Thoughts in my tumultuous brain....

2009-11-16T06:00:00.002-05:00

We pretty much stayed on track for last week's Menu Plan...there was only one day I didn't feel like cooking the pasta I'd planned so we threw a frozen pizza into the oven instead. But otherwise did great utilizing a lot of frozen meats and veggies, so that I didn't really spend much at the grocery store last week!

This week I've got a yummy week in store! If you'd like some more menu plan ideas go check this site out!

Oh and this past week I made a very tasty Pumpkin Bread that I wanted to share the recipe for. I enjoyed it so much that I'm going to make it again very soon. Enjoy!

Monday- Paula Deen's recipe for Bacon Cheeseburger Meatloaf. It looked SO good while she was making it that I salivated all over the TV screen. I'll probably whip up (pun intended!) some mashed potatoes and steamed corn, and Pillsbury crescent rolls, to go along with.

Tuesday- Whole wheat pasta, tomato sauce with sausage, and Texas Toast on the side. And since I always like to have at least one vegetable with dinner, I'll probably steam up some green beans.

Wednesday- A fabulously seasoned and marinated (with fresh garlic from a garlic farm) Pork Loin. Big D bartered with a chef he knows. He cleaned and serviced the guys boiler and in return got three of these yummy pork loins! I'll serve it with a delicious recipe I tried out over the weekend for Twice-Baked Sweet Potatoes.

Thursday- Another pork night, which doesn't bother me in the least. I love pork! I think I might try THIS SLOW-COOKER RECIPE but if I don't end up doing it, I'll have Big D grill up the chops. And we'll have it with Spanish rice and peas.

Friday-Free Night! Maybe pizza? I told Big D I really want to try doing a pizza on the grill, maybe with some onions and peppers on it. Ooh, and sausage? That sound delish!

2009-11-14T09:35:00.003-05:00

Just chillin' out on a Saturday morning in my drop-dead sexy (just ask Big D) flannel nightgown, listening to the sounds of white noise emitting from Hunter's swing as he rocks and naps.

Aaaaahhhhhh.....

Last night was fun! We had Lorelei over for dinner (this was her first time meeting baby boy!). I had a delicious glass of Merlot and boy did it hit the spot. As did dinner, Daryl grilled a pork loin (that a chef friend had already seasoned and marinated in fresh garlic from a GARLIC FARM. Who knew?) and I tried out a new recipe that was utterly fantastic...TWICE-BAKED SWEET POTATOES. Seriously, if you like (or LOVE, as I do) sweet potatoes? You. Must. Try. This. Recipe. Add in a side of steamed broccoli and you get a fabulously delicious meal.

My mouth is still watering at the thought of those sweet potatoes.

Not much else going on. Big D is out hunting this morning and then maybe we'll hit up BJ's (our friendly neighborhood warehouse store) later on. I'm DYING to go to the movies but since I know the second movie in the Twilight Saga, New Moon, is soon to come out (November 20th to be exact!) I'm saving up my babysitter usage for that night. I already told Big D not to make plans for that night!

Tomorrow will be low-key. I want to make breakfast for me and Big D, something yummy. There is some sweet-smelling maple bacon in the fridge calling my name. And at one, Hunter and I will be meeting with 'Chele at the 'Bucks for one of my all-time seasonal favorites...Gingerbread Lattes!

Daryl is heading out to work in the evening so my Mom may come over for a bit to visit. We'll probably watch a Christmas movie. Yes, you heard me right...is said CHRISTMAS MOVIE. I'm in the spirit, baby. Daryl and I will be going out to get our fresh Christmas tree the weekend of Thanksgiving (we're spending the weekend at his Mom and Step-Dad's but we will come home Saturday so that we can put up our tree that Sunday) and i can't wait! I'm ready to start sloooowly dragging out some of my Christmas decorations to start sprucing up the house.

AND I'm very excited. I recently ordered, and had it arrive the other day, Hunter's very first Christmas stocking! I have monogrammed stockings from L.L. Bean for me and Big D so I had to get our boy his own monogrammed stocking! I am so, so excited for Hunter's first Christmas. And the creation of new traditions as a family, as well as the traditions that Big D and I have celebrated the last four years!

2009-11-12T09:17:00.005-05:00

'Tis the season for...baking!

Yesterday it hit me. The baking-bug.

I am normally someone who loves baking but through-out my pregnancy I just did not have the energy. And now with a baby in the house, it's hard to fit it in, time wise.

But damn, do I miss it! The recipes, the ingredients, the mixing (ooh, how I love my Kitchen Aid Mixer! I will be eternally grateful to 'Chele!), the warmth and yummy smells that permeate the house.

Yesterday I decided to tackle a Pumpkin Bread. I love anything pumpkin-flavored so I knew this would be a hit. I did alter the recipe a bit. I threw in my favorite staple, chocolate chips (and Daryl, when he heard, said, "Eww, chocolate chips in a pumpkin bread?" to which I responded that "Everything tastes better with chocolate!") and I omitted the cream cheese filling ONLY becuz I didn't have any cream cheese and I wasn't about to run out to the store for one missing ingredient! But don't get me wrong, I would have loved the cream cheese filling! Mmmmmm....

Anyway, despite my hubby's lack of faith, my Pumpkin Bread with chocolate chips came out delish! I decided I will make another one for Thanksgiving (I'm also making pumpkin pie) to bring to Daryl's Mom and Step-Dad's. We'll be spending the holiday with them in NY. I can't wait!

If you are interested you can find the recipe HERE.

2009-11-10T10:16:00.004-05:00

I'm a tad sleepy.

My baby boy, Hunter (who had been sleeping through the night EVERY night for like a month and a half now) has taken to waking up a couple of times a night.

And I think it's my fault!

I decided about 4 or 5 days ago that I was going to change Hunter over from his swaddle blanket to a sleep sack. What brought it on is the morning Daryl walked into his nursery to check on him (he normally always woke me up in the morning with his little cries) and found Hunter with the swaddle around his ankles, turned completely around and facing his Mommy Bear, "talking" and giggling away as he waved his arms!

Hunter has been busting free of his swaddle for quite some time now but I was hesitant to stop using it, becuz he goes to sleep so nicely wrapped up all burrito-like. But here he was happy as a lark that morning, sucking on his little fists and fingers.

My other reason for deciding to use the sleep sack instead was due to Hunter's nighttime workouts...he is NEVER in the same position that I've laid him down in the night before. One night i went in to check on him cuz he was squawking a little bit...his poor head was wedged against the slats of the crib! And he was trying so hard to move that he almost completely rolled over to his belly. This wouldn't'have bothered me except for the fact that in the swaddle, he had no use of his arms or legs, and I worried about him smothering himself. (Yes, just call me anal Mommy.)

Anyway, the first night of the sleep sack I put Hunter into his crib with his Mommy Bear on, and his soother, and rubbed his belly. He flailed his free arms around for a bit and fussed but as soon as he realized he was able to stuff them into his mouth, he settled right down.

This might just work! I thought to myself, pleased, as I drifted off to sleep myself a few hours later. And then it began. The middle of the night crying that I'd almost (but not quite!) forgotten about! He'd flail his arms around and wake himself up so I kept going back in and soothing him and popping his pacifier in. And holy crap, was this kid moving all over the crib! I'd put him in the crib at night with his head at one side, then walk in hours later to find him with his head at the other end OR facing the side, right up against the slats again.

So obviously it wasn't going to be a quick adjustment to the sleep sack! Thankfully we are down from 4-5 wakings to only 1 a night, after almost a week. Last night, selfishly wanting sleep, I started to swaddle him back up but guilt took over when I thought about how he'd be cranky not being able to suck on his fists. So I left his little arms free.

And I woke up at 6:30am this morning to the sounds of giggles and cooing...no crying!

Let's hope this keeps up!

2009-11-09T00:05:00.001-05:00

Menu Plan Monday is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

I fell off the wagon for a while. Now that I am currently job-less, I'm looking for/at ways to cinch up our financial belt. I immediately remembered how much I enjoyed MPM and how it helped me to not only be better organized with my grocery list and in my pantry BUT it helped me to save money by not spending unnecessarily AND to not let food go to waste or spoil (I'm infamous for that).

So I'm welcoming myself back! Organization and savings some $, here I come!

Monday- Shepard's Pie (one of mine and Big D's easy and yummy favorites).

Tuesday- Grilled chicken, steamed veggie mix and Spanish rice & beans

Wednesday- Kielbasa and baked beans

Thursday- Whole wheat pasta with meat sauce, steamed green beans

Friday- I think I will leave Friday as our "free night" since often times we'll just pick at what's in the house. OR sometimes it's pizza night. Even cinching up that belt doesn't mean I can give up my beloved pizza!

Now here's a little treat for you (and me)! A free Dunkin Donuts coffee sample. Yum!

2009-11-05T18:30:00.001-05:00

I took a big step.

A big, scary step.

HUGE.

*gulp*

I quit my job.

Holy. Crap. This has been a long time in coming...something I've wanted to do for a while. But I could never get up the courage to make the change (I think I've mentioned before about my fear of change, despite the fact that the change always ends up being for the better).

I'm sure a lot of you remember me bitching about my job. You can catch up about some of it here and here or even here. (I have way more examples but I don't need inundate you with my whining, miserable work stress posts.)

My maternity leave has been winding to a close. I was supposed to go back November 23rd. Of course, I was having the "usual" new Mommy feelings about going back to work and leaving my baby. I've cried a boatload of tears over it. But unfortunately my job would not make any exceptions to my schedule. They said that they had no part time work for me. Fine. I sucked it up and told myself Just go back for now, but keep looking for part time work.

A phone call with my supervisor last week changed all that. I still don't feel comfortable going into details but let's just say, I was pissed off after I hung up that phone. I was angered and unhappy and uncomfortable about what I was going to be going back to on November 23rd. I shed some angry tears. Then Big D said the words that set it all in motion.

"Just quit, honey. I can't stand seeing you like this and that place makes you so unhappy. Just quit, and you can start looking for a part time job now."

The affect his words had on me was insane....it was like a crashing wave of relief washed over me. I wiped away the tears, looked down at my snoozing baby boy, and nodded.

It was time.

So here I am! Jobless, and mildly freaked out for a different reason.

But feeling so insanely relieved, calm and content, feelings I haven't had in such a long time.

And I couldn't be happier.

2009-11-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Hunter,

It's official. You are THREE MONTHS OLD.

Slow down your speedy growth, buster--Mommy and Daddy can barely keep up with you!

You have discovered your hands...and what an amazing discovery it IS for you, little man. Mommy laughs when she sees you trying to jam your whole fist into your mouth, and she often has to pry it out so that you don't gag yourself! And then when your thumb ended up in your mouth for the first time after one particular hand-sucking episode, it was like magic! Your eyes seemed to widen in surprise. You've almost gotten the knack of sucking your thumb but you still manage to sometimes poke yourself in the eye at the same time!

Mommy hates Elmo but can't help but sing the Elmo tune to you because it makes you smile or giggle...EVERY SINGLE TIME. So I've taken to inserting your name into it, instead of Elmo's: Da da da da, da da da da...Hunter's World! Your other favorite past time is listening to Mommy and Daddy say "Ma ma ma ma" or "Da da da da" to you. Not only do you laugh in response, but you then try to talk afterwards.

You love your baby swing; it's the only place you will nap for a consecutive 2-4 hours. Otherwise, if anyone tries to put you down for a nap in your crib or pack-n-play, you are KING of the cat-nappers! Ten to fifteen minutes after we've laid you down, you are awake and NOT happy to be there. Mommy's newest trick to try to get you to nap in your crib? It's called a "Mommy Bear"...a stuffed teddy bear that plays "sounds of the womb". It sounded kinda cheesy but man, oh man, it works! I've gotten you to take a 45 minute and even an hour nap so far in your crib! Nana and I were both SO excited the first day it happened.

You went to your first fair, the Durham Fair, and it seems you approved! Not only did you stay awake the entire time, but your eyes widened in surprise when you heard the cows mooing. Your second fair was the Portland Fair (much smaller!). Mommy carried you in the Baby Bjorn so you were able to look all around and Daddy showed you the truck pulls, making sure to tell you that he can't wait for you to get bigger so you can see and enjoy so much more at the fairs!

You've moved up to Size 2 diapers--our big boy! As of October 22nd, you weighed 15 lbs 3 oz. You also experienced your first cold this month, poor boy, and it involved a lot of sneezing, coughing and pghlem...yuck! You also managed to pass that cold on to Daddy but he didn't mind in the least.

You experienced your first Halloween, little man! You were the cutest Pumpkin around. Mommy took you to the mall with friends and we watched as the big kids trick-or-treated. Don't worry buddy, your time will come.

You now grab at things in front of you, Hunter, and Mommy loves to see the surprise on your face when you actually can squeeze it: it being Mommy or Daddy's fingers, a toy hanging above you, a blanket over you. If I cover you with a blanket, you immediately try to cram it into your mouth or pull it over your eyes and giggle.

Mommy knows she is blessed as she relishes every single moment with you, whether it's nursing you, singing a silly song, rocking you to sleep or just staring into your warm brown eyes. Daddy loves to come home from work at the end of the day to your happy, smiling face. You always look so excited to see him!

So much has changed in the past month little man, and you've grown so much, but one thing that hasn't changed is our love for you. Every day it grows stronger and every day we stare in amazement down at you, so happy you are a part of our lives, a part of our hearts.

Love you always,

Your Mommy and Daddy

2009-11-01T21:43:00.003-05:00

Happy (belated) Halloween, to all!

My tired little pumpkin...no morning nap becuz we were on the way to the mall for

their trick-or-treating Saturday morning.

Sophia the kitty, Julia the princess and Hunter the pumpkin. Cuties!

Mommy and Hunter in matching orange!

Group shot of the kids!

Poor little guy got so overheated in the insanely hot mall that Mama stripped off his cute jack-o-lantern sweatshirt. Oh well. And then he zonked out!

Enough of the pictures, you devil Mama-razzi!

My happy Halloween boy on his very first Halloween. :-)

Hope you all had a fabulous day!

And as if I don't torture him enough, here is Mister Bear (we didn't wear this on Halloween....it would have been too tight with his clothes underneath...but it was a gift at my baby shower so I at least wanted a picture to prove Hunter wore it at least once!)

2009-10-30T09:34:00.008-04:00

A little bit of Halloween and a preview of Thanksgiving...

We broke out the pumpkins last night for carving. It was a little bit different this year as we had to do it after diaper change and then just as we were about to begin, Hunter decided he wanted to eat, too. Then he started to get sleepy mid-way through his feeding so I realized I'd have pictures of a half-asleep child.

Anyway, here you go!

Start with two pumpkins, preferably orange but a green and orange mix will do.

Add in two cute boys.

First sit baby beside pumpkin and take a few quick shots before he falls asleep.

Then put sleepy baby to bed and immediately commence pumpkin-carving. Scoop out the guts, separate the seeds for roasting and let Daddy handle the sharp instruments.

Voila!

Wait to hear Hunter and Daryl's snores, fast asleep, before corralling Tucker over for some picture-fun!

Is this thing edible?

Okay, Mom, I posed. Now can I puh-leez eat the pumpkin seed that fell on the carpet??

And here is a little tidbit preview of the torture---uh, er, I mean fun--I have in store for dog and baby, this thanksgiving!

Note: No Dogs were embarrassed in the making of this blog post.

He was handsomely rewarded with dog cookies afterward!

2009-10-27T12:40:00.006-04:00

I'm so excited...spooooky Halloween is almost here!

Halloween is one of my most favorite holidays (the other favorite being, of course, Christmas).

I have to admit, due to having a newborn at home (when do you stop referring to them as newborns? I would say soon, right? LOL), has drastically taken away from my holiday decorating so far this year. Granted, I'd take my baby boy over decorating ANY day, if I had to make a choice.

Anyway, I just did some cutesy decorations around the house and some pumpkins on the front steps outside. And even though there was the potential for me to go absolutely wild costuming Hunter this year, I opted for a low-key and inexpensive costume. He's obviously still too little to trick-or-treat but I sure wasn't going to let that stop me from ANY costume for him!

I think Hunter is going to be a bumble-bee, providing his costume fits. It is a size 0-6 months and it seems a tad big but I haven't tried it on him yet so looks can be deceiving. If it doesn't fit I'll put him in one of the two cutesy hooded sleepers he got from my shower (one is a bear and the other is a moose, I think. Both hoods have ears).

Tonight Big D and I are going to start carving our pumpkins with Hunter! I can't wait, it's one of my favorite Halloween-past times.

Saturday morning I'll be taking Hunter to the local mall to meet with a few of my friends and their kids. The mall has trick-or-treating from 11am-1pm all around the mall so it will be fun to get some pictures of all the cute kids in their costumes. Later in the afternoon, we'll pop over and visit my Mom, Hunter's Nana, so she can see him in his costume. And in the evening, we're going to go with our friends Todd and Mindy (with their kids) over their friends house first for some hot cider and roasted chestnuts around a fire pit and then off to trick-or-treat!

I think Hunter's first Halloween will be fun!

Anyway, you know I can't leave you without a couple of cute baby boy pictures.

Smiling at his 5-year-old second-cousin, Shayne.

Trying out his Bumbo seat for the first time. Hunter is not quite sure what to make of it!

50% Mom and 50% Dad!

2009-10-22T10:32:00.004-04:00

Uh oh.

Someone has officially found his thumb!

And I love how he manages to flash the peace sign while simultaneously sucking his thumb. Ha! My boy's a multi-tasker, like his Mommy!

2009-10-20T21:29:00.011-04:00

Just figured I'd pop in and let you know that I'm still alive and ticking.

I've done a lot of thinking, and I just don't think it's depression (even with my history of it) or post partum that's got me down. I'm pretty sure it all completely stems from going back to work.

I've been trying to not focus so much on it, to not let myself count down the days, so that I don't spend every day depressed. Instead, I'm trying to enjoy each and every minute of my time at home with Hunter.

Granted, days like today are tough. The baby boy has his first cold and it's been almost a week now. I brought him to the pediatrician today--not becuz I'm a neurotic first time Mother but--becuz he was getting really pghlemy, like it was in his chest, and i wanted to make sure it wasn't anything worse than a cold. So between him being super cranky about that (and blowing snot bubbles out of his nose, poor thing!) and random bouts of debilitating gas (it's not constant and there is no rhyme or reason to it...I think he just has a sensitive belly like his Mama), some days are crazy.

Today was one of those crazy days. Pretty much anytime Hunter was awake, he was screaming bloody murder. Then he'd fall asleep in my arms for brief little cat naps and either wake up crying, or I'd gently put him down in his pack-n-play and he'd stay asleep for about 10 minutes then wake up shrieking. A couple of times as I paced the floors and 'shhh'ed' him and kissed his cheek and apologized for not being able to make him feel better, I just cried with him.

I even did something I never do. I called Daryl (who was working late for some OT) around 8:3opm, practically begging for him to tell me when he'd be home cuz I just couldn't get Hunter to stop crying. And just as Daddy walked through the door, Hunter pooped and it was like pure relief on the baby's face. He was suddenly all smiles and giggles.

But I am just so drained. I think there comes a point, on days like today, when you know you have reached your limit. I handed Hunter over to Big D once he started fussing becuz I just couldn't do it anymore today.

And since I don't have a ton of energy to write any witty posts, here are some bullets for you of stuff that's been going on lately:

Hunter met Santa Claus for the first time this weekend to go over his Christmas list. He was way more infatuated with Mrs. Claus, however, then going over what he wanted for gifts. Hunter is definitely a ladies man.

Daryl met today with a Diabetes dietitian and found out how he should be eating for his optimum health. And he found otu what he already knew, that he should be exercising. So our eating lifestyle is about to change. Why, you probably wonder, is MY eating lifestyle about to change? Becuz not only do I want to help support him and keep him healthy, but I realize that I need to keep MYSELF healthy as well. I know I had a baby only almost three months ago, but I'm so frustrated and disgusted wtih my body right now. I can LITERALLY only fit into one pair of jeans/pants and only a couple of my shirts. I have no idea what I will be wearing when I go back to work since I can't fit into anything. And I am feeling SO out of shape. I don't like that. And I don't like feeling fat, not one bit. So it's time for a change! Granted, I have no idea if this will help the new saggy, jelly belly and stretch marks, but at least if I lose some weight, I'll feel better about myself.

Spent some time with my in-laws this weekend...Daryl's mom and step dad came up from NY and they got some good quality Hunter-time in.

I made a decision for how I want to spend Christmas and it is a very UN-April like decision. I always try to cater to everyone else during the holidays and make sure we see as many family members as possible. But now that we have Hunter, things are different. I don't want the frantic holiday pace of running around and stressing out on Christmas Day. So Daryl's mom and step dad can come over and visit in the late morning (I'll make coffee and maybe throw some cinnamon rolls in the oven) to see their grandson on his first Christmas. And my Mom and her boyfriend will come over later in the day for the same reason and for a small, simple Christmas dinner. No fancy meals, no elaborate table decorations, no crazy afternoons with extended family. I want to really enjoy and remember my baby boy's first Christmas and spending it as our family of three without thinking of any stress and frantic running around. I normally would NEVER make this kind of decision but I'm proud of myself for doing it this year becuz its what will be right for my family! And who can argue with less stress?

My good friend Jessica had her baby almost two weeks ago and I STILL haven't met the newest little bundle. With Hunter's cold, I was nervous to go near Jess's newborn baby girl if there was even the slightest chance I could be catching the cold as well. But I'm feeling just fine in that regard so hopefully this weekend I will get to meet little Arianna! I'm very excited to meet one of Hunter's newest girlfriends.

My "little" man is now 15 lbs 3 oz. He is growing like a weed and I love to see just how much he changes every day. My chunky Monkey!
I LOVE holiday flavors! I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond the other day to get my K-Cup carousel (I have a Keurig Coffee Maker that I absolutely love) and i was ecstatic to see that the holiday flavored coffees were out! I already had pumpkin spice and butter toffee at home, but I ended up walking out the store with a box of mixed flavors: Spicy Eggnog, Gingerbread, Golden French Toast (MY FAVORITE!) and Holiday Blend. Daryl and I enjoy our yummy delicious cup of coffee every morning!
Daryl ran out to the grocery store last night for me, to get some dinner items. He walked back through the door with a bouquet of flowers. I was so pleasantly surprised. It's been quite some time since I got flowers and I forgot almost how much I love getting them. I love even more the reason..."I wanted to cheer you up, April." It worked honey. Thank you!
I love the fact that I now have "my shows" to get into each week on TV. It's been a while since I really followed religiously any programs. My newest obsessions are: "The Vampire Diaries" (and before anyone says this show hopped on the vampire bandwagon, the series is based on a young adult saga of novels that I read as a teenager and LOVED, by author L.J. Smith.) I fell in love with L.J. Smith's books way back when so I was so excited to realize that a TV show was spun off of one of her series! Granted, the plot of the series is a bit different from the book, but hey, it's TV, not a book so that doesn't bother me in the least. It's still entertaining. And now I'm hooked on the show. I even have turned Daryl over to the dark side. Heh. He eagerly tunes in each week with me now, although he probably isn't as smitten by the male vampires as I am. Mmmmm...Stefan and Damon! My other newest favorite is "Eastwick". I had absolutely NO interest in watching this show when I first saw the commercials. I stumbled upon the first episode accidentally one night when I was bored, wide-awake, while Daryl was working late. And now, I'm hooked! It's pure, silly, fun, mysterious, dramatic fluff...and that's why I enjoy it so much!
Last but not least, I love my three boys:

2009-10-14T21:08:00.005-04:00

Baby Blues?

I'm having a really hard time lately.

My maternity leave is winding to a close. I have to go back to work on November 9th and although most people keep telling me "Oh you still have like 4 weeks left?" I'm feeling like "Holy shit, I only have four weeks left?"

I cry every day.

Every. Single. Day.

For the first month and a half of my maternity leave, I was a cleaning machine. The house was clean, the laundry and dishes done, and I was enjoying my time with Hunter. Yeah, don't get me wrong--I was tired--but I was happy. Crazily enough, I had a newborn at home and yet my house was turning out to be the cleanest it had been in a long time!

I was in a great mood most of the time, enjoying my baby so much and yes, I had my normal new Mommy meltdown moments, but otherwise I felt GOOD. I was getting to know Hunter and I LOVED. EVERY. MINUTE.

Now, I'm feeling like the sands of the hourglass are running out so rapidly and I'm absolutely devastated that I have to go back to work full time.

I feel like I can't leave my child, especially now when he is getting to be so active and vocal. I feel like now, as he is learning so much, is when he needs me the most. I was enjoying my days so much, we seemed to have a good routine going and I love watch how much my child learns every day. I sing to him, talk to him, repeat back his cooing noises. I read to him and show him his bright rattles and toys. When he is napping, I actually felt happy to be doing laundry and making our home a clean and happy place.

Why am I bitching? I'm so lucky! My Mom is going to be taking care of Hunter here at our house. I won't have to worry about the cost of daycare, and I know he'll be getting the greatest of care from his Nana. So while I appreciate that, I feel JEALOUS of my mother. Jealous that I won't be with my Hunter baby all day and teaching him and spending quality time, kissing his cute cheeks.

Also, I'm worried about breast feeding. Like I said before, my work schedule sucks. I don't get home till almost 6:30PM. And no matter what anyone tells me, I'm feeling SO stressed, worrying about not being able to get in enough BF sessions to keep my milk flowing (I am hoping to have enough time to breast feed twice in the morning and twice at night, but with Hunter's routine and my work schedule, I'm not so sure it will work) and I worry endlessly that my milk will dry up.

The thought of having to STOP nursing Hunter right now upsets me beyond words. Not only just for the benefit to him, but to me. I never could have comprehended, before doing it, how close I can feel to my child. If I choose to stop breast feeding Hunter becuz that's what I wanted, thet's one thing, but if I'm "forced" to stop becuz of my shitty work schedule and inability to nurse/produce? SAD just doesn't sum up my feelings on it.

I have no energy,no motivation, anymore.

I just sit on the couch moping and watching tv. Staring at Hunter and feeling the tears well up as I visualize not being here for him.

The dishes are piling up, the laundry is overflowing, I can barely make the bed. I have no desire to read anymore (and I am a TOTAL bookworm...reading is something I always make time for becuz I enjoy it so much).

I'm also so very unhappy with my body and my weight (even though I've lost almost 30 lbs of pregnancy weight) but yet I still continue to eat like crap. I either eat too much or I don't eat at all and I know that's horrible and not healthy especially, while breastfeeding my baby boy.

I know I should probably call the doctor. I don't really know what he'll do for me. I don't 100% want to be back on anti-depressants (I've taken them in the past) yet I wonder if that's what I need.

Am I just having the normal sadness that goes along with going back to work full time, and feeling like I'm "leaving" my child? How do I stop myself from feeling like a horrible mother? I was keeping a lot of this in, and crying when I was alone, not wanting people to think I was selfish for feeling like that. But I've started to share it with Daryl, with my Mom, and two of my friends who are Mom's. I bawled my eyes out to Daryl the other night and finally let it all out. He and I have talked and he has said he'd be fine with me working part time, that we'd make some sacrifices financially, but that it would be worth it both for my sanity and for our family. But of course, I can't seem to motivate myself to DO anything about it.

I'm just a crying, emotional mess.

2009-10-10T10:22:00.002-04:00

This is what happens when you ask your husband to bring home a "big pumpkin"....

I just love the look on Hunter's face, almost like, "Damn. That's a big-ass pumpkin."

2009-10-07T10:16:00.003-04:00

Hunter's growth and Breastfeeding

Hunter had his two month check up on Monday.

He now weighs....DRUMROLL PLEASE....14 lbs. 6 oz. and is in the 95th percentile for weight. He is 24 inches long and in the 90th percentile for height! All my joking around about his pumpkin head that is like his Daddy's, but his head is in the 50th percentile.

The nurse jokingly asked if my breast milk was pure cream. Ha ha. Very funny.

Like I explain to everyone, I didn't expect to have a tiny little munchkin for a child, after all, look at his parents! Neither Daryl or I are tiny!

Hunter is doing fabulous all around, healthy and on track, meeting the milestones he should for his age. He also received his shots and oh my LORD, did my poor baby scream. His little cheeks turned bright red! I felt so bad for him. After one oral vaccine, and three shots, I immediately nursed my upset little man and he settled right down.

And speaking of nursing, I have to say, I am so glad I decided to breast feed. It's such an amazing experience and definitely a way that Hunter and I bond together. I am sad at the thought of it ending too soon, although I have no intentions of stopping just yet! I would love to nurse him to at least 5-6 months.

We do give him about one (sometimes two) bottle(s) of formula a day and that is usually so my mom or Daryl can give him a bottle. I was religiously pumping in the beginning so that we could give him breast milk in the bottles more often than anything AND I was trying to build up a frozen supply as well, however I was getting very discouraged at the puny amount of breast milk I produced through pumping.

I will admit, I was feeling like a failure. I know so many people that can pump a ton and they were able to freeze it for when they went back to work, so their babies never had a need for formula. I cried over this to both Daryl and my Mom, and made myself crazy...I was like a pumping soldier who HAD TO GET IT DONE. I felt like a robot, a motorized breast, a milking cow. And not getting the results I expected, I felt horrible and like I had failed (even though I breast feed him all day and Hunter is obviously thriving!).

It took me a couple of weeks to turn my mindset around.

I have come to the realization that I have done an awesome job...nursing Hunter has completely exceeded my expectations so I had to stop beating myself up over not being a pro-pumper. I have a nursing plan for when I got back to work in another month. I am determined to keep my milk flowing but I do realize that when I'm back to work, there is the potential for a decrease in my production,, due to less nursing throughout the day AND also the stress that I anticipate at work.

But I can't focus on that!

In the morning, I leave for work approximately 8:45-9:00 AM and I get home from work at approximately 6:15 PM in the evening. So my plan is to hopefully get in two nursing sessions in the morning before work, then pump at least twice throughout the day while at work, and then nurse two times in the evening. Right now, Hunter nurses between 6-7 times a day.

I know pumping is not as productive as a baby nursing, but I'm hoping those two times I do it will be enough to convince my body to keep producing! But I remind myself daily, if I am unable to continue to breast feed, at least I have done the best I could! I will have at LEAST nursed him for three months.

And I am proud of myself for nourishing my son and helping him grow and thrive.

2009-10-04T18:54:00.008-04:00

Dear Hunter,

Today you are two months old.

I can't believe it. My newborn baby is two months old!

You are a blast to be around. In between Mommy eating and kissing your beautiful cheeks, nonstop (sorry, kid!), you smile and laugh and are enjoying your baby life! You love to be sung to and so far, your favorite seems to be "The Itsy Bitsy Spider". Mommy and Daddy also think you are starting to try to imitate certain faces we make, which is hysterical to watch.

About two weeks ago, Daddy weighed you on his work refrigerant scale (in your car seat which itself, is nine pounds...talk about a workout!) and you were 13 lbs 4 1/2 oz. My big handsome boy. You are wearing clothes sized 3-6 moths OR even 6-9 months, with a little room to grow.

You are looking more and more like your Daddy every day. You're broad across the chest just like Dad, which makes it hard for Mommy to sometimes get you into shirts. I think you are going to be tall like both of your parents. You have incredibly ticklish feet and yet we can blow raspberries on your belly and you barely even flinch!

You love constant motion. Whether it's napping in your swing (the ONLY place I can get you to take any naps longer than 15 minutes), driving in the car or being rocked and cuddled, you are a happy boy. You sleep through the night like a champ in your crib and after a morning snack, you go back to sleep, blessedly giving Mommy a few extra Zzzz's herself.

Your eyes, which are slowly turning brown, follow Mommy and Daddy adoringly no matter where we are. Daddy sometimes gets mad that he'll be holding you and you are staring after me, but hey! You are a Mommy's Boy, and that is a good thing! Also, you've started paying more attention to your doggie, Tucker. I even witnessed him smooch you and your giggle in reply, this afternoon.

You have already watched your first and second football games with Daddy and you LOVE when Mommy reads you books at night before bed.

You are also a baby who loves water, much to Mommy's relief! Bath time is fun but you LOVE talking showers with your Daddy! Even if the water accidentally squirts you in the face, you blink a few times and then coo contentedly. You love to "talk" to your stuffed animals, toys and mobiles and also you stare in fascination at all the pictures on the walls, so Mommy has started to point everyone in them out to you.

Hunter, you are a silly boy! Your laughter is contagious! While Daddy got his eyes checked at the doctor's office, Mommy walked you around the brightly lit waiting room and you stared in awe around you. Your eyes landed on a picture of a woman modeling glasses and oh my goodness, the silly giggles that you let loose with! I didn't care who heard me, I could not help but laugh right along with you!

Your smile is like the sunshine that brightens up our days. Neither Daddy nor I can imagine life without you.

Thank you so much, little man, for blessing us with the gift of parenthood. You will never know (until the day you have your own children) how much it means to Daddy and I!

We will continue to love and cherish you forever!

Love Always,

Mommy

P.S. I promise to kiss those chubby cheeks until you are an old, OLD man.

2009-09-29T09:20:00.006-04:00

I love Fall!

I had a great weekend with my family, enjoying the first weekend that actually felt like Autumn had arrived! The leaves are all starting to change colors, the air is crisp and the sun is shining.

Thursday I made a trip to the orchard with Sarah and her girls. I strapped a snoozing Hunter into the Baby Bjorn and grabbed a bag, ready to pick. Of course due to the crappy weather this year, crops have suffered. Most of the apples had holes or were dimpled and bruised from a hail storm we had this summer. So it took us a little bit longer to pick and find a decent bagful of apples, but we were determined!

And then like a jackass, I accidentally dropped an apple on my child's head. Heh. The poor thing startled so hard and gave out a huge cry before immediately going back to sleep. I felt like THE worst mother!

Friday, Daryl called me around 10:100am to ask what I thought if he came home from work early, so that we could go to the Big E. For those of you not from New England, the Big E is this HUGE fair (I use the term fair loosely!) located in West Springfield, Mass. Six eastern states take part in the fair: Massachusetts, Connecticut (my state!), Maine, Rhode Island, Vermont and New Hampshire. While I LOVE the Big E, it is an all day thing, between driving there, finding parking, and all the insane walking that is involved.

So by the time Daryl got home around one, then I had to feed the baby again and get some other stuff ready, we decided instead to go to the Durham Fair, which is local. Hunter's first visit to the fair was fun! He slept through Mommy and Daddy chowing down on yummy food but then he woke up by the time we reached the animals. I think his favorite, no doubt, were the cows. Hunter's eyes were as large as half dollars every time he heard a bellowing "Moooo!" echo through the building! I did take a couple pics/video but we haven't uploaded it to the computer yet. Anyway, the most memorable part of the day was feeding a screaming, hungry baby in the parking lot and then realizing he had an insane blow-out diaper that required the bed of the truck, a naked baby and LOTS of baby wipes. Lord, kid.

Saturday was another day of firsts for Hunter! Our original plan was to take Hunter to Lyman Orchards to pick some pumpkins and get some cute pictures.

Well, due to the pumpkin shortage (damn crappy weather again!) there were NO pumpkins! After that disappointment we headed to our friend Joe and Erin's for a fun day. They recently had bought a pontoon boat and wanted to show it off so we went on the lake for Hunter's first boat ride. It was chilly with the breeze blowing on the water so I bundled him good in his car seat and when he woke up, I put him in the Baby Bjorn again and wrapped some blankets around his legs. After our boat ride, it was off to a local farm that Erin had found who DID have pumpkins!

After Hunter's first hayride, we hopped down from the tractor to hear the farm employee warning us that the pumpkins were still green (due to the first crop being ruined, they had to replant later in the season). He reassured us that after picking them they WOULD still turn orange. So if we are the only losers in town with green pumpkins on our front porch, now you know why. Ha! Anyway, this was a HARD CORE pumpkin patch! It was on a hill which made it hard enough to maneuver as it is but then you add in the leaves and greenery that came up to our knees,k and dodging piles of deer poop here and there. So needless to say, I did NOT get my cute Hunter-pumpkin patch pictures that I had envisioned since before he was born.

Back at Joe and Erin's we ate our take-our dinner form this deliciously yummy BBQ place nearby. Then we headed home with a sleepy baby.

Sunday we had to get up and out early to go to our friend's son's 1st birthday party. And of course, being the procrastinators that we both are, we were buying his gift on the way to the party. Daryl teased his friend J0hn all month about how he was going to buy Joey the most loudest, most obnoxious toy ever but I begged him to keep it only sightly annoying. Payback is a bitch, I had to remind him of that! The weather was totally crappy, pouring on and off all day, and the party was outdoors BUT they had like six tents set up so we were under the tent at all times which was good. After catered meal, cake and some fun, we headed home around 4pm where we relaxed and watched a movie together before bed.

My two cute boys! If you didn't know they were related, I think those matching noses (at least!) give it away! LOL

2009-09-23T19:08:00.005-04:00

Ladies Man

Oh lord.

It's starting already.

The "women" are flocking to my boy.

I might have to lock this kid in his room until he grows up. Heh.

I mean, come on...who can resist a face this cute??

2009-09-22T08:07:00.004-04:00

So, life is pretty good right now.

(sorry pic so grainy....took it with my cell phone)

I've been enjoying my maternity leave (so much so that I've started having nightmares about going back to work...I wake up practically in tears) and spending time with not only my sweet baby boy, but my Mom as well! The house is amazingly clean (something I can never seem to get it to on a daily basis while working full time)and almost all the laundry is done. It looks great!

I love my hubby so much...he's been such a great Daddy and watching him cuddle and whisper to his son makes me feel like I can't breathe. It's blissful. Daryl has been picking up some overtime lately so I feel like I don't get to see him as much as I'd like, but I know he is doing this for the sake of his family, and I'm so grateful. He is the reason I'm ABLE to take a 14 week maternity leave (half of which is already over. Boo). I am enjoying every second (poop, spit-up and all) that I get to spend at home with Hunter.

One of my favorite holidays is coming, Halloween, and even though Hunter is so little I can NOT wait for his first real holiday! And yes, I do plan on dressing him up. Haven't figured out in what yet, though. Any ideas?

My friends rock. I know they understand that things have been crazy-busy so I don't feel like I have to constantly explain myself about why I've been scarce. Being a Mommy is definitely time-consuming but I wouldn't trade it for anything. However, it was freakin' AWESOME to get out the other night with my bestest, April #2, for a little "ME" time. I really, really enjoyed a heavenly White Chocolate Martini and some nachos, along with INSANE amounts of laughter. We even got hit on by some 21-year olds which was an ego boost considering I've been feeling so fat and blah lately (although I just found out at my appointment yesterday that I've lost 27 lbs since Hunter's birth, woo hoo!).

Hunter is a very easy going baby. He doesn't cry just for the sake of crying. And he's entered into a fun stage right now of smiling, talking and laughing.

The other day my neighbor popped over and was holding him and suddenly Hunter turned his head and saw me and smiled in recognition. I swear his whole face lit up like sunshine. And it was such an overpowering moment to me that in the middle of my sentence, I floundered, stuttered...and started to giggle like a girl with a crush. I couldn't get back my train of thought at all, I was so blinded with love by my little man's smile at me! We've seen him smiling before that point, oh yes, but this time I could say 100% without a doubt that he was smiling at ME. That is wasn't gas, or his fascination with the ceiling or the lamp. He was happy to see his Mommy!

And then the other morning came the giggles. Daryl, Hunter and I were lying in bed together, being silly...when suddenly Hunter let loose with a peal of laughter directed right at his father. It was infectious and I couldn't help but laugh myself!

Anyway, I've finally started using the video camera and have some silly clips of Hunter "talking" and I'm posting one here below. I love this stage! He's so stinkin' cute!

2009-09-16T08:56:00.004-04:00

Hey you Mommies out there...I have a question.

Lately (I'd say within the past two weeks) Hunter has been having a really hard time trying to poop. It's not every day, but on and off. I can tell that it is NOT fun for my little man, and he grunts and groans, kicking his legs out, and cries as he tries to go to the bathroom.

The worst was one night last week, where he cried almost ALL night (which is not the norm for him. Hunter has been either sleeping through the nights fully or just waking up one time to eat so for him to cry all night--and it had NOTHING to do with him wanting to eat--I knew he was hurting.). He will also often times be very gassy and toot but STILL not be able to poop.

It breaks my heart to see him trying so hard and red-faced and crying!

I did ask another Mommy I know, and she said her child had a similar issue and that there was really nothing anything I could do about it other than soothe him.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I was told by another friend last night to try giving him a little water (like an ounce or less). But do you have any other suggestions, blog-Mommies? Is it a question of ME needing to eat more fiber (I am still breast feeding, and Hunter does get about 1-2 bottles of formula a day in addition.)? Should I call the pediatrician or will he just tell me the same thing, just to soothe him? I feel so helpless as he cries and grunts, especially cuz this is interfering with his napping/sleeping. My little man is exhausted.

Yesterday he hadn't pooped at ALL and then he finally went around four am this morning, poor baby. But now here he is pushing and grunting and groaning again like he still needs to go! :-( So I soothed him till he fell back asleep, but I can guarantee in five minutes, it will wake him up again.

Is there anything more you think I can do? Did you have this problem with one of your children?

2009-09-08T11:18:00.007-04:00

Hunter is one month old!

This letter should have been posted on Friday, September 4th, but I was too busy packing for 2 adults, 1 baby and 1 dog for a weekend trip to upper state NY to visit Daryl's mom and stepdad...we were on the road by late afternoon. But this letter is better late than never!

Dear Hunter:

You are now one month old, buddy! And my, how you have already changed. You went from a little skinny bundle of newborn baby to the chubby cheeked and double-chin sweet face that you are today!

I love to stare at you...I swear I could do it all day and never get tired. Your eye lashes are longer and let me tell you, some women would die for those eyelashes. Your lips are often pursed and quite kissable as you make that same face you often made while still in the womb. I have an ultrasound picture of you making the same pursed-lip face! Your legs have the sweetest little baby fat rolls and your forearms rival those of a baby Pop-Eye. It won't be long before you can arm-wrestle your Daddy! :-)

And you have come so far in such a short time span! You hold your head up like a champ, and you roll over already. You did sleep through the night once, and I hold out hope it will happen again soon, but still you are doing great right now with only waking up once during the night usually after 5.5-6.5 hours of sleep. Mommy loves the fact that I can get some sleep again!

You make the cutest noises now when you "talk". Cooing and Mommy's favorite drawn-out and forceful "Gaaaaa!" when you are mad about a dirty diaper or an empty tummy. You smile often and while I'm pretty sure it's mostly due to gas, sometimes I think you are imitating what you see your Mommy and Daddy beaming down at you. I caught this one smile on film today that absolutely melts my heart, and while I'd like to think it wasn't due to gas (cuz I was smiling and talking silly to you at the same moment) you DID let out a big 'ol burp right afterwards.

Your favorite past time right now is to stare in awe at the ceiling and walls. Sometimes you have cooing conversations with the wall for minutes on end and it makes me laugh. You also are infatuated with looking at lights. If there is bright light coming from a lamp or an open window, you are all about being nosey and trying to check it out.

When you are mad, your forehead and nose wrinkle up just like Daddy's. I love to see how much you look like him even though I often joke to Daddy, "Geez, I carried this baby for nine months and all I see of myself is his chin, long fingers and big feet!" :-) But one thing that amazes me, Hunter? Sometimes, in a picture or in a certain facial expression you make, I see your Pop-Pop's face. Your Pop-Pop's smiling brown eyes shining at me. I know he would be so proud and excited by you, his first grandchild.

Your favorite way to fall asleep is belly to belly against your Mommy or Daddy. I think you love it the most with Daddy though...I often times snap pictures of the two of you snoozing on the couch. I'll never get tired of it!

You are eating great and I can't wait to see what your weight has gone up to. Between Mommy's milk and the occasional bottle of formula, you love to eat! When you are especially hungry, you have been eating about 4 and a half ounces. Keep on growing, little man!

I can't believe a full month has gone by. A month that I've been privileged to be your Mother, Hunter. To love you and care for you and be amazed by you every day. Some days I find myself staring at you in surprise...did this perfect little being really come out of me? Did Daryl and I really and truly create this miracle? And when I realize, that YES, we did, I am so in awe that tears well up in my eyes and I realize just how proud I am to be your Mommy.

Mommy and Daddy love you to infinity and beyond little man! You are our world.

Love Always,

Your Mommy

2009-09-02T18:04:00.004-04:00

My little man did it!

At exactly four weeks old, he slept through the entire night last night.

Hunter's last feeding was at about 9:30pm and around 10:45pm he drifted off to sleep by my side in his bassinet next to our bed. He woke up and fussed a little about 20 minutes later due to a dirty diaper but after that, he fell right back to sleep and stayed that way until 6:00 am this morning!!

I slept so soundly myself (of course that could be due to the fact that I feel like crap...I think I have a cold and was physically spent) that I didn't wake up till Hunter did, so no frantic checks this time by me during the night to make sure the baby was still breathing!

I'm hopeful this will happen again soon (if not tonight) becuz he has been sleeping anywhere from 4.5-6.5 hours straight each night. So he was slowly building himself up for it.

And on the adult-front, Big D and I are doing well. I'm finally feeling very NON-zombie like and more like myself! More sleep has that affect on me, I guess. And while I do still have my frantic, meltdown moments here and there, they are coming few and far between. I'm less nervous and anxious and more relaxed as a Mommy. I'm LOVING it!

And here is a brief video clip of Hunter's first nap in his own crib! Please ignore the crazy camera angles at first as you would THINK Daryl was drunk while filming...but I swear he was not. And yes, you will see the flashes of Mom-arazzi...I was trying so hard to get a picture from the perfect angle. Heh. Yes, we're obviously new, excited parents!!

2009-08-27T19:18:00.007-04:00

Today was an exciting day for THIS new Mommy!!

It started at 3:00 am when I was awakened by Hunter's cry. That is when it dawned on me that my little man had slept through FIVE consecutive hours of the night. Holy smokes! That is the longest he's gone yet and I have to admit, I woke up repeatedly before he did--pretty much scaring myself awake--to check and make sure the baby was still breathing and alive.

I just couldn't believe he was still sleeping!

Aren't those lips to die for? He is going to wow all the girls someday, my little man!!

After nursing at three in the morning, Hunter fell back asleep--for another THREE straight hours! Go, baby boy! Needless to say, Mommy and Daddy got some fantastic sleep last night.

After kind of a hectic, stressful morning (Hunter has been suffering from some unbearable gas, and spitting up, the past couple of days and it's made him a VERY cranky boy) I finally got out and on the road. I was heading over to my friend, Angel's, to borrow her breast pump (up until this point, I've been renting one from the hospital) and she made us coffee and lunch. I had an awesome time visiting, exchanging baby stories (she has three kids) and just catching up.

At one point, Angel asked if we'd done any tummy time with Hunter yet. We have only done it once or twice, and kinda leaned him on the boppy.

So today, we put him flat on his belly on the floor and to Angel's surprise, little Hunter lifted his head completely up and off the floor.

I keep tellign people how strong he is--that he holds his head, yes wobbily but still, up on his own and that he has already rolled over onto his side--but I think most people believe me to be exaggerating, the eager new Mommy.

Heh. Well, this time I had a witness.

He completely lifted his head AND legs up off the floor here. (He's crying cuz turns out he had an incredibly dirty diaper at the same time! LOL)

After that, he promptly rolled over to his left side and then, almost as if he decided he didn't like the view, Hunter completely reversed and rolled to his right side..and then COMPLETELY rolled over!!!

Thankfully Angel had her camera out already and was busily snapping pictures while we cheered him on.

Holy crap, Mom! WHAT just happened???

I am so proud of my big boy!!! I swear my love for my son grows more and more every day.

2009-08-22T17:37:00.005-04:00

As of Tuesday, Hunter will be three weeks old.

Three weeks? ALREADY? Where has the time gone??

And what happened to my newborn? Already, the skinny legs and arms he was born with have begun developing sweet little fat rolls. And his face is chubbing up nicely into an adorable double chin. As of last Wednesday, he is 9 lbs. 3 oz., so he made it back up to his birth weight (after losing a pound) and then some. That makes Mommy very happy.

And he's started making all kinds of adorable sounding noises...between those and his "smiles" I am smitten. I can't stop kissing him.

I can't stop staring at this little baby in amazement as he continues to change and grow before my very eyes. I can't stop kissing him and thanking God for bringing him into my life. I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed. I can't stop gazing at Daryl and realizing that my love for him has grown; he's helped me create this beautiful little life, this piece of both of us. Daryl's nose and forehead, my chin and lips, my feet and long toes and legs, and Daryl's wide hands...all of it we can see in our boy, Hunter. There is no doubt we made this boy!

Breastfeeding is going great. Hunter latches on and eats like it's his job, and I'm also up to pumping three times a day (granted, at least one of those times I don't get a ton of milk, but I'm still keeping it up). I've only just begun to freeze the breast milk for when I go back to work, plus I like to have at least 1-2 bottles a day that Daryl can feed his son. I think they both need that bonding time to talk to each other, and stare into each other's eyes. It is endearing to watch and listen to!

Oh, and we can't forget about Tucker. Tuck is quietly in love with his human brother. He doesn't bother the baby with unnecessary sniffing/licks but he does make sure to lay nearby. And when Hunter is crying from his pack and play, Tucker always makes sure to go check things out. He is also exceptionally gentle...we let the dog come up on the bed occasionally when I have Hunter laying between us and Tucker gently slides into a laying position so as not to disturb the baby. He gives him a cursory sniff and content, lays his golden blond doggie-head down in contentment.

All in all, we've fallen into a comfortable pace of life, even with the lack of sleep some nights, and I wouldn't trade my family for the world!

2009-08-14T09:47:00.005-04:00

Squirrels suck.

After bringing baby Hunter home from the hospital on Thursday August 6th, we were in for a treat. A freakin' squirrel in our basement. And the best part was that I think he was in there since AT LEAST August 4th, induction day, cuz I had gone in the basement that morning and not only did I see insulation lying on the basement floor but weirdly enough insulation fell out of the ceiling while I was down there. I was nowhere near it and it just randomly fell from the ceiling and I couldn't figure out why. Once we realized there was a damn furry-tailed rat (Daryl's description of squirrels, heh heh) in our basement, it dawned on me that was probably what caused the insulation to come down.

Then began Daryl's plan of attack.

1. First Daryl left our bilco doors open, that lead to the outside, for a few hours hoping that Mr. Squirrel would get the hint and realize his presence wasn't welcome. No such luck.

2. Second, Daryl, realizing where the squirrel came in from (down the chimney and through a hole into the basement) cemented up the hole after chasing the squirrel back in. Then he put on the heat for about a minute or so (don't worry, he wasn't trying to fry the little critter!) to hopefully smoke the squirrel back up and out of the chimney. That did NOT work.

3. Third was the Hav-a-Heart trap that we borrowed from his Grandpa. The little squirrel-bastard repeatedly kept setting the trap off but NOT getting caught in it!

4. Then came the bee-bee (sp?) gun. Big D sat quietly in the basement, gun in hand, hunting his prey. But of course the furry brat stayed hidden. I guess that squirrel was no dummy.

5. This is actually a continuation of the bee-bee gun but it's sorta funny how it came about. Monday August 10th, my first day without Big D after Hunter was born, I was watching tv with my Mom who had come over. Suddenly, from out of the corner of my eye, I saw something dart underneath the door leading down to the basement. And I heard a strange "scratch-scratch" sound. When I turned to look I didn't see anything. But when it happened AGAIN, I looked and saw...a TINY GRAY PAW WITH RAZOR SHARP CLAWS desperately clawing underneath our basement door leading into the house! Mr. Squirrel wanted IN! Tucker tried to nose his way over but I yelled at him to go lay down cuz the last thing I wanted was the squirrel scratching my poor dog's snout. Anyway, I called Daryl and at first I was okay with it but the more frantically Mr. Squirrel started to scratch at our flimsy basement door, the more frantic that I became that he would claw his damn way into the house before the end of the day when Daryl came home!

Needless to say, Big D came home and brought out the bee-bee gun again. He lay on the floor in wait, staring under the crack of the door (cuz earlier I had shone a flashlight and found myself eye to beady eye with the damn squirrel) and when the animal came back up the stairs, Daryl shot it, point-blank. BULLSEYE!!!

Daryl threw open the door, positive the squirrel was dead or badly hurt as he saw with his own eyes that the shot hit him. The squirrel was a few steps down so he shot at him AGAIN and watched his furry body fly through the air...and then BEGIN RUNNING AWAY!! Mr. Squirrel then ran and hid and that was that.

6. Over that weekend, after more frustrating days of not being able to catch/shoot/release the damn squirrel, Daryl went back downstairs with his bee-bee gun. He shot at him one more time and then in desperation, began banging a damn shovel around and actually did hit the squirrel once, twice. THE SQUIRREL DID NOT DIE.

7. Next was the rat traps. Big D put up about four to five rat trips with big globs of peanut butter on each. The squirrel, who we KNOW was starving at this point (that's the reason I think he was trying to get into the house, it was always after I cooked something) did not go near any of those damn rat traps. SQUIRREL: 7 HUMANS: 0

8. A couple of days later I went downstairs to do laundry. It was a chore that I had been dreading cuz I didn't want to go near the "MANIAC squirrel". I banged on the basement door a bunch of times first, then cracked the door and peeked down. No squirrel and the rat trap Daryl had placed on the third step down was still there with its glob of peanut butter. I nervously crept down the stairs and as I stepped off the bottom step, it hit me.

THE SMELL.

After well over a week (possibly MORE) of no food or water, being shot with a bee-bee gun multiple times and whacked with a shovel (after all our HUMANE efforts had failed miserably, mind you!)...Mister Squirrel had kicked the bucket.

And now?

Now we have a dead squirrel SOMEWHERE in our basement, smelling worse and worse every day, accumulating disgusting flies that escape up into the house all the time. Even though the poor furry-tailed rat died, I feel like he's still gotten the last word...

SIGH.