 3 days or so, I've been feeling FLUTTERS in my low, low belly. Is this insane? The baby is still so small, I can't possibly be feeling him/her already, right? RIGHT? But at the same time, I know what to expect, what to feel, when she/he moves and this is JUST like those early flutters I felt with Hunter. (Granted with him, I don't think I really KNEW for sure that's what it was till almost 19 weeks...before that I kept thinking it was just my blood pulsing. Or gas. LOL) Anyway, it's not a constant thing. I probably notice it maybe 1-2 times a day. Could this really be me feeling the baby so soon?

7. I need to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy becuz...sniff, sniff...this is most likely going to be my last. :-( Daryl is pretty adamant that he doesn't want any more children, after we have our second. And not becuz he doesn't want more children, but becuz financially, we would just be too strapped. And while i completely understand and agree with his practical thinking, I can't help but feel so sad that this will be it. I think unconsciously, I always had the thought I'd like three children. Growing up, it was me and my brother and I remember BEGGING my Mom to have another child becuz not only did I want a sister, but I wanted a sibling I was close to. My brother and I fought too much and he was never a loving sibling (and still isn't. At 33 and 32 years old, I'm sad to say we no longer stay in contact and he has NO INTEREST whatsoever in seeing my son. This is incredibly painful and hurts me more than he'll ever know. More about this in another post though. I don't want to hijack this post with my horrible sibling relationship!). So emotionally, my second pregnancy is bittersweet, knowing it's my last. But at the same time, I think it reminds me all too well of how precious this time is and how I need to appreciate it. Life is crazy with a one year old, a husband who works ALL the time and my part time job, but I still have take those quiet moments when I get them where I lay my hand on my (already burgeoning!) belly and send some love and health to the Peanut within.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Well, it's been a busy couple of weeks! Hunter turned ONE on August 4th and the day was very quiet and low-key. Daryl and I both worked so after work we did cake, just the three of us. It was so special to be together as just a family, celebrating the day our baby boy was born a year ago! (Warning...this post is VERY pic-heavy!!)

Someone obviously needed a bath after chocolate cake! The tub was filled with floating chocolate crumbs after I set him into it!

Then a week later, we had the big shindig with our family and friends. Party time!

We decorated the hall all morning and I was exhausted but pleased!

Then it was time to eat! We did BBQ and I think Daryl and I went a little buck-nutty with food. While Mommy was too stomach sick from morning sickness to eat much of anything, Hunter chowed down on hot dog, potato salad and cole slaw!
I think this look is, "Um, Mom? Where the heck did all my cole slaw go???"

And then on to the cake! I found this amazing woman in my town who bakes out of her home (about three or four of my friends use her) and the cake she made for us BLEW AWAY any expectations I had. I was floored. And it was DELISH.

Hunter wasn't exactly sure what to make of his smash cake at first. Um, hello? Frosting? Dig in, buddy!

GPa was so kind as to smoosh a handful of cake in Daddy's face during the cutting.
One of our friend's daughters, Eva, lost her VERY first tooth at Hunter's party!

I swear, every single time I try to take a family photo, my son is STUFFING HIS FACE.

With two spoons. LOL
Hunter was very spoiled with some awesome gifts! Clothes for Fall/Winter, lots of books, a couple videos, and Daddy's favorite...mucho trucks!

And then Mommy's favorite, pinata time! A lot of the kids were already gone by this point, so the ones who were left? Lucky, lucky kids!!

It was so cute watching Hunter scrounge around for candy as well, efven though he had no idea what it was!

And last, but not least, moonbounce house time. It was a loooong day of food and fun, with no afternoon nap for Hunter, so he relaxed in his Daddy's arms.

What a beautiful, fantastic day. WE LOVE YOU, HUNTER BABY!!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

I know a lot of you have already seen this on my facebook page but I'm gonna officially announce it here now.

I'm pregnant!!

Daryl and I are very happy to be expecting Baby #2, EDD March 19th, 2011. So my baby boy is going to be a big brother! I'm ecstatic.

After my early loss on Mother's Day, I've been very nervous and hesitant to share the news. We told some family and close friends but decided to wait to make any sort of "announcement" until my first prenatal appointment which was this past Friday.

I stared anxiously at the screen as the doctor performed the ultrasound and as soon as I saw that baby pop up, I squinted trying to make out the heartbeat. I couldn't see it and internally started to panic. The doctor was taking her sweet time on her end and hadn't said anything yet so I quickly asked,

"Is there a heartbeat?!!?"

"Oh yes!" She replied, and zoomed in on our little "peanut with nubs" (which is what I called him/her at the us) and there it was flickering gloriously away on the screen. 185, a nice strong and fast heartbeat. And then almost immediately, baby started to wiggle! Just like he/she was doing a dance for me, to reassure me, "Yes, Mommy. I'm still here."

"Everything looks perfect!" The doctor reassured me. According to my last period, I was 8w6d on Friday but based on the baby's growth she said 9w1d so not much difference. And if we used the due date based on baby's growth it would be...St. Patty's Day! Which is kinda cool considering I DO have some Irish in me.

Anyway, things are going well so far. I'm feeling MUCH sicker this pregnancy than my first. I'd say a good 3-5 times a day I'm really nauseous. I have to eat every two hours at least to help alleviate the nausea. Yesterday was by far the worst, and part of me is thinking it's becuz I overdid it this weekend with Hunter's big 1st birthday party on Saturday. All of Friday and Saturday I was on the go-go-go and barely sitting or eating/drinking enough (although that was in part due to the fact that food just doesn't appeal to me). So yesterday I stayed in pj's all day and felt like I was on the verge of puking at the SIGHT/THOUGHT of food all day. I DID eat some leftover Mexican dip and doritos at nine am cuz believe it or not, it was the only thing I could stomach. Go figure. I tried to eat a cracker and immediatley had to spit it back out. And finally around 2pm, I hurled. Ugh. But let me tell you I felt MUCH better afterwards and was finally able to get down some toast and ginger ale.

Despite the morning sickness though, I am so thankful! I am so happy.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Dear Hunter,

Oh my goodness, little man, you are now ONE YEAR OLD!!! One year ago today, at 6:14 pm (after 9 total hours of labor, only 30 minutes of it pushing), you entered this world red-faced and screaming and letting your presence be loudly known! And our lives have changed for the better becuz of it.

And you have changed so incredibly much from the days of "newborn Hunter" that Mommy often finds herself staring at you in amazement and surprise. Can it REALLY have been a year already?

You are off of formula now, buddy! Mommy and Daddy slowly weaned you and you're now drinking straight whole milk. You are an AWESOME eater, and so far you don't have any dislikes. Your favorite foods seem to be pizza, blueberries, broccoli and cheese (but then again we still haven't come across any foods that you actually dislike)! You drink your water from a sippy cup, both a regular one and the kind with straws. But you can also drink from Mommy's glass when she offers. And you had your first ice cream cone this month! You've had ice cream many times but this was the first time we offered it to you in a cone and you held it (and ate it) like such a big boy.

You dance (basically bobbing your torso and head and waving yours hands and arms around) all the time now when you hear music but especially when the music to your favorite shows--Handy Manny, Chuggington and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse--comes on the TV. You also LOVE music, period. If you hear a catchy tune on a commercial or on the radio, you will stop right in the middle of what you are doing to listen.

You now clap all the time. You love when Mommy and Daddy cheer you on when you are walking, and you immediately start clapping. And did I say walking? Yep, you are walking (and running practically) like a pro now, Hunter! You hardly ever crawl unless you want to get somewhere really fast and are too impatient to toddle there. But you walk all over the place now and Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you! Also, you are getting two of your molars in, slowly but surely. When Daddy first saw them, you were a cranky, drooling, crying mess (waking up screaming in the middle of the night, poor baby). But thankfully that first initial pain seems to have lessened a bit!

Your 12-month doctor's visit is coming up this week but we already know that right now you weigh 25 lbs. You wear 12-18 months in pants and 24 months, and even 2T, in pajamas and shirts. You need that extra room in the sleeves becuz of your big "muscled" arms. Heh heh. We still CD but when you wear disposable diapers (when we're out and about) you are still in a size 4.

Mommy and Daddy are SO excited about your 1st birthday party that is coming up! We rented an inexpensive hall near the lake where Great-Grandma's house is, and we're planning a big BBQ for family and friends. Mommy has a nice lady making your cake, and we got lots of great decorations in red and blue (and with a slight cupcake theme). It's going to be a fabulous day spent with all the people we love and who love YOU.

You just had your 1st year professional photos done this past weekend, little man, and we can't wait to see how they came out. You were such a good sport, posing, smiling and toddling around the set but I think Mommy and Daddy's favorites will be the Cake Smash shots! Daddy made you a small cake, shaped like a cupcake, and we let you go to town. You certainly love frosting, just like your Mom!

You enjoy watching Mommy on the laptop and often try to "type" yourself now. And you also try to pull the power cord out (and have sometimes succeeded, right when Mommy or Daddy have been in the middle of typing something). And when you play with your toys, most specifically your push toys and "trike" you often flip them over and analyze the wheels and bolts/screws holding everything together. You are very analytical. And you are also a little bruiser who gives Mommy mini heart attacks daily. You fell out of your crib this month (crawled and then fell) and hearing that thump was the SCARIEST moment of Mommy's life, to date. Thankfully, you were just fine, despite falling on hardwood floor. You giggled all throughout the doctor's visit as she poked and prodded. You are a little monkey! You've also managed to climb OVER one of our baby gates as well. That day, you managed to scare your Nana half to death!

So much has changed this past year, Hunter, that you are like a completely different baby. You still make Mommy and Daddy laugh multiple times a day and we always are sure to tell you that not only do we love you, but we are SO thankful for you and what you've brought to our lives. Keep flashing those adorable little teeth at us as you smile every day and shine those beautiful brown eyes at make your parents so happy.

This has been the best year of our lives, without a doubt, little man.


Love you always and forever,
Mommy and Daddy