Thoughts in my tumultuous brain....

2011-12-19T19:10:00.000-05:00

Is it bad that this is my fourth night in the row with a

glass of wine in hand?

And truth be told, Saturday and Sunday night it was more than one glass. Heh heh. In my defense, 'tis the season! Friends and parties and fun nonstop.

At least I'm almost done with all my Christmas shopping. I went to the store today after getting out of work and finished off the kids. I still wish I had more to spend on them, but I'm still happy with my purchases! Honestly, my favorites for Hunter are:

What can I say, the kid LOVES to pretend to vacuum! And lately he's been messing around with my Dyson.

And...my other favorite....

Cuz now he will have somewhere to color (or do his crafty stuff) without litte missy eating his crayons!

Now...to get it all wrapped!

Anyway, it's been a sad week for some fo my family and friends. My MIL's old man doggie, Wookie, passed away yesterday.

He was very sick and in and out of the vet hospital and I'm still not sure if he passed DURING his exploratory surgery or after, but my poor MIL is devastated. She's had this boy for 13 years and swears he saved her during a rough time in her life. And then last week, one of my bestie's, Carsa and her family had to put their doggie, Ace, to sleep after he was diagnosed (and very sick) with an inoperable tumor. Both dogs had a special place in my heart and I have fond memories of them. May they run freely over the Rainbow Bridge and stay young forever!

For as much as my yellow lab, Tucker may drive me crazy somedays with his intense separation anxiety, endless panting and water drinking and stinky breath...I'm SO THANKFUL for his furry butt. He's given me more love than I probably deserve and he makes the best foot rest. And most importantly he is the best dog ever to my kids, so gentle and patient. I couldn't ask for a better yellow boy!

2011-12-15T05:24:00.008-05:00

Dear Avery,

Today marks your 9th month with us and it's crazy to me to think, for as long as I got to carry you in my belly, we've now had the pleasure of holding you in our arms!

What a big nine month old girl you are becoming! You still wear 12 months in clothes and size 4 in diapers but you seem to have gotten taller to Mommy! At your 9 month wellness Pediatrician appointment you weighed 18 lbs 11 oz, so not much of a gain (from 17 lbs 6 oz at your 6 month check up), but the doctor said it's normal with how active you are. You really NEVER stop moving. And you are now 28 inches long, so an inch longer, my tall girl! We also found out you have eczema so Mommy is going to have to start applying the lotion a lot more than I normally do!

You celebrated your first Thanksgiving this month and got to sample a little bit of everything on our dinner dishes: turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, corn and then a little bit of pumpkin pie w/cool whip for dessert! And like the little piggy you are, you gobbled up every bite we gave you. Another first, the day after Thanksgiving we did our yearly tradition of going to cut down a fresh Christmas tree. You seemed to enjoy the fresh air (it was mild that day) and while you seem to like the pretty white lights Mommy put on the Christmas tree, you are a good baby who doesn't really try to touch the tree or ornaments!

You pull up to standing pretty regularly now, and no longer wobble while doing it! In addition, you can slowly lower yourself back down to a sitting position (while holding onto furniture, baby gate, etc). You seemed to have developed a tad bit of separation anxiety this month when it comes to Mommy, and you don't really let her leave the room, without loud crazy screams from you. And then you do the super fast, anxious crawl to catch up to me, shoving the baby gate aside to squeeze by it.

You are a now a pro holding and drinking out of your sippy cup. You only drink water out of it. You are still nursed like 90% of the time. You get 1 bottle of formula at Nana's house Monday through Thursday while Mommy is at work and to drink it, you lay on the floor and hold the bottle yourself. Avery, you've also tried all the "allergy" foods with no problems: strawberries, eggs and peanut butter. You love ALL of them!

Avery, as always you love your brother! And that love seems to grow and grow every day! You giggle and smile and chase each other around. You play with all his matchbox cars and trucks (which doesn't suit your brother, he hasn't quite grasped the concept yet of SHARING, so he often times rips them out of your hands).

Mommy's been noticing this month that your dry skin has gotten a bit more patchy and coarse lately. It could be from the cold weather, but it's definitely something we will be bringing up at your next pedi visit. And your soft, brown hair is slooooowly starting to thicken up. We especially notice it growing longer behind your ears. You also have SEVEN teeth now! Not too long ago, four popped through on top. And just last week or so, your third bottom tooth came out. The teething has been VERY bad at times but cuddles always help. It affected your sleeping patterns as well. You wake up every night again, usually just once, and Mommy was nursing you back to sleep. But now that the teeth are all through, and you are happier, we are weaning from nighttime nursing (four days in a row so far!) And then you are an early-riser so sleep is scarce in this house!

Avery, you are such a silly girl. A bit needier than your brother was at this age, but just as lovable and sweet and full of smiles and laughs. You are a very happy-go-lucky baby girl! You squeeze us and love to bury your face into our necks. Kisses are your specialty: both giving and receiving. If you could be kissed 24 hours a day, you'd be in heaven!

Mommy had pictures done this month of you and your brother in preparation for Christmas. While your brother wasn't very cooperative, you smiled your way through the entire session. The pics came out SO adorable and you looked beautiful in your burgundy and black lace Christmas dress.

Avery, thank you for making us so happy. For giving your Mom and Dad and brother so much love! It's hard to believe it's been nine months already but at the same time, it feels like you've been a part of our family forever. In three short months you will be a one year old, and we are so not ready for that. Mommy is going to hold onto her sweet baby girl for as long as possible!

We love you always, Avery Irene,
Daddy, Mommy, and Hunter

2011-12-09T17:19:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty darn tired today so instead of a wordy post,
here is a short and sweet post. Enjoy!

My new precious, an early Christmas gift from the in-laws:

What I plan on baking this weekend, yummy:

Who would have celebrated his 61st birthday this week, and who I miss dearly every single day:

The adorable pj's my littles are wearing tonight, making me smile:

And my sweet loves, who gave me lots and lots of kisses today:

2011-12-05T16:08:00.000-05:00

This is so strange to me.

Me...the girl who is jonesing mid-way through August for Christmas season.

In the family who eagerly awaits Thanksgiving, not just for the turkey, but for the day AFTER the turkey so that we can go cut down our fresh tree!

April, the girl who will listen to Christmas carols all season long (and even has a slightly hard time saying "good-bye" to those cd's the day after).

The Mama who has been SO EXCITED to share Christmas this year with BOTH of her babies.

I am having a hard time feeling the

spirit of the season.

Our tree is up and decorated (and watching my son giggle and smile as he put ornament after ornament on the same branch--making us adults giggle) and it is beautiful to me, if a tad barren of ornaments. I couldn't find some this year, due to our move last January.

Extra lights are lit around the house.

Stockings are hung by the chimney with care (well, the kids are anyway. Mom's and Dad's is still on order. Had to get new stockings this year cuz ours got ruined in a wet basement over the summer).

I'm already planning out which cookies and treats to bake this year.

But I'm just not feeling it, for some reason. And I have no idea why! Still lots of gifts left to get, and it's slow-going becuz as usual, we are broke. But honestly, that's not what's bothering me. I know that the gifts will all come together. They always do!

Maybe it's due to the depressing news on TV and online? The horrible stories I keep reading of mother's killing their babies, and criminals stealing from hard-working people trying to make ends meet? And knowing there are so many people out there without families or even homes this time of year?

That probably doesn't help the way I feel.

It's almost like a feeling of "unsettled-ness". I know that's not a word, but I'm coining it now so you get where I'm coming from. I know it's still technically early in the month so I can only hope that as the days fly by, some of the Christmas-y feeling starts to permeate my veins.

I can hope.

2011-12-03T09:22:00.000-05:00

Lately, things have been tough.

I've had some not-so-pleasant-Mommy-moments that I'm actually quite disappointed in myself over. I've apologized countless times to Hunter, after losing my patience with him. And had to pass Avery off to her Dad or Nana, quite a few times lately cuz I just can't take it.

Avery recently cut her top four teeth (in addition to the two on the bottom that she already had) and throw in about five days worth of horrendous gas? And seasoned with a splash of separation anxiety? Makes for ONE EXTREMELY upset baby. She shrieks and screams and if I walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water (she can see me...the living room/dining area/kitchen is all open to each other) she does this crazy, frantic crawl with limbs smacking the hardwood floor, as she races as fast as her little body will take her, all the while bellowing the most hideous baby cries ever. Seriously, it sounds like someone is beating her!

And Hunter, Hunter, Hunter...I had hoped you would avoid the dreaded "Terrible Two's" that everyone told me about. That was SO wishful thinking. You want what YOU want, when YOU want, no questions asked. And if you can't communicate your thoughts to me (or if Mommy just can't understand what you're saying) then it's meltdown-city. And it doesn't matter if we're in the living room, grocery store, pulic restroom at Target or a friend's house. I've even resorted (more often than I'd like) to bribery BEFORE the bad behavoir happens, just to do what I have to do sometime. (Munchkins in the stroller while frantically shopping for a birthday present at Kohl's for a party we're going to.)

There are some afternoons where I feel like all I've done is yell all day or I find myself often doing my "crazy laugh" to keep from bursting into tears.

But that bad is almost immediatley followed up by all the good. And it makes it all SO worthwhile. Driving to my mom's on a work day and listening to my son chatter happily, endlessly, "Mama, look!" and pointing out the moon to me and how we go "night-night" when the moon comes out at night. And watching him and Avery play toys so nicely and hearing, quite suddenly and unprompted from Hunter; "Sissy, I love you!" It took all I had not to melt into a messy, emotional, happy pile of goo on the floor. And seeing my daughter's cheesy, eager grin now full of teeth! Watching her pull herself up to a standing position, so confidently. Recieving messy, wet kisses from both of my kids, at unexpected moments. Just becuz they love me.

These children of mine, they give me purpose and determination, to be the best mother and PERSON I can be. I want to be a role-model and teach them manners and to respect their elders and to be good people themselves. I want them to know it's ok to make mistakes, cuz lord knows, Mommy makes quite a few of them. And most of all, I want them to have fun, love freely...and of course, BE SILLY!

2011-11-26T07:01:00.000-05:00

We had a great Thanksgiving this year! (warning, picture heavy post to follow!)

The four of us stayed home and no one came over, so it was very low-key and relaxed. I did some cleaning up of the house in preparation for our Christmas tree, while cooking here and there. Avery enjoyed her 1st Thanksgiving as we all stayed in our pj's and played! Daddy and Aves even scored a couple mini naps together. Hunter was in his glory playing ALL DAY LONG.

And Aves ate turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce, a bit of roll...and then for dessert she shared some pumpkin pie with whipped cream with me!

Yesterday, Black Friday, I did something a little different...I didn't go out shopping! While I did miss my Black Friday coupons and deals (Mom and I go to breakfast wicked early every year, then follow it up with some hard-core shopping) what I DID enjoy was lounging on the couch, sipping my coffee, and watching my kids (especially Hunter) watch Snow White for the first time. At certain points he was SO intent on the movie and it totally warmed my heart to see him enjoying one of my favorite Disney movies! And I will admit, I did a TINY bit of online shopping at the Carter's website for the babes. Got Hunter a shirt for Christmas eve, and Aves a sweater to go over her Christmas Eve dress...plus two pairs of footed jammies each and two long sleeved onesies for baby girl!

Later in the day, my MIL and step-FIL arrived in CT and joined us on our search for the perfect Christmas tree! This started last year and I think it's a new tradition we've created, with them helping us on the hunt.

This year our tree-search was a little bit more complicated than usual.

First of all, we wanted a bigger (ie: taller) tree now that we had the space and high ceilings. And it was not easy to find a bigger tree that wasn't scraggly. Secondly, our favorite tree farm (Daryl and I have probably gone to this farm the past five years now) just replanted like 1600 new baby trees that take approximately 6-7 years to reach full maturity before they can be sold. So.....that means there was not a lot of decent trees left.

Obviously, that didn't stop Hunter from running around like a crazy, wild man.

I'm a pretty picky person when it comes to picking the PERFECT tree. It has to be full (it can only have one side that has a "bald" spot, cuz that's the side that faces the wall) and it has to be a perfect cone shape. And of course, a pretty dark green with no dead needles! This year was VERY HARD to find that perfect tree but after well over an hour at the farm, I'm happy to say we found it!!

And Hunter had an absolute blast helping me decorate it! He was hilarious, hanging all the ornaments on the same branch. Daryl's grandparents and cousin joined us for pizza dinner, which was fun!

The tree is super prickly (fresh!) so I had to wear Daryl's dead-sexy gloves. Heh heh.

Our mantle, looking a tad naked without our stockings yet!

The finished product!

Today, it's all about cleaning for my Miche Bag party at four. My MIL is now a Miche consultant and I am in LOVE with these chic, awesome handbags! You buy the "base" bag in your size of choice and then you buy separately any "shell" of your choice, so you can literally change the style/look of your purse every single day (to match your mood, season, outfit, whatever!). Coolest invention ever. Heh heh.

Anyway, for now, it's still early (my kids wake up every single day between 4:30-5:00am, ugh!) so Hunter is cuddled up against me watching Mickey Mouse and Avery is asleep on my chest. Aaaaahhhh...a blissful holiday weekend, for sure.

2011-11-15T08:43:00.002-05:00

Dear Avery,

Today you are eight months old!

And what a big girl you are turning into. You crawl like an old pro now, however, you still love and often times rely on your signature army crawl to get you where you've got to go. You've also learned this past month how to pull yourself up to a standing position. Mommy is NOT ready for this. It means more boo-boo's. The first time you did it, I was so surprised (I was sitting on the couch and you were on the floor. Using my leg and the couch, you pulled yourself up standing and had SUCH a proud happy expression on your face. Until two seconds later when you fell and banged your head, poor thing) and now you do it ALL THE TIME.

You love to eat, much as your brother did at this age. Your favorites are eggs, puffs and pizza~! But you will chow down on pretty much anything we put in front of you. You also had your first taste of peanut butter this month MUCH by accident. Mommy was holding you while cleaning up Hunter's lunch mess when you suddenly leaned down and grabbed a square of pb&j from Hunter's leftover sandwich and stuffed it into your mouth! Thankfully, no allergic reactions and now you are a huge peanut butter lover. You've also been trying SO hard to perfect your pincer grasp but most of the time it's still much easier for you to grab a handful of food off your tray.

You are in size four diapers currently and I think we'll be okay with those for a while. You wear size 12 months mostly for clothes. We do have some 18 months for jammies and a couple onesies but they are definitely big on you.

You have two teeth on the bottom and on top we can see at LEAST 2 (maybe even 3 or 4) trying to push through the gums. You're mostly a happy baby, Aves, but when those teeth finally bust through the gums there is NO putting you down. So Mommy will give you your Hyland's Teething Tablets and soon as I shake that bottle to get your attention, you smile. We make a game out of it, just like I used to do with brother, and count each tablet and you smile and laugh!

Mommy is SO looking forward to your first Christmas this year (next month!) and is having fun planning out your gifts. We are also having Christmas pictures done this weekend with you and Hunter and you have a beautiful hand-me-down dress to wear from the Savo girls...a deep burgandy and black lacy number...you are going to look SO adorable in it!

Aves, you are sometimes clingy still but when you are playing in the toy room (off the living room) with your brother, you are SO Miss Independent! You crawl over looking very determined and try so hard to "hang" with Hunter. NO matter what he is playing with, that's what YOU want to play with. The toy food in the fake kitchen, his toy power drill or the cars, truck and tractors! I hope you'll be a girly girl but with a flair for the boy stuff. Heh heh.

Unfortunately your first Halloween this year turned out to be a dud (not that you'll remember!). We had a storm that knocked out power all over the state for DAYS and needless to say, Halloween day was a mess with tree limbs and power lines down and no one in our neighborhood with power. You and Hunter actually fell asleep early on Halloween night so the next day, Mommy put you both in your costumes and took some pictures.

You try to wave now, Avery, and it cracks me up. Your hand is turned (palm towards you) and you pretty much wave to yourself. You've also started blowing lovely spit bubbles but the best part? When you do it, it forces you to press your lips together and you say "Ma ma ma ma" while doing it! You also have THE happiest, craziest sounding squeal I've ever heard. You smile so much I'm surprise your face doesn't hurt...you put your all into it, mouth wide open, and tongue sticking out.

Avery, you've been such a wonderful, happy addition to our family that there is no way I could imagine my life without you in it. You are my sweet baby daughter!

We love you always,
Mommy, Daddy and Hunter

2011-10-15T18:00:00.001-04:00

Dear Avery,

You are seven months old today, baby girl! SEVEN MONTHS OLD. Wow.

You eat like a chow-hound, Aves! Anything Mommy puts in front of you is devoured. This month you tried for the first time: lasagna, macaroni and cheese, corn, a little bit of ice cream, grilled cheese, tomatoes, green pepper. You have absolutely NO interest in baby purees anymore!

And you are growing in leaps and bounds. You Grammie and Gpa, who live in NY and don't see you on a regular basis, could hardly believe how big you got!

We went to visit them and you had a fabulous time on your second road trip to NY.

You got in snuggles with your Grammie and Gpa, played with brother's toys and sampled a few apples in the orchard!

You sit upright perfectly now...no more wobbles or falling over and face-planting. And at the beginnig of this month, you mastered sitting upright from a laying down position. Your legs are very strong when Mommy or Daddy stands you up and I think it's only a matter of time before you try to pull yourself up! You are still army-crawler but super fast and efficiently. You go up on all four snd rock like you want to take off, but i think you realize how much faster you can go by dropping down to your belly.

You are also a VERY strong willed girl.

Stubborn like your Daddy, determined like your Mommy! You can get frustrated very easy and aren't afraid to show it!

This month, we went pumpkin picking!

Instead of the regular pumpkin patch, we went to a small local farm that had tables and tables of pumpkins of various sizes.

Your eyes were big and round at the orange surrounding us and you had a great time watching your brother excitedly squeal, "Pumpkin!" over and over.

You were so tired out, you passed out cold, sound asleep for the first time in your...big girl car seat!

Mommy still puts you in your bucket seat in her car but when we take Daddy's truck, the big girl car seat is in that vehicle. You rode great in it!

Your new tooth is coming down quickly and what a difference it makes in that usually gummy smile of yours! And you BITE now with that sharp little baby tooth. Sometimes, you bite down hard when nursing and make Mommy scream. But thankfully, those moments are few and far between.

All in all, you are turning into the most FUN little baby girl ever, Aves. We love you so much!!

XOXOXOX ALWAYS,
Mommy, Daddy and Hunter

2011-10-13T07:21:00.002-04:00

Okay this post is LOOOOONG overdue. Our lap top went KAPUT when Avery kicked it off the arm of the couch (admittedly, not a very good place for me to put it) so I should have posted her six month letter, oh say, almost a MONTH ago? She's now just about SEVEN months. Anyway, here is her six month letter....the pics are all from my iphone mostly cuz I lost all the pics on our laptop too (but I'm going to try to see if someone can save them for me):

Dear Avery,

You are now six months old and quite the mover and shaker! You learned how to sit upright this month and Mommy is so very proud of you. You look like such a big girl! You also taught yourself how to do an excellent army crawl....I swear you would make some army rangers jealous, I think.

You eat so much more now. You've tried, for the first time, this month: pancakes, waffles, peas, avocado, mashed potatoes, Italian bread AND you've begun handling and drinking out of your sippy cup!

Once in a while when you are upset and you see me walking away, you've cried out, "Mama!" but that's it so far on the talking front. You gibber gabber and laugh like nobody's business. I am amazed at how much of a happy baby you truly are.
I pretty much NEVER get a picture of you NOT smiling. A smile is too much a part of your face! You are also a very needy girl, or as Daddy likes to call you "High Maintenance". You want someone around you (and pretty much right in front of you) at all times. Occasionally, you get wrapped up in your toys and forget about your parents, but you always keep tabs on your brother, Hunter. You often times light up when he walks into the room you are in!

And guess what else started to happen this month? A TOOTH!

Your first tooth has begun to pop through. It was a miserable time for you when it was trying to break free of the gum, and Mommy felt so bad that she couldn't do much to ease you except snuggle (not that either of you minded that).

You are still a happily breast fed baby. Four days a week you get a bottle at Nana's and you take it no problem...it's usually filled with breast milk but occasionally when it's formula, you chug it down no slower!

Aves, you had your six month check up this month and Mommy and Daddy were happy to see you are growing right on track! You weighed in at 17 lbs 6 oz and 27 inches long. You are approximately 75% for weight and 85% for height...our tall girl!

You love your brother something fierce, little girl.

And you intently watch him play, analyzing everything he does ad plays with. You bypass most of your baby toys for Hunter's trucks, tractors, and race cars. I swear, Mommy even thought it looked like you were trying to drive one of the cars along the carpet the other day! I have a suspicion we could have a little Tom-boy on our hands!

Aves, our world is definitely a brighter place with you in it. You make us all laugh on a regular daily basis and I am so thankful. I couldn't have asked for a sweeter, more happy baby than you my sweet girlie!

Mommy, Daddy and Hunter love you with all our hearts! Keep on growing and getting strong!

Love you always,

Mommy

2011-09-07T15:11:00.000-04:00

I just realized I never posted ANY pics from Hunter's 2nd birthday. What an idiot! In my defense, it's been super crazy around here lately.

I don't have a ton from his party cuz I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off...ALL DAY. And he wouldn't cooperate for really any pictures. And he was cranky, running on no nap, and threw a tantrum or two. SIGH.

So I only have a couple to show you from the party. But I have quite a few more from us celebrating it on the actual day.

So without further adieu:

Opening his gifts from Mommy and Daddy.

It wouldn't be a normal day without a lovely tantrum!

Blow out the candle, bubs!

Daddy, Hunter and Great-Grandma chowing down on some cake.

The day of Hunter's birthday party (no nap, partially cranky!)

Sucking the frosting off the candle, after blowing it off.

Cupcake face!

Pinata time!

Hunter loved gathering up the candy.

Aaaahhh, relaxing (while the kids swam) after a busy birhday party. A great couple of days!

2011-08-31T12:24:00.000-04:00

VERY very bad week here.

Not only do we still not have power or water (since Sunday at 5am) but the WORST of all...our best friends, Todd and Mindy's, house burnt down late Monday night/Tuesday morning at 2:00am.

Thank GOD they got out with their three children (Christina-9, Anthony- 2 1/2 and TJ- 1 1/2. Anthony is Hunter's best little friend) unharmed. But my heart is oh-so-heavy for their loss.

It's not just the material loss they suffered (since the house is completely gone and unsalvagable) but even more devastating, is that their 3 sweet dogs and 1 of their 2 cats were killed in the blaze. My heart breaks for them.

The blaze started from candles becuz like us, they don't have any power due to Irene, and must have fallen asleep with a candle going. Todd said they woke up to fire alarms going off, and the foot of their bed ablaze with a small fire going. He screamed at Mindy to go get the fire extinguisher in the kitchen while he tried to put it out but by the time she got back (seconds!) it had spread too much. He told her to get the kids, they had to get out.

The poor labs, all three of them, were trapped on the other side of the fire, in the master bedroom bathroom, barking and crying. I well up every time I think of that and my stomach twists in knots. These dogs were THE BEST and so sweet with everyone, the kids. So lovable. One of their neighbors tried very hard to get to them, crawling in on his belly, but he said the fire and smoke was too much and he couldn't get through...and by that point he was afraid the dogs had probably succumbed to smoke inhalation. On his way back out, he found one of the kitties on the floor, unresponsive. He carried him outside, giving him mouth-to-snout. I'm happy to say, that kitty went to the vet and he is going to (physically) be ok.

It's hard on all of them but the 9 year old is taking it extremely hard since she is old enough to understand. Yesterday night when we saw them, she was so sad and I overheard her whisper to her mom, "I just wanna go home. I want my dogs back."

My heart is breaking for our friends...they are FAMILY to us. Daryl and Todd are like brothers. When I think of how close we could have come to losing them, I just want to throw up. I'm so, so thankful they are still here with us and when I hugged them yesterday, I didn't want to let go! :-( Life is so precious.

2011-08-27T08:36:00.000-04:00

Okay, all this talk about Hurricane Irene has got everyone in an uproar. Friends are posting on FB with pictures of grocery store shelves that are BARREN of milk, bread, batteries etc.

Really?

Is it bad, that I really could care less? I'm not worried, not freaking out, not stocking up on supplies. I'm more annoyed that there is the chance I could lose power and not be able to watch movies. I LOVE nestling up on the couch with some good movies on tv, when it's raining/thundering/storming outside.

I remember bits and pieces of Hurricane Gloria back in '85. I was nine years old and for the most part, I found it all kind of exciting. At one point, I remember, when the winds got reeeeeeeeeeally crazy, I went into our finished basement with my dog, a Shepherd mix named Frisky, who was PETRIFIED of bad weather. If a thunderstorm was coming (and had not even arrived yet) you'd find poor Frisky huddled in a trembling pile of dog in the basement. So down I went, more so I think to keep her company, and watched a little bit of "Pete's Dragon" (LOVED that corny movie as a child!) while riding out the storm.

My father, when he was alive, was a lineman and when ANY type of storms happened, my Dad would be gone for sometimes hours, sometimes DAYS, based on the intensity of the storms and how many people were without power. I remember, he'd come home SO exhausted and eat a home cooked meal and sleep for a long time to catch up on some much missed ZZZzzzz's.

So, if anything, this impending Hurricanes Irene is actually making me quite nostalgic. Is that crazy? I'm thinking of how, when they're big enough, I'll tell my kids "You guys got to experience your first hurricane as babies. And only the SECOND hurricane Mommy has ever been through!" I guess I'm a nut!

2011-08-15T08:10:00.000-04:00

Dear Avery,

Today you are FIVE MONTHS OLD. I really don't understand how this could be...weren't you JUST BORN, my sweet girl?

You are such a mover and a shaker, Avery. When Mommy places you in the center of a blanket you are immediately off and rolling away. You turn yourself all around on the blanket so that you can get a full view of everyone around you! You are a nosey baby. :-) You are very interested in musical and/or light-up toys, and I've even caught you grabbing at some of your brother's toys. You also had a couple firsts this month regarding toys...your first time in the Johnny Jump Up and the exersaucer. You're still a tad too small for the JJU but the exersacuer was perfect! And you look so big and grown-up in it. Of course, Hunter also thinks it's very exciting so he climbs in it often, but you are such a good girl, you are willing to share.

You are still a breast fed baby and now for the past couple weeks or so, you absolutely REFUSE to take a bottle. This makes Mommy a little bit crazy. I went out to a friend's house for the first time since you were born and poor Daddy had a heck of a time...you screamed and cried and fought as he tried to give you a bottle (you won't take one from your Nana either when she is babysitting you while Mommy is at work). Mommy's boss even let me bring you to work the other day cuz I had been telling her how crazy you've been for your Nana. You were a good (if needy!) girl. Mommy also introduced you to rice cereal for the first time last week and it was a hit!

You LOVE eating off the spoon and get so excited that you start shrieking and squealing. And yesterday you had your first offical baby food, sweet potatoes! You chowed it right down. Despite your look in the picture, you really did enjoy it.

You want to be held almost ALL the time. This does make it hard for anything else to get down around the house! But cuddling with you and brother defintely trumps out laundry or dishes anyday. You love to be kissed, Avery, and you are super ticklish. Your most ticklish spots are your arm pits, your chunky thighs and under your chin/neck...I love to hear the endless peals of giggles you let loose with!

We had gotten a good routine going for putting you down to nap/night time in your crib and Mommy was able to lay you down drowsy, with a musical mobile going, and you'd go to sleep on your own. Now? You seem to have reverted and I'm forced to nurse you to sleep most of the time before laying you down. Otherwise you cry and cry and it breaks my heart! You and Hunter share a bedroom so I'm much quicker to run in and check on you when you squawk (than I was when Hunter was a baby)...becuz I don't want you to wake up your brother!

You found your feet at the beginning of this month and haven't let go yet! Your favorite position to be in now is on your back, piggy toes up in teh air and clutched in your little hands.

Daddy and Mommy brought you to the pediatrician (with Hunter for his 2 year appointment) when you were a week shy of five months. You now weigh 16 pounds--give or take--and you are 25 inches long! My big girl, in the 75%! The pediatrican said you are long for your age! So was your brother, so I'm sure you'll take after him in that respect! You had a bad case of cradle cap that just rubbing on baby oil wasn't enough, so your Nana worked on your head a few times, gently with a fine tooth comb, and now your head is almost back to normal! You lost some hair from the cradle cap so Mommy is hoping it starts to grow back soon. I loved how beautiful and dark your hair was at birth!

As always, Aves (Daddy started calling you this and it's stuck!), we feel so lucky to have you. You complete our family in a way I never thought possible. I love your sweet smile and your endlessly happy laughter and I like to you call you my "happy girl". You are OUR happy girl!

Love you always and forever,

Mommy, Daddy and Hunter

2011-08-04T05:54:00.002-04:00

Dear Hunter,

Today you are TWO YEARS OLD.

Never in my wildest dreams, while I was pregnant with you, did I realize what an amazing little boy you'd turn out to be.

Hilarious (we call you "the Clown" or "Goofball" sometimes...and you've inherited that from both of your parents), stubborn (DEFINITELY from your Dad) , handsome, inquisitive, determined, a daredevil. The boy with the 1,000 watt smile. That smile will melt girls hearts someday, but for now, the only girl I wanna know it's melting is your MOMMY. You are also a HUGE Daddy's Boy. Words can not describe the pure joy in your father's eyes when you run to him for a big hug and a kiss, when he gets home. And when he leaves for work and hears you crying and calling out "Daddy!" it just about breaks his heart.

You are talking so much now, buddy, and your enunciation gets clearer and clearer every day. You make your Daddy and Mommy crack up so hard with some of your favorite words: "Niiiiiiiice!" and "Coooooo-eeeee" (for coffee).

You are just starting to show an interest in the alphabet and colors and you quite the parrot, imitating what we say, "1-2-3!" You now try to put your own clothes on (and sometime succeed with your pants, but other times you have a shirt on your leg) and know how to take off and put on your velcro sandals. If we ask you to put your toys away, most of the time you gladly oblige (Thanks, Nana!). When you are hungry, no matter what time of day it is, you ask for "din-din" (Mommy often times says that instead of dinner and i guess it stuck).

Hunter, you are such a sweet-natured boy and always want to please! When Mommy is cleaning, you are quick to help in anyway you can: pushing your stool over to the washing machine so that you can put dirty clothes in with me, dragging out the mop when you see me sweeping or vacuuming the floor. You love to help us cook/bake so often times, we let you have your own bowl and spoon to mix.

I didn't realize it was possible, Hunter, to love you EVEN MORE but when your baby sister was born that is EXACTLY what happened. You turned into this beautifully nurturing and loving brother who hates to hear Avery cry (you get upset and frantically tell me "Cry! Baby cry!" when you hear her crying) and you are always quick to share kisses on her cheeks/forehead/hand/foot. You copy like you've seen Mommy do, and grab Avery's foot and sniff it then immediately pull back and exclaim "Pee-uuu! Stinky!"

You've become a little fish, a boy who LOVES the water. This both pleases and worries Mommy! I'm so glad that you enjoy swimming like your parents do, however, your lack of fear scares the heck out of us sometimes! When we are holding you in the lake, you just want to leap out of our arms, like you think you can float/swim away no problem. This month we had your first EVER trip to the beach and it was enjoyed immensely. I could barely drag you away from the sand and surf, after your first initial nervousness at the small waves crashing in.

Hunter, you are SUCH the boy's boy.

You love trucks, cars, trains (no matter what we see when we're on the road driving, or any loud noise we hear, you excitedly call out "Train! Train!"). Your favorite place to be is rolling around in the dirt, picking up clumps of grass, sticks, or whatever you can get your hands on. For your birthday, one of the gifts Mommy and Daddy got you is a very cool water table and I can't wait to see you messing around in the water and sand! You'll be in your glories!

Oh, bubba, I feel like simple words could never convey the depths of my feelings for you. I literally ACHE when you are sad, I am over the moon happy when you smile and I LOVE you more and more and more every single minute of every single day. You mean more than we can ever say, little man.

We love you forever and always,

Daddy, Mommy and Avery

2011-08-01T07:45:00.000-04:00

Lots going on lately for us in the C-household!

Currently planning Hunter's 2nd birthday party (he turns two THIS THURSDAY...my big boy will be TWO. I still can't wrap my brain around that!) and it's been fun. He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so that's our theme. I got Mickey ears for the kids to wear and I'm lots of little Mickey Mouse touches. :-) I know Hunter will love it! We're doing pizza and people can swim in the lake. Of course this morning the weatherman put the week's potential weather up and it hlowed rain and thunderstorms for this Saturday....GRRRRR. So fingers crossed he is WRONG.

Avery is getting so big and active. She is a rolling machine! She's even attempting to crawl...sticking her little booty way up and underneath her and then trying to scootch along. It's so cute. She's definitely teething but waaaaaaaaaay easier to deal with than her brother was while teething. Heh. That being said, though, I often times can't put her down! Makes it a tad hard to get anything done which is why our house is a total pigsty!

Well, it has been an experience having Daryl's grandma staying here this summer! (She stays for like 2-3 weeks then goes home for about 3-4 nights to just check her mail and keep her house in order) Some days it's VERY trying and annoys the crap out of me. Other times, like when Hunter leaps onto her lap on the couch and throws his arms around her for a big hug and a kiss? It's priceless. He's grown MUCH closer to his Great-Grandma than he previously was, and it is very sweet to see. I know it makes Daryl so happy! And let me tell you, my dog, Tucker, LOVES Grandma. She feeds him every night. She is home with him all day when we're at work and he gets to sit outside in the sun with her or hop in the lake for a quick dip...he is sad when his buddy goes home!

I'm DESPERATE for some ME-time. I seriously have to work it in somewhere (and not feel guilty about leaving hubby home with the two kids...WHY? I have no idea why i feel like that...I handle the two of them on my own all the time so I shouldn't feel bad!). Saturday I was feeling very stressed and so I left the three of them at home and just went to the grocery store to get a couple things. Granted, the store is only about 5 minutes down the road, but I cranked the tunes, opened all the windows and sunroof, and jammed out the way there! I would have taken my sweet time in the store, too, but wouldn't you know it, I suddenly had to go to the bathroom VERY bad and had to leave. Argh! But my 20 minutes to myself was definitely appreciated!

Big D is doing good. He has been taking all his meds (which is something, cuz for a while he wasn't taking ANY thing and we were eating really bad, so he started feeling crappy again) and feeling pretty decent. And he's lookin' good too...heh heh...he lost some weight and the other day he had on a new red shirt and camo swim shorts and I was like, "DAMN, my husband looks hot!" ;-) Now, if only April can get back to "hot"....*SIGH* The weight loss is slow and steady, which is okay, but my body is all weird after two kids and the fat just sits very differently. I STILL can't really fit into some of my pants, even though I weigh a pound or two less than my pre-pregnancy weight. Crazy. And when I attempted to try some clothes on the other day, it WASN'T pretty.

My little Tigger,and his Daddy, last Halloween 2010!

I'm a nut...I'm ALREADY thinking about Halloween. ;-) It's one of my favorite holidays and I'm super excited that Hunter will be big enough to appreciate it this year (last year he was veeeery tired and it was freezing, and I think he wasn't sure what to make of it). I'm trying to think what I want to dress the kids up as this year. Any ideas? I also am contemplating having a Halloween party. I'm a social girl and i LOVE having people over and entertaining. But back when we lived in the "ghetto", our house was way too small so we could only have small groups of people over at a time. Now? I can actually throw a party and FIT more than four people in the house. So, I'm torn between doing a kid party OR a party just for us adults. I'm leaning more towards an adult party, cuz I'm sure as the kids get bigger there will be plenty of time for all their parties! Plus I'd love to really get all crazy with spooky decorations and food. Heh heh. Can you tell I'm ready for Fall? Don't get me wrong, this summer has been fabulous, but Autumn is my most favorite season and I'm so excited that it's so close! I'm ready to put the a/c units away for the season!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-07-21T06:54:00.000-04:00

Dear Avery,

You are now four months old, pretty girl! (as of July 15th...I'm late with her letter this month. Oops!)

Lots of "firsts" for you this month. Your first time sitting in the Bumbo chair....

And now you love it. When/if I take you OUT, you get mad!

Also you have obviously been smiling and laughing for a while now, but this month was a first for what I like to call your "squeal-y laugh". Super high-pitched, almost an excited shriek, and HILARIOUS. We were shopping one day with your Nana and as Mommy browsed clothing racks, you squealed to your heart's content for a good five minutes straight. It echoed loudly throughout the store and people were giggling all around us. It was great! You definitely entertain yourself sometimes, just by laughing, shrieking and squealing as loud as you can. You've obviously discovered, and LOVE, your voice.

This past month was also your first "dip" in the lake. Literally, it was just your piggy toes being dipped in though cuz the water ended up being waaaaay chillier than Mommy anticipated! But you were just as happy to lay back on a beach towel, like the bathing suit beauty you are, and chill out in the shade....

Another first...not so fun...you started teething this past month. Ugh. For a normally happy-go-lucky baby you are taking it pretty well. You DO cry and frantically gnaw on your fists, and drool like crazy, and it does make it hard sometimes for you to nurse...but you still have your sweet happy moments throughout the day!

You are turning into such a strong girl. Right after I wrote your 3 month letter saying how you had not rolled over yet....yup, you guessed it...you rolled over! Mommy thought it was a fluke thing cuz you were laying next to me on the couch (so, sorta on an incline) but once on the floor you started rolling and haven't stopped yet! No matter how many times we flip you onto your back, you immediately roll over to your belly again. And around that same time you started lifting your head and shoulders up off the blanket like a champ, so now at four months, you look like a pro! You will stare at toys (especially those with faces) and smile and laugh and coo. Your favorite "thing" to stare at believe it or not, is the boppy pillow cover! I think you LOVE the animals on it.

For first trips this month, you went to Cabela's (Daddy's favorite store) and also we took a weekend trip to visit your Grammie and G-Pa in upper state NY! You went on a quad, for the first time. Granted, we weren't MOVING, but Mommy can still say you were on it. ;-)

You love your big brother more and more every day, Avery.

And Mommy loves to see him cuddle up to you so gently. The two of you will lay on the baby activity mat together and smile those big, silly grins and it just melts my heart! These really are the moments to treasure, the way he kisses your head/cheek/hand and how you smile oh-so-big at him. You love brother, for sure!

You've also become closer to your Daddy, little Miss Avery. Now that you are smiling and talking, you and Daddy have lots of conversations and cuddles together. It warms Mommy's heart to see and hear!

Something else worth mentioning, you are finally getting into more of a napping routine. On a good day, you take three "regular" naps (anywhere from 45 minutes to 3 hours) and on a not so good day, you are a cat-napping Queen. Thankfully, though, the cat napping is not how you normally do it. Mommy had no choice but to move you to the crib, a few days ago, becuz of how big you have gotten! I think I'd held off cuz I wanted to make sure you and brother were both sleeping quiety through the night, so as not to wake each other up! Usually you are nursed to sleep, wrapped up tight in your swaddle blanket, and then Mommy lays you in the crib. Although the other night I attempted to put you down drowsy and after some fussing, you stared at you musical, bright mobile and drifted off to sleep. Success!

You are wearing 6 month outfits and onesies now, my big healthy girl! And literally yesterday, Mommy started putting you in the next size up for diapers...size 3! And becuz you are big enough now, Mommy has started putting big brother's gDiapers on you and they fit pretty good! You look super cute with fluffy cloth diaper booty, I must say.

Unfortunately we are doing your 4 month wellness visit late becuz Mommy has to bring both you, and Hunter for his 2 year, but Mommy was dying to know your weight so we hopped on a scale at my work. My little pork chop girl, you are SIXTEEN POUNDS! Up from TWELVE pounds ast your 2 month visit! Breastmilk does a baby body good. :-)

You are turning into quite the personality, baby girl. You are SO attached to your Mommy, moreso than Hunter ever was, and it's almost funny to see your turn off the tears as soon as Mommy picks you up or takes you out of someone else's arms. You are spoiled already! But you are coming out of your Mommy-shell a bit, and now seem pretty content with other family members/friends holding you.

We love you Avery, so, so much. Keep growing and smiling and making us happy!

Love Always,

Daddy, Mommy and Hunter

2011-07-10T19:59:00.001-04:00

She's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

It's been a while since I blogged (and at that, I've only really been doing FNL posts) but tonight I figured hey, Avery asleep on me after nursing and Hunter is busy showing his Great-Grandma all the money he's found around the house (Daddy doesn't seem to put ANYTHING in the spots they actually go in...including money. Litearlly piles of coins all over the house.) so I might as well take advantage!

Good weekend. Family time, house-cleaning and organizing, great weather, swimming in the lake AND I got some more sun. Woot! I'm not a pale, white ghost anymore.

And tonight is going to be Avery's first night in her crib! I"m simultaneously super excited and slightly nervous. We started Hunter in his crib at a MUCH earlier age (approximately 6ish weeks, I think?) cuz he was sleeping through the night so early on. And Avery has been sleeping through the night for QUITE a while now but for some reason, I just couldn't part with her sleeping in her bassinet at the foot of our bed. But finally, I felt it was time, and a couple weeks ago mentioned to Daryl that he needed to raise the mattress in the crib, cuz I was ready! I laid her in it today to see how she liked it and little girl was rolling all around, giggling, smiling and cooing at her mobile. And then immediately getting her chunky thigh stuck in between the crib slats and crying. ;-/ So ON went the bumper (which I was trying to avoid until I could find/buy a breathable bumper). Hunter's thick thigh got stuck in the crib slats when he was about a year old and I DO NOT want that to happen to poor Avery. Daryl and I felt SO bad, that time.

Avery and her future hubby, Matthew.

Hunter has been doing SO great lately. Less tantrums and even when he DOES throw them, I try very hard to distract him with something else which sometimes (not always!) works. He's also talking SO MUCH now and enunciating much better. And today we've really jumped into colors and he already remembers "pink" and "yellow"! And we went to my in-laws Fourth of July weekend and Hunter got to ride on a quad with his Daddy for the first time AND catch a ride on a tractor.

My mischevious girl.

So, onto me! I'm interested in starting up some exercise classes but I can't decide between Zumba and Pilates. Both have classes nearby and Daryl already told me, "Do it! Go for it!" so I wanna do some Saturday morning classes. But I can't decide which. I had GREAT success with Pilates years ago but I keep hearing how fun Zumba is. I used to take dancing up until like eleventh grade (and helped teach classes) so I'm not afraid of not being able to pick it up but I just don't wanna look like some old fart trying to shake my groove thang. (ha ha, I'm so "old" at 34 years old, right? Sorry, just been feeling like time is flying by!). So what is your preference iff you've done both? And why?

Okay, I'm off to whip up a berry smoothie for dessert! I'm sure my son will want a sip (ha! a sip?) of his beloved "mooo-eeeee!!"....nighty night!

2011-07-01T06:02:00.003-04:00

I missed last week's FNL. Oops. It's been crazy busy for me lately.
Yesterday we left for upper state NY to visit my super awesome MIL and step-FIL. This is Avery's first trip to NY (although her grandparents have obviously seen her here, a bunch of times). I'm SO excited for them to see how big both kids are getting.
Hunter is talking SO MUCH. He literally will pick something up and excitedly tell me what it is, "Leaf!" "Block!" and his pronunciations are a tad better. Although people other than his Mommy, Daddy and Nana still arent' always sure of what he says. Hunter's great-Grandma often jokes that we need a Hunter dictionary for her.
The weather has been AWESOME. And.. AND...I got to sit outside for 25 minutes yesterday in a lawn chair by the lake!! I could have stayed out so much longer, but was paranoid that i kept hearing the sleeping babies crying. So I went back inside. But in that 25 minutes, I still got a little bit of color on this pale, white body of mine.
I lost another two pounds, woot woot! I have four more to go to reach my first "mini goal". Then after that I want to lose 30 more pounds. Step by step.
Planning Hunter's 2nd birthday party (August 4th) and I'm almost positive I'm gonna do a loose Mickey Mouse theme. The kid LOVES Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (When he says Micky Mouse, it sounds like "Mi-eeee Mow!").
The week after Avery turned 3 months old, she rolled over for the first time! And she hasn't stopped rolling yet. LOL
A month and a half left of my husband's Grandma staying with us. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. *SIGH* She's been driving us freakin' crazy. And Daryl and I have even gotten into a couple fights about it (even though he is just as annoyed). She went home on Tuesday and came back yesterday, BUT, we left yesterday night so I wasn't totally annoyed by this. And my blessed two days of alone-ness with my family? Heavenly!
Hunter being smooched by one of his many girlfriends!
We are going to be shooting off fireworks off the dock on Monday! Well, by "WE" I mean, Daryl. It's going to be a great show!
Fore more tasty tidbits, go see Danifred!

2011-06-21T07:38:00.000-04:00

We had a great Father's Day this year!

After a somewhat leisurely morning where we gave Daddy Daryl his cards (and Dunkin Donuts gift card and pics of him and his babies) in bed, I then made everyone breakfast (eggs, ham and toast), Daryl washed the car while I pushed Hunter around in his toy car, while carrying Avery. We all enjoyed the beautiful morning.

Then after showers and getting the fam dressed, I packed up some snacks (cheese and crackers, fresh strawberries and blueberries, Kashi granola bars and cheezits) and off we headed to a winery in Brookfield, CT. They do wine tastings for $6/person and you get your choice of six different wines off their list. Daryl pretty much tried all the darker stuff while I chose a dry white, a blush, a red, and 3 specialty wines. Can I say "Mmmmmmmmm?!?!?!" The Autumn Harvest was my absolute favorite and definitely different from any other wine I've ever tried before! It is served cold and tasted of cinnamon, and pumpkin, honey and spices and was delish! It was like Autumn in a wine glass and I momentarily forgot that I was wearing flip flops, a tank top and shorts, feeling the warm sunshine beat down outside and was instead transported to cool crisp breezes and the scent of burning leaves floating on the air, and the taste of pumpkin in my mouth. SO GOOD.

We left with our four bottles of wine (there was a pomegranate port that Daryl LOVED and he ended up wanting two bottles of it!) and decided to make a diaper-change and nursing pit stop at a commuter lot before heading back towards home.

Our friends Todd and Mindy, and their three kids, came over around four thirtyish and we fired up the grill. Our family had big steaks that Daryl had marinated and Todd's family had a big rack of barbecued ribs and I made some Bush's baked beans (Southern Pit Barbecue...SO delicious) and steamed veggies on the side. Earlier in the day, we thought we were going to go swimming in the lake but it was such a beautiful, not overly-hot day, that the adults decided not to. The kids played outside riding cars, messing around with the bird bath and generally having an awesome, dirty time.

Pretty CJ "babysitting" Avery while I got parts of dinner together.

The boys LOVED when Daryl ran them down the hill in the car.

TJ, SO CUTE! Avery's possible husband someday!

Hunter kept running off to the nearby puddle and trying to throw rocks in it.

Tucker helped, by cleaning up some spilled Corona.

And the boys getting clean! THEY were clean afterward but sadly, my tub was NOT.

ALL three boys tried to cram into the car...I swear it looked like a clown car at one point.

We plopped the three baby boys (Hunter, his friend Anthony who is 6 months older and TJ who is 1 year old) in the tub but by this time we had three VERY tired pissed off boys who wanted to be back outside playing so there were separate meltdowns going on. And Avery had her screaming moments throughout the afternoon (I'm almost convinced she might be starting up with teething...SIGH) so by the end of the day, I was ONE TIRED MOMMY.

But I asked Daryl that night as we laid in bed if he enjoyed his Father's Day and his reply? "Definitely!" So a belated Happy Father's Day to all you Daddies out there!

P.S. I spent a GOOD portion of the day thinking about, and missing, MY Daddy. Happy Father's Day, Dad! Hope you are smiling down at us!

2011-06-17T23:37:00.001-04:00

What a dreary, yucky day. Especially becuz it's my day off AND I had erands to run and not sure if I'm going to now. Blah. I really hate dragging the kids out in the pouring rain. What to do, what to do...
Went to my boss (she is a ND) as a patient this week to discuss my nutrition while nursing, and the fact that I've been dizzy. I had bloodwork done also to check my Vitamin D and B-12 levels. (The pediatrician wanted me to give Avery Vitamin D drops becuz she is almost exclusively breastfed--she's only had formula maybe like 2-3 times?--but I never did this with Hunter. I asked my boss what her thoughts were on this and she said baby can get Vitamin D through my milk so before she recommended i take a supplement, she wanted to check my levels. Well, my D and B-12 levels are too low. Plus after I showed her a food diary I kept for like 3-4 days she determined I'm not eating nearly enough, and definitely not enough protein and good fats, while nursing. This could definitely account for dizziness and feeling drained. So now I'm making an effort to eat more protein, snack more and make healthier food choices (and more veggies cuz I was seriously lacking in that department too!). And she is gonna help me focus on weight loss cuz I need to lose like 30 pounds to be a healthy weight for my height (and to make me feel better). I'm so happy to finally be paying attention to my OWN health and that I'm making an effort to take care of myself. As Mom's I think it's so easy for us to let ourselves fall by the wayside as we focus on taking care of kids, husbands, SO's, pets, etc.....
I'm LOVING my new car so much. The gas mileage is great compared to my last car. I got gas last Saturday and have been driving the HELL out of it all week, and I think I still have a little less than a quarter of a tank left.
One of my favorite shows strarted back up this week, SYTYCD! LOVE IT! And I'm impressed with the level of ALL their dancers this year...it's gonna be a tough season to narrow it down to a winner.
Avery rolled over for the first time earlier this week, I think it was Monday night? And she hasn't stopped rolling over since! The other day at my mom's, I put her in the swing and didn't buckle her in cuz my mom was LITERALLY gonna take her out in a few seconds after warming up a bottle of breastmilk (I was getting myself ready to leave for work, after dropping them off) and just as I turned my back she flipped over in the swing and shimmied her whole body down and had her legs dangling off when I heard my mom cry out in surprise, "April, look at her!" And she ran over and scooped her out of the swing before she fell out. HEART ATTACK, kid.
My hubby is the bomb! HE bought me a Kindle yesterday with some extra money he made doing a side job...and I was so impressed that he listened when I said I wanted one. Ha ha. Now, I just have to figure out how to USE the thing.
For more tasty tidbits, go check out Danifred's!!

2011-06-15T05:56:00.000-04:00

Dear Avery,
Say it with me now, you are...THREE MONTHS OLD.

I can't understand how three months has seemed like it's gone by in three minutes. I look at you and I want to freeze time, so as not to miss ANY SECOND of you, my baby girl.

You are growing like a weed. Already I'm putting you in some six months onesies and outfits (although you still fit into certain 3 months, based on styles/brands). You are an excellent nurser, and eat anywhere from 2-4 hour intervals. When you get a bottle of breast milk you are downing about 4-5 ounces at a time! You've moved up to Size 2 diapers. Mommy LOVES your Buddha belly and chunky thighs. And we can't forget that chin. Daddy joked, "I can't wait till Avery has a NECK!" Your poor little chunky rolls trap in all the dirt!

You are such a sweet, love-able girl! You are so patient when anyone smooches and loves on you. And you LOVE to laugh and smile. Your cooing is taking on a "conversation" quality. When we talk to you, you goo and gah back as if you are responding to what we've said. And your coordination is getting better. It was probably a fluke thing but you were looking at the pearls on Mommy's shirt the other day, giggling, when you suddenly reached out a determined hand and grabbed a hunk of shirt and pearls in hand!

You have definitely found your fists and spend good portions of the day sucking and gnawing on them. You are NOT a lover of the pacifier though and usually spit it right back out, so Mommy has pretty much given up on it.

You are a Mommy's girl, through and through, Avery.

You could be crying and fussing in someone else's arms and as soon as you are handed over to your mother, you instantly quiet. While this is certainly flattering, sweet girl, it makes Mom crazy sometimes when all I want is a moment to pee in privacy or grab a bite of food. But then I look down at your round cheeks and smiling lips and I can't help but kiss you and be thankful for my Momma's Girl!

You had your first dip in a body of water bigger than a baby tub, recently! Granted, only your piggies and calves were dipped into it, but you were so mellow and calm and seemed to enjoy it. We are going to take you for a dip in the lake soon as well!

One thing you DO NOT like at all is going in your car seat. You are a baby who loves motion so as long as we are driving in the car, you tolerate it, but as soon as the vehicle stops OR if we DARE place your car seat somewhere that isn't moving, you instantly get mad and cry out your frustrations.

You still don't really like belly time and when ON your belly, you don't much lift your head. However, when we hold you against our chests, you have no problem lifting up your neck/head and swiveling it around to check out the world around you. While you still haven't rolled over, you do wiggle a lot and in the pack n play you can turn your body a bit. Night time you are swaddled for sleep and it settles you right down. Now that Mommy wants to start trying for more of a nap routine, she is contemplating swaddling you for your daytime naps as well. You love the swing (and again, the motion!) but it's not always easy to nap in it becuz your brother is pretty loud and often startles you awake. We still have you in the bassinett in Mommy and Daddy's room and I often find myself laughing at this. Hunter had already been in his crib in his own room for about 5-6 weeks by this point. But you are now the baby, little girl, and my LAST baby, and I'm finding it hard to make the switch to the crib!

Speaking of your brother, you definitely are a fan of Hunter and often your eyes will follow him all around the room. You smile and giggle at his antics and it makes Mommy happy that you already love your big brother!

Avery, I love you with all my heart and soul and the longer we have with you, the more thankful I am for the joy you (and your brother!) bring to our lives! Many hugs and kisses, my beautiful baby girl.

Love Always,

Your Mommy, Daddy and brother, Hunter

2011-06-12T18:08:00.003-04:00

Had fun with the babies today. I wanted to video tape Avery but of course Hunter had to get in on the action. And since he was a good boy today--no tantrums!!--I obliged!! Enjoy!

OH, and please disregard the piles of clean laundry all over! LOL Eventually I'll get around to putting them away. (One more thing, the lovely bruise on his forehead was from his most recent head-banging yesterday. That deserves all it's own post coming soon.)

2011-06-10T18:50:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, Big D and I (with his young aunt and uncle) went to see the Red Sox beat the Yankees at Yankee Stadium in NY. Awesome game! Free tix! The Red Sox won!
This week felt both simultaneously fast and slow. HOW is that possible?
Hunter got a hand-me-down car (the kind kids sit in and use their feet to "drive") this week and he's been playing in it NONSTOP. It's so stinkin' cute to watch!

We went swimming in the lake tonight after Big D got home from work. How relaxed I'm feeling now! Aaaaahhhhhh....

We're having Chinese food for dinner tonight. We had take-out pizza one night, and frozen pizza another night. Can you tell nobody feels much like cooking this week? Although in our defense, it's been crazy busy with work and life this week.

My Mommy's 57th birthday is today!

I went to the dentist on Monday for a cleaning. I have TWO CAVITIES. Boo. But on a happy note, I got a new toothbrush. *SIGH*

I'm pretty tired after this week and not very wordy. I need some sleep!!!!!

Anyway, Happy Friday and go see Danifred if you are hungry for more!

2011-06-04T17:31:00.000-04:00

I've turned into a really shitty blogger. I am lucky to only have like one post a week...my FNL posts!! And obviously I can't get my FNL posted on a Friday cuz here it is Saturday night. Close enough, right?
Hunter and I were surprised by a very cool sight earlier in the week, out our back door: a wild (HUGE) mama goose and her adorable fuzzy babies!

I had THE BEST martini ever last Sunday night. A Better Than Sex Martini. Was it better than sex? Well, that might be a slight exxageration. Was it delicious as HELL? Oh yes!
I hopped on the scale at work the other day to see that...I LOST AN ADDITIONAL FIVE POUNDS! Woo to the freakin' HOO! I'm now 2 pounds BELOW my pre-preggo (#2) weight and so happy. But I still have a long way to go to get to my goal, of course.
I'm planning on going swimming in the lake this weekend. I'm a total sissy about cold water so this should be interesting!
I seriously could drink smoothies every day. SO yummy. And I've turned my son into a smoothie-fiend. When he sees me break out the blender, he excitedly starts to cry out, "Moo-ee! Moo-ee!" I'm already dreaming about tomorrow's smoothie lovin'!
I got a new car this week!!! Yahoooooooo! We traded in the shitty used Saturn (it's been in the shop like FIFTEEN TIMES since we got it not quite a year ago) for a *DRUMROLL PLEASE* 2011 silver Ford Fusion. AND. I. AM. IN. LOVE. It's such a smooth ride, it's pretty, it's still roomy in the backseat with both car seats, it has a SUN ROOF, and I am like a pimp in that thing when the radio is on and the bass is booming. Oh and did I mention, I've NEVER HAD A NEW CAR before in my life, until now? I love it!
Love my hubby for picking out my new car (I had no interest whatsoever in that process. I just told him to get rid of the Saturn and get me something GOOD and realiable.)
Hunter tried to get on the bloggin' fun this week:

Avery is getting SO, SO fun. She smiles all the time now and her laughter? Contagious! She giggled SO loud the other night that I couldn't help but laugh back. And she LOVES big brother...she gazes at him and smiles and laughs even when he is not even paying the slight bit of attention to her. Then I point out ot him that she is smiling at him and he kisses her head and excitedly says, "Sissy!" which actually sounds more like "Thithy!" He's such a good brother.
Avery has been mistaken for a boy TWICE this week. Which is why I've been dressing her like THIS the past two days, pretty in pink, LOL:

For more leftovers, go see Danifred!

2011-05-27T10:58:00.001-04:00

And so it begins. This is the first weekend that Big D's grandma will be sleeping over. When we moved into the lake house it was with the understanding that she woudl still be spending her summer weekends up here (she owns this house). While the situation is not ideal for me, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to (1) live on the lake and (2) get our finances back on track. But I don't have to like it, right? ;-)
I just gave both the kids a bath. Meanwhile, I haven't showered since Wednesday night. But at least THEY smell good, right?
If I have to listen to one more tantrum this week I SERIOUSLY might lose it. For real. And THERE starts another.
Woo hoo for a long weekend! We're having a mini picnic on Sunday with just a couple of friends. I'm excited! Grilling and I'll make a pasta salad. And I already told Big D I WANT A MARGARITA. MANY MARGARITAS. I was telling this to my mom and she seriously said, "Well I HOPE you aren't going to get drunk while you are taking care of the kids." Really, Mom? I can't even remember the last time I HAD an alcoholic bevarage so even though I kid, I'll probably have just one. And I plan on enjoying it after the kids are in bed anyway!
I had Hawaiin pizza last night and it was gooooooooood.
I fit into my first pair of pre-preggo pants! Woo to the freakin' HOO!
Sorry this week's FNL isn't very exciting. Not much has been going on AND I still have an entire house to finish cleaning. So far I've only vacuumed, mopped half the kitchen floor (yes only half) and straightened up. Still gotta scrub down the bathroom and counter tops and do more laundry and dishes. Joy.
For more FNL fun, go visit Danifred.

2011-05-23T15:22:00.000-04:00

Boy, I'm cranky today.

Where to begin?

The rain, oh good GOD, this annoying, depressing and crappy RAIN. When is it gonna freakin' end?? For two days in a row now, I've looked out the windows to see two ducks all curled up and huddled togetehr on the end of the dock. Even the DUCKS are sick of this shitty weather.
Gas prices are PISSING. ME. OFF. Not only have we had to cancel our trip to visit my in-laws this upcoming weekend cuz we can't afford the GAS for it, but I couldn't even go visit a friend today (payday is not till Friday and I need the gas in the vehicles to get back and forth to work this week).
I'm seriously craving somethning sweet, but we don't have anything in the house! Not a cookie or piece of candy or dessert-y type food. NOTHING. Maybe this is a good thing.
We are SO broke this week. I hate that. I had to kinda "settle" when we were grocery shopping and not get a lot of the stuff I really wanted to buy.
I STILL don't fit into my post-pregnancy clothes despite being so close. But the muffin type is not something I will leave the house displaying so in the meantime, I am wearing the same two pairs of pants and handful of shirts. Over and over and over again. I do realize that if I'd had junk food in the ouse and eaten it, that would NOT have helped this problem. Grrrr...
My day started off with a stupid argument with Big D this morning. I don't like to begin our days like that.
Both my maternity bras are too small and the underwires are poking through, stabbing me all day long. Ouch.

Can I restart the week? Is that possible?

2011-05-20T05:38:00.001-04:00

THIS adorable baby girl has been sleeping through the night, for the past 2 weeks straight. Mommy is a VERY happy lady. And considering Avery just turned 2 months old this past week, I'm very impressed! Her brother was the same way, sleeping through the night very early on (his first time was at 3 weeks!! It was sporadic for him until about this same age.)

TODAY my Big D comes home!! He's been gone all week for a work trip at the Cape and I missed the crap out of him. As much as he drives me insanely crazy some days, I'd rather he drive me crazy from home. OH, and I'm actually pretty darn proud of myself for surviving this week on my own with a 2 month old and 21 month old. I was afraid I'd seriously be yanking my hair out, strand by strand, by today. It had it's rough moments don't get me wrong, but honestly it wasn't too bad! And I have to admit, my Mommy helped me out. ;-) She slept over two nights (She watches the kids four days a week for me while I'm at work)...I picked her up Monday night when I got the kids after work and she slept over and watched them at my house Tuesday and slept over Tuesday night into Wednesday then I brought her and the kids back Wednesday morning before work. Holy crap, that was a run-on sentence. Sorry about that.
I have this annoying and weird dry skin around my eyes...like rough little dry skin patches on my eye lids and underneath my eyes. It started after the baby was born. I've NEVER had dry skin around my eyes. What the hell is up? And what are your suggestions? My boss (who is an ND) suggested coconut oil but I can't freaking find any nearby. And Whole Foods is kinda out of the way. Maybe this week I can convince Big D to drive us there so I can pick some up. Cuz it looks SO gross when I where eye makeup, it sits on the patches and makes them even MORE noticeable.
Coffee was my savior this week. I think Hunter agrees. Mommy is a bear otherwise, in the morning. "Here Mom, I made you a cup of coffee. You need it."
So I ended up getting my pedicure after all on Saturday! It was NOT the best I've ever had, or the most relaxing, but it was still a little slice of heaven for me. To get out of the house for even an HOUR, no kids and iced coffee in hand, was just what the Dr. ordered. And now my toes look pretty.
I've come to the realization I could never work full time while having babies (nevermind the fact that I could NEVER afford the daycare!) and still keep the house clean. There is just no freakin' way. This week with Daryl gone, the house has morphed into an utter pigsty. I was lucky enough to get a break last night after they both fell asleep, to unload and load the dishwasher. Otherwise we're swimming in fluffy lab-bunnies (like dust-bunnies but composed entirely of lab fur that swirls and rolls across the hardwood floor) and dirty laundry. *SIGH* I guess I know what I'll be doing today and this weekend.
Hubby and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary this week! In separate states! LOL He had bought me a card and left it, very sneakily I might add, behind a picture frame. He told me about it Monday night when he called me (our A-day was Tuesday) so I was able to read it in bed that night and eat a delicious peanut butter cup he left me. We can't afford gifts so this was the next best thing!
If this god damn rain and fog does not stop, I'm going to lose my freakin' mind. EVERY SINGLE DAY THIS WEEK. It's super depressing. See? Normally you can SEE the other side of the lake.
OH. SHIT. As soon as I took that pic of the lake and closed and locked the door...I saw this:

I know the pic is dark so let me break it down for you: Hunter, Mister Too-Smart-For-His-Own-Good, pushed a little box over and stood on it and unlocked the top lock. Up until this point he was only unlocking the BOTTOM lock. Now he knows the top lock is there. :-( Time for a another lock up waaaaaaaay high on the door!

Okay, one more gratuitous baby shot of my little Avery. I need it on this dreary morning.

If you are still hungry for more leftover tidbits, go see Danifred!

2011-05-17T07:24:00.005-04:00

Three years ago today, I put on a kick-ass dress.

Three years ago today, I saw my husband, a mighty "sharp dressed man", at the end of the aisle.

Three years ago today, I exchanged vows with my BEST FRIEND.

And in these past three years, we've made our house a home and brought two beautiful children into the world.

He still gives me goosebumps when he stares into my eyes, just like he did on our first date five and a half years ago.

I feel beautiful and loved and appreciated by him on a daily basis.

Yes, life is not perfect, and we may have our ups and downs, but one thing he and I have always had is a completely open line of communciation. We never go to bed angry at each other. We never leave in the middle of a fight (even though there have been times we both wanted too! LOL). We never leave each other or end a phone call without saying "I love you". We agree on parenting styles and how to make a happy home.

I look forward to raising our children together. And growing old and wrinkled with you by my side, Big D. With you making me laugh till I pee my incontinent pants as we rock away on a front porch, together.

Happy Anniversary, Daryl, I love you with all my heart!

2011-05-16T07:18:00.007-04:00

Okay, so technically this should have been posted Sunday, but in my defense...I was busy super-cleaning the house and helping hubby pack before his week-long work trip. Enjoy!

Dear Avery,

Today, my sweet girl, you are two months old. While I was pregnant with you, two months crept by at a total snail's pace and now that we have you? The months are sliding by quicker than Speedy Gonzalez! I want it to slow down becuz I am trying to enjoy the sweet baby-ness that is YOU.

You smile ALL THE TIME now. And about a week and a half ago, you laughed for the first time. I seriously melted into a gooey pile on the floor when I heard it. The sound was way better than any music.

You are really starting to develop into your little personality, my baby girl. And I'm loving it! The gas has finally died down and you are just mostly a very easy-going baby. I admit, you LOVE to be held, and I'm probably not the best person for nipping that before it gets out of hand becuz I LOVE HOLDING you. Belly time is NOT your favorite, at all. Your head and neck is getting strong and when we are holding you, you lift your head up all the time. But when I lay you on your belly, you don't want to try as much. Instead you make your annoyed cry, face-down into the blanket, until Mommy saves you. I know I should make you do it more often (you've lost a little bit of hair on the back of your head, I'm assuming from laying on it so much) but I find it hard to make you do what you don't want to do. You've got me wrapped around your little finger!

Hunter LOVES you, little sister, and shows you all the time. He calls you "Sissy" and your eyes have really begun to track him when he's nearby. When you are crying, he tries to soothe you with his little hands rubbing your head or kissing your cheek, and I swear sometimes it's all that works. The only thing Mommy has to be careful of is he doesn't know his own strength around you, and sometimes leans on you when hugging you. But you take it all in stride, tough girl!

We just found out you now weigh 12 lbs. 4 oz and are 24 3/4 inches long...my big healthy girl! You've gotten so big! Mommy and Daddy think you will be tall, like your Pop-Pop's side of the family. But you definitely have Daddy (and Hunter's) sweet nose and infectious grin. Your feet, however, are Smith feet like Mommy's! Right now you are wearing 3 month onesies (and can still fit into a few size 0-3 but those usually are just about too tight length-wise) and pants you still wear the newborn size with an occasional 0-3 thrown in for good measure. You also are currently in Size 1 diapers. Mommy has started putting you in dresses here and there when it's warm enough and you look SO STINKIN' ADORABLE. And you are getting almost exclusively breast milk and when it's given to you in bottle form you are drinking about 3 oz at a time.

Mommy had your pictures done when you were a month and a half old, by a really nice girl she went to high school with. Stacy does it out of her home so it was good she wasn't in a rush...you were a cranky girl that night and we had to keep taking nursing breaks!

Speaking of nursing, you are the breastfeeding champ! Mommy loves that bf'ing has been so much easier than it was with brother (and less stressful) and you've only had formula like twice, becuz we do have a frozen breast milk stash in the freezer to use. You take a bottle no problem, which is great, and usually will drink approximately 3 1/2-4 oz in one sitting. You are still eating just about every two hours, but occasionally it stretches out to 3-4 hours during a particularly long nap. And you are sleeping through the night! It's been at least a full straight week (oh wait, one 3am feeding stuck in the middle of the week) and we are THRILLED by this. Both you and your brother are such good babies starting to sleep through the night so early...you both must have realized how badly your parents need the sleep so we're not super grumpy!

Mommy went back to work this past week, and while it was SO HARD to leave you and your brother, it just makes me love you guys more when I look forward to seeing you at the end of the day! I love how your eyes have started to light up when you see me after a long period of time away. So sweet. And Mommy's boss is awesome, letting me now do 2 mornings and 2 afternoons a week (instead of all 4 afternoons, sometimes making a late night for your brother after I would pick him up from Nana's) so once the weather is really nice, we can get outdoors more and maybe squeeze in some library time.

Oh Avery, having you has been even better than I imagined. I feel so lucky, so blessed, every time I hug you to my chest and breathe you in. I love you to pieces, my sweet baby girl!!

XOXOXOXO

Love you Always,

Daddy, Mommy and Hunter

2011-05-12T09:17:00.001-04:00

My first week back at work went great! And my boss totally rocks the house. She gave me the option to change up my hours a bit since she knows I dislike getting home so late and eating dinner late, especially for Hunter's sake (I have a 45 minute commute one way so after picking him and Avery up, we sometimes don't get home till 6:45pm. His bedtime is 7pm. So that means he sometimes eats dinner late...on the nights he isn't eating at my mom's...and he gets NO bonding time with his Daddy!). So instead of what I was doing: Monday through Thursday 1:30 to approximately 5:45-6pm with Fridays off...I now will be doing Mondays off, Tuesday and Thursday afternoons 1:15 to approx. 5:45-6pm, Wednesday morning 8:45-1:30 and Friday morning 9:00-1pm. So I will now have two days where I work earlier in the day and will still have time to do stuff with the kids after work AND maybe actually cook dinner once in a while! LOL My poor hubby, right now, cooks dinner EVERY SINGLE NIGHT when I work. And I'll still have a 3 day weekend, woo hoo! I couldn't be happier!

I am so sick of spiders I can't STAND IT. I walked into our upstairs bathroom two nights ago to find THREE of those disgusting things frantically scuttling away as the light was turned on. This was AFTER I had just killed another one in my bedroom, mind you. *SHUDDER*

So hubby is going to be going away for a week for work (to the Cape! I'm jealous! Wish I was still on maternity leave cuz the kids and I could have gone up with him!), and he asked me if it was okay before he agreed to it. While I don't relish the idea of being a single parent for a week with a 8-9 week old and a 21 month old, I DO look forward to his paycheck from that week and the crazy overtime he will score. We SO need the money!

My friend gave me a ton of clothes this week cuz she lost 50 lbs. and can't wear them. And she knows I've been bitching about not fitting into my stuff yet (I'm SO, SO close but even when I get the pants buttoned there will be some SERIOUS muffin top). I was depressed when I first tried some of them on and they were TIGHT. But then Big D said this morning, "I think you are still losing weight! I can tell!" That made me smile and feel a tad bit better about post-baby #2 body!

I was going to make myself a pedicure appointment for this Saturday, with a gift certificate I've had since DECEMBER, but I waited too damn long and they are booked up. Ugh.

Coming up on mine and Big D's wedding anniversary next week, but since he will be away, we are going out to dinner this Saturday. Three years now since our wedding (but four years now that we've actually been married)! My, how time flies!

Why won't my 21 month old EAT anymore? IS this normal for his age? A phase? IF the kid could flourish on just his favorites (cheese, apples, grapes, bananas, strawberries, oatmeal, cheerios and gold fish) he'd be a happy camper! But it makes MOmmy crazy. I worry he's not getting enough!

I wore heels twice this week for the first time in like a YEAR. And I was stumbling around in them like a drunken sailor. And then the throbbing feet...oh lord! But I'm happy to say, it's getting better. And it's nice to be able to dress in something other than sweat pants, tanks/tees and sneakers/flip flops!

We were supposed to go visit the in-laws in upper state NY for Memorial Day Weekend but becuz of gas prices and how much it would cost us round trip (we'd be taking the truck to fit us, the babies, the dog and our stuff) we have to cancel. I'm so freakin' bummed out and pissed that gas STILL COSTS SO MUCH GOD DAMN MONEY.

For more leftovers, go see Danifred!

2011-05-08T19:37:00.002-04:00

My Mother's Day consisted of... a little bit of this...

...and this...
....a little of this....

....and a lot of this.

A perfect day.

2011-05-06T06:51:00.001-04:00

So, remember how last week I mentioned we had started potty training? Um, yeah. Mommy wimped out already. In my defense, potty training your toddler while taking care of a 7 week old baby who wants to nurse sometimes every hour is freaking HARD. I'm not trying to make an excuse, just trying to make MYSELF feel better and not like a failure for giving up before I'd really started TRYING to potty train Hunter. Plus we had a MAJOR meltdown one day when I thought it would be smart to bribe my child with m-n-m's. Yeah, trying to bribe your kid with 1 or 2 m-n-m's when he really wants to eat like 10 was a bad, bad idea. I won't be trying that again! We will do the whole potty training thing just not right now. I'm thinking in another month or so as the weather starts to get warmer and I can dress him in a diaper and shirt and not have to keep pulling his pants on and off. We'll see!

I can't stand to look at myself naked, right now. But it's like a train wreck that I can't turn away from. I am in AWE of the roadmap of purple-y stretch marks zig-zagging thier way across my gelatinous pouch of a belly. And in a matter of months, I've inherited my grandmother's potato sacks under my eyes. I'm as pale as blinding snow. I've got these weird, dry upraised patches on my eye lids that I've NEVER had before. My hair is limp and lacking a style right now. I'm a mess and feeling pretty badly about it.

I love coffee. So, so, so much. And I'd be lost without my Keurig. 'Scuse me, while I go make another cup of coffee (Cinnamon Roll, mmmm).

I have two pairs of pants that I fit into for work (going back on Monday) and that's only becuz I just BOUGHT them. And they leave crazy insane red marks on my belly when I wear them. Monday is gonna be so FUN. *sarcasm*

My kid's noggin must be made of stone. Seriously. He fell off the couch THREE times today during three separate tantrums (someone desperately needed a nap) and bonked his head on the hardwood floor. The first two I knew he was fine right after but the last one looked BAD and I internally freaked. I RIPPED poor Avery off my boob and practically threw (gently of course) her down on the couch beside me to go scoop Hunter up and make sure he was okay. He was fine. After a few seconds of crying, he was over it.

I've started wearing my flip flops again. Yay, Spring! Of course as I type this, it's damn chilly out.

Within the past week, the baby has turned into a cat-napper and wants to be held almost ALL DAY. WTF?!?!

Daryl and I went on a "date", minus kiddos, last Friday night for the first time in, oh, FOREVER. That "date" consisted of a trip to the mall for me to get a couple of clothing items that fit for work and then we were gonna get a drink afterwards...but I felt badly about staying out too late cuz our babysitters were our friends T and M who had THEIR three kids over our house too and I knew they needed to get to bed. But on the 35 minute ride home we held hands, exchanged a few smiling glances that brought me back to our first date, and belted out the tunes with reckless abandon, music blaring louder than we can normally listen to with the babies in the car. I told Daryl that was a practice date for us and next time we'd get that drink.

I SERIOUSLY have been starving lately. I'm assuming due to breastfeeding (I can't remember if I felt THIS hungry when I nursed Hunter) but I don't see how it's gonna help me lose weight. Ugh.

Avery can now sleep through the night. Does she do it every night? HELL, no. But she has done it like 3-4 times now. What happens is we will have a night she sleeps through, followed by a night or TWO, she doesn't (waking up 1-2 times). For instance the last two nights she was up at 3am and then again at 5am. She's keeping me on my toes, this one.

Yesterday marked NINE YEARS since my Daddy passed away. I still miss him like crazy and wish he could have met Daryl and his sweet grandbabies. :-(

And there's another week of random. Please go check out Danifred for more delicious leftovers.

2011-05-02T14:18:00.007-04:00

Just for fun...some comparison photos!

Hunter is the first photo and Avery is the second.

Look at those matching noses and chins!

The same adorable baby smiles and chunky, round cheeks.

Total sweetness!!

And they both seem to have the same squinty right eye when they smile. Which cracks me up becuz I've always thought that I--Mommy--has a squinty LEFT eye when I smile!

2011-04-29T06:25:00.001-04:00

Wow, another week.

On Monday, I opened all the windows up wide in the afternoon, cuz the temp had gotten up to about seventy degrees. NOT REALIZING my priest neighbor was home (it's his vacation home so he only comes in the nice weather), I was loudly telling Hunter as we began potty-training: "THAT IS YOUR PENIS. PEE PEE COMES OUT OF IT. PEE PEE GOES IN THE POTTY." Then I glanced out the window and saw my neighbor sitting in his hammock, reading. D'oh.

Did you see that above? We STARTED POTTY TRAINING!! So far, I suck at it (not Hunter). I keep getting him to the bathroom AFTER he's already gone in his diaper. Hmmm, this is gonna be tough. And he doesn't' seem to realize that HE will go pee pee in the potty (even though he has watched both me and Daryl go and will tell us "pee pee!" when we go). But he certainly LOVES sitting on his Cars potty seat (the one that sits on our own potty). And he definitely likes to look at his books while on the potty. Like father, like son! I'm probably gonna pick him up some "big boy undies" this weekend but not sure when I'll start putting them on him yet.

My maternity leave is over in a week.

It was like 80 degrees yesterday! Holy crap! After having such cool, rainy and yucky weather and then to suddenly shoot up to 80? It was strange...and I was sweating my hormonal hiney off!

Speaking of hineys, I hopped on the scale at my 6 week obgyn appointment yesterday...and I was happy to see I'm down 20 pounds since the pregnancy began! I have about 2-3 more pounds to go to get to pre-preggo weight, and THEN after that I'll just be (hopefully) losing regular 'ol fat pounds. I'm contemplating doing WW again...although I can't afford to go to meetings (plus I'm not about to cart both babies there) so maybe I'll buy a scale and just do it at home, on my own. Although I have better luck when I do it going to meetings (or even online) or with a friend. Hmmmm....

I am currently in SPIDER HELL. For those of you that know me in real life, you know I have a crazy phobia of spiders. As in, just seeing (even on tv) or being near one, I start to sweat, panic, shake and sometimes even cry. Yep, it's bad. Well now that we are leaving out here on the lake, surrounded by trees...well, you can only imagine the SPIDER population. I thought it was bad when we lived in the "ghetto"...well that was NOTHING. On Monday night I ran out to my car right before it got dark and on the way back in, I saw a gross bulbous, tan colored body with spindly legs on a huge-ass web...to the left of the door I had to go in. I shuddered and FLEW into the house. The sucky part is that I had to go back outdoors to show Big D where Tucker had pooped so he could clean it up (he pooped on the edge of our neighbor's yard, dumb dog!) so I informed him I would not go back out until he killed that spider. I started to open the back door to show him when--HORROR OF HORRORS--I see TWO of them above me on the gutter!! And of course when Daryl jammed the handle of his shovel into each giant, round body they FELL TO THE STEPS (well technically one of them rappelled down on his nasty web, so he definitely was still alive) and out of sight. No way in hell was I gonna go out that door now so I decided to go out the back door and walk around the house. On the way back in, I suddenly thought of the spiders and quickly surveyed the back door. And almost died. TWO on the outside of the door and ONE on the wooden porch rail. OH MY GOD. I started to shake and sweat and tears budded in my eyes as I contemplated what to do. Finally said, "Screw it!" and ran back to the front door and took my chances with the rogue spiders loose on the porch step. Big D held the door open for me and I practically leaped inside like a gazelle. Maybe not as graceful.

Speaking again of our priest neighbor, he told Daryl a funny story yesterday (well funny to us anyway). The priests all go on a retreat each year to a lake in New Hampshire. He said when they arrive, they all go off and do whatever makes them happy...some golf, some play cards, etc. He said one of them, Father B, immediately puts on his swim trunks and races right out to the edge of the dock and shouts at the top of his lungs, "F.UCK THIS WORLD!" and then dives into the cool lake water! Father R (our neighbor) who was telling the story to Daryl, laughed and said, "I guess we all blow off steam in our own ways!" And then Daryl immediately came inside and whispered, "Holy crap, I just heard Father R curse for the first time!" We are potty-mouths here (ALTHOUGH trying to stop cuz Hunter now repeats everything) and had just been joking the day before that we had to remember not to curse in front of Father R and here he told a story and actually said "f.uck" and about another cursing priest. Awesome.

I have so much hand-me-down clothes to go through for Avery that is' INSANE. I don't know I'll have enough time in the day to do it but I have to. This girl is growing like a WEED. Our pediatrician doesn't do 1 month wellness checks...they go straight to to 2 months...so I have NO IDEA what she weighs right now but she's definitely gotta be around 8-9 pounds if I had to guess. And she's lost some of the hair on the top of her head (but not the rest of her hair) so I laugh when looking at her...she reminds me of a little old man who's balding on top.

I started thinking about it this week and realized: only 3 more months until Hunter turns the big TWO. I gotta start planning his party. It obviously won't be as big as his 1st birthday party, and we're gonna do it here (now that we live somewhere where we can actually fit more than 3 guests into our home at a time) and hopefully it will be a nice day so people can swim in the lake. We'll probably do hamburgs and hot dogs on the grill and have birthday cake. I might have Daryl bake his KILLER carrot cake. Seriously, it is THE BEST carrot cake, with homemade cream cheese frosting, ever. I'm salivating right now at the thought of it.

Man, I was wordy this week! For more leftover tidbits, go HERE.

2011-04-25T08:51:00.015-04:00

I know I promised you (heh heh...all 3 of you?) a post about our Easter.

(I am so sick of blogger screwing up the spacing on my posts!!!)

But I really want to talk about my babies today--big surprise--and since it's my blog, I can do what I want to. So, I just decided I'll combine the two!

When did my little baby become such a big boy?? And why does it seem like he went from newborn to ALMOST TWO YEARS OLD in the blink of an eye?
(And obviously a big cheeseball for the camera.)

My 20 month old little man can climb up into his booster seat, put on his bib, eat his cheerios and strawberries in an adult size bowl and spoon, wipe his hands off afterwards, then climb back down! Ack! Can someone pleeeeease tell this kid to slow down and stop growing so fast?!?!

I was watching a show on TV the other day about multi-million dollar listings (a girl can dream, right?) while Hunter puttered around in his toy area, "cooking" in his kitchen. Suddenly the dude on the show cried out "Damn!" and throw his hand up in anger. And that's the moment when my son learned to swear for the first time.

"Day-um!"Came the cry as he lifted up his head from his little pan and threw his own hand in the air. "Daaaaaaaay-um!" and he started giggling. Is it bad that I totally started laughing? And then called his father to say, "Hey, your son just swore but I'm happy to say neither YOU nor I are the reason behind it!" AND has anyone ever noticed the swears and inappropriate words that some shows say now during regular hours??? (I was watching a show last night with Big D when the dude called another dude a "pu.s.sy" and I could NOT believe it wasn't bleeped out! Seriously????)

Anyway, this boy makes me laugh every single day and some days often cry cuz man, the tantrums can be BAD--but I'm finding it much easier now to redirect him BEFORE a meltdown hits. Well, when I can sense it coming. Some days, it's just impossible. Case in point, Friday afternoon Hunter handed me his sippy cup with a question of "Mook? Mook?"

I was ecstatic. He was asking me for milk! (He never asks me for a drink/snack/whatever...I usually have to guess based on his behavior/time of day.) So we scurried to the kitchen where he watched me pour the milk with a HUGE smile on his face. I started to screw on the cap and he proceeded to scream bloody murder.

Hmmm...oooookkkkaaaayyy. "Do you want chocolate milk today?" I asked wondering if maybe that was it. He flashed me another 100-watt grin and said, "Mook? Choc?" so I happily thought This is easy! He tells me what he wants, and I'm able to get it for him.

I screw the top on the sippy cup after mixing in the chocolate syrup, and place the sippy cup on the edge of the counter (He likes to grab it down himself) and Hunter proceeds to shove the cup across the counter with an ungodly screech, and then starts to cry as he drops to the kitchen floor. Um, what? So this is where we are right now. Still not quite communicating with each other but getting a tad better!

And then there is my girl! She is growing by leaps and bounds! When I hold her (especially in the Baby Bjorn, which honestly, is the only way I can vacuum, do laundry, make lunch some days), I can really feel the difference in her weight. My back is starting to ache! And her length...woo nelly, her legss have gotten so much longer. And she is starting to chunk up.

My favorite thing has to be her cheeks and double chin. Delectable.

And she is so much more alert, napping a tiny bit less through out the day which makes for a much more entertaining belly or floor time. Well, as long as her brother isn't trying to lay across her body (he wants to hug her a little TOO much sometimes). She still eats a lot and is gassy, but doesn't scream as much. I was worried about the fact that she hadn't pooped since Friday at 11:00pm UNTIL her massive explosion last night at almost midnight.

As I praised the powers of poop, she then proceeded to pee on her clothes, clean diaper, clean swaddle and my sheets. Um, yes. This girl has gotten me GOOD. I could probably count on my hand how many times Hunter had pooped/peed on me as a newborn but with Avery? I've lost count! She definitely is job-security for our washer and dryer.

And onto Easter! We are not religious people, and don't go to church. I do believe in God but for me, Easter is honestly "just another day" most of the time with some chocolate bunnies and baked ham thrown in for good measure.

But yesterday felt different.

Maybe becuz I had my family with me and I was feeling so...complete? Maybe becuz the air was warm for a change and the sun was struggling to brazenly poke free of those pesky clouds that we've seen too much of the past few weeks?

Maybe becuz I was feeling so thankful for all that I had and all that Daryl and I have accomplished? I didn't super stress about my home being immaculate before family arrived, I let Daryl take the reigns on dinner, I snuggled my Avery and watched the joy in Hunter's eyes as he dyed Easter eggs the night before.......and then munched happily on m-n-m's from his Easter basket Easter morning (yeah, I let the kid eat "m-m's" at 7 in the morning...your point? LOL) and chase his bunny shaped "been-been" around the house (that's Hunter-speak for BALLOON). (And yes that is toothpaste in my son's Easter basket/pail. The only candy he actually got was in the plastic colored eggs.)

I didn't even feel stressed as my little man threw his first tantrum of the day becuz we took his beloved "m-m's" away.

(Good Lord, why didn't anyone TELL me I'm white as a snow with a set of luggage under my eyes? Ewwww! I think Mama might hit up a tanning bed once or twice so I don't look like death warmed over!)

I laughed as my almost-one and a half month old briefly clutched a plastic purple Easter egg in her hand and Hunter giggled at his sister (and ignored the clean laundry piled up behind me on the couch).Daryl and I smiled at the uncertainty Hunter showed seeing his first bubbles...until he soon was chasing them around the living room!I enjoyed the time we spent outside with family after our early dinner, even as the sun dipped back behind the clouds--it couldn't do anything to dampen my mood!Hunter had a blast outside and when I made him come in for a diaper change he absolutely FREAKED out. After a clean dry diaper, he was practically throwing his sneakers at me, begging, "Sneaks? Sneaks??" his way of asking to go outside. Since I was nursing Avery, my mom's boyfriend John took him back outdoors to Hunter's Dad, Grandpa and Great-Grandma. And his "new" hand-me-down slide from our friends' Todd and Mindy.Only a toddler could make a wife-beater look SO CUTE. Seriously.And I felt a lump in my throat as I watched my Mom loving up on her grand-babies. I had a brief moment of sadness when I started thinking about what my Daddy is missing out on, and wishing he could be here with us, but I didn't think he'd want me to spend the day feeling sad so I just continued to enjoy the moment. A sleepy boy after his nap. Still not quite awake and ready to greet our guests.

But always ready to love up on his sister! (Even when he was yanking her headband down over her eyes and laughing.) For me, Easter is about my family and the love I feel for all of them. :-)

2011-04-24T19:57:00.002-04:00

Why I absolutely LOVE having a little girl....
...and we can't forget about my handsome boy!Our happy family... ....I promise more of a post about our Easter in a day or so but for now...

I hope you all had a HAPPY EASTER!!!!

2011-04-21T08:34:00.008-04:00

I can't believe another week has gone by already!

My maternity leave is up in about two weeks. I want to cry. :-( I'm gonna miss these two munchkins SO MUCH.

I wish my son would stop head-banging. And no, I don't mean to really cool music. When he is mad/frustrated/tantrum-y he bangs his forehead on the hardwood floors. This past week he did it (banged his head like 8-10 times in a row) so hard he gave himself a huge egg on his forehead. And Big D (who I called at work to tell him about it) was like "You have to stop him from doing that." Um, seriously? First of all, half the time I'm nursing Avery and can't jump up until the damage is done. Secondly, I sometimes manage to throw a foot out and stop it but usually he just dodges me and goes further away to bang his head. I looked online and saw it's pretty common at this age in like 20% of toddlers (mostly boys) and that they usually outgrow it by age 3. OMG, please kid, don't continue to do this until you are THREE!!

I've been eating waaaaaaaay too much pizza lately (twice this week already). Even though it's my ultimate favorite food...I'm surprisingly getting tired of it.

I took the kids for a couple of walks this week and god did it feel SO GOOD to get some fresh air! But how annoying that it's JUST NOW finally starting to get nice out when I have to go back to work. :-/

I got my new blender last week (after shattering the last one in the sink. Oops) and have been enjoying my fruit smoothies this week! Boy, I didn't' realize how much Hunter and I missed our smoothies.

Avery's gas issues have gotten SO MUCH better (knock on wood). I haven't even had to rely so much on the Mylicon and Gripe Water. I'm just assuming her little 1 1/2 month old belly is starting to finally adjust. Either that, or I'm just really burping the shit out of her now!

I realized this week that the reason my undies keep falling down is that I'm still wearing maternity underwear. But I still don't fit into my "regular" undies and pants unfortunately so I have no choice. I'm SICK OF MATERNITY AND SWEAT PANTS. For real. And what the hell am I going to wear to work?

We've started cutting back on the binkies this week, with Hunter. I threw away 3 so far. I still give them to him at nap/bedtime but they are not lying all over the house now so he can just randomly pop them in his mouth throughout the day. He doesn't ask for them, however, he's started putting Avery's in his mouth (hers are different than his, and up until this point he knew which binkies were the baby's and which were his). *SIGH*

I was gonna start potty-training this week but the damn toilet seat we bought doesn't fit over our toilet. I *really* want to start before I go back to work. We'll see what happens.

Hunter has gotten SO LOUD lately. Whether he's singing/talking/laughing/playing/crying it has to be AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. It wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't doing it, half the time, in Avery's little sleeping FACE.

I can't wait to color Easter eggs on Saturday. Yes, so Hunter can enjoy the fun of it, but also becuz I'm a big giant kid who just loves to do it herself! Oh, and I'll be buying Big D some Reese's Peanut Butter eggs becuz he likes them and I will then get to eat some myself. YUMMO!

HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!

For more yummy leftovers, go HERE.

2011-04-19T07:57:00.005-04:00

Had a fabulous weekend with awesome friends who stayed with us...

the Maine-iacs!

The boys had a blast playing together (especially Hunter)!
And everyone got lots of baby snuggles in.

The kids were on the ride-on toys all weekend (except for Sunday, which was a gorgeous day...so we finally got some outdoor time)!

Sunday we went to Herd State Park for a walk and some fresh air!

This was at the end of the walk, when my son was getting VERY tired.

Walking with my girl!

The boys enjoying nature together.

Hunter's "deer in the headlights" look. Heh heh.

Come on, Mommy! Keep on walking!

A sleepy morning....

Aaaahhhh...bliss.

2011-04-15T05:00:00.000-04:00

Dear Avery,

Sweet baby girl...today you are one month old! I can hardly believe it! You'd think I'd remember how quickly the first month goes by, but it still blows my mind to see how much you are already changing before our very eyes.

You no longer fit into your Newborn sleepers--not becuz of weight but becuz you are so long! You've got Mama's long legs, skinny feet and long toes, for sure. You can still wear Newborn size onesies and pants but it's really only a matter of time before they are just too small. I've started putting you in Size 3 Months so you have a little more room to grow. You are also now into Size 1 diapers, cuz the NB just don't fit anymore. Funny to think when you came home from the hospital, the NB diapers still looked too BIG!

We are exclusively breastfeeding right now and you seem to be growing and thriving! You go anywhere from 1-3 hours in between feedings (at night you now have been going FOUR hours between feedings which makes a sleepy Mommy happy. Go, Big Girl!!). You are having some issues with gas and spitting up lately, unfortunately. Mommy talked to the nurse at the pediatrician's office who said you need to be burped more often becuz most likely what is happening is you are guzzling down the milk TOO FAST (my let-down comes out like a fire hose which doesn't help!) and Mom can actually hear you gulping loudly which means you are taking in some air with your meals. That means the air is getting trapped UNDER more breast milk and it has to come out, which is why you are spitting up so often. So now I burp you every minute or so into the feeding and boy, oh boy, are you a mad girl when I take you away before you are done! My little strong-willed, and hungry, girl!

You also are napping well through out the day, either in your pack-n-play (although not so much when you have gas), reclined on your boppy on the couch beside Mommy or on my chest! You love to be carried around in the Baby Bjorn carrier and often times snooze in it. Mommy did manage to take a shower the other day while you napped in your swing for 2 straight hours but so far, that hasn't happened again. You like the swing, but you don't LOVE the swing.

You seem very infatuated with your brother, which makes Mommy and Daddy happy. We hope you two get along and are close siblings! Hunter LOVES his sissy and constantly wants to hold your hand (he especially likes it--and laughs--when you flail your little arms and accidentally whack him in the cheek!) or if you cry, he makes sure to kiss the top of your head or your cheek to soothe you. One day this past week you were crying SO hard from the gas, and Mommy just couldn't seem to console you so she sat you up next to Hunter and rested your cheek against his (which made him smile as he sat so still!) and you instantly quieted down! Awwww, Brother! It was enough to almost make your Mommy cry. Mom DOES have to watch him carefully cuz occasionally he's tried to grab and move the boppy while you are on it OR he's tried to pick you up when we were all laying on the floor.

Avery, your little cheeks are filling out, and your double chin, and Mommy just can't stop kissing you all day! I definitely wouldn't call you a chubby baby--yet--but I bet it's only a matter of time before your rolls start filling out.

You are also starting to make those adorable "Gah!" sounds and Mommy is pretty sure you even gave your first REAL (non-gas) smile last night! Daddy was holding you while M0mmy took a MUCH needed shower. When I came out and over to you, I bent down and smiled and started talking and you immediately smiled in return. It was brief, but adorable! I can't wait to see more of those little smiles.

Avery, life as we know it has changed with you in it. You've brought more joy in this one month than i thought was even possible. I can't bear to be away from you for very long or I literally start to ache. You complete our family in a way I never even dreamed of, our final piece of the puzzle. I am so looking forward to watching you grow and learn and play and LOVE.

Thank you, my baby girl, for blessing me with the daughter I always wanted, and a sibling for my son. And for creating that even softer side of your Daddy that is especially visible as he gazes down at his little girl.

We LOVE YOU.

xoxoxoxox,

Daddy, Mommy and Hunter

2011-04-11T04:01:00.001-04:00

This is my first Friday Night Leftovers...I decided to hop on the bandwagon after reading about it on two of my friends sites (Karianne and Sarah). So, here I am!

I have to admit, I'm a little nervous, feeling like the new kid on the block. "Will the other kids like me?" LOL Be gentle. I'm still a hormonal postpartum woman, here!

My 20 month old son, Hunter, has been talking up a BLUE streak lately. And by "talking" I mean mostly jibber-jabbering with random words mixed in. I KNOW he is trying hard to tell me something...but i can't for the life of me figure out what it is. So instead I just smile, nod and often say "Really? You don't say!" which makes him want to repeat the whole story all over to me. SOOOOO stinkin' cute. I worried a bit about how he isn't talking as much as some other kids his age that we know, but I think it's just a matter of time before he really starts stringing words together and (hopefully) enunciating a tad more so not just his Mommy, Daddy and Nana understand him!

One of my friends, Keri, emailed me the other day about possibly meeting up for a glass of wine (or two or three) at a nearby tavern. I moved recently and I am now MUCH closer to her, and since we haven't seen each other in FOREVER, this is the perfect reason now to hang out. It's been way too long since we had one of our "Wine and Whine" sessions. And I can't get it out of my brain, so Keri, let's set it up!!!!

My suuuuuper short maternity leave is almost up and I'm very sad about it. I feel like the weather is JUST starting to get nice and there is so much opportunity to spend it outdoors with the kids. Granted, I only work part time, so I can try to squeeze in some fun time in the mornings (once I get a better handle on this "two kids under two" thing!) and also on my days off, Fridays, and hte weekends. But my other reason for being sad? I feel like Avery is getting gipped. :-( She only gets me home with her (and her brother) for 6-8 weeks whereas Hunter had me home with him for six MONTHS. It was so amazing to be home with him for that long, to watch him grow and thrive and learn something new every day, and I'm feeling anxious that my daughter will be missing out on that, and I will be missing out on HER. *Sniff sniff*

I'm getting back into my baking! It's been QUITE a long time till I felt like I could just randomly bake, what with my crazy on-the-go toddler. And then I go and throw in a newborn and suddenly NOW I want to bake all the time? LOL Of course, that certainly won't be helpful once I begin my diet...hmmmm....

Some of my FAVORITE people, our friends who live in Maine, are coming to CT this weekend to stay with us! I'm so excited I could burst! Although, crap, now I'm sweating as I stare around this horrible MESS of a house with toys, dirty dishes and clothes and dog hair EVERYWHERE. Cleaning this up will be interesting!

I'm not crying as much. Does that mean I'm finding my "Mommy Groove"? Granted, it's STILL hard trying to get out of the house with two little ones (I've only done it like 3-4 times so far for two pediatrician appointments, one park visit with a friend and her 3 kids, and the grocery store the other day...and today we make our Target trip!) but it's not AS hard, if you know what I mean? I still have to start packing up diaper bag(s) and clothes like 3 hours in advance, and it literally takes like 30 minutes to get OUT of the house, but I feel like I'm making progress.

Big D and I were talking about going out one night. Together. Sans children. I'm so anxiously excited I can't stand it! The last time we did that was probably my birthday in December, and before that? Maybe like 6-7 months give or take? We are LONG overdue. Feeling the need to reconnect, on an adult level, and just enjoy each other.

Living on the lake ROCKS. Every morning I sit on the couch, nursing Avery or drinking my coffee while she naps and Hunter plays in his toy area, and stare dreamily out at the water. Some days it's choppy and crazy and other days smooth as glass, but I love it all. I can't wait till it's warm enough that I can leave windows open and LISTEN to the sound of it lapping gently against the dock. Pure bliss.

I'm so irritated. We have freakin' ANTS in our kitchen!! ARGH! Spring is here, I guess.

My baby girl is one month old today!!

There you have it, my first Leftovers! If you want to read more, go check it out HERE!

2011-04-09T09:20:00.004-04:00

Breastfeeding Mom's...I need some guidance/advice/thoughts... NOTE: Stupid blogger screwed up all my spacing. Sorry this is all smooshed together! About a week ago, Avery started with being very gassy and spitting up--a LOT. I'm feeling very frustrated becuz I don't know what to do, or if it's something I'm eating that's causing it. Some background on Avery and her nursing style: She has been a cluster-feeder since the beginning, often times eating every 45 minutes to an hour. Thankfully, her night time feedings have spread out to about every 3 hours, but during the day it's still pretty much every hour (unless she is taking a nice long afternoon nap, so that would be a stretch of 2 1/2-3 hours). I don't always feed her on both breasts. If she seems full and/or pulling off, I just nurse her on one side. I'd say it's like 50/50 of sometimes nursing on one side, sometimes nursing on both. I tried (in the beginning) to nurse her doing the football/clutch hold (which worked great for Hunter) but both her and I were getting very frustrated and so I switched to the cradle hold although I don't support her head with my arm, cuz she is laying across the boppy during feedings (her belly pressed up to mine and her body curved around me like a C). Also, I've been burping her AFTER the feeding is over. So some questions, I was looking up stuff online about babies that spit up a lot, and I read to have baby supported more upright while eating. Um, how the heck can you do this while breastfeeding? She only gets a bottle like once a week so far (just to get her used to them for when I go back to work) so obviously during a bottle feeding I can understand holding her upright. Also, should I be burping her more often maybe, could that be (becuz I'm NOT) contributing to too much air in her belly? Also, food. Food, food, glorious food. WHAT THE HELL CAN I EAT? I feel like everything I eat must be causing her gas and discomfort and I feel horrible. But at the same time, I gotta eat AND I wanna enjoy what I'm eating! What (other than the obvious: broccoli, onions, peppers, fiber) foods can be secretly causing gas that I'm not aware of? Here is an example of my day...this was yesterday: Early morning: cup of coffee with cream and sugar, water Breakfast: toast with peanut butter, a banana, glass of water Snack: (sometimes, and depending on what food is in house) a brownie, cookies, piece of fruit, or maybe a yogurt. Glass of water. Lunch: sun dried tomato wrap w/mayo, avocado, tomato, American cheese and low-salt ham. Glass of water. Oh also a small amount of cold vegetable risotto salad (kinda like a pasta salad) and THAT I know has onions in it, so I'm thinking the onions. But seriously? I hardly ate any! Snack: If I'm having a bad/tired day I *might* have another cup of coffee. But that's probably only been like twice this week. Dinner: spaghetti, tomato sauce, one meatball. Half glass of 1% milk. Salad w/lettuce, tomato, cucumbers (are cucumbers gassy?), and peppers. And honestly I only ate like maybe 4-5 little pieces of pepper...like the size of dimes. So, now thoughts? What can I do differently? Either with how I hold her, how often I feed her, what I eat, etc? Should I try to space out her feedings more, cuz I wonder if she is eating too much? Although at this age, I usually feed on demand. I wanted to let HER tell ME when it's time to eat, and this is how i did it with Hunter. Hunter had some gas issues as well but I don't want to go through it all again with Avery so I'm trying to be more proactive this time around (and feeling more secure and relaxed with nursing this time around, knowing I'm doing a great job! With Hunter I was often stressed and/or nervous). Oh, almost forgot! For her gas, I've been giving her Gripe Water (not sure if it's really helping though...might try Mylicon which is what I always gave to Hunter). I've also been bicycling her little legs, or trying to lay her across my lap/arm on her belly, and burping often. Okay, I think that's everything!!

2011-04-05T07:32:00.007-04:00

Started my morning off with little girl projectile-pooping on my bed during an early morning diaper change. This is the second time now she's done this to me (spraying her jammies, swaddle blanket and MY blanket) so you'd THINK I'd be quicker and would have learned my lesson by now. Nope.

But it was okay, cuz it came after a consecutive FIVE HOURS of sleep! Yay! Go, Avery!! Let's hope it wasn't a fluke thing.

Anyway, my babies are a handful but I certainly love the heck out of them! Despite his constant tantrums with me, Hunter loves his little sister and always wants to gently touch her head (occasionally he tries to stick his finger in her mouth so I have to redirect him!) and he coos to her in a tone that sounds VERY similar to what his Mommy uses. ;-)

Avery is now growing out of her newborn clothes and in diapers we've finally switched over to the Size 1's. She is so much more alert and awake a lot more during the day, content to watch everyone. She seems to especially like to look towards the bright windows (we don't have any blinds or curtains up yet in the all the windows facing the lake). So far, she doesn't seem super fond of her swing which sucks for Mommy. Sometimes I need a break! And I now laying in her pack-n-play isn't' the most stimulating so we've started belly time. Again, not her favorite, but we're working on it.

Unfortunately, Avery seems to be VERY gassy and I'm a little confused becuz some of the days it seems the worst, I have NO IDEA what I ate that could have caused it. But we had a similar problem with gas with Hunter so I will just try to keep track of what I eat, to see if there is one thing in particular that's upsetting her belly!

Both kids have been super needy lately. Obviously, the newborn, but also Hunter. He is slooooowly adjusting to the fact that he is s not numero uno child in the house anymore. Some days are much harder than others. And of course it's the age he is at. He's into EVERYTHING...and I do mean everything. He is tall enough to get into our junk drawer and is constantly running around with pens and sharpie markers (which isn't horrible) but then one day he came walking out with a pair of scissors clutched in his determined little fist and I almost had a heart attack on the spot! And we now have to keep the bathroom door closed at all times cuz a certain little man is fascinated with the toilet. He is SO ready to start potty training...he's given us lots of signals. I feel bad that we haven't been able to focus on it yet. He said "Pee-pee!" the other day and started yanking at the crotch of his diaper so we rushed him in there and I was happy to see he had a dry diaper so I thought "This just might work!" as he tried to climb onto the toilet. Daryl and I took turns sitting him on the toilet seat but he is definitely nervous about falling in! And he doesn't want to sit on his baby potty on the floor, he WANTS to sit on the regular toilet seat, so this week I gotta find one of those baby sized toilet seats to go over ours, so we can start focusing more on potty training.

Annnnnnnnd.....things have been a little tense between me and Daryl. :-( I know the stress of a new baby is hard enough sometimes, and then throw in the fact of a constantly crying-meltdown-having little 20 month old, coupled with Mommy's raging hormones and stress...well, we haven't exactly been very nice to each other lately. I've tried to not let it get to me but it's not easy. I sometimes just want to feel the support and calming presence of my husband when he comes home from work but when he immediately loses his patience with me becuz I'm throwing a baby at him, moaning about the fact that I haven't showered in days and the house is a mess, or Hunter is wigging out...well it's not there. i know this is just a bump in the road and that we'll get through it, but it's been so very hard on me emotionally, mentally, sometimes feeling like I'm ALL ALONE. I know I'm not, deep down, and I realize that he is dealing with his own type of stress, but I just wish I had a little more EMOTIONAL support lately, or even just a little empathy. And now I feel super needy and stupid having typed this because I don't mean to make it sound like he is not helpful. But I just need to vent/purge, I think or I'm going to lose it. I've had quite a couple of crying jags lately but they seem to come when I've reached my absolute limit of holding so much stress inside. And the ironic part is you'd think I'd be HAPPY to go back to work, with how crazy it's been at home, but I'm sad about that as well! My maternity leave will be over in like 3-5 weeks (Daryl wants me to go back at 6 weeks due to money, and I want to go back at 8 weeks--cuz I'm majorly stressed about not having enough pumped milk in the freezer yet and that we will end up having to supplement with formula which is fine except I worry my milk will dry up--hence the reason I have NO IDEA yet of when I will go back.) SO that's another thing making me crazy lately.

And I have practically NO TIME to pump. I maybe manage 1-2 times a day which is NO WAY to build up my frozen supply! But it's nearly impossible lately. Avery can sometimes go 2-4 hours before a feeding but often times she is eating EVERY HOUR. So just when I finish feeding her and try to get her down in pack-n-play so I can sit down to pump, Hunter needs a diaper change or breakfast/lunch/snack or Avery needs a diaper change or SOMETHING happens to interrupt. So, I'm frustrated about that. Formula is SO freakin' expensive and I'd like to not to have to buy it until I'm no longer nursing. *SIGH*

Because I don't want to leave this post on such a downer note, here are some pics of when Hunter helped his Mommy bake cookies last week!

And this little girl determined that chocolate chip cookie-flavored breast milk was waaaaaay too gassy for her. Although, it probably didn't help that Mommy ate like EIGHT of them.

2011-04-01T07:12:00.006-04:00

Since Avery was born about 2 1/2 weeks ago, there have been some really tough days. But at the same time, there have been some moments of "I CAN do this." and "I feel like Super-Mom today!"

Well, the other day was definitely one of the toughies. I had an official "Bad Mommy" day...but it wasn't having to do with the newborn. It was with the toddler.

Lack of sleep, a baby hanging off my boob what feels like 24 hours a day, a horribly messy house, an utterly ANNOYING whining, pacing dog with anxiety problems coupled with a (what feels like 24 hour) tantrum-throwing 20 month old finally took it's toll and I just EXPLODED.

Hunter is in a tantrum phase. I use the word "tantrum" loosely. I've actually videotaped him a couple of times (so that when I start to feel sad about not having any more kids, I can play the video back. Heh.) and it's crazy to watch. We're talking sometimes 5-10 straight minutes (with little catch-your-breath moments here and there) of screaming, crying, tears, banging his head repeatedly on the hard wood floor, flinging his body across the floor at my feet, throwing anything I try to hand him, wanting to be picked up even if I have just yelled at him...UTTER CRAZINESS.

And the day before yesterday, I just completely lost it. Hunter did this ALL DAY LONG and I found myself screaming at him ALL DAY LONG. Instead of redirecting him like I normally try to do during a particularly bad tantrum, I often completely ignored him and attempted not to cry hysterically. As he climbed all over me on the couch while I struggled to keep Avery attached to my boob and on the boppy, I frantically bit my lip to hold it all in--sometimes without success. I repeatedly tapped his little hiney when he climbed the tv stand, stole my cell phone and ran from me with it, dug his hands into the garbage can...and tried to block out the sound of his cries and the tears that rolled down his round cheeks.

It was a very, very bad day.

And then the next day hit and it suddenly dawned on me. These tantrums weren't just Hunter's normal run-of-the-mill meltdowns. (He IS also sick right now with a nasty cold but it wasn't even just from THAT.) I started to realize that they often struck when I was "busy" with the baby, whether it be nursing or changing her diaper or just talking to and kissing her sweet little cheek.

"Oh, so he's jealous of the baby." My mom said yesterday when she came over for a visit and I explained my thoughts to her.

No, jealous is not the word. Hunter LOVES his baby sister! He constantly wants to stroke her fuzzy-soft hair, stroke her cheek or lay his body/head beside (on top of! LOL) hers and say "Baby!". He wants to give Avery her binky, a blanket, a clean diaper, a toy CONSTANTLY.

But he is having a little trouble adjusting to the fact that Mommy (and Daddy and Nana) are not all his own, now. And now that I'm realizing that, it kills me how I reacted the day that I had my Mommy-meltdown. I yelled at my sweet baby boy when all he wanted was to cuddle me, touch me, love me...and for that I feel like the worst Mom in the world.

I've since tried to make it up to him by giving him as much attention as I can muster, no matter how tired or cranky I may be. Instead of holding Avery's sleeping form in my arms, I put her into the pack-n-play and bear-hug my boy, and pretend to cook in his toy pans and tell him "Who loves you?? Mommy!" as he laughs and presses his cheek against my lips for a smooch.

But I can't get over this guilt of feeling spread thin now. I know it will get easier. In my brain, I know this. But in my heart, I feel badly for the piece of me that is no longer available becuz it's now divided up, like pieces of a pie, between my son and my daughter.

How do I get over this feeling of having failed my son? Will it ever go away or will I ALWAYS feel like one of my kids is getting gipped?

And I'm sure my damn hormones aren't helping me in this matter. *SIGH* God, I can't wait to stop feeling like a crazy, emotional wreck.

2011-03-30T13:34:00.006-04:00

(WTF!!! STUPID BLOGGER deleted all my damn paragraphs so this looks like one big giant f'ing run on paragragh! I have no patientce to correct this right now) Holy crap. Can someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery? I now truly realize how hard it is with two kids under the age of two years old. It started after a friend's daughter was so generous as to share her cold with Hunter. Now I've got a miserable, screaming, tantrum-throwing toddler who is constantly wiping his snot-filled nose on my sleeve, my chest, a pant leg. Oh, yeah, and tissues too. He DOES know how to blow his nose into a tissue but it's a short little blow so nothing much ever comes out INTO the tissue, just all over his face. Ugh. And yesterday was fussy newborn day. Avery was awake a LOT yesterday and did NOT want to be put down. Which wouldn't be such a big deal except, see above with sick toddler. Then throw in a visit to the pediatrician and you have GOOD TIMES all around. Yesterday was my first ever trip out ALONE with both kids. I was nervous, to say the least. But still I figured, "I gotta do it SOMEtime." Well, yesterday was the WRONG day for it. Heh. Both babies finally fell asleep on me but of course, it was literally like 45 minutes before I wanted to leave for the appointment. I waited too long, wanting them both to at least have gotten a 20 minute nap. But then I was hustling changing diapers, putting on Hunter's sneaks and coat, bundling Avery up in the car seat. And she had eaten an hour before so I started stressing she was gonna be hungry before we got to doctor's office (she has been doing some MAJOR cluster-feeding, I think becuz she ends up falling asleep on my boob. And when I don't get to feed her on both sides, she wakes up so much sooner. Not to mention Mama gets engorged and starts leaking like crazy!) So needless to say, Avery was cranky. She started screaming during her diaper change, and peed ALL OVER her entire sleeper and changing table. I started to sweat as I quickly slapped a newborn diaper on her, a clean dry sleeper and strapped her into her car seat. She continued to scream all the way out the door (as I struggled to help Hunter step down the two stone steps off our front door, yell at the dog to get back as HE freaked out--major dog anxiety--and attempted to get the baby's car seat out the door without bashing her into the door frame! I popped Avery into the car first and Hunter started running across the driveway, headed straight for a mud puddle. Nice. Thankfully I caught him in time and hastily swung him into his seat all the while inwardly cursing that I was already leaving 15 minutes later than I wanted to. I popped a binky into Avery's mouth, PRAYING it would help. She is very much unlike her brother (in the newborn stage at least) in that she does NOT seem to like the binky. She sometimes gags so I don't bother giving it to her. Hunter, on the other hand, was a huge sucker and wasn't happy UNLESS it was in his mouth. I buckled myself in and Hunter started whimpering, becuz he gets a tad upset/nervous when Avery is screaming HARD (which thankfully has only happened like once before. Her crying is usually very small and mouse-like). Once I turned the car on, the radio came on sorta loud but lo and behold...it quieted Avery right down! I immediately hopped on my cell and called my mom and started to cry in her ear. I said, "Next time you offer to help me out and I turn you down, remind me about today!" Heh heh. It suddenly dawned on me in our rush to get out the door, poor Hunter hadn't had lunch. "Damnit!" I said to my mom, ready to cry again. Once on the road, there was no traffic and I was making good time so I made a pit stop at Dunkin Donuts to get myself a decaf iced coffee and some munchkins for Hunter (TOTALLY forgetting I already had my bribe candy ready for the doctor's office...m-n-m's. HELLO, sugar overload.). He happily chowed down on his glazed munchkins and sippy of water and by the time we pulled into the doctor's office parking lot, I was only going on five minutes late. Not bad. Ignoring the throbbing sciatic pain I have been having in my butt cheek (which it's been about 3-4 days now and by last night, it would be radiating down into my left leg) I carried Avery in her car seat and struggled to hang onto Hunter's hand as we went into the building. I was SO nervous he'd pull away and run into the parking lot and now that I'm distracted with TWO kids, I know my response time wouldn't be as fast. Once in the exam room, my little girl got weighed and I'm happy to say she is back up and above her birth weight. Woo hoo! The doctor told me 7 lbs 6 oz but I just realized today that the nurse wrote down 7 lbs 9oz so I honestly have no idea which it was. I was too busy trying to keep Hunter from tearing the exam room apart as Avery got weighed. As the doctor examined her and we chatted, my little hellion realized how easy it was to open the exam room door and kept trying to make his grand escape. At one point, the Pediatrician reached out and snagged the collar of Hunter's coat to stop him from squeezing out the cracked open door and then immediately apologized, "I'm SO sorry for grabbing his coat like that, I just wanted to catch him!" I laughed and reassured him, I've done the SAME thing before! As Avery was examined and started crying cuz she was cold, Hunter got anxious again and wanted me to pick him up and hold him. But a minute later I had to put him down when we realized little Avery had left the pediatrician a lovely mustard-seed present in her diaper. When the visit was over, I asked if I could nurse her before leaving and the doctor smiled and said no problem, and that he'd put the "Do Not Disturb-Nursing Mom" sign up on the door. (I love this! Do all pedi offices do this?) Once he was gone I whipped out a boob and started to feed the cranky girl...JUST as Hunter started to whip the door open!!! I literally 2-stepped across the room with Avery hanging off me, and slammed the door shut. From that moment on, I nursed her while sitting on the doctor' rolling stool...so that I could literally sit in front of and block the door from Hunter. He started to throw a tantrum and it was distracting Avery so THAT'S when I frantically said, "Hunter! Get the m-n-m's out of Mommy's bag!" His brown eyes widened and a smile lit up his face as he said, "M-m's???" and raced over to the diaper bag. Oh yes, I'd resorted to the candy bribe. I fed him one piece of chocolate at a time as my little girl leisurely drank her lunch, like we had ALL the time in the world. Hunter had chocolate, pink drool (they were leftover Valentine's Day m-n-m's) all over his chin, snot running out of his nose and I snagged a tissue and started wiping it all up. By the time we left the office, I was covered in snot, chocolate and breast milk. Gotta love it. I then had to carry Hunter on my hip and Avery in her seat on my other arm, out of the office, because a certain toddler was on the verge of a tantrum when he realized he was not going to get to see the fishies on the way out. I let him carry the keys once we were out of the office and in the hallway, and he happily toddled towards the door, crying out "Keys! Keys!". A nice woman who had her arms full of a briefcase, papers and files, saw me struggling with the door and said "Here let me get the door!" I REALLY wasn't sure how she'd fare much better, getting the door open but then she kicked it open. Perfect! Once we made it out to the car, I took the keys from Hunter and unlocked the door, set poor Avery's car seat down at my feet and proceed to lift a tantrum-throwing little boy, kicking and screaming into his car seat as he screamed, "KEYS! KEYS!". Then remembering how closely I'd parked to the car on the driver's side, I struggled just as much to get her car seat into the narrowly opened door (trying hard not to whack my car door into the car beside me). And when finally IN the car, I cranked the tunes back up, this time to drown out Hunter's cries and just laughed like a crazy person. How do you think I did on my first day out with the two kids? ;-)

2011-03-28T08:31:00.003-04:00

Good lord, if anyone could have EVER explained the love I'd feel for my babies (before they came), I'd never have understood how big my heart could expand.

Just how it would feel and how they complete the life Daryl and I have.

My sweet, sleeping babies. Mere words can not describe it.

LOVE.

2011-03-22T08:24:00.008-04:00

Avery's Birth Story

My girl is napping and my boy is coloring beside me, so I figured it's a good time to try to get Avery's birth story written out, before I forget any details! (of course right after writing that Avery woke up hungry)

On Tuesday, March 15, 2011 (the scheduled day of our induction) I called the hospital at 7am to make sure I could still come in for 8am. To my dismay, the hospital was pretty booked up and short-staffed for nurses. They told me if I hadn't heard back from someone by noon to give them a call.

Disappointed and already anxious, I resigned myself to the fact that we'd have to wait a few more hours. It turned out to be a blessing though to be able to spend a couple more hours giving attention and love to Hunter. My mom was already over so we all just hung out, ate lunch and relaxed on the couch and played with my baby boy. And at noon on the DOT, I called L&D and they (had been trying to reach me for couple hours but my phone number was wrong in their system) told me to come in for 2:30pm. Big D and I drove to the hospital in high spirits, stopping on the way to get a milkshake, something I'd been craving for days. I only took like 3-4 sips of Daryl's' shake, knowing it wasn't a good idea to have it now in case I was puking it back up later!

The hospital check-in was very leisurely becuz my doctor wouldn't be available to check me (and break my water) till at least 5:30PM. I put on my sexy gown and Daryl and I settled in and got comfy, as nurses put in my IV and did all my paperwork. At 4pm, we began pitocin. I was already mildly contracting on my own and they continued to stay mild and unassuming, even with the pitocin. What was MORE uncomfortable to me as the time progressed, was a horrible head ache I'd had since the night before AND that cursed heartburn that had plagued me the entire pregnancy. I begged for some tums and the nurse also promised to get me some Tylenol. They had more nurses on staff then and funny enough, my nurse Sarah remembered me and Daryl both from my labor with Hunter! We treated her like family, busting her chops and warning her she was in for a crazy ride with us, which she assured us she was excited about. Heh heh.

My doctor showed up around 5:45pm and performed an internal and her eyes widened and she said, "You'll be happy to know you are 7cm dilated and 90 % effaced already!"

"Holy shit! Are you serious?" I think was my exact words. Ha ha! "I'm hardly in pain at all, it's just a lot of pressure! I can't believe i"m already 7cm." I debated about the epidural which I'd been adamant about getting. I'm HORRIBLE with pain and I wanted to feel my contractions and know when to push, however, I do need to take the edge off the pain. With Hunter, I held off on getting an epi until I was in active labor (and not knowing by that point I was somewhere around 8cm) and so I knew I needed that pain relief in order to be able to focus on the task at hand! But knowing the contractions would pick up when the doctor broke my water, I was almost positive I'd still be getting the epi.

By 6pm, she broke my water and it was hilarious how much fluid came out of me! It just came gushing and gushing, like a river and at one point Daryl was like, "Um, Dr. I? You'd better watch your pant leg cuz there is a river of amniotic fluid about to hit it!" She moved her leg just in time.

"I haven't seen anyone with THIS MUCH fluid in a long time." she told us. My poor nurse's sleeve even got drenched. And my BELLY! It looked like two sizes smaller after all was said and done!

"You are NOT going to have a 9 lb baby." Both doctor and nurse assured me. Which is what everyone had originally thought based on my belly size.

Within no time, my contractions picked up and the silly, goofing off I had been doing with Daryl the past two hours wasn't as funny anymore as I breathed through them. I was definitely more vocal this time around than during Hunter's labor. Each time a contraction hit and was so intense, I just repeated my mantra of "Ow, ow, ow, ow ow" until it ended. Daryl reminded me to breathe and I think he thought I wasn't handling it well by saying "ow" but I told him that the deepness of saying it, helped me get through the contraction. I went to pee and the doctor checked me again just to make sure I wasn't closer than they thought. 8cm now and going strong.

I asked for my epi and the anesthesiologist was called in. I have to say, that was the hardest part, staying hunched over and still for him while each contraction hit...but i knew what to expect from the same experience during Hunter's labor. I do remember whining a little bit but the nurse helped me breathe through it. Daryl, nurse and doctor had made bets about when Avery's birth would be and I just remember staring at the times on the dry erase board (Nurse Sarah: 7:30, Doctor: 7:46, Daryl: 10pm) and telling Daryl a couple of times that I'd punch him in the face if his time was the correct one! ;-) I was kidding, of course.

By seven pm, they were helping me lay back in bed, my legs were tingling and feeling slightly numb and my contractions were picking up like crazy. I told someone, can't remember who, that I think I wanted to push. I remember my doctor sort of thinking it couldn't be time already and I was like, "Oh yes, I think it is!" She checked me and sure enough, I was fully dilated and effaced and ready to go!

I was asked if I minded a nursing student witnessing the birth and I told my doctor, pretty happy by this point cuz we were coming to the exciting moment, "The more the merrier! She's gotta learn somehow!" And then next thing I know, a nurse was asking if two more students could come in. Daryl looked at me with wide eyes and I smiled and simultaneously grimaced through a contraction and told them to bring them in cuz we were getting this show on the road.

I pushed a total of six times (I think my doctor estimated it took like 10 minutes?) and at first my eyes were open, and I remember sort of laughing to myself cuz one of the nursing students looked super nervous. But then instinct took over and I pretty much tuned everyone out (but my dr) and squeezed my eyes tightly shut to concentrate. They had Daryl holding one of my legs and a nurse holding the other and I demanded that Daryl support the back of my neck cuz I couldn't do that myself while pushing. I thought I was going to puke, in the middle of pushing, so they scurried to get me a pink thing and asked Daryl to hold it so he let go of my neck and I immediately barked, "Daryl, I NEED YOU TO HOLD MY NECK UP!" and felt bad for snapping at him but at the same time I was busy concentrating on pushing out my girl.

Since the epi came SO CLOSE to the end, it just took the edge off of the intense pain and I still felt every push, the feeling of Avery traveling down the birth canal and the slight pain and discomfort of her partially out of me. When only her head was out, she started crying! That spurred me on and despite how intensely tired my body was, I gave it everything I had then felt the crazy RELIEF of the baby being OUT. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

I was WAY more aware of everything this second time around, cuz with Hunter's I was very overwhelmed and felt like I was in another world. I looked down as they placed this little PEANUT baby on my chest/belly and saw her DARK hair and nose just like my son's. I immediately started to bawl my eyes out, it was such an amazing, awe-inspiring, emotional moment. I loved her just as much as i loved my first baby...it was just as magical a moment.

Avery Irene entered the world at 7:31PM, weighing 7 lbs 5 oz, 19 inches long.

After some cuddles and kisses, they took her over to the warmer to clean her up and I heard Daryl tell the nurse we wanted to wait on the gunk being put in her eyes for a a while, and to give her a chance to nurse first. I was SO proud of him for making our wishes known. This was how it had been with Hunter and we LOVED that special bonding time with him beforehand so I wanted the same thing with Avery.

As my doctor sewed me up (minimal tearing, yahoo!), she told me that i was MADE for having babies. I admit, hearing her say that, and becuz it was such an awesome experience, made me sad that this would be the last time I'd get to have this incredible moment. We are done at two children but in my heart I will always yearn for more!

She was SO SMALL and I almost felt like I Had no idea how to hold her. The nurses helped me try to get her to latch on but she didn't seem very interested so I didn't force it. We waited a little bit and tried again and she started eating, no problem. Around the time the nurse came back to do bathe Avery, I was like "Wait! Daddy hasn't even had a chance to hold her!" So Daryl held her and did some skin to skin... but even he was intimidated by her tiny size, once he got his turn.

The whole experience was beautiful and I couldn't believe I was only in labor for a total of 3 1/2 hours...amazing! Six pushes! I felt like super woman afterwards! (granted, a very tired and sore super woman). And then there is my Big D. Having another one of his children, and watching the joy on his face as he held Avery to him, made my heart ache harder with love. Who would have thought that having children would make me love my husband even more than I already do??

And the prize for my hard work is now nestled sleepily against my skin, nursing contentedly. I couldn't be more happy and content, myself!

2011-03-17T15:26:00.005-04:00

Our baby girl has arrived!!!

Avery Irene was born Tuesday, March 15th, 2011 at 7:31 pm after 3 1/2 hours of labor, 6-8 minutes of pushing and on a giant ocean swell of love from her Mommy, Daddy and big brother, Hunter.

She weighed in at a "whopping" 7 lbs 5 oz, 19 1/2 inches with beautiful dark hair, a nose like her brother's and sweet little lips.

And we couldn't be happier for our family to be complete!

More to come, including a slightly more detailed birth story, after we all get some rest and bonding time in as a family of four.

So thankful for my children.

2011-03-14T07:25:00.003-04:00

Night Terrors?

Daryl and I think Hunter has been suffering from Night Terrors recently.

He still wakes up every night (sometimes multiple times a night...UGH...) but he has always been super easy to settle back down into bed and he drifts right back off to sleep. I know there have been quite a few changes in everyone's lives recently so I attribute his horrible sleeping at night to that, as he adjusts.

But this new phase? Is totally different. I'd say it happened like 3 times this week and 2 times last week. And the first couple times it was like, "What the HELL is this kid doing?" He'd wake up screaming (not his usual wake-up cry) and when one of us would go in he'd either be standing by his bed with a frantic look on his face or he'd be at the wall or door banging on it with his little fists.

And the usual "It's okay, Hunter. Mommy/Daddy is here." did nothing to calm him down! When he is in one of these terrors he even runs fearfully away from us. And being he is half-asleep, we try to grab him quick (without scaring him more!) before he hurts himself cuz he did run into the wall the other day. The other night I heard Daryl in there with him, and all this crashing/banging as Daryl kept saying soothingly, "It's okay, buddy, it's okay. Daddy is right here." And he told me afterward that it was crazy, Hunter was flinging all the picture frames and his baby monitor off the nightstand almost in a frenzy.

Then last night I went in (Daryl was downstairs watching TV) when I heard this frightened screaming and banging on his door. I quickly opened the door and said in a calming, soft voice that I was there, and his eyes were wide, practically bugging out of his little head, and he screamed LOUDER and ran away from me! My mouth just kinda fell open in shock. After I was able to grab him, before he tripped on anything, I held him tight to me which usually makes him feel secure when he wakes up at night, but instead it seemed to have the opposite reaction and he fought me, arching his back and continuing to cry. And to make matters worse, Avery must have been in a REALLY awkward position in my belly cuz I was perched sitting on Hunter's mattress trying to calm him and feeling a sharp, stabbing belly pain! I called Daryl in and he took over and settled him right down so I could go back to bed and try to get comfortable (or as comfortable as manageable).

Daryl has really stepped it up the last 1-2 months with taking care of Hunter during the night. He knows how exhausted I've been AND how difficult it is for me to get out of bed now. Don't get me wrong, I still TRY but even with Daryl watching TV downstairs sometimes, he STILL makes it into Hunter's room before I do, two doors down from his bedroom! And maybe becuz of this, it seems like Hunter and Daryl have become eeeeevvvveeeennn closer so now the nights I DO try to go in to soothe my baby, he wants nothing to do with me! He wants his Daddy! I guess in a way, this is a blessing in disguise since Avery will be here soon (TOMORROW! YIKES!) and I'll be nursing half the night away.

But at the same time, it makes me feel sad. Mommy isn't always enough to soothe her baby boy! And now throwing in these night terrors (which are hard to watch your child having them and not being able to make him feel better), I feel bad cuz I know Daryl has been pretty tired. But he has been doing a great job!

So has anyone's child gone through Nights Terrors? How long did it last? I did read a little on the internet and it suggested waking them up right before the time they usually have them but becuz Hunter wakes up a lot ANYWAY, I seriously couldn't tell you when the night terror will strike. AND I'm not willing to wake him up even more then he already is waking on his own....his sleeping is so erratic at night and I think part of this could be contributing to his INSANE tantrums during the day, cuz he is so tired. But I'd be curious to know if this is (HOPEFULLY???) a short-lived phase?

2011-03-10T18:44:00.002-05:00

It looks like Tuesday (Wednesday) is going to be the day we get to meet our baby girl!

I'm now 70% dilated, still 4cm, and my doctor will induce me Tuesday morning.

Daryl and I are so excited to have Avery and to make Hunter a big brother. And now it's finally hitting me...the nervousness about labor and giving birth. I know I've done it before so it's not like that scary unknown that it was the first time around...but I also realize no two labor and births are alike and so there IS still a bit of unknown.

It will just be me and Daryl in the hospital room, I think. Originally, my MIL was going to be there too but becuz she is on a deadline for her work projects, she might not be able to come till next weekend. Either way is fine with me. I would love for her to be there and experience it with us. Just like I would love to share the experience with just my husband (my Mom was in the room with us when Hunter was born).

I'm not looking forward to two nights away from my first baby, however. ;-( My night in the hospital two Mondays ago was my first night EVER away from Hunter. Crazy, right? Considering he is 19 months old! But I just hadn't been able to do it. Seeing him that next morning was a happy moment for Mommy! So TWO nights away? It will be tough. But I know Hunter will be in great hands, his Nana's. And he will get to come visit us. I'll try not to maul him TOO much with hugs and kisses after that first night.

Well, lots of thoughts swirling through my brain right now but no way to articulate them so I'm going to leave it at that. I have a sweet boy to cuddle with before he goes to sleep (in his big boy bed, which he LOVES)....I am ready to enjoy these last five nights (unless Avery decides to make an appearance beforehand) with Hunter as an only child and give him lots of lovin'. And then I'll welcome with HUGE open arms, our second child, little Avery, who will make our family complete!

Wish me luck....and easy labor vibes, of course. ;-)

2011-03-02T11:20:00.007-05:00

Pregnancy, with a toddler at home, is definitely crazy and draining at times.

But despite the more stress and irritability I feel (quite often!), I don't want to forget to mention all the GOOD that's been going on lately with Hunter.

This boy is growing like a WEED, I tell you! He is so freakin' hilarious and feisty and there are days I tell him "no" when he is doing something bad and give him a tap on the hiney, when the little stinker starts to laugh at me. LAUGH. And the worst part? I sometimes have to turn away so he doesn't see me laughing right along with him!

Hunter is definitely quite the chatterbox now. He says lots of words:

doggie

Tucker

baby

Mommy and Daddy

bubba (our nickname for him)

Nana

'Pa (for Gpa or Grandpa)

beans

hot dog

chips

banana (which sounds more like nana)
apple

grapes (he says "gapes")

milk
wa-wa (for water)

ball

cat

light (although it sounds more like "liiiiii")

wipes

buddy

Anthony (his best friend)

bye bye

cup

spoon

fork

car

tree

done

belly (and he tries very hard to say belly button)

tea

hot

remote (which he says "mote")

potty

pee-pee

tissue

duck

bath or tubby

dipe (for diaper)

cheese
down

balloon (which he says "boon")

binky

apple sauce

teeth

toothpaste

Oh man, there are so many more, but my brain just won't cooperate right now! He is not a pro yet with stringing words together but the pediatrician said she wasn't' worried about that yet.

Hunter eats (and has been for a while now) perfectly with a spoon and a fork and most of the time even uses our normal size silverware (and not the baby size). He HATES to have dirty hands and after eating a meal, he is more than eager for me to wipe his hands off...and he now will wipe his own hands if you give him a napkin/wash cloth.

He loves to throw things away in the garbage for him, especially his dirty diapers. Anything that goes in the garbage he calls "ca-ca". He is a HUGE helper to me...always wants to put clothes in the dirty laundry hamper or if I'm putting laundry from the washer to the dryer I hand the wet stuff to him so he can do it.

We used to have a VERY loud Keurig Coffee maker and the most hilarious thing happened...morning after morning of watching/listening to us make our coffee, Hunter finally started to call our coffee, "AAAAHHHHHHH" which is what the machine sounded like. So now, even though we have a MUCH quieter machine, he loves for us to make our "AAAAAHHHHH" in the morning.

The not-so-fun things?

1. He takes stuff OUT of the garbage. Hunter knows that our k-cups are for coffee so he often pulls them out of the garbage and runs proudly over to display them to me, Saying, "Aaaahhhhh?"

2. He has an obsession with anything he is NOT allowed to play with. Remote controls, cell phones, cameras, phones, radios, fax machine, etc.

3. Hunter throws MEGA, MEGA tantrums when he is reeeeally tired/hungry or can't have what he wants. I'm talking, banging his head on the hardwood floors or walls, and sometimes smacking himself in the face. Oh yes, my boy has quite the temper.

4. This crazy kid climbs on EVERYTHING. If I have to shower for work, I shut him in the big bathroom with me, now. I remember one particularly stressful day when I had to jump out of the shower THREE TIMES becuz Hunter was climbing on a box, garbage can, stool to pull stuff down off of the washing machine. He shoves whatever he can find up to a wall, so that he can climb it to reach light switches.

5. Hunter pulls stuff down off the counter tops constantly. Before it became a daily habit, and we didn't' really realize just how good of a reach he had, he had grabbed at a steak knife, a pair of scissors, a hot cup of tea/coffee...anything dangerous of course! Mommy had a a couple mini heart attacks each and every time and now we know to keep everything pushed FAR to the back of the counter tops.

Some other fun changes...he shows huge interest in when we go potty, but I haven't pushed for HIM to go potty yet. He sits on his own little potty fully dressed when he sees Mommy or Daddy on the big potty, and then we all cheer when he stands up. I have attempted to put him on without his diapers a few times, but he sits for a second and then bounds back up. One day he seemed particularly interested right before his bath, so all stripped down, I put him on his potty. Again, he sat for a few seconds then bounded up and started lifting up his potty seat and inspecting it, sat back down on it on his own (backwards, sideways) then stood back up. And then he squatted down to grab a roll of TP and peed all over Mommy's bathroom floor! Heh.I KNOW he doesn't like being in a dirty/wet diaper and either tries to pull off the wet one, or he'll bring me a diaper to change him, so I'm thinking it's only a matter of time before I really focus on potty-training.

Hunter is now in a "big boy bed"!! After many issues lately with sleeping (and his continual need to climb out of his crib), we put our spare full size mattress down on the carpeted floor and surrounded it with stuffed animals, blankets (in case he rolls out) and he has been sleeping in it on his own for like a week now. Before that, he slept in it a few times with his Daddy. Hunter is still waking up like once a night, but I'll TAKE that compared to the sometimes 3-4 times a night he was waking up, flinging himself all over his crib, banging his head against the crib rails, like he was doing.

And his buddy, Tucker, loves it during Hunter's nap time. ;-)

He loves to hum and sing in the car, if I put the radio on, he will be bopping along in his car seat, tapping his hand on his thigh, "singing" along to Pearl Jam or whatever else may be on that tickles his fancy. Makes a Mommy proud! Heh heh.

Oh, another hilarious thing Hunter has started doing? If he is in the bathroom with me while I go "pee pee on the potty", as soon as I stand up, he tries to help me pull my pants up for me! The first time he did it, I couldn't help but laugh!

He is a VERY affectionate boy who loves to give hugs and sometimes kisses. Whenever he sees a child, he wants to bear-hug him or her. He is very generous, always giving his books and toys to any house guests who come over to play. I hope he stays this way!

Oh lord, there is SO much more but a certain boy is making a huge mess of his apple sauce right now (he now has a fetish with playing with his food! ARGH!) so I'm off to clean it up....

2011-03-01T09:30:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling very disappointed and irritable right now.

Around 6:15 PM last night, while driving home from work, I started to feel very uncomfortable. I had to pee so wasn't sure if it was just the intense pressure of the baby on my bladder but by the time I made it into the house, I started to wonder if i was having contractions.

While Daryl, Hunter and my Mom (who sleeps over on Monday nights, when she watches the baby at my house Monday and Tuesday) sat down to dinner, I hopped onto contraction master and started to time them. The pressure had intensified but it wasn't painful yet. However when timing them, they were coming like 3-4 minutes apart. So after about an hour and a half, I called and had the doctor paged.

My doctor was actually in the middle of performing a c-section so a Labor and Delivery nurse from the hospital called me back and told me to come in to get monitored. Around 8:00pm I was at the hospital and hooked up to the monitor and still contracting every 3-4 minutes, without fail. The L&D floor was an UTTER mob scene (preggos popping all over! LOL) so it was a little bit before my doctor came in to perform an internal on me. She told me I was now 2cm but cervix still long and thick. *SIGH*

Still hopeful at this point!

The contractions started to get painful and a bit stronger, however still only 3 minutes apart and THAT wasn't really changing. Around 10:15pm ish my doctor came in and disappointed me by saying that I wasn't really progressing and maybe should head on home. I admit, hearing that made me super anxious becuz with Hunter, despite the doctor/nurses saying it was going to take forever (due to being my 1st labor and that I was induced and on pitocin) labor started to progress REALLY quickly. Nine hours later, our boy was born! What if I drove all the way home and then suddenly they started coming fast and furious?

So, my doctor said she wanted to check me out one more time before we made decision and she reminded me that she couldn't really give me anything to speed up labor due to the fact that my cervix was not thinning out. But low and behold, I was now a "loose" 4cm (and she said she felt like she could even stretch me to a 5)! The sucky part? My cervix was STILL LONG AND THICK. So even though Avery had moved down a teeny tiny bit more, she was still not engaged.

By this time, the contractions were a tad more than mildly painful (but not unbearably so) and I was so confused cuz my doctor didn't seem convinced anything would happen. She asked if I could sleep through them and I said probably not, becuz I was too amped up and anxious over everything. So, after getting me into a room, they gave me some Ambien to sleep and said the nurse would check on me later. I ate a yogurt and some jello (cuz I hadn't really eaten dinner and was STARVING) and some juice then suddenly the Ambien began to take affect and I started to crash, HARD. By this time, the contractions had died down and were not painful, so I wasn't holding out much hope but still PRAYED silently to make some progress.

At 4:00am I woke up like someone had turned on a light switch and was wide awake. The nurse put me back on the monitor and unfortunately the contractions were now sporadic and not strong, at all. I did have a little bit of cervical mucus on the TP after peeing, but haven't seen any since then. After one more internal check (which the Doctor said I was now "tight" 4cm) they discharged me.

Talk about a TOTAL let down. :-(

I made Daryl take me right out to breakfast to drown my sorrows in french toast, eggs and bacon and then we were back home where I got some much-needed hugs from my Hunter. My Mom left a little while ago to go home and rest and do some laundry just in case by some miracle contractions picked back up. But I'm not feeling very hopeful at this point. They've died down a ton. I know we are not in a "rush" cuz technically I'm still early (37 weeks 3 days) but I am mentally and emotionally READY and after last night, I feel very let down! I was SO hoping to meet my girl much sooner than anticipated and now I feel like that's been taken away for who knows how long. Just bummed out this morning.

2011-02-25T07:18:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had an interesting afternoon. :-)

I've been having pretty regular Braxton Hicks contractions for about two weeks now, and the past two days they've seemed to pick up in intensity. So yesterday when I went to drop Hunter off at my mom's before work, I kept thinking how uncomfortable I was feeling (especially hoisting him in and out of his car seat and carrying him around) as my belly sporadically, but often, kept tightening up. By the time I got to work at 1:30pm, I had to keep grabbing my belly and I was walking REALLY slow, cuz the contractions made breathing a bit uncomfortable. But still, no pain, so I didn't worry or anything.

At one point in the bathroom I stood up after peeing and I SWEAR I felt like my body was trying to squeeze the baby out! Odd, I thought, and went back to my desk. I started to get really sweaty and a bit nauseous and realized I was going to have to run back to the bathroom, that lovely diarrhea had hit. And then I realized that unlike regular BH, I was feeling some low pressure and an achey fullness, something I HADN'T felt up to that point.

The contractions kept coming erratically, but definitely more often than usual, so I figured a cal to my OBGYN was in order just for peace of mind (despite the fact that I kept second-guessing what I was feeling WAS contractions). So at 3pm I made the call and they told me to come in.

They stuck me on the monitor and I felt silly, like I was wasting everyone's time. Anyway, I wasn't crazy...I DID have three contractions while there on the monitor! Believe it or not, it actually made me feel better that I was able to determine that's what it was...cuz even though this is my second pregnancy, I didn't go into labor on my own with Hunter. I was induced, so nothing started until I was IN the hospital, on pitocin and a monitor. I was afraid on my own, I wouldn't know when a contraction was starting.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, I'm NOT in labor yet. I'm 1cm dilated but cervix still long. During my internal, the Dr. tapped on Avery's head and I felt it bobble around, so she told me her head was low but not engaged yet.

I have to admit, despite the fact that I would have been psyched to have her, cuz I've been MISERABLE lately (so tired, uncomfortable and achey and she is now HURTING me with her movements...plus i can't pick up Hunter often which makes things VERY difficult around here. And running around from my house to my mom's to drop off Hunter to work, then back to her house to get him and home for an approx. 45 min to 1 hour commute--well it's been very DRAINING), I wasn't QUITE ready and felt a sense of relief! Daryl needs to put the infant car seat in our vehicle and I still need to pack my darn hospital bag! And my MIL, who is going to be coming down from NY for the birth, was not quite ready on the work front and wouldn't have been able to leave to come to us if I HAD been in labor!

I did warn my MIL that while it could still be another 3 weeks before she makes an appearance, at the same time, I'm starting to wonder if maybe she will come a little early. My stomach is SO low that driving is very uncomfortable...it's like sitting with a giant watermelon pressing down on my lap the whole ride. Heh. And while I wanted to just let things go naturally, Daryl and I decided last night that we are going to set up an induction after all. For a couple of reasons. I REALLY, REALLY want my own doctor (no offense to the other 3 doctor's in the practice but I'm just MOST comfortable and happy with MY doctor) to be the one to deliver Avery. I had such a great experience with Hunter's delivery and I know part of it is due in part to my awesome doctor (AND the fabulous nurse I had, gotta give credit where it's due!).
Also, my mother-in-law lives three and a half hours away and she is getting anxious about when to come down. Her being in the room for Avery's birth is VERY important and something she only just agreed to DO. She's never been able to experience pregnancy and childbirth for herself (Daryl was adult-adopted) and has a HORRIBLE history of loss (8-9 miscarriages :0( over the years she tried to have a baby) and both Daryl and I really wanted to give her this experience. At first, she admitted to us she wasn't sure how she felt about it...she was worried that it would bring up bad memories and feelings. But after some thinking and talking with her husband (not the same husband she tried to get pregnant with years and years ago) she finally came to the conclusion that she wanted to be there with us and share this moment!

And certainly not LEAST of all, is Hunter care! My mom is going to watch Hunter at our house for us when we go in to have the baby. She'll stay overnight to take care of our first baby (and our doggie!) so that way Daryl can still stay overnight at the hospital with me. That is VERY important to me. We had such special bonding moments with Hunter together those first two days, and I want us to have the same with Avery, together. Not to mention, I had some MELTDOWN moments that only my husband could get me through. ;-) SO Hunter will have his Nana with him and that makes me feel better...despite the fact that I'm going to miss him like CRAZY those two days! My mom will be bringing him to the hospital to see me and to meet his sister, after she is born. ;-) Anyway, being that we don't' live super close to my mom anymore, I want to make sure she has enough time to get to us without us having to rush around etc. I really want this whole process to be as stress free as possible cuz I've been under WAY more stress than necessary the past couple of months. I don't want ANY of that stress to be communicated during my baby girl's birth.

Now granted, if Avery comes BEFORE our induction date (which we won't be picking until my next appointment next Friday) then there is nothing I can do about that! ;-)

2011-02-20T15:36:00.006-05:00

Hard to believe...I'm 36 weeks (as of yesterday).

The pregnancy is winding to a close and soon we will get to meet our baby girl!

I've definitely entered the not-so-fun part of pregnancy...everything hurts, sitting on my ass too long makes it go numb, I can barely sleep at night, I pee 50 million times a day/night (and often times race to the bathroom for just a trickle to come out), I'm nauseous again sometimes after eating, diarrhea (sorry to be TMI, but it's the truth!), and I look like a waddling DUCK when I walk!

I'm also a CRAZY bitch, everything and everyBODY annoys the hell out of me lately. Stay OUTTA my way if you know what's good for you.

And Avery is jammed so tightly in my huuuuuuuuuuuuge belly that I often flinch and/or cry out in pain. She kicked/pressed her feet so tightly/roughly into my ribs this morning that it almost took my breath away.

Needless to say, as much as I'm trying to enjoy my second and last pregnancy, I'm also at that point of being SO READY to get her out. I PRAY this girl comes early. Heh heh.

So here are a couple belly shots for comparison sakes. I'm posting my 36 week belly shot but I'm also posting the pics I took a couple of weeks ago at 34 weeks 3 days...my belly looks like it turned into a freaking torpedo! ha ha!

The first two shots are of me at 34w3d, in my jammies!And now here I am the other day, at 36 weeks. Holy CRAP.

Is it March 19th yet????

2011-02-08T08:10:00.004-05:00

Dear Avery,

Well, baby girl, you have certainly dropped already in Mommy's belly! When I sit down now I feel like I can barely move over my belly. And I'm thinking it must be quite a tight squeeze in there, cuz I am not feeling as many movements as before (that's not to say I NEVER feel you, cuz I do!). I bet you are just as eager to come out, as Mommy is to HAVE you out. ;-)

I'm getting very excited to meet you...and I really hope these last 5-6 weeks fly by (I don't think you will be late, baby. I have a feeling you will arrive on time, if not a tad early). Even though I DON'T necessarily feel ready yet! I'm nesting but don't have much to do cuz we already HAVE most of the baby stuff we need. And I do still have to wash all your clothes (everyone is generous with the hand-me-downs! I think just like Hunter, you will have MORE than enough clothes). But since Mommy, Daddy and Hunter just moved recently, the house is NOT fully in order yet and I still have your clothes at the OLD place. I hate this in-between business!

Wait till you meet your big brother, Avery. I think you are in for a treat! Hunter LOVES babies. We just had our friends over this weekend and Hunter is absolutely in LOVE with 10-month old T.J. He hugs him, sits next to him with his arm wrapped around the baby's shoulders, and gives T.J. his blanky or binky when he needs it. He is going to be the BEST big brother ever to you and I have no doubt that as you two grow, even though you'll probably have your sibling fights, he will still be your best friend and ally!

Daddy's 35th birthday is coming up, Avery, and when I asked him what he wanted or if we should do something special for it, he told me "Nothing! I'm already getting the best gift ever. My daughter!" You are a Daddy's girl already and you haven't even been born yet.

I will admit, I wondered (and still do) what it will feel like the moment you are born. Will it be just like when your brother entered the world? Will I be in awe of you, and hold you and just be so surprised you are MINE? I was listening to a patient talk on her cell phone the other day at my work, and she recently had her second baby. She was telling her friend that before her son was born, she couldn't imagine loving anyone else as much as her daughter (her first) and then when her son was born, it was like that same magic all over again. I can't wait for this moment, baby girl. :-)

I love you already and I look forward to holding you in my arms. But for now, I will enjoy the time I get to hold you inside of me. Stay healthy, sweet girl.
Love Always,
Your Mommy

2011-01-22T10:05:00.005-05:00

In all the drama that has been going on in my life lately, I feel bad that I haven't been able to update on little Avery's growth and progress in my belly!

Pregnancy is progressing along with ONE exhausted Mama at the helm. Hunter has been very clingy and needy with me lately (is it the age? He's just about 18 months now. OR maybe just from the last of his darn teeth poking through?) and OFTEN wants to be held and cuddled. I worry how Avery's arrival will affect the relationship he and I share. I will love him NO LESS, of course, but I won't be able to devote as much time to him as I do now. And that scares the crap out of me! How do/did you handle the sudden jarring change of juggling two children, when you'd become so accustomed to one?

New stretch marks are "blossoming" (ha!) what seems like daily across my stretched belly. With Hunter, I often joked that it looked like Tony the Tiger had scratched his way ACROSS my belly. And now with Avery, Daryl mentioned the other day that it looked like Freddy Kruger had raked his gloved talons DOWN the right side of my belly (Avery's favorite hang out spot is the right side).

Gotta love that Big D. LOL

The heartburn, while still here and annoying, has definitely died down in it's crazy intensity. I really FEEL for and have an empathetic appreciation for all of you who suffer from bad heartburn/reflux in general. I only get it while pregnant, and it makes me MISERABLE. The indigestion has picked up and Daryl so sweetly reminds me often how I burp like a truck driver and he can't WAIT till that part of it is over. Yeah, you and me both, buddy.

Suddenly what seems like overnight, I feel like Hunter is ten pounds heavier when I carry him. I asked Daryl about it and he assured me that it was just ME feeling that...Hunter felt no different to him. So it's DEFINITELY getting harder and harder to move around and carry things (toddlers!) the bigger I get.

We've already begun our biweekly appointments at the OBGYN. Last week's appointment, the Dr. went over the results for my 3-hour glucose test. While the results were slightly elevated (approx. 180), he said I did not have Gestational Diabetes. However, he said it wouldn't hurt to follow the diet the Diabetes Nutritionist could give me. Well, between no time with work and moving, and no babysitter, I have since decided not to go to the appointment with the nutritionist and I'm just going to make an effort on my own to cut back on the sugar. I KNOW what I'm eating that is causing the higher blood sugar level so there is no reason I can't cut it way back.

And on a great note, I'm measuring right on track! Belly was 31 inches at exactly 31 weeks (TODAY I hit 32 weeks, yikes) which is amazing to me...considering with Hunter's pregnancy I was measuring like 4-5 weeks AHEAD at this point. That's why I ended up with extra ultrasounds and worries about how big of a baby he'd be. I'm pretty convinced that my Avery girl is going to be about eight pounds, give or take (well, more give, LOL). That's my prediction! Her heartbeat sounded healthy and galloped right along at the visit, bringing a smile to my face.

Hard to believe we are getting down to the wire here. I had a moment, about 2 weeks ago, where I was driving home from work and baby girl was tumbling erratically around in my belly, like a pin ball, and I swear it's like it REALLY and TRULY hit me...we're HAVING ANOTHER BABY. I felt this momentary burst of pure PANIC wash over me and like an "OMG, what are we gonna do?" moment. Then I just started laughing. Has it really taken me this long to realize I'm going to have a second child? When I told Daryl about it, he smiled and said, "Welcome to my world."

We are thrilled about her arrival but I won't lie, I think we're both nervous about how it will affect the life the three of us have built together. I don't want to feel like I'm spread too thin and can't give enough of my time, attention and love to ANY of my family (Hunter, Avery and Daryl) so the juggling part will have to be learned, I guess. I know it will all work out though. I can't wait to become a Mommy for the second time, and the FIRST time to a sweet girl!

Avery, I've got your first pink dress ready and waiting (don't worry, I'm NOT going to be one of those Mommy's who dresses you in pink every day of your life, heh). I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and smell your skin and rub my thumb down your cheek. I can't wait to see whose nose you have (Daddy and Hunter's? Or Mommy's?) and if you are an outgoing, smiley baby like your brother or a shy little girl. I am so ready to meet you, honey!!!

2011-01-20T08:30:00.005-05:00

I've been a little scarce around these bloggin' parts lately.

Life hasn't been easy.

We are currently in the process of moving. Moving, while eight months pregnant, royally sucks. Moving, with an active almost 18-month old getting into everything, also is not the smoothest way to do it.

However, I could easily live with both of those things if we were moving becuz we WANTED to. We're moving becuz we just can't afford the house anymore, and the upkeep that goes into owning a home. Money has definitely been tight ever since Hunter was born (oh, who am I kidding, before that even...but that was our own fault for not being very responsible with our finances) and it's certainly been a struggle.

But, laying awake at night for hours, your brain whirling around with thoughts of losing your home and a roof over your family's head? Well, that sucks the most. I know that's putting it mildly, but I figured out a while ago if I didn't make a joke out of it, I'd cry nonstop. (And there definitely were some days where I felt like that's ALL I did.)

Coming to the decision, though, was NOT an easy one. Looking at our little Cape, and the memories that have been built here, make me so very sad to leave on the terms that we are. I thought for sure when we eventually moved out of here that it would be a joyous occasion and it's started out as anything but.

I bought this house as a single, excited (but scared shitless) young twenty-something with no one's guidance but my own...feeling so immensely proud of the biggest decision I'd EVER made and knowing I'd done it all myself. I became a grown-up in this house. I met my Big D in this house, when he came to pick me up for our first (AWESOME) date....brought him home and pretty much, he never left. ;-) This home has seen so much sadness, but just as much, if not more, LOVE. Daryl and I laid in bed together that first night after realizing that a piece of paper said we were legally husband and wife, giggling like schoolkids and thinking how "funny" it sounded. We came home, exhausted but happy, me still poufy in my wedding dress that early evening after our actual wedding and drank wine/beer with friends and chowed down on pizza...then after everyone left and the beautiful silence set in, my hubby and I sat around in our pj's, looking at the mounds of gifts piled high in our little living room, feeling so blessed and smiling those silly grins at each other. We conceived both of our children in this house that had become our HOME. Brought Hunter home from the hospital, all tiny and wrinkled and sweet, and proudly showed him off to our family, friends, and our neighbors across the street. Watched Tucker grow from a little yellow bundle of puppy fluff into the big blockhead he is now, as he happily raced around our backyard each season. Made great friends with three of the neighbors who surround our home. We've poured a lot of blood, sweat and (money, LOL) tears into this house. And while it definitely has had it's faults, we wouldn't be the family we are today if NOT for the memories made within these walls.

I'll never forget the flooding basement (hearing Daryl step off the bottom step, followed by a SPLASH and "Son of a bitch!!!") and watching from the top of the basement stairs as the shop vac and a lone sneaker floated by. The field mice who so valiantly tried to take over our house (and washing machine!) and made me so crazy that I literally locked all three of my cats in the kitchen one night praying they'd catch them (and they didn't)! The cracked pipe that spewed raw sewage into my basement as my then-only-3 month of a boyfriend held his hands cupped over it trying to stop the flow, and dry-heaving while my mouth hung up in horror. Watching in shock as Daryl practically held the roof of the sun porch up with his bare hands, becuz when he'd taken out the door, the crumbling wood had finally given free! Crying some nights endlessly, as I missed my Dad and wished so hard he could see how far I'd come. Family dinners around our crappy, chipped and chewed up (courtesy of Daisy) table, dinners that weren't always easy with some of those family members stressing us out, heh. Arguments, tears, making up with Daryl and telling each other we love each other, and him kissing me goodbye every morning at the Cape's front door. Pacing the floors with a newborn, some days bawling my eyes out myself and watching my son grow and thrive.

The good, the bad, the ugly...all of it woven together into the tapestry of our home.

And now, we're leaving it.

But I have to acknowledge that it's not all bad. I've slowly come to the realization that this will be good for us. We will be renting Daryl's grandma's house at the lake, a place Daryl used to live for years and a place I've happily spent the last few summers sun-tanning and swimming in the lake's cool water. Yes, the bedrooms are not big and the two kids will have to share a room, but the additional living space more than makes up for that. The endless windows downstairs that spill in the sunshine. The joy I see in Hunter's face as he races from one end of the house to the other, giggling as his voice echoes and bounces happily around in the high ceilings.

Daryl and I will be sharing the bedroom that used to be his, the room that I remember sleeping in as a newly dating couple and snuggling together in his full size bed, thinking how lucky I was and how I was going to marry this man someday.

So, despite the stress of moving, and all the endless cleaning I've had to do (Daryl's grandma and Dad, who sometimes stayed there are NOT good house cleaners), and chasing after Hunter as he raced across newly mopped floors in his sock-feet, the end of pregnancy fatigue threatening to drag me down...I keep plugging through it. I keep at it becuz I know once it's all over, we can finally settle down and get our lives back on track. We've already made some changes in how we deal with the finances and Daryl and I both are happy with it. We have big plans for the future and for our children's lives.

No matter WHERE we are living, we will still keep this family thriving and happy! Home is what you make of it, right?

2011-01-13T08:54:00.007-05:00

Winter Storm Benedict 1/12/11

We got a lot of snow! Living in New England, you kind of expect that, but the last few years (okay, more like TEN years) have been pretty weak in the snow department. We've only had one somewhat memorable storm that I only vaguely recall...back in 2006.

But yesterday brought me back to my childhood! Two feet of snow (and some parts of the state got about 30 inches)! Now THAT'S what I remember New England winters to be like.

Here is the view out of our bedroom window, and this was about 6:00ish am, so the storm hadn't dumped the worst of it yet (although it had been snowing all night).So, where did my front steps go? It looks like you can walk straight out of my house onto level ground, but there is a drop to the cement porch!I loved it! Although I was warmly ensconced in my home all day and not trying to manuever around in snow up to my neck (and higher) like poor Tucker, when he needed to do his business. Let's just say, my doggie had to poop REALLY bad yesterday...and he NEVER WENT. He normally doesn't mind the snow, but I don't think it's ever been as high as his head before (he is about four years old now...so he's only been around for the weak winters).If dogs could talk, Tucker would probably be saying, "Dude. This sucks."Big D was snow blowing ALL DAY LONG. When it snows he not only snow blows our driveway, but 2-3 of our neighbors. So he did four around the neighborhood before I finally dragged him in for lunch. Then he had to load up the trailer and take his snow blower out to his grandparents house and do their driveway. Then he did the lake house's driveway. Seriously? I didn't really SEE the man till 5pm! He's a good egg, my hubby. (And I promise, he really DOES have legs...they're just kinda buried at the moment. Heh.) Oh, and those big white mounds behind him are the truck, car and his work van!

So, I feel like MY pictures really don't do it justice, but it was a good storm. More snow to come this weekend!!

2010-12-31T08:34:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year's Eve!

Tonight we have NO plans other than chilling out at home and eating some yummy apps for dinner. Staying off the roads and away from the crazy, drunk drivers. Plus I'm just too damn tired to make it till midnight. I'm normally in bed BY ten o'clock. And I'm perfectly content to ring in the new year on a quiet--or sleeping!--note. Does that mean I'm an "old" 34-year-old now? No more wild parties, up all night? ;-) (Ok, sorry for the weird/lack of spacing in this post. My damn laptop is giving me issues.) Anyway, I went to my OBGYN check-up yesterday and all is good and on track! I only gained about 2 lbs, despite the fact that I failed my first 1-hour glucose test. Well, I shouldn't say "failed"...the glucose level was "slightly elevated" as the nurse put it. 163. So not necessarily that I have Gestational Diabetes. But I'm NOT looking forward to the damn 3-hour test. It means I have to have my Mom come over at the butt-crack of dawn and then go sit in the lab, on an EMPTY STOMACH, and get poked and prodded during those three hours. Ugh! But I'm sure it will all be fine, in the end. Also, my fundus (pretty much this is the measurement of my big 'ol belly!) is measuring at about 30 weeks which is fine considering tomorrow I'll be exactly 29 weeks! So physically, Avery and I are doing good (she is SUPER active and I love all her movements)! However, mentally? I'm a mess lately. LOTS going on in our life, not all of it good, but aiming to make it better. So that coupled with the hormonal changes, makes me very emotional at the drop of a hat. I WILL NOT miss THAT part of pregnancy, no sirreee! Daryl and I are just really looking forward to meeting our little girl and completing our family. Eleven more weeks (approx.) and counting! And we are looking forward to some positive changes in our life in the New Year...so bring it on, 2011~!!!!