Saturday, January 22, 2011

In all the drama that has been going on in my life lately, I feel bad that I haven't been able to update on little Avery's growth and progress in my belly!

Pregnancy is progressing along with ONE exhausted Mama at the helm. Hunter has been very clingy and needy with me lately (is it the age? He's just about 18 months now. OR maybe just from the last of his darn teeth poking through?) and OFTEN wants to be held and cuddled. I worry how Avery's arrival will affect the relationship he and I share. I will love him NO LESS, of course, but I won't be able to devote as much time to him as I do now. And that scares the crap out of me! How do/did you handle the sudden jarring change of juggling two children, when you'd become so accustomed to one?

New stretch marks are "blossoming" (ha!) what seems like daily across my stretched belly. With Hunter, I often joked that it looked like Tony the Tiger had scratched his way ACROSS my belly. And now with Avery, Daryl mentioned the other day that it looked like Freddy Kruger had raked his gloved talons DOWN the right side of my belly (Avery's favorite hang out spot is the right side).

Gotta love that Big D. LOL

The heartburn, while still here and annoying, has definitely died down in it's crazy intensity. I really FEEL for and have an empathetic appreciation for all of you who suffer from bad heartburn/reflux in general. I only get it while pregnant, and it makes me MISERABLE. The indigestion has picked up and Daryl so sweetly reminds me often how I burp like a truck driver and he can't WAIT till that part of it is over. Yeah, you and me both, buddy.

Suddenly what seems like overnight, I feel like Hunter is ten pounds heavier when I carry him. I asked Daryl about it and he assured me that it was just ME feeling that...Hunter felt no different to him. So it's DEFINITELY getting harder and harder to move around and carry things (toddlers!) the bigger I get.

We've already begun our biweekly appointments at the OBGYN. Last week's appointment, the Dr. went over the results for my 3-hour glucose test. While the results were slightly elevated (approx. 180), he said I did not have Gestational Diabetes. However, he said it wouldn't hurt to follow the diet the Diabetes Nutritionist could give me. Well, between no time with work and moving, and no babysitter, I have since decided not to go to the appointment with the nutritionist and I'm just going to make an effort on my own to cut back on the sugar. I KNOW what I'm eating that is causing the higher blood sugar level so there is no reason I can't cut it way back.

And on a great note, I'm measuring right on track! Belly was 31 inches at exactly 31 weeks (TODAY I hit 32 weeks, yikes) which is amazing to me...considering with Hunter's pregnancy I was measuring like 4-5 weeks AHEAD at this point. That's why I ended up with extra ultrasounds and worries about how big of a baby he'd be. I'm pretty convinced that my Avery girl is going to be about eight pounds, give or take (well, more give, LOL). That's my prediction! Her heartbeat sounded healthy and galloped right along at the visit, bringing a smile to my face.

Hard to believe we are getting down to the wire here. I had a moment, about 2 weeks ago, where I was driving home from work and baby girl was tumbling erratically around in my belly, like a pin ball, and I swear it's like it REALLY and TRULY hit me...we're HAVING ANOTHER BABY. I felt this momentary burst of pure PANIC wash over me and like an "OMG, what are we gonna do?" moment. Then I just started laughing. Has it really taken me this long to realize I'm going to have a second child? When I told Daryl about it, he smiled and said, "Welcome to my world."

We are thrilled about her arrival but I won't lie, I think we're both nervous about how it will affect the life the three of us have built together. I don't want to feel like I'm spread too thin and can't give enough of my time, attention and love to ANY of my family (Hunter, Avery and Daryl) so the juggling part will have to be learned, I guess. I know it will all work out though. I can't wait to become a Mommy for the second time, and the FIRST time to a sweet girl!

Avery, I've got your first pink dress ready and waiting (don't worry, I'm NOT going to be one of those Mommy's who dresses you in pink every day of your life, heh). I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and smell your skin and rub my thumb down your cheek. I can't wait to see whose nose you have (Daddy and Hunter's? Or Mommy's?) and if you are an outgoing, smiley baby like your brother or a shy little girl. I am so ready to meet you, honey!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I've been a little scarce around these bloggin' parts lately.

Life hasn't been easy.

We are currently in the process of moving. Moving, while eight months pregnant, royally sucks. Moving, with an active almost 18-month old getting into everything, also is not the smoothest way to do it.

However, I could easily live with both of those things if we were moving becuz we WANTED to. We're moving becuz we just can't afford the house anymore, and the upkeep that goes into owning a home. Money has definitely been tight ever since Hunter was born (oh, who am I kidding, before that even...but that was our own fault for not being very responsible with our finances) and it's certainly been a struggle.

But, laying awake at night for hours, your brain whirling around with thoughts of losing your home and a roof over your family's head? Well, that sucks the most. I know that's putting it mildly, but I figured out a while ago if I didn't make a joke out of it, I'd cry nonstop. (And there definitely were some days where I felt like that's ALL I did.)

Coming to the decision, though, was NOT an easy one. Looking at our little Cape, and the memories that have been built here, make me so very sad to leave on the terms that we are. I thought for sure when we eventually moved out of here that it would be a joyous occasion and it's started out as anything but.

I bought this house as a single, excited (but scared shitless) young twenty-something with no one's guidance but my own...feeling so immensely proud of the biggest decision I'd EVER made and knowing I'd done it all myself. I became a grown-up in this house. I met my Big D in this house, when he came to pick me up for our first (AWESOME) date....brought him home and pretty much, he never left. ;-) This home has seen so much sadness, but just as much, if not more, LOVE. Daryl and I laid in bed together that first night after realizing that a piece of paper said we were legally husband and wife, giggling like schoolkids and thinking how "funny" it sounded. We came home, exhausted but happy, me still poufy in my wedding dress that early evening after our actual wedding and drank wine/beer with friends and chowed down on pizza...then after everyone left and the beautiful silence set in, my hubby and I sat around in our pj's, looking at the mounds of gifts piled high in our little living room, feeling so blessed and smiling those silly grins at each other. We conceived both of our children in this house that had become our HOME. Brought Hunter home from the hospital, all tiny and wrinkled and sweet, and proudly showed him off to our family, friends, and our neighbors across the street. Watched Tucker grow from a little yellow bundle of puppy fluff into the big blockhead he is now, as he happily raced around our backyard each season. Made great friends with three of the neighbors who surround our home. We've poured a lot of blood, sweat and (money, LOL) tears into this house. And while it definitely has had it's faults, we wouldn't be the family we are today if NOT for the memories made within these walls.

I'll never forget the flooding basement (hearing Daryl step off the bottom step, followed by a SPLASH and "Son of a bitch!!!") and watching from the top of the basement stairs as the shop vac and a lone sneaker floated by. The field mice who so valiantly tried to take over our house (and washing machine!) and made me so crazy that I literally locked all three of my cats in the kitchen one night praying they'd catch them (and they didn't)! The cracked pipe that spewed raw sewage into my basement as my then-only-3 month of a boyfriend held his hands cupped over it trying to stop the flow, and dry-heaving while my mouth hung up in horror. Watching in shock as Daryl practically held the roof of the sun porch up with his bare hands, becuz when he'd taken out the door, the crumbling wood had finally given free! Crying some nights endlessly, as I missed my Dad and wished so hard he could see how far I'd come. Family dinners around our crappy, chipped and chewed up (courtesy of Daisy) table, dinners that weren't always easy with some of those family members stressing us out, heh. Arguments, tears, making up with Daryl and telling each other we love each other, and him kissing me goodbye every morning at the Cape's front door. Pacing the floors with a newborn, some days bawling my eyes out myself and watching my son grow and thrive.

The good, the bad, the ugly...all of it woven together into the tapestry of our home.

And now, we're leaving it.

But I have to acknowledge that it's not all bad. I've slowly come to the realization that this will be good for us. We will be renting Daryl's grandma's house at the lake, a place Daryl used to live for years and a place I've happily spent the last few summers sun-tanning and swimming in the lake's cool water. Yes, the bedrooms are not big and the two kids will have to share a room, but the additional living space more than makes up for that. The endless windows downstairs that spill in the sunshine. The joy I see in Hunter's face as he races from one end of the house to the other, giggling as his voice echoes and bounces happily around in the high ceilings.

Daryl and I will be sharing the bedroom that used to be his, the room that I remember sleeping in as a newly dating couple and snuggling together in his full size bed, thinking how lucky I was and how I was going to marry this man someday.

So, despite the stress of moving, and all the endless cleaning I've had to do (Daryl's grandma and Dad, who sometimes stayed there are NOT good house cleaners), and chasing after Hunter as he raced across newly mopped floors in his sock-feet, the end of pregnancy fatigue threatening to drag me down...I keep plugging through it. I keep at it becuz I know once it's all over, we can finally settle down and get our lives back on track. We've already made some changes in how we deal with the finances and Daryl and I both are happy with it. We have big plans for the future and for our children's lives.

No matter WHERE we are living, we will still keep this family thriving and happy! Home is what you make of it, right?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Winter Storm Benedict 1/12/11

We got a lot of snow! Living in New England, you kind of expect that, but the last few years (okay, more like TEN years) have been pretty weak in the snow department. We've only had one somewhat memorable storm that I only vaguely recall...back in 2006.

But yesterday brought me back to my childhood! Two feet of snow (and some parts of the state got about 30 inches)! Now THAT'S what I remember New England winters to be like.

Here is the view out of our bedroom window, and this was about 6:00ish am, so the storm hadn't dumped the worst of it yet (although it had been snowing all night).So, where did my front steps go? It looks like you can walk straight out of my house onto level ground, but there is a drop to the cement porch!I loved it! Although I was warmly ensconced in my home all day and not trying to manuever around in snow up to my neck (and higher) like poor Tucker, when he needed to do his business. Let's just say, my doggie had to poop REALLY bad yesterday...and he NEVER WENT. He normally doesn't mind the snow, but I don't think it's ever been as high as his head before (he is about four years old he's only been around for the weak winters).If dogs could talk, Tucker would probably be saying, "Dude. This sucks."Big D was snow blowing ALL DAY LONG. When it snows he not only snow blows our driveway, but 2-3 of our neighbors. So he did four around the neighborhood before I finally dragged him in for lunch. Then he had to load up the trailer and take his snow blower out to his grandparents house and do their driveway. Then he did the lake house's driveway. Seriously? I didn't really SEE the man till 5pm! He's a good egg, my hubby. (And I promise, he really DOES have legs...they're just kinda buried at the moment. Heh.) Oh, and those big white mounds behind him are the truck, car and his work van!
So, I feel like MY pictures really don't do it justice, but it was a good storm. More snow to come this weekend!!